The day was as beautiful as it was young. The sun rose quietly, creating a dazzling array of colors; one would be awed by the indigo, violet, and golden hues created by the morning light. A beautiful dim light shone across a slumbering Ponyville, allowing all who were awake to see it’s elegant glory.
The light slowly bled into the windows of Sugarcube Corner as the day began. The velvet curtains doing little to nothing shield Pinkie Pie’s eyes from the incoming sunshine. She attempted to fight the sensation of awareness, but it was a losing battle. She had to make due with the little rest she had been able to obtain.
It was time to wake up.
Pinkie Pie hesitantly moved from the loving embrace of the warm blanket wrapped around her. She stretched her legs and neck in a simple daily ritual that gave her some of what little contentedness she still had in her life.
Pinkie slowly trotted to her mirror, something that showed her what little life was left in her now dark and gloomy room. She looked at the mirror, seeing a curious, rusty little nail that held up the heavy artefact. How could something so old and worn out hold so much weight?
She pondered her question as she looked deeply at her reflection. What she saw was not the happy pink earth pony she once knew. Sure, on the surface she was the same, vibrant party pony. But inside, there was nothing but an empty shell of the pony she had been her whole life, and eyes worn from years without rest.
Why are you doing this…? She thought to herself. You have to stop doing this, Pinkie, you’re gonna run yourself into the ground.
She looked deeply at the plain, brown door before her. It was the one thing that she had left to hide her secrets from the outside world. She looked at the portal in fear for what felt like an eternity, interrupted only by the sudden knock coming from the other side.
“Are you awake yet, Pinkie?” The warm, comforting voice of her surrogate mother rang in Pinkie’s ears. Her voice had gotten rhaspy with age, but she still had the same warm, loving tone that she had on the day that they had first met. She’s lived with the Cakes for so long, she loved all of them more than any other pony in the world, including herself.
Especially herself.
“Just one tinsie-winsie minuet, Mrs. Cake!” The words echoed heavily in Pinkie Pie’s mind. She knew she couldn’t keep up her charade for much longer.
She was so tired, so ... lonely.
Sure she had friends, but none of them were ever really close. She might as well not have any friends at all.
“Hurry up in there, Pinkie!” Pinkie Pie listened as the calm, mother-like voice receded into the distance. “Me and
Carrot are making a delivery to Canterlot, so help Pound and Carrot set up shop!”
Just remember Pinkie, She thought to herself one last time before leaving the dark, dusty room, smile. Smile and everypony will be happy! She began to get discouraged. Right?
She sighed, then proceeded to walk out of the gateway that showed her as nothing more than the pink party pony that she used to be.
Pinkie Pie slowly wandered down the hallway, as she did every morning for years now. The paint had been done several times over, and the current shade of sky blue eased her mind, but the feeling soon passed.
Smile. Just smile and everything will be all right. She tried with everything she had to force a smile. A smile that was empty and meaningless as she felt her life to be. But at least it made others smile. She tried not to cry.
The floorboards creaked underneath her hooves, showing off their age, the same with the stairs. Such old structures, how were they still able to hold up the weight of entire ponies, when they’d been through so much? Pinkie Pie could relate.
She walked into the kitchen to see a unicorn filly and a pegasus colt starting a food fight.
“I’m gonna get you!” yelled Pumpkin, playfully tossing a freshly made blueberry pie at her twin brother. “There’s no way you’re getting away from this one!”
“Oh, yah! Well I-” Pound was quickly silenced by the force of a pie hitting him in the face. He quickly recovered and armed himself with a cake to retaliate. “Yah, well taste THIS!”
The two shared an enraged stare. Anger quickly transitioned into awkwardness and fear as they saw their older sister looking down at them. For some reason, she carried the same quirky smile she had every day.
“What are you two doing?” Pinkie stated, her comical expression varying greatly from her stern tone.
She started to shake, thinking to herself. Just keep smiling, Pinkie, please keep smiling.
The two were concerned for their sister. She seemed so... off today.
Pound was the first to break the silence. “Ummm, Pinkie, are you alright?”
Pinkie Pie began to twitch fiercely, buckling under a false expression of joy.
Please. Keep everypony happy...
“Pinkie?” This time, he was much more concerned.
Pinkie Pie started to choke in an attempt to speak, but the only thing she could let out were bitter tears.
All of her hardship, her pain, her sadness, every bit of her repressed self being unleashed before the terrified eyes her beloved siblings. But she could not stop her tears, nothing could.
She was far too tired.
“Umm, ummm...” Pumpkin held her sister’s hoof in an attempt to comfort her, but she soon felt tears welling in her eyes as well. Her brother was soon to join her.
Please, smile...
Pinkie’s heart wrenched.
Literally.
Pound and Pumpkin Cake watched in pure terror as their sister collapsed. They had no idea what to do.
“Mom! Dad!”
Smile, make everypony happy, I beg you... the same, repeating thought faded as Pinkie Pie slipped into unconsciousness...
One could swear they heard the sound of shattering glass.
Great!
Seems interesting. I think I will follow.
so sad, but good. I'll be following this one.
This is so cool! I really want to read more, please? I mean, you can't say no to... this face!
I like the idea, but you lose the impact of the emotion by being too vague.
This is the core of Pinkie Pie's being--her connection with her friends. I have resonated with Pinkie Pie in nearly every aspect of her personality. (the only thing we don't share other than me not being a magical talking horse and not female, is her incredible memory) you need to delve deeper into what it is that is so fake with her friends. Take specifics, make logical arguments. You need to really sell it, that she has truly figured out that she has nothing left. It will hit much harder if you do.
Great story, you're really creative!
I noticed a grammar mistake in this sentence though:
"A beautiful dim light shone across a slumbering Ponyville, allowing all who were awake to see it’s elegant glory."
it's should be its.
But besides that, excellent!
*likes*
3004624 Nuts, that's what I get for editing while half asleep .
Told ya it was good
3004936
Every time you do that, a baby cries.
I'm so happy!
Why so short? I want more!
Hmm...
Hi I'm new...how do you read the stories..? Do you download them??
3006021 Well, there should be a link to each chapter of a story right under the story's description
3006029 thanks
3006029 i dont see it :(
3006043 It's the green text, it reads the chapter title.
In this case, it's named 'time to rest'
3006051 THANK YOU SO MUCH :D
You should continue it...i wanna know why she was sick of herself.... Otherwise, it was AWESOME!!!
This is a good start. But 3004499 is right, we need more depth. I totally buy that Pinkie could become a really depressed pony, even with all of her friends, but you need to expand. Especially if everypony thinks that everything's fine and she's as good as ever. Certainly Twilight thinks she knows pinkie, and Fluttershy, etc. And if the reveal is that they don't, because she's hiding things (or hiding her sadness), that's cool too.
In other words, Moar, but Moar detail.
.... but yes, a very good start.
Cautious Optimism.... here we go again.
thank you thank you thank u u need no have to continue or i will go crazy
i.imgur.com/84EFhkA.gif
3004624 I think that it's not a mistake, are you sure? I don't see any evidence of it being wrong. Just so you know, in case you didn't;
the apostrophe is used in which to define ownership of a specific person or thing. This author is claiming that it belongs to the light, example;
The light's warmth.
Understand? Unless i'm missing something, then I don't think it is a mistake.
This story is great, but it needs more detail. I enjoyed it! Moustache.
3009956
While I'm not that skilled at grammar myself, I pretty sure "its" is the right way to word it. "It's" stands for "it is" or "it has" so saying "to see it is elegant glory" or "to see it has elegant glory" doesn't make sense.
3010236 It's also can mean ownership, like I said before. I'll explain for you, but i'm not much of an expert at it either. Learnt it in fifth grade, ages ago.
It's can mean one person or thing; the bird's house.
Or, if it's multiple things at once; the birds' house, saying as in a group.
I'm bad at explaining, but it's the best I can do.
3010606 For ownership the proper form is its with no apostrophe.
Interesting. Looks like it has some great potential. Eager for the next update!
3011025 ...I don't get it.
If your an expert, please teach me dear master.
3015130 The difference is:
- one is a contraction of two words, it is -> it's, with the apostrophe used to denote the missing letters and space. [It is going to rain. -> It's going to rain.]
- the other is a single word possessive pronoun used to denote ownership, its, just like the words his, and hers. [The dog ate its food.]
Confusing the two usages is a common mistake (and I thank my editor every time they point it out to me) because of the common association of the use of 's always denoting ownership. In this case there is an exception to that rule.
3015186 So... I'm right and I'm wrong?
That's OOOONNEE bad panic attack.
I really, really, really like this so far. Very intriguing!
A couple corrections:
"She had to make due" - make do
"Her voice had gotten rhaspy with age," - raspy
“Just one tinsie-winsie minuet, Mrs. Cake!” - teensy weensy; minute (unless this was intentional, but would still be out of place)