Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior have a "Calm" Discussion while they walk to the Canterlot Gardens. They are still shouting, but they talk about their lives.
Snowflame: So then Snowflame was thrown into his tool shed which exploded, and those stupid people who thought they were heroes thought I was dead, but instead I escaped and rented a room with some comic nerd before coming here.
Ultimate Warrior: I had to travel the plains of Destrucity to take back my body or something, It wasn't very clear. I have defeated the Iron Sheik and Macho Man Randy Savage, but I have yet to take out the main entre on the menu of life's kitchen, HOKE HOGAN!!!!
Snowflame: Snowflame gets the feeling that you really hate that guy
Ultimate Warrior: The Warrior loathes every fiber of his balding being. He is the salt to my pepper, the Splenda to my Sugar, the Yoko to my Ono, and I will defeat him once I am worthy.
Snowflame: Snowflame wishes he had an arch enemy, but all Snowflame got was D list hackers (Sigh)
Ultimate Warrior: Do not worry, the Warrior will make you feel needed once he rip and tears, RIP AND TEARS YOUR GUTS!!!
Snowflame: (Smiles) Thanks, I needed to hear that
Ultimate Warrior: No problem!
" So then Snowflame was thrown into his tool shed which exploded, and those stupid people who thought they were heroes thought Snowflame was dead, but instead Snowflame escaped and rented a room with some comic nerd before coming here. Now Snowflame lives with some lesbian ponies." Snowflame said to The Ultimate Warrior while they walked to a new battlefield.
"I had to travel the plains of Destrucity to take back my body or something, It wasn't very clear. I have defeated the Iron Sheik and Macho Man Randy Savage, but I have yet to take out the main entre on the menu of life's kitchen, HOKE HOGAN!!!!" The Ultimate Warrior shouted.
"Snowflame gets the feeling that you really hate that guy."
"The Warrior loathes every fiber of his balding being. He is the salt to my pepper, the Splenda to my Sugar, the Yoko to my Ono, and I will defeat him once I am worthy."
"Snowflame wishes he had an arch enemy, but all Snowflame got was D list hackers *Sigh*"
"Do not worry, the Warrior will make you feel needed once he rip and tears, RIP AND TEARS YOUR GUTS!!!"
Snowflame smiles and says. "Thanks, Snowflame needed to hear that."
"No problem!"
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Meanwhile in Discord's Room...
Back in Discord's Room, Celestia is trying to revive Discord with mouth to mouth while Luna and her guards stare slack jawed at the Space Ship. Eventually Discord awakens and pulls Celestia into a cheap kiss with tongue, like Squints from the Sandlot and she gets pissed.
Discord: Why Tia, I didn't know you cared? (Shit eating Grin)
Celestia: You Pervet!!!
She slaps him then asks what happened before there is what sounds like extremely loud thunder...
Discord was passed out on the floor so Princess Celestia when she saw him instantly reacted and was trying to revive him with some CPR.
While this was happening, Princess Luna was just staring in awe of the mysterious ship sitting it the middle of the room.
Discords eye opened as Celestia was preforming mouth to mouth, and put this paw on the back of her head, pulling her into a cheap kiss.
Celestia pulls away and Discord says, "Why Tia, I didn't know you cared?" with a huge shit eating grin on his face.
"You Pervert!" Celestia shouts at him, before slapping him in the face.
Discord rubs the cheek that was his and mutters, "Meh, it was worth it."
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In the Canterlot Gardens...
OH THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!
Snowflame: You have the power of cocaine on your side. So this should be easy.
Either way.
Punch Warrior in the face, establish superiority.
They make it to the gardens where they face each other.
Snowflame: Alright, who goes first?
Ultimate Warrior: The Warrior usually lets the fates of Destrucity decide and just rides the waves like chocolate pudding in the chill freezer of life
Snowflame: That sounds delicious, but I really want to fight now, soooo....
He Punches the Warrior in the face hard and sends him flying into the hedge maze, Snowflame feels disappointed because he expected more but the Warrior rushes out quickly and busts Snowflame in the jaw and sends him flying back.
Ultimate Warrior: YOU WILL NEED MORE THAN THAT TO BRING DOWN THIS PARADE OF PINK ELEPHANTS.
Snowflame wipes blood from his lip and smiles. This is gonna be a good fight
Snowflame: FEEL THE BURN OF THE WHITE GOD OF ECSTACY!!!!
They Rush each other and begin an epic fight which consist of Wrestling Moves on steroids, including pile drivers, Irish Whips, and hitting eachother with outdoor equipment. Their punches cause shockwaves that break the glass in the palace and keep the gaurds or the Princesses from stopping them. Discord Just watches with 3D glasses and a bowl of popcorn.
Their blows force them into the air past the outskirts of Cloudsdale where Spitfire and Soarin are getting married. Snowflame see's Rainbow Dash and yells
"Hi Rainbow Pony" before he and the Warrior fall back through the clouds punching each other the whole way down.
Rainbow Dash (Still in her Red Dress) is like "What the Hay?" and flies down to see whats going on.
The combatants land in the middle of Canterlot where they crash into Vinyl Scratch's party and fight in the neon lights. They also crash into Donut Joes and other places with Rainbow Dash, Celestia, and Luna trying to get them to stop the whole time. Eventually they crash into train station where the rest of the Mane 6, along with Derpy and "Time Turner" arrive and witness their battle.
Celestia: Oh thank goodness you girls are here, I can't get them to stop
The Girl's are speechless on two accounts, 1. The titanic fight occurring and 2....
Twilight: Rainbow Dash, are you wearing a dress?
She Blushes Immensely
Pinkie Pie: Of course, Rainbow Dash always dresses in style
Rainbow Dash: Shut up, we have to stop them
Luna: Yes, make fun of your friend later
Twilight: Oh, right!
They rush after the fighters leaving "Time Turner" and Derpy behind
"Time Turner": Why are we hear again? (Afraid)
Derpy: Ummm, we have to pick up a blue box that belongs to us and bring it back before anything happens.
"Time Turner": What you mean that one (He points at the TARDIS that is five feet away)
Derpy: Well that's convenient
They load it on the train and get out of their because neither want to be around for the conclusion to the fight.
Eventually the fight crashes back right to where it started at the Castle. Both Snowflame and the Warrior are exhausted since they are equally matched, and they go for one final punch each
Snowflame: COCAINE!!!!
Ultimate Warrior: DESTRUCITY!!!!
They each punch each other right between the eyes at the same time, causing a gigantic crater to form in the middle of the throne room, and both are K.O.'D
Everypony is speechless, except Discord who calls for an encore. Luckily during the whole fight, nopony was hurt.
Also, Raining Blood by Slayer should be playing while they fight
"Alright, who goes first?" Snowflame asked.
"The Warrior usually lets the fates of Destrucity decide and just rides the waves like chocolate pudding in the chill freezer of life." The Ultimate Warrior responded.
"That sounds delicious, but I really want to fight now, soooo...." He runs at the Warrior and punches him right in the face, sending him flying into the hedge maze. "Snowflame feels disappointed, he expected more from you."
Then, the Warrior rushes out quickly and busts Snowflame in the jaw and sends him flying back.
"YOU WILL NEED MORE THAN THAT TO BRING DOWN THIS PARADE OF PINK ELEPHANTS!!!!" The Warrior shouts.
Snowflame wipes blood from his lip and smiles, "FEEL THE BURN OF THE WHITE GOD OF ECSTACY!!!!"
They Rush each other and lock each others hands in a test of strength, nether side budging. Snowflame seeing this took a deep breath through his nose and exhaled though his mouth, blowing white flames in the Warrior's face. The Warrior let go of Snoeflame's hands to put out the fire on his face.
"Huh, Snowflame is surprised that worked." The cocaine fueled super villain said.
The next thing Snowflame knew The Warrior had ran at Snowflame with his left arm out, knocking him down with a clothesline.
Snowflame jumped back up only to have to duck under another clothesline, he then grabbed the Warriors arms and irish whipped him into a nearby statue of Roboguard.
The head of the statue falls off and The Warrior catches it, only to throw it right at Snowflame.
Snowflame throws a ball of fire at the statue head and when they collide there's an explosion of marble.
The Warrior hits Snowflame right in the jaw with a running kick. Snowflame is sent flying in the air.
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Meanwhile in Cloudsdale...
Two pegasi, one a light blue stallion with a dark blue mane wearing a suit, the other a yellow mare with a orange mane wearing a white dress wear standing at an alter.
In the rows of seats nearby Rainbow Dash was sitting in her red gala dress, thinking to herself, 'Oh my gosh! One, I can't believe that Soarin and Spitfire are actually getting married, which making this the first time ever that two Wonderbolts did so, but also that I got invited to a Wonderbolt wedding! Though once I join the Wonderbolts, I can't be in a relationship. I ain't got no time for that. Yet, that fortune teller Rarity made me talk to said I would marry a unicorn. Not to sound racist, but I can't see that happening in any possible way.'
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Meanwhile in a Alternet Universe...
Two unicorns and an alicorn were walking in the ruins of Canterlot when one of them, a black unicorn stallion with a purple mane turned his head and looked around.
"Is something wrong Seth?" the alicorn asked him.
"I don't know, I just got a weird feeling for a second there." He responded.
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Then out of nowhere, Snowflame flew through the cloud floor, "Hi Rainbow Pony!" he says before he lands on one of the walls and uses it to springboard down through the clouds.
Rainbow Dash exclaims "What the Hay?" and flies down to see whats going on.
Snowflame uses the momentum from his free fall to charge up a punch than when he returned to the ground he hits the Warrior right it the face, the sound of the impact was so loud, it could be heard all throughout Equestria.
The Ultimate Warrior is sent flying thought several buildings, including a coffee shop, toy store, sex shop, and finally he landed inside of a night club wear Vinyl Scratch was performing so of her new music.
The Warrior sits up to see Snowflame stepping through the hole that the Warrior left in the wall.
"Do you think that will end The Warrior? When I am done with you you'll be erased from history like Chris Beniot!" The Ultimate Warrior shouts.
"Oh Snowflame is just getting started." Snowflame responds.
Snowflame rushes at The Warrior and they just start exchanging blows. Throughout the club, the ponies in said club seemed to ignored them and continued to do whatever it was that they were doing.
The Warrior ended up pushing Snowflame against one of the walls, stepped back a bit and then booted him in the face, sending him through the wall, and into another building, this one a doughnut shop.
Snowflame came back out eating a bearclaw, when he rushed at The Warrior, grabbed onto him, and just ran through any building that happened to be in the way, till they reached the train station. When they ran in front of a speeding train. The train hit them full force, sending them both flying.
At that time once the train stopped 6 mares and a stallion stepped off.
"Okay girls lets find Princess Celestia." Twilight said to the her friends.
"Ummm... Ditzy, why are we here?" "Time Turner" asked.
"We need to pick up a blue box we left at the castle." Ditzy answered.
"We've been to the Castle?"
"Yeah, we know the Princesses."
"We do?"
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The two fighters landed back were the battle started, the Castle, the throne room to be more precise, both on their feet, despite crashing through the roof.
They then both run at each other, ready to get the final hit on the other.
"COCAINE!" Snowflame shouts.
"DESTRUCITY!" The Ultimate Warrior shouts back.
They each punch each other right between the eyes at the same time, causing a huge hockwave, when the dust clears there is a gigantic crater to form in the middle of the throne room, and both of the combatants are knocked out, laying on the ground.
That's when the Princesses walk in and their mouths just drop.
Discord comes in not soon after and goes, "Aaawwww, I missed something fun.
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Meanwhile in the Wacky Snack...
Zant: Aren't your meds wearing off right about.... now.
And Back at the Loony Bin, Blueblood saw the Hairless Ape battling another one and the destruction it was causing and felt his blood chill. He also tried to get the staff and others to look out the window and see, but Zant went off his medication and was causing a crazy distraction with multiple moodswings. So they ignored him
Blueblood looked at Zant who just started laughing in a creepy way.
"Get them out get them out! I feel them swarming around inside my skull! Just like butterflies. Pretty colorful butterflies. Blue ones, green ones, yellow and red, the color of blood. Warm, tasty blood. Everyone's always staring at me. Why do they stare? Oh my Celestia somepony turned the world upside down! I'm a little bunny-rabbit. I never wanted to be an evil overlord, I just wanted to be a dancer."
"What?" Blueblood asked.
"This is all your fault!"
"Ah! Don't break me in half!"
"Why would I? You already broke my heart!" Zant then started to cry, "LIMBO TIME!"
"I'm scared."
Awesome Fight
The Mane 6, Derpy, and "Time Turner" all travel to the castle seeing a few buildings in disarray with Ponies looking disheveled.
Twilight: Oh No, the aliens must have done this, we have to get to the Princesses Immediately.
Applejack: Why would aliens only attack the doughnut shop, the dance club, and that store with all the unmentionables in it?
Derpy: (Whispers) And there are still ponies alive, so that means it's not the Daleks or Cyberponies
"Time Turner": You say something dear?
Derpy: Nope
Pinkie Pie: Maybe they got drunk, hungry and horny and they don't know how to open doors?
Fluttershy: (Just blushes at the scene that forms in her head)
Rarity: Pinkamena Diane Pie, Such Language!
Pinkie Pie: Hey, it could happen
Applejack: That's just as likely as Rainbow Dash wearing a frilly dress in public
(Rainbow Dash in said dress flies to them)
Rainbow Dash: Girls! Thank Celestia you're here, Snowflame and another monkey thing like him were just fighting.
All the others stare with their mouths open
Applejack: OK, I stand corrected Pinkie
Pinkie Pie: Told ya so, plus Rainbow Dash always dresses in style!
(Dash realizes that she's still dressed up and blushes angrily)
Rainbow Dash: Forget about that right now, Snowflame and the other ape went flying into the Castle.
Twilight: OH No, Double Time it Girls
They arrive at the Throne Room where Celestia, Discord, and Luna are still standing over the two unconscious humans.
Twilight: Princess Celestia what happened? Is Snowflame OK? And where are the aliens?
Celestia: Well we believe that this other human is the entity that flew the ship
Twilight: How can you know for sure?
Discord: Seeing as how it crashed on my head as soon as your pet monkey entered, and now he's unconscious next to this thing, I'd say it's a good guess.
Twilight: Oh...Are you alright?
Discord: I'm never alright, but apparently the chicks love head injuries and will give you sugar to help soothe the pain, isn't that right Tia?
Celestia: Discord! (threateningly)
Twilight: Ummmmm....OK
Pinkie Pie: He's right you know, Sugar always makes my owies go away Oh, what's Luna doing to Snowflame and the other human?
Celestia: She's trying to access their minds while they are asleep and find out exactly what is going on, it's safer this way seeing the damage they've caused.
Rainbow Dash: Oh, well can we look at the ship while she works?
Twilight: Yes, I'd like to see it as well
Celestia: Of course My Little Ponies (Snowflame Snorts in his sleep at that sentence) Discord, take them back to your room, and no funny business, got it?
Discord: Of course not, I know you'd want me to save that for you later tonight right?
Celestia: (Blushing) Just go!
Applejack: (Whispers to Rarity) Wonder what's going on with them
Rarity: Well it's none of our business, a Lady never pries
Rainbow Dash: I bet you Ten Bits they're doing it
Shocked faces on the girls appear
(As they go, she pulls Pinkie aside for a moment)
Pinkie Pie: What's up Princess?
Celestia: Snowflame told me that an Assassin was left in your care, where is he now?
Pinkie: Oh Obie? Ya, he was hired to kill Snowfie until he got knocked out, now he's running shop at Sugar Cube Corner, he's really nice once you get to know him
Celestia: And you feel he is able to be reformed?
Pinkie: Of course, plus he's a great baker
Back at SugarCube Corner
Obito: Oh Celestia, how do I make a chocolate mousse?!!! (Panicking)
Celestia: Alright, but I will personally speak with him once this matter with Snowflame is cleared up.
Pinkie: Okie Dokie Lokie (and she bounces off)
Celesia sighs then looks out the window where the Doctor and Derpy are at the TARDIS.
Celestia: Oh Good, the Doctor is here, we'll see what he knows (She walks to the gardens to speak with them)
Meanwhile: Luna is in the shared Dreamscape of Snowflame and the Warrior, and it is pretty trippy with memories of wrestling, doing drugs, and fighting interdementional beings. They had one shared memory of an angry human in a brown hat and jacket reading comic books that seemed to be their only connecting source. She eventually delves further and finds both of them sitting around a chessboard with top hats and monocles and cups of tea.
Snowflame: And Snowflame said, that's not a duck! (both laugh)
Warrior: My good sir, that is the best opening segway for outside observers to enter, for they have no idea what is going on, and we can pretend that we do!
Snowflame: True True!
Luna: (Stunned)
Snowflame: Oh Hai MoonButt, would you care for some tea?
Warrior: It's good for your tongue as well as your liver and kidneys!
Luna: Very well then, I have questions for you two
Snowflame: Oh thank Cocaine, none of us know how to play chess anyway
Warrior: How can you not be kinged? There are kings on that battleground?
Luna thinks this is going to be a long session.
And back at the Happy Home. Anger Management sessions have started and Blueblood, Zant, Disco Dance, and Screw Loose tell their anger problems.
.....
I got nothing...
Also you spelled "Alternate" wrong.