We don't want to live for an eternity, we don't want to fight for an eternity, but we must. It is our calling, our curse. Our path and our duty to fight to protect those that are in need. We have slept for so long, and it is just the last o
Okay, this chapter is awesome. It's nice to see that Victor has a good first encounter so far and his interaction with the Princesses was friendly so far. Still, I wonder how he'd interact with AJ as she was interested in touching his muscles for some reason and she was blushing when he picked her up. Anyway, I liked this chapter and I hope the next one comes soon.
"Anypony wanna bet that it has a ray-gun that can freeze things? Or maybe it has death-ray like in those comic books that Time Turner gave me a few years ago!"
*Looks at the Glaxion* Well, yes. Also I wonder if the Nukor or Gammacor counts as more of a death ray.
7456468 Death Ray can mean a lot of things. It can be a Cannon, it can be a mounted weapon, or it can be a Pistol. Point is, Death Ray is a VERY Loose term for alien weapons, since it's what's fired from the weapon. Dunno where you got the idea that Death Rays are limited to Pistols, but they're not. If a Death Ray is slapped onto a Pistol, it's called a Blaster.
Sides, the Gammacore is too weak to be a Blaster of any kind, the Nukor is more fitting. Wonder how Spike and Dashie would react to Tenno Tech Weapons? Dashie would likely gain a liking for the Nikana Blade, as it's a light and very deadly weapon. Spike would likely be rather disappointed up until Victor Rhino pulls out a Corpus weapon, since those fit Spike's ideas of Sci-Fi Weapons.
Good chapter, aside from a few typos and grammar errors. Such as missing commas that could help with the pacing, and run-on sentences that could be broken down into multiple, smaller ones.
When Princess Luna refused to shake the aliens hand I watched Celestia nudge her sister in the ribs before mouthing to her to shake its hand, it is rude to ignore the alien's request and also might upset or even anger it. I rather not see it vaporize anypony because Luna was in a foul mood.
Understandable, but it is a little awkward and quotations would be more appropriate.
For example:
When Princess Luna refused to shake the aliens hand I watched Celestia nudge her sister in the ribs.
"Shake it's hand, it is rude to ignore the alien's request and also might upset or even anger it. I would rather not see it vaporize anypony because you are in a foul mood." she whispered quietly to her.
If what Spike wrote is true about this thing than it is easily stronger than an earth pony by several leagues, maybe even it isas stronger or even stronger than Princess Celestia herself.
"As strong", and the "it is" isn't necessary.
Now I know that writing something down is a key step for this procedure but sadly I have never written anything down before and I know for a fact that my handwriting will be terrible. In fact I know that all Tenno are lacking in varying parts in the education department due to us being trained to kill our enemies with our warframes...those that knew how to read or write were rare seeing how most of us were children with me and a few hundred others being an exception because we were older.
It is unknown what the Orokin's specific educational standards were, but it is very odd that a ship-full of adolescent children of a highly advanced civilization would consider basic reading or writing ability to be a rarity. This is emphasized by the fact that, as you stated, they were later trained by the Orokin to be living weapons after the void incident; wouldn't teaching them to read and write to better receive and understand orders or compile reports be a quintessential cornerstone of military training and competence? Even if the Tenno couldn't read or write very well before the incident or after their abuse, it is an imperative part of communication and, by extension, an effective organization. The Lotus should be encouraging those who do not have the knowledge to seek it out.
It is simply odd.
Again, good chapter. Some of the grammar and sentence structure could use some revising, but nothing major.
Pfft, yeah right. Welp! News flash, he can kill an equivalent of an army if he wanted to and it doesn't help that these guards are absolutely USELESS ezcept enforcing the law and guarding the princess.
Edit: also note the difference between there tech, while that doesn't mean one automatically win just cause they got superior weaponry, in this case however the technological gap between equestria and tenno is so large, I fail to see how one or two ponies could even beat a corpus in a straight up fight.
8424467 They could always do the good ol' drop a large rock on top of them from a sufficient height. Gravity + Boulder = Squished Corpus. Shields can only handle so much before giving out, but it cant handle being crushed under a heavy ass rock.
Okay, this chapter is awesome. It's nice to see that Victor has a good first encounter so far and his interaction with the Princesses was friendly so far. Still, I wonder how he'd interact with AJ as she was interested in touching his muscles for some reason and she was blushing when he picked her up. Anyway, I liked this chapter and I hope the next one comes soon.
*Looks at the Glaxion*
Well, yes. Also I wonder if the Nukor or Gammacor counts as more of a death ray.
I hope they do fix that language barrier in the next chapter.
7456193 That would be the Opticor. The Glaxion was the first weapon on my mind as well, but you beat me to it.
Wonder when are they gonna remove the language barrier?
7456415
Nah, the opticor is the handheld space cannon of destruction, not a death ray. Death rays are usually more pistol like and vaporize things.
7456468 Death Ray can mean a lot of things. It can be a Cannon, it can be a mounted weapon, or it can be a Pistol. Point is, Death Ray is a VERY Loose term for alien weapons, since it's what's fired from the weapon. Dunno where you got the idea that Death Rays are limited to Pistols, but they're not. If a Death Ray is slapped onto a Pistol, it's called a Blaster.
Sides, the Gammacore is too weak to be a Blaster of any kind, the Nukor is more fitting. Wonder how Spike and Dashie would react to Tenno Tech Weapons? Dashie would likely gain a liking for the Nikana Blade, as it's a light and very deadly weapon. Spike would likely be rather disappointed up until Victor Rhino pulls out a Corpus weapon, since those fit Spike's ideas of Sci-Fi Weapons.
Another awesome chapter cant wait for the next one
next chapter please
BANTER
Good chapter, aside from a few typos and grammar errors. Such as missing commas that could help with the pacing, and run-on sentences that could be broken down into multiple, smaller ones.
Understandable, but it is a little awkward and quotations would be more appropriate.
For example:
"As strong", and the "it is" isn't necessary.
It is unknown what the Orokin's specific educational standards were, but it is very odd that a ship-full of adolescent children of a highly advanced civilization would consider basic reading or writing ability to be a rarity. This is emphasized by the fact that, as you stated, they were later trained by the Orokin to be living weapons after the void incident; wouldn't teaching them to read and write to better receive and understand orders or compile reports be a quintessential cornerstone of military training and competence? Even if the Tenno couldn't read or write very well before the incident or after their abuse, it is an imperative part of communication and, by extension, an effective organization. The Lotus should be encouraging those who do not have the knowledge to seek it out.
It is simply odd.
Again, good chapter. Some of the grammar and sentence structure could use some revising, but nothing major.
Yea good luck with that shining.
I like it
I'm a bit iffy with using some common phrases, but Warframe's lore gives us a free pass and a decent amount of creative freedom.
7459015 Aaaww that's adorable, Shining thinks he can kill a warframe
... W-Wait, is shining serious? PFFFTBWAHA... You Dead' Mate- Tenno f*** yo sh#t up.
Shining killing a tenno?.
Pfft, yeah right. Welp! News flash, he can kill an equivalent of an army if he wanted to and it doesn't help that these guards are absolutely USELESS ezcept enforcing the law and guarding the princess.
Edit: also note the difference between there tech, while that doesn't mean one automatically win just cause they got superior weaponry, in this case however the technological gap between equestria and tenno is so large, I fail to see how one or two ponies could even beat a corpus in a straight up fight.
8424467 They could always do the good ol' drop a large rock on top of them from a sufficient height. Gravity + Boulder = Squished Corpus. Shields can only handle so much before giving out, but it cant handle being crushed under a heavy ass rock.
AS IF YOU COULD!!!