When a creature not a pony(Or human) pops into Equestia, things will be interesting.
A creature of long life and eternal curiosity. Astral Dragons, go from one world to another randomly, taking forms to fit in. Living in one world, then the next. They live, explore, and sometimes find love in these worlds.
When a young one named Ailan Sempar, after visiting some harsh worlds, gets into the seemingly utopian world of Equestia, he hopes for a pleasant life here. That may or may not happen.
As you can tell, I'm not good at descriptions. Enjoy and constructive comments are welcomed on my very first fic.
Will add more tags as characters show up.
Picture done by the amazing cloudlinedasher.
Chapters (3)
The beginning was great yet a bit sad
Awesome beginning. The transitions where a bit awkward. And the way things are stated makes more like your telling and not showing. Try to show the reader not tell. All in all a good story. Keep up the good work.
I really enjoyed this. I have to agree that it was told and not shown. Though, I thought this chapter was very much appropriate for a prologue and to set up the story. It's like a small history of the set up and Ailan's Uncle Morrin. I hope you continue this, it seems interesting. It's very hard for me to find stories I like, and I'm more of a writer than a reader. (It's a sad truth)
Like I said though, this was appropriate for a prologue, and reminded me of the first episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, whenever the book opened and they were telling the story of Luna and Celestia. (Almost like the whole chapter was narrated.) (Btw, it was fun reading parts of it in Morgan Freeman's voice
)
Really liked this, can't wait for more
so is the doctor dr whooves? is this birth world? does he still have magic?
4886985
Spoilers.
awesome, can't wait for more
When is the next chapter? or is the story cold?
Morrin I ask of you, please reply!
Huh :/
So I wasn’t the first to use this title 🤔