Twilight had a younger brother that went missing 17 years ago after she moved in with Celestia. Now 7 years after she met her friends and brought back Princess Luna she's gonna get one big surprise.
I sincerely hope that English is not your first language. Your grammar is atrocious and your spelling is WAY off. You need to learn the concept of the apostrophe and learn the meanings of words. 'Too' means 'also' or 'as well' and not a single one, NOT ONE of your abbreviations have apostrophes. Your sentences are rushed and far too long. You REALLY need to go back and review your whole story. It is just barely good enough to keep me interested. Your work could be really good if you fix these errors. I'll give you a Like, once you have made the corrections, and I'll also tell my friends about it (just a bit of friendly incentive). :)
When I got to the song part and pressed play, I imagined Cadence singing the first part with that guys voice.
Also, I'm stopping here for tonight seeing as I meant to stop at the first chapter and continue tomorrow but instead I kept going; reading for me is like gaming for others: you say you'll get off in 5 minutes or once you reach the next save point and you end up continuing for hours w/o realizing it.
"No he's just confused and upset. Just give him time to calm down." She said as she helped her to her house. Twilight looked down the road as she saw her brother's lights go off.
How in the seven circles of hell is he even remotely confused at the whole situation?
I wanted to see some butt kicking!
2983312 sorry but don't worry the chap after the next will have some in it I promise
WE DEMAND MORE FROM YOU STORY FAN FIC WRITER!!
THY FANFIC WRITER WE DEMAND TO SEE MORE OF THY STORY WE ARE ENJOYING THOU'S STORY SO FAR PLEASE OUR LOYAL SUBEJECT MAKE MORE.
Bro stories cool but why did you use my name as a style of ningitsu?
All these grammar mistakes, ugh..
Anyway, love the story
I sincerely hope that English is not your first language. Your grammar is atrocious and your spelling is WAY off. You need to learn the concept of the apostrophe and learn the meanings of words. 'Too' means 'also' or 'as well' and not a single one, NOT ONE of your abbreviations have apostrophes. Your sentences are rushed and far too long. You REALLY need to go back and review your whole story. It is just barely good enough to keep me interested. Your work could be really good if you fix these errors. I'll give you a Like, once you have made the corrections, and I'll also tell my friends about it (just a bit of friendly incentive). :)
When I got to the song part and pressed play, I imagined Cadence singing the first part with that guys voice.
Also, I'm stopping here for tonight seeing as I meant to stop at the first chapter and continue tomorrow but instead I kept going; reading for me is like gaming for others: you say you'll get off in 5 minutes or once you reach the next save point and you end up continuing for hours w/o realizing it.
How in the seven circles of hell is he even remotely confused at the whole situation?
8349465
I think it’s a standard saying to make her feel better I doubt she actually believes it.