Ever been so angry everything seems to exist in a clarity that you just can't find the words to do justice to the feeling? Well if you have you'll know what I mean by that, if not I'll try and explain it as best I can. There exists, in my experience, a stage past blind fury. I'd not call it righteous anger or anything like that, never was a god fearing fellow (before all this anyways) and I'm sure as hell not some kind of paragon of virtue who'd have a reason to feel that. Even so, that's as close a term I can come up with for the crystal clarity my anger brought me at the sight beyond my little jail room.
Slavery is a nasty business, even if it gets things done, its still not right. Slavery doesn't even come close to describing the things I saw in there. Hitler himself would have been disgusted at the atrocities before me. I didn't step out in the slave quarters... No, the short tunnel led me into what I can only call a cattle pen and butchers stall. Broken and sobbing beings coated in blood, bruises, and rock dust.
Pegasus ponies had been treated cruelly to say the least, their wings hacked off and posed above their cages, just to remind them what had been taken from them and the freedom they'd never taste again. It was sickening to say the least, especially when I noted that more than a few of those severed wings belonged to foals. Even they had it better than the unicorns. Dear gods that one still haunts me to this day. The dogs hadn't been content with simply hacking their horns off... No, they'd done something worse.
Ever look into the eyes of someone who's given up all hope for anything? The bleak, soul crushing despair is writ large into every facet of their being, especially the eyes. They're empty of everything save pain and sorrow... These unicorns didn't even have that. I don't know how they did it, but they'd not only taken these poor ponies' magic, but robbed them of their souls in a metaphorical sense (those were still there... Don't ask how I know, its just one of those sixth sense sort of feelings.).
Of the three types of ponies the earth ponies had it best here. They'd been simply mistreated, nothing cut, nothing taken, just under fed, unwashed, and depressing to look at. I'd equait their appearance to that of a long time stray dog. That lean bony look that they get after awhile. That's what these guys had. What all three had in common though were the twisted metal torcs around their necks worked to look like a pair of jaws clamping down on their jugulars. These weren't slaves, they were thralls. Property to be used and disposed of. The Vikings had kept Thralls... But they'd been treated far better than this, so don't confuse the term when I use it here.
I don't know how long I stood there, staring at them all as the rage in my chest went from something burning hot to something so cold and hard that it made ME shiver, but when I did regain my senses I noted something else... Right in the center of this room was a simple contraption and a bunch of bloody saws, stained almost brown by the old blood upon them. They butchered these ponies right in front of the others. That was the nail in the coffin... I was going to wipe these Diamond Dogs off the face of the planet... Realm... Whatever it was, and it would take an act of Celestia herself to stop me.
I left that room behind, not before breaking the locks though, and continued on with the frozen flames of vengeance burning throughout my entire being. Nothing deserved what those ponies had been given... Nothing save for the one's who did that to them. Yeah, someone was going to SCREAM in mortal agony before I was through with this place.
My first victim never saw it coming, though his subordinates sure did. I came upon a group of D-Dogs, the leader of them, one of those ones with the bandoleer of vials, had his back to me. That was just fine with me... I put my axe away, affixing it to my back somehow... I suspect magnets, and took him before he knew what had him. My claws dug easily though the leather armor he wore, drawing runnels of blood that felt deliciously warm against my icy flesh and fur, as I tore into the side of his neck with my fangs. I won't sugar coat this, no I'll never sugar coat anything like this... The feeling of the life shuddering out of him and the taste of the blood pumping into my mouth as I tore away half of his neck and let him drop was one of the sweetest things I've ever experienced, and that sickens me. At the time however I just didn't care, they needed, they deserved, to die in agony for what they'd done.
I gave the body a shove towards his stunned fellows and came following close behind with a howl that echoed throughout the tunnels. The looks of fear on the faces of those dogs... Dear gods above and below, those looks... They just spurred me on.
Five minutes, it took five minutes, but when I was done the walls were painted red and I was covered in the vitae of those who'd roused my ire. The feeling of blood slowly drying on my fur was a strange one, but I payed it no mind. There were still dogs to put to the slaughter.
When I found Black Jaw and his son they were cowering in fear, their body guards long since fled in utter terror from the sounds echoing through out the warrens. The clung to one another, shivering in fear and the sickness that still clung to them courtesy of our earlier skirmish. The sight brought a grin to my face. I'd been about my grim work for an hour or so now, and I must have looked like an absolute demon to these two.
"How many...?" I asked them simply, Black Jaw Junior just whimpered in fear and clung to his father tighter. Pitiful whelp.
"B-Black Jaw no understand... Great one, p-p-please... Spare us... P-please. B-Black Jaw sorry he thought to take you as his..." muttered the worm of a dog before me. He'd said exactly the wrong thing, but he'd pay soon enough. I wanted some answers first.
"How many ponies have you butchered and enslaved just to dig your fucking gems?" My voice was icy calm, completely at odds with the blood matted demon of insanity that I looked like at the moment. "You'll answer now, or I swear on all you hold sacred that I will raise your corpse and make it tear your son apart with its claws. THEN I'll force the answers out of your soul. So answer me now dog."
The floor around the two of them grew warmer and wetter before I'd ever finished my little tirade, the acrid stench of urine filling the air. "H-hundreds...." he whimpered in fear. I smiled at his answer, I had all the more reason to make his death painful and slow now.
I turned my attention to his son and stalked forward with all the finality of a funeral bell in the sound of my paw steps. "Then for those hundreds, and for the hundreds, if not thousands more left to grieve, not knowing what became of those they love, I'm not going to kill you Black Jaw... Your son is." With those words, and a quick swipe of my razor sharp claws, junior was left to gurgle as his life poured through the thin lines that bisected his throat clear to the spine.
I watched as the dog slowly grew still, blood pooling onto his father lap before I began to chant softly. It wasn't required, but I felt the need to fill this abomination with dread, to know that he'd just lost everything and was about to loose his life too. The words poured off my tongue like a foul oil, sickening to hear and to speak, but they worked. A blackish glow suffused the corpse of junior as he twitched and rose, blank dead eyes looking in askance at me. I simply nodded and turned to walk away as the screams began...
With the object of my rage gone, entrails being flung about somewhere in the depths of those blood soaked tunnels, I felt so hollow and empty. I couldn't believe what I'd just done. I'd NEVER been a violent person, hell I went outa my way to not kill anything if I could help it when I was human... Now though, it just felt... natural, almost right. That frightened me. What in hell's name was I? How could I just butcher a whole bunch of living breathing things like that, even if they did deserve it?
I don't know, and I didn't want to know. I still don't to this day, its just a fact of my life now. Life is still precious, but taking it doesn't bother me like it should. I just do it and move on if I need to. That's neither here nor there at this point in my tale however...
Exiting the warren took awhile, the twisting tunnels were confusing to say the least, and it didn't help that the rage that had kept me going was just gone now. I was tired, so very very tired. I felt like I had lead weights attached to every one of my limbs, but I kept moving. I didn't want to spend another moment down here if I could help it. Help it I could, so I got my shapely ass out of there... Still kinda weird thinking that my ass would be attractive to dudes now. ANYWAYS!
The sun hitting my blood caked fur was like a kiss from a loved one, sweet as could be and warm in a way I'd not felt since I'd woken up here in this world. Oh I was still frozen inside, but I felt the warmth and life of the sun like any creature.
I made my stumbling way away from the entrance to that hell hole as quick as I could manage, mind blanking out here and there. My thoughts were a jumble of twisted images, blood, and the screams of terror from my victims as I tore them to shreds with my bare hands and runic magic. Before I knew it I was introduced to the earth in a rather familiar manner once again, but I didn't care. Sleep took me under its dark wings, sheltering me from my thoughts with the sweet oblivion of unconsciousness.
When I awoke I was naked once again, but blessedly clean. Only the lingering scent of blood clinging to my fur gave any indication of what I'd done in those tunnels. Not too far out of my reach sat my armor and weapon, cleaned just as I way and with the pony who'd done it still polishing one of my vambraces. He looked up at me and blinked in surprise. Eyes widening in fear just a bit.
"Sweet Celestia you're alive?!" he asked, well... More like exclaimed in a vaguely questioning manner as he scrambled back a bit. Large wolfish creature waking up when you thought it was dead... Yeah I'd probably freak out a bit too.
"No... I'm undead, mind telling me what you were doing?" I asked calmly, giving him a tired, if amused, look. Apparently it came off as a bit threatening, he squeaked after all. People, or ponies in this case, don't normally do that unless they're scared. That and his dark brown coat suddenly went a bit tan all over so I had to guess he'd paled quite a bit.
"Respecting the dead... You freed us, I was gonna clean ya up and bury you properly... After that you kinda deserved some proper rest. Some of those poor blighters had been down there since they were foals. You set em free, monster or not you deserve some respect." was his answer, quite a strong one considering the fact that he was obviously a bit frightened of me.
"Well... Thank you, nicest thing anyone's done for me since i got here really..." I said, scratching at the back of my head shyly. It kinda was the nicest thing anyone had done for me here after all. Everyone else I'd met wanted to use me for a brood mother. No thanks says I.
He blinked at that and sighed, finishing off his work and setting the vambrace down with the rest of my armor. "Look, I used to be a guard, so I know what a warrior's life is like. Still, if a bit of respect for the dead surprises you, you must've had a tough one... Whatever you are. I'm Broken Wall. What's your name then?"
Broken Wall eh? Odd name for a pony in my opinion, but who was I to judge. "Rune... You can call me Rune." I said after a moment as I climbed to my paws and busied myself getting my armor back on. The breeze was nice, but I didn't like being reminded of my missing wedding tackle by having the lack of it stare the world in the face. Properly outfitted once more I looked down at the earth pony who'd thought to pay me some respect after my apparent passing... He'd not even questioned the whole undead thing. Strange fellow really, but who was I to talk.
"Well Broken... I've no where's to go... Mind if I follow you to wherever you're headed?" I asked him with what I hoped was a charming smile. Charming is kinda hard to pull when talking to an herbivore considering that you yourself happen to look like a predator. So goes life eh?
He simply nodded and turned to go, giving me a good look at his cutie mark as I fell into step at his side. Broken, as I said before, was a brown earth pony stallion. His mane and tail darkened to something close enough to chocolate colored for that description to stick. A chocolate colored pony, yep Pinkie would likely try and take a bite of him. His cutie mark though, that was something special indeed. It was a wall with a gaping hole in the middle and a vague figure standing in the middle of that. The figure seemed to shine with a celestial brightness against the black of the wall. I had to wonder just what that mark meant... I'd find out later, for now though it was just nice to have company that was simply mildly indifferent as opposed to overly aggressive and rape happy.
ah justice, so scarce in situations like what the D-dogs subjected the ponies to, was at least close to being meated out
followed to see where you take this
2840637 try feared even farther than that if they can get away from Az
2912523 If a wild blood bath is your definition of close I'd hate to see what you would have considered fair punishment... Frankly I toned that down a bit, I'd originally written it a lot more gruesomely, with rune methodically dissecting Black jaw, but figured that would have been a bit much so.... Yeah.
2912532 kids hurt, LITTLE kids even more so and I pretty much loose all compassion, all understanding. Vlad Dracule would pail at how cold my soul and blood gets when I hear of kids being hurt or some bull^(% that people just shrug off because, hey its on the other side of the planet so why should we care about it right? that is the worst excuse
2912558 Any loss of life before its natural time is to be mourned, and murder is an outrage. One should never take a life unless it is to feed one's self. Murdering another being for pleasure, greed, or what have you is an affront to the Cycle... But I'd rather not get into that kinda debate on here.
Suffice it to say that my personal beliefs run similar, but I do not condone a life for a life in most cases. If you really want to punish a murderer stip him naked and leave him to Mother Gaia's tender mercies.
2912576 to murder a murderer is to be merciful, I am not merciful.
take their hearing, their tongue, the sence of smell and touch, all forms of comunication but sight and let them live. yes, they will always need to be waited on for the rest of their life but to reduce them to such levels, to take away all ways to interct with the world....
2912610
There was an old form of punishment that was quite like what you just said. They removed the nose, ears, hands and feet as well as scarred the face and body. The idea was to make the one being punished too like the monster he was so even the very children would shun him outright.
2922080 Bleeding auto correct. I never bother to check on anything not underlined in red when I'm typing. Thanks for pointing that out to me. I'll fix it soon as I'm able.
2922180 Just because you don't HAVE to breath doesn't mean something that's done so all their life wouldn't do it on reflex alone.
If you really want to dissect such things Death Knights in terms of WoW are mostly only half dead. They're alive only by the barest sense of the words. No heart beat, cold to the touch, think vampires and you're close enough I suppose. Even so they can still be poisoned, drugged, and what have you.
I'd be happy to sit and discuss this with you if you'd like, but please don't go getting nit-picky in the comments. Critique to your heart's content, but don't pluck at the small things.
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I hope to be seeing more of your story, I find it quite enjoyable. And I find it fairly hilarious that Rune is in all likelihood is a man trapped in the body of a lesbian.
2922246 Mayhaps. We shall see. There's another chapter due this week, so you won't have to wait long. I update my stories on a bi-weekly basis. Next week is From the Outside In, this week is Mark of the Wyld. Thanks for the fav by the way
2922199
I only nit pick because I like your story and want to see it at it's best. Simply put, the devil's in the details.
As your explanation is perfectly acceptable I have no problem in dropping the subject, however I would politely suggest having rune experiment with the extent of her "deadness" if for just the benefit of the readers to establish her bodies capabilities. As I'm not familiar with WoW lore I'm not familiar with the extent of a death knights powers. Though you've done a fairly good job of explaining it thus far.
Again, I really like your story and I'm curious to how it will play out. Personally I'm hoping that... well I have my own ideas, but I'd rather see what you have planned.
I will offer a critique from time to time, but understand they are given with the best possible meaning.
And if you want to go the whole "he who lives in glass houses shouldn't throw stones" route you can nitpick my story all you want Here. Who knows, you might enjoy it.
With the best regards,
JarOfHearts
2922420
I make it a point not to review other people's stuff. Far too much time in art school, I can't NOT be harsh as hell when it comes to critiques any more, still you have a point. I'll be working on the next chapter throughout the week, and to be dead honest I was considering dropping rune in a lake. Lets see the puppy try and swim in all that armor while trying not to freeze herself solid XD
2922429
Sound's hilarious, can't wait. And its I take no offense with not wanting to review anything. In all honesty I just like to offer stories I think people will like to them. For example, there is a AMAZINGLY well written story called Airborne on this site, and it only has 92 faves because the author uploaded all his chapters once.
I'd say read it if you get the chance, and if it floats your boat I would humbly offer my own fic for your entertainment. This is the last you'll hear of it, scouts honor.
2922448
I'll put it on my, admittedly long, list. I'm always stumbling on to new things to read on here and as such I think I still have about fifteen other fics to finish reading. Read Fallout: Equestria, got hooked on fanfiction, been binge'in ever since
In any case I'll likely read whatever you recommend. I average about two or three fics (at least as much as there to read) a day. Just depends on how much home work I have for that week really. Lots of gesture drawings and sketching to do, as well as some other things. Yay art school.
Since we're on the topic of shamelessly plugging our own works, I'd appreciate it if you gave From the Outside In a read. Its a more traditional brony in Equestria story, but from what I've been told I'm doing something right XD... Apparently I write a damn good Pinkie Pie.
2922461
Deal.
2924348
Time for an editing spree! and to actually start looking for an editor... I keep missing the small errors like that
Oh well, glad you're enjoying the story mein herr
2924416
Oh Lulu will show up later, the way I see it every god has their own realm, even those who are gods, or goddesses, of the same thing. It would be quite rude for a certain alicorn goddesses of the night to intrude on Elune's domain without asking, now wouldn't it?
That being said Luna will be featured in this story later on down the road. Kinda hard not to include one of my favorite ponies
Now that's more like it!
That passion, that anger, is what was missing from the last chapter. Here you let the comedy drop to the ground and the darkness and the violence stand revealed and it is exactly what was needed. Your description of the slave conditions was quite horrible, and Rune's feelings of disgust both at the dogs at herself were vividly described, I really felt it.
And now I am actually quite excited to see where this goes with Rune's new friend.
2924461
I try and make it a point to live up to what I claim the story to be. If I give it a dark tag, it WILL be dark at times. That being said constant blood shed and morbid content bore me, so even if it is meant to be a dark story there will often be some slice of life, comedy, and just general light heartedness. In my opinion it helps keep the story worth reading, and makes the dark aspects of it all the darker.
That said, I enjoyed writing that, I don't often have much reason to do anything quite that violent... I wonder what that says about me as a pony... Or person if you prefer lol.
2924501
Oh I wasn't saying it needed to be that dark all the time, just that if you are going to write a dark scene or an action scene you shouldn't water it down with comedy because you just do both the darkness and the comedy a disservice.
2924511 Gotcha. I mostly kept the previous combat light just because Rune didn't have much reason beyond wanting the heck outa there to really take that axe to the skulls of the dogs. Still, you have a very valid point.
2924511
2924361
This is directed at both of you, and I meant to do this earlier, but was distracted by food.
Thank you for your comments, advice, and for bantering with me a bit. Its nice to talk to a few people who only want to help
To Scipio and Jar I tip my hat... and later on I' poke through the stuff in there and see if I can't find something to properly thank you with. Who knows, might still have that solid gold statuette of Celestia face planting after a night of far too much hard cider.
2924631 you ever have a moment where you could actually beat the everloving SHIT out of a living being and not care at all?
that.