The painting shuddered, then slid from it's place on the wall, revealing a hole that led downwards into the castle. Rarity thrust a hoof in it's direction.
"It's" is the contraction of "it is." The possessive pronoun is spelled "its", without an apostrophe.
Also, there are some paragraph-spacing issues (it looks like an extra line didn't get inserted in between some of the lines of dialogue like it was supposed to be), and some missing quote marks around the beginning or ending of dialogue.
Oh, and the word you want (in multiple chapters) is "straight", not "strait." A "strait" is a narrow channel that connects two larger bodies of water.
Oh, boy... If Shining does anything, I have a feeling he's going to regret it, because... well, Cadance, of course. That considered, I hope he somehow hears about Cadance's position before he does anything he'll regret, but (also "of course") I bet that's not going to happen.
Will Blueblood turn full Joffrey and excute all of equestria? Will Shining Armor get his revenge? Will Twilight slap somepony? Will I ever stop wearing fedoras and shave my neckbeard? Find out next time on Total, Drama, Blueblood
The way Cadence reacted to heavily implied violence toward Bb, I can't imagine Shining going one-pony angry mob on him would do wonders for their marraige. Still, quite enjoying the tale as a whole, give or take time between chapters, but I imagine that's just making sure it's as high-quality as possible. Regrettably, this means I have no helpful criticism.
20 bits says Blueblood wins. Top-Rope Elbow Drop.
themcp.webs.com/ExcellentChaos.png
This story has Discord's seal of approval.
Couple of things:
"It's" is the contraction of "it is." The possessive pronoun is spelled "its", without an apostrophe.
Also, there are some paragraph-spacing issues (it looks like an extra line didn't get inserted in between some of the lines of dialogue like it was supposed to be), and some missing quote marks around the beginning or ending of dialogue.
Oh, and the word you want (in multiple chapters) is "straight", not "strait." A "strait" is a narrow channel that connects two larger bodies of water.
Good thing Rarity was too distracted to fight properly. That, or she knows never to use her techniques against other ponies.
Have you seen her fight seriously? Damn scary.
Oh, boy... If Shining does anything, I have a feeling he's going to regret it, because... well, Cadance, of course. That considered, I hope he somehow hears about Cadance's position before he does anything he'll regret, but (also "of course") I bet that's not going to happen.
Blueblood can take him.
3248963
Thank you. That's what I'm talking about.
Will Blueblood turn full Joffrey and excute all of equestria? Will Shining Armor get his revenge? Will Twilight slap somepony? Will I ever stop wearing fedoras and shave my neckbeard? Find out next time on Total, Drama, Blueblood
Oh man, who'll end up on the ass end of the ass kicking? Tune in next update to find out!
The way Cadence reacted to heavily implied violence toward Bb, I can't imagine Shining going one-pony angry mob on him would do wonders for their marraige.
Still, quite enjoying the tale as a whole, give or take time between chapters, but I imagine that's just making sure it's as high-quality as possible.
Regrettably, this means I have no helpful criticism.
3257052
Sure, let's go with that.
Mind you, I have other stories, I try to cycle between two when I can.