1: Rarity helps while I'm preparing a snack for some guests.
2: As a newly educated supervillain I have some random encounters in the supermarket.
Chapters (2)
CMKpower
Joined 28th Jun, 2012 ·
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Too short.
Insta thumbs down
2818632
Sorry but I'm not the one who decides the length of the stories. I'm just the one who writes them down in as great detail as I can remember them.
2818904
Get an editor. It will help you alot!
Just go here for an editor.
2818919
Sorry but the stories are what they are. They can't be made longer or shorter even though I want them to continue.
2818945
They can be made longer. Just edit them
2818950
Trust me I have squeezed all the details I could into them. I just have to wait until a new story comes.
You qualify for a Warren Peace review. Prepare yourself...
2822126
I can't wait ☺
I'll say it once, I'll say it a million times: don't write chapters less than a thousand words in length. If you don't follow this rule then people like TheaterCritic will instantly give you hate for it. Don't make lame excuses like: 2818958. This story belongs to you, not the other way around. You can make these chapters whatever length that you want to.
Also, going off this: 2818904 you make me begin to wonder if this is some sort of dreamfic or other fic where you're writing down random crap that pops into your head. If this is the case then let me let you in on a little fact that I've come to know: dreamfics and the like never do well on this site (I should know, I've ended up reviewing quite a few).
Going off the dreamfic theory and continuing with the info gathered from the comments, you don't need to hold true to what your specific dreams/ideas are. In fact, most of the time you shouldn't. I took a creative writing class last semester and one of the things that we talked about is bringing real life elements into fiction. If you do this then sometimes it's better to not stick to what really happened and instead make it up.
But enough about the description and comments! Onto the story...
...well that was...odd (and gives me more fuel for the dreamfic idea).
Here's a good example of when you should not hold true to the actual story. Dream or not, no one would just stand there after getting their eye gouged out. In all reality they'd probably be screaming their head off and clutching at the wound before (probably) going into shock. Head wounds bleed like a motherbucker so she could also reasonably lose consciousness. Much of this scene could be improved upon with additions of details of what Rarity does upon taking an egg beater to the face.
You need to indent your paragraphs if you aren't separating them with enter key spaces.
Yep, it's a dreamfic, isn't it.
So yeah, my guess is that this is some form of dreamfic or other fic where you pull random thoughts and put them on paper. While dreams can be decent fuel for a story idea, they themselves do not make good stories. My ultimate suggestion is that if you dream or think it up, then don't post it directly onto a page. Instead, if you must use it in the first place, alter it to make it make more sense.
Questions or concerns? PM me. Otherwise good luck and farewell...
/)
2822237
.
I can't believe someone took the time to review my story. It is beautiful
And it even seems that you like it even more than I had expected anyone to do.
2823252 That's what I'm here for.
2818950 it's a bit hard to "edit them" when there is no more content to put in there ...