• Member Since 9th Aug, 2013
  • offline last seen Apr 6th, 2019

theGrizz


i am a lover of mlp-fim and a fan of other Popular shows. like to write an read

T

when Diamond Tiara insults Scootaloos mother, Scootaloo snaps. with Rainbow Dash by her side the past is revealed.


this story is dedicated to one of the people in my life the really changed it, Sarah Noga.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 42 )

It was good. I saw a lot of spelling mistakes and the pacing seemed a little.. "Off" at some parts. But it was a interesting story and definitely gave me feels.. Good job!

'Feal' is spelt 'feel'

i could tell this was a first fan fic i wrote one liek this earlier yesterday as my first

i just re edited
:heart: AlWAYS
the Grizz

I luv it...
A little bit rushed but I shouldn't say anything.

Great story :twilightsmile:

:fluttershyouch: I loved it. Getting a good editor is my only advice.

Now excuse me while I sob in the corner for a good half an hour and re-think my life.

"Uhh no, cant say i have. Not since i saw her beating the heck out of Diamond, she had whats commin' for her "

:ajbemused: Really.
:ajbemused: Beating up and possibly crippling her is deserved after all she ever did was verbal? Wow, that is some progressive and sensible justice.

I am unilaterally against physical fights because of bullying. Especially ones like this, where the loser is completely helpless. I am very disappointing at the fact that none of the other students even tried to break them up. Overall, this seems OOC for everyone, not just Scootaloo.

3018383
Universal law of humanity (and ponykind): Don't talk shit if you ain't prepared to throw down. :rainbowdetermined2::twilightangry2::flutterrage::moustache:

OT: Should definitely get an editor to have a look at this. It's got potential to be good, but the technical problems are way too rampant to ignore.

3018383
Personally, I'm more disappointed in adults like you who tell kids to try to be friends with people like Diamond, or tell them to simply ignore them they'll go away.

And Diamond isn't crippled>.< She got her tail handed to her when she went to far. Mind you, I'm not saying Scootaloo shouldn't be punished. Fighting is against the rules.

3018516 :facehoof:I didn't say to ignore her. I didn't say to try to be friends with her. Scootaloo should have gotten Cheerilee to make Diamond leave her alive.
I SAID THAT ATTACKING HER WAS OUTRAGEOUS!

You really need to edit this. You've had "toughs" when it should've been "those", nevermind a ton of other spelling mistakes and capitalization problems. Even if you don't find an editor right away, you should run things through a spellchecker.

Look at this for example:

"GET OVER YOUR SELF!! and being called a Filly Fooler doesn't effect me" Turing around , kissing Apple Jack who was holding Rainbow Dash back. AJ just went with it, they did like each other after all.

Rainbow Dash then Rushed out side, making sure to slam the door behide her. she then proceeded to fly to the toP of the building

the very to corner.she thought that she might look like a gargoyle but she didn't care she needed to cool down.

Scootaloo sat up, beating her own wings as fast as she could, know wonder RD liked flying so much this is so fun.

I thought i was bad at grammar...

SERIOUSLY?
Know instead of no?
And the sentence is compleatly off....

You should have split it up more.
Like this?

Scootaloo sat up, beating her own wings as fast as she could. No wonder RD liked flying so much, this is so fun!

Sorry for being a douchebag but its sad really.
Its a great story, but the grammar is horribly off even for me:facehoof:

Ok...
I CAN'T READ THIS.
IM SORRY.

You SEEEERIOUSLY
need a editor or a proof-reader.
Like... really.
IF you don't find any, I volunteer.
If you have one...
Get his ass to a working manner!:twilightangry2:

Since I see the grammar thing was stressed ill just say its a good story and can't wait to read the rest

Not bad. Grammar needs some serious work, but other then that not bad! Nice to see Scoots finally stand up for herself.

3018383 Honestly, what DT said to Scoots (ad all the hell she's put the CMC through over the years) probably hurt a helluva lot worse the what Scootaloo did to her.

3070509 Maybe, but I for one would rather have all of those insults than get badly injured.

Comment posted by Youcannoterasethepast deleted Oct 13th, 2013

3161391 you want more, i am working on chapter 3

Yay the story is back

Sorry to go grammar nazi but your grammar is just horrible. Just the amount of errors is painful but I powered through.

If any one would like to be my editor, go ahead.

3341928 I could be up for it. Buut... I can only fix big letters, fixing a few words...
It would become a bit more cleaned up, but not totally clean and pure.
Tell me IF you would like my help.

I would not be the best, but I would be better then nothing.

otherwise...

I love the story :rainbowkiss:

3346322 yeah i am up for it. It would help me allot.

3346433 Goodie...
Sent ya a PM woth some details.

I re-edited the first chapter if any one wants to re look it

spelling mistakes but still so awesome:rainbowkiss: it made me laugh when diamond got what she deserved:scootangel:

Wow this story is amazing.
:flutterrage:MOAR:flutterrage:

"YOU. FUCKING. SELFISH. PEACE. OF. SHIT. WHY. DONT. YOU. BURN. IN. HEL-" In between whips

ok i want to kill that unicorn.... :pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy::pinkiecrazy: still good chapter

shit, scoots mom is a bitch. seriously.

and update!!!! its been months bro! MONTHS!!!:twilightangry2:

Comment posted by Rainbow sweet 13 deleted May 30th, 2015

Dude her mums a fucking cunt

So i Just Logged in to this account for the first time in years, I havent re read the fic yet but i just wanted to put this out here.

I WAS 12 YEARS OLD WHEN I PUBLISHED THE FIRST FIC!

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