My English is fatal, soon shall begin to take lessons. thanks for reading.

Contact me if you are interested in vecion Spanish.

OK the last chapter was way cleaner feeling at least i suggest asking the community out here to see if theirs a someone who wouldn't mind cleaning it up cause i like the idea of the story (cause im a horrible horrible person going to pony hell) but as it is its pretty much unreadable; also, use their names don't do the parentheses thing it just makes things that much worse

o im going to be brutal here the first chapter made more scence than the second chapter, you should just stick with the first chapters layout, cause having it ike that for the 2nd is way too confusing.

3 words what the f**k is this I just cant read it please reformat

958887 ok I was way to harsh I understand putting initials instead of name when you are writing it but you need to put the names in before you release it please reformat it & republish it is a good story with a good concept