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Captain Amareica

Dusk Blast finds herself taking on the role of Captain America as her friend Gearshifts newest invention goes horribly wrong, transporting her to another universe seemingly set in a 1940s America filled with ponies.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 7 )

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Vexy

Vexy #1 · Jul 13th, 2013 · · ·

Sweet Mother of God.

Regidar

Regidar #2 · Jul 13th, 2013 · 2 · ·

0-media-cdn.foolz.us/ffuuka/board/a/image/1346/04/1346044723686.png

CWi

CWi #3 · Jul 13th, 2013 · 3 · ·

Something Eight

Something Eight #4 · Jul 13th, 2013 · 2 · ·

0/10 would not read.

Mayhem Darkshadow

Mayhem Darkshadow #5 · Jul 13th, 2013 · 2 · ·

This needs...a lot of work. I had no idea who was speaking at the unmarked spoken lines. Also the pacing of this was faster than Rainbow Dash during a Sonic Rainboom. Grammar is another issue. May I suggest an editor...or two. Also the guys over at the Proofreader Group could probably lend some assistance. Sorry if this is a little harsh but I give this a 1/10 .

Gravemindzombie

Gravemindzombie #6 · Jul 13th, 2013 · · ·

2867784

Finally, someone who gives actual advice and isn't just trolling. I will try to work on pacing and editing things to be clearer before I start work on anything else.

Mayhem Darkshadow