"It will be just fine dear, I have known these ponies since I was your age, maybe even younger."
My mum's words still haunt me to this day, the words that let my guard down. My mum is Octavia, famous Cellist in the Royal Canterlot Symphony, and my mom is Vinyl Scratch, queen of techno music. Both are pretty rad, I like some of their music myself.
When we had to move to lower Canterlot, I expected to see snobs and gorgeous ponies who've had so much plastic surgery that they're all plastic and no pony.
What I got was very, very, different.
At least I made a couple friends in this nuthouse.
Chapters (5)
Hmm... I can't say I found any errors, or reasons why not to like it, but slice-of-life really isn't my particular forte. The syntax was perfect, the mechanics were in order, and from what I can tell there isn't anything to complain about, but I'm just not interested. It seems... bland. Nothing is really happening that seems to be worth reading. I might just not be getting the idea, or perhaps something is going to happen in the second chapter, but as of now it's generic.
All in all there's nothing wrong with the writing, just with the concept. Though a thousand words is hardly fair to say what the entire story is about, if it does follow this same vein I'm seeing I'm just not interested. It's a bit too... pedestrian. But don't let my opinions discourage you. Keep writing, you'll find people who like this type of thing, just not me and just not now.
Good luck with the story and I hope someone finds it with tastes better suited to this sort of thing, but I'll be off.
Sole Sovereign of the Society of Syntax Socialism,
-Onyx
2928941
Honestly, I appreciate the criticism, I haven't written in a long time. You're right, as of now it's me trying to leap back into it, and every word helps. Next chapter will have a bit more, both in flesh and plot. I accept your opinion and will try harder knowing there is something to improve on.
You are not only doing an Octascratch but a Twidash too... that's it... Insta fav...
2929907
I'm glad you like it, some TwiDash ( And their kid ) should come in around 2-3, depending on how much I can fit in.
Interesting concept and at a good start no less. Hopefully it will continue throughout updates.