Not a bad story, but you might want to try spacing your sentences into single paragraphs, or it becomes hard on the viewers eyes. You have improved a good bit since you started this story, and it shows, just be carful how may 'I' you put down or it becomes like a box of crackers that have set out overnight, old and stale and don't taste very well in the consumers mouth.
3742972 This is one of my first fics for this site, and I only write it because of those that want to see more. If you wanting a better story I would recomend Diaries of a Madman. The author is in the middle of revising it, but it still has a rgeat story to it.
3934397 Soon I hope, but I have been stuck with how to continue. I have this great I dea on what is supposed to happen but I don't know how to get there from this point. I have started the next chapter, I'm just stuck is all.
“Young one, you need to let go of your past if you are to be able to live for the future. Trying to right what was wronged upon you cannot be done, but it can be healed with time and love. You have acquired the love, but now you need time. Time to see that you can’t, and won’t be able to protect everyone, and thing from harm, and sorrow. Such is the way of the balance that you have yet to truly see.”
No matter what you do, no matter how you try, someone's gonna lose, someone's gonna die.
FIRST
why must i read so fast :(
Not a bad story, but you might want to try spacing your sentences into single paragraphs, or it becomes hard on the viewers eyes. You have improved a good bit since you started this story, and it shows, just be carful how may 'I' you put down or it becomes like a box of crackers that have set out overnight, old and stale and don't taste very well in the consumers mouth.
Overall the story is creative.
good chapter my friend, the souls can't wait and so can't i
OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!!!
I can tell what's coming! HARMONIC CONVERGENCE, BEACHES!
ooooohhhhhhhhh. its from that movie.. the animated one. NOW i get it!
3742972
This is one of my first fics for this site, and I only write it because of those that want to see more.
If you wanting a better story I would recomend Diaries of a Madman. The author is in the middle of revising it, but it still has a rgeat story to it.
When do ya think the next chapter will be out???
3934397
Soon I hope, but I have been stuck with how to continue. I have this great I dea on what is supposed to happen but I don't know how to get there from this point. I have started the next chapter, I'm just stuck is all.
Too bad you couldn't work Vinny into the story