You're not Rainbow Dash

by Boxed Rainbows

3. First Day

I checked my schedule one last time before I folded it, and then tucked it back into my pocket. This... was not going to be a fun day for me.

I left the room and looked to my right to see Collin also leaving his room.

"Yo Colly Derpins, going to class?" I asked already know his answer.

"No I'm going to go to the roof and jump off Mr. Faggomatic." He said as sarcastically as possible.

"Alright, And would you be offended If I recorded said jumping?" I smiled as I pulled out my phone and shoved it in his face.

"Oh Shut up, What's your first class anyways?" Collin asked taking out his schedule, and glancing at it before his gaze returned to me.

"I have some math class in Room 3001 Building C, and what you got?" I asked looking at Collin.

"GOD DAMNI-, I mean Oh Heck yeah we have the same class together alright!" Collin said in possibly the most drowned out, fake, and overly sad tone.

"Okay? I guess we should get going then....asshole...." I said as I started to walk in a random direction, with Collin following seconds later.

"Do you even know where you're going?" Collin asked while eyeing the surrounding area suspiciously. Before following me out the door.

"Nope...ONWARDS HO!!!" I bravely said as I over dramatically threw open the door, and ventured out onto the campus. Green University really holds up it's name with all the grass, trees, and... Whatever that brown blob is...

...

"Well should we ask for directions, or ya'know, maybe look for a map?" Collin Deadpanned still very weary of the surrounding campus, To which I face palmed.

"Collin, shut'cha face up and follow me." I ordered the sad sack of a soul behind me.

20 minutes later

"See I told you that I could find it, and still 5 minutes before class begins, that's a victory in my book." I said enthusiastically while walking into class.

"You asked for directions at least 5 times and that one guy gave you directions to the girls bathrooms." Collin said clearly not amused as he followed me into the classroom.

"Shhhhhhh" I said hushing Collin. "I never did any of that, and that guy was a fag anyway, I mean did you see those sunglasses?" I stated patting Collin on the head. "

"Sunglasses? I think you meant Douche instead of Fag, get your insults straight dumbass." Collin stated while swatting my hand away.

"Well anywa-Oh holly cow let's go sit next to that hot girl over there!" I almost screeched into Collin's ear as I tried to drag to the Who I Presumed/hoped, was a hot girl....What? I only caught a glimpse

"AGH, Warn me when you're going to do that nex-!" Collin angrily spat, or at least tried to, but fell deathly silent staring at the chick's direction. I turned to look as well, you know...to get a good look at her instead of playing the guessing game. Yeah that works.....

After about two minutes of standing still and staring, Collin and I both glanced back towards each other. Both of us having the exact same thought.

"DAAAAAAAYYYYYUUUUMMM!"

The girl, who probably overheard is, and probably noticed us staring, looked at us in a worried manner before turning away. I kept my eyes on for about a minute before I realized something... She had Purple hair. I glanced over to Collin to see that idiot hadn't noticed it yet. I slid over to him not once taking my eyes off the hopefully not a delusional-pony/chick.

"Hey um Collin, is it just me, or does she have purple hair? And if so, is she... One of them?" I whispered into Collins ear. Any trace of happiness or joy left his face immediately, replaced by a Facepalm.

"You know, now that you mentioned it she does kind of look familiar, But I can't remember which one it was-"

"Heya Rarity! Heya Faggots!" Rainbow cheered across the room not even realizing she cut Collin off. She walked over to us and gave us a dirty smirk before taking a seat next to 'Rarity'.

"What is up with your family and using "Fag" at every little thing?" I asked, a LITTLE bit irritated that Hottest chick I've seen in a while is...one of them....

Rainbow in response stuck out her tongue out at me, before going to converse with this "Rarity", who unlike her companion. Completely ignored me. Though five seconds ago I was staring at her like a hungry Lion stares at a slab of meat....

Trying to Eavesdrop, I picked up on some idle chit chat between the two girls catching up. But it all sounded like girl talk and even though it was in english, I couldn't understand a single sentence.

Oh god how could this day get worse?

And the universe decided to take another toll on me and bitch slapped me like I was a bottom-bitch who just spent three fifty on a manicure without his permission. (HA, Pimp AND abuse joke? I'm getting ALL kinds of offensive now!)

"Welcome to my class!" A Middle aged man cheered as he walked into the classroom. "I am Mr. Scultzafragger(...Some words will forever unknown to man kind....) or you can call me Mr. S." He continued. "My class is either Pass or Fail, No Extra Credit, No Test Retakes, No copying, No Cheating, and most of all No Slacking" He said smiling in a grin that would scare Death itself.

"We'll it's great to be here Mr. S!" I all but shouted in a very, VERY sarcastic tone. But somehow he didn't notice as he just nodded, and started to write some math equations on the board.

"God Damnit." I muttered as I purposefully face planted onto the desk.

And now, To Lunch!

The class passed by pretty roughly. All we supposedly had to do was "Solve this equation on the board," but it was practically written in a different language! No one, and I mean NO ONE, could figure it out! But since apparently I'm the universe's bitch, Rainbow was awarded a lollipop for getting the closest answer, which she copied off of me! I just didn't raise my hand 'cause I didn't want to.

The next 2 classes were a bit more fair containing no Rainbow, but also no Collin. But that was easily made up for by making a few new friends with some of my fellow students.

And now that leads us to the current time, lunch, and the destination? Wherever Collin is driving us. Too bad Rainbow just had to tag along, AGAIN.

*POKE* "Stop it."

*POKE* "Stop. It."

*POKE* "Stop It!"

.............*POKE!*

"DAMMIT RAINBOW, QUIT POKING ME." I yelled in frustration as quiet giggles came from the backseat of the car.

"Collin did we have to bring her?" I asked the driver who just shrugged and gave me the classic Not my problem face.

"Quit being a Collin and have a little fun once in a while." Rainbow giggled again while continuously poking me. Fortunately at the mention of his name, it suddenly became Collins problem.

"HEY I CAN HAVE FUN WHEN I WANT TOO!" Collin said focusing on Rainbow Dash, and not the road.

"Uhh Collin I think you need to focu-"

"Pssshhh, No you can't" Rainbow said cutting me off.

"ILL SHOW YOU FUN." Collin said lunging back at Rainbow who instinctively slapped his hand away, and quickly gripped him around the neck, causing Collin to Swerve on the road a little.

This went on for about a minute before we got pulled over... But not a by a Policeman, no, but by a Soccer Mom.

"I should report you youngsters for driving like that, but I have to drive my kids, who you nearly hit by the way, to soccer practice. So I'm just gonna give you fellers a warning this time." She said mostly focusing on Collin. She gave us one last look before getting into her Minivan and starting it up. "HEY KIDS WHATS THAT!" She screamed and pointed at the opposite direction of us. Instantly, all the kids faces snapped to the direction she had pointed at. And with all the kids attention unfocused, the mom quickly leaned out the window, and flipped us the bird before driving off.

"Wow, What a Bit-"

"Collin shut up." I said cutting him off, pinching my nose in frustration. "You were driving pretty awful. I mean we got flipped off by a Grandpa, a Grandma, and now a Soccer Mom Because of your driving! Now be happy she some how managed to pull us over at our destination." I said finally looking up since we got pulled over.

Collin raised his finger but quickly sighed in defeat, to where Rainbow Dash started to laugh like hyena before I quickly cut her off.

"And you missy, Missed out on a Pretty important Pre-School Lesson. Keep your hands to yourself, and don't fuck with person driving the 90 M.P.H metal death machine!." I said turning away from them and starting to walking towards the restaurant.

Rainbow also let out a long sigh in defeat as they followed me inside. We all walked into the restaurant, which turned out to be just simple Sub-Pay... Crap, I was always a Bizno's man myself...

I decided right then and there that It was going to be a nice lunch. That I would finally get them to stop fighting for ten minutes and-

"Rainbow Dash?" A voice called out from behind us...

"Pinkie?" Rainbow responded almost instantly...

"Oh god ! How many of them are there?" I asked Collin as the 2 girls rejoiced over meeting each other.

"6, counting my sister. But that's as far as I know of." Collin said releasing a huge sigh as he went up and ordered his food, leaving me alone, with my left eye twitching like crazy.

20 minutes later

"Collin I'm still hungrrrryyyyy." Rainbow whined in the backseat of the car as we drove back to the campus.

"Well maybe if you actually ordered something instead of talking to 'Pinkie' the entire time, this wouldn't of happened." Collin said in an annoyed tone as he pulled into the student parking lot.

"But-"

"No Buts! Go buy something from one of the vending machines if you're still hungry" Collin angrily said as he slammed the car door loudly and stomped away.

"But I don't have money!" Rainbow continued to whine as she turned towards me. ......God dangit. I reached into my pocket and gave her the change I had leftover from Sub-Pay.

"Thank you!" She said in appreciation as she sprinted off to find the nearest vending machine.

I simply shrugged, and proceeded walk off to find my last class of the day.

5 minutes later

I walked into the classroom and found that all the seats were filled except for one... And that one happened to be right next to Twilight.

I walked over, and hesitated a big before I finally pulled out the chair and sat down.

"How in the world did you get into a class this advanced?" Twilight asked shocked and semi-annoyed as she looked over at me.

"This is an advanced class?" I asked Twilight, slightly confused. "This is just a slight review plus a little extra from what I already know, I thought this was going to be an easy class." I shrugged as I faced the teacher who was writing something on the board.

"What are you? A master of Science?" Twilight questioned even more shocked.

"Well Science is one of my favorite subjects" I said as I wrote down the notes the teacher was writing. Twilight in response, face planted straight onto the desk.

...

I sat in my room pondering what to do next. The class passed pretty quick, since it was basically just copying the notes on the board.

Twilight had to take my notes when the class was done, Since she spent most of the time wondering how I got into that class.

Rainbow wasn't here meaning she was still in class, or catching up with the other girls. Quickly, I thanked the universe for finally giving me a break as I laid my head down to take a nap.

God my pillow is just so comfortable I could fall asleep on it right now-

*Gurgle Gurgle*

DAMMIT I FORGOT DINNER! Huh, I guess It's all fine, after all I'll buy something with my change from Sub-pay...that I gave to Rainbow....

Quickly I fell to me knee's, and raised my arms high above my head.

"FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-!" I screeched at the-pimp-called-the universe

Author's Note:

Proofread by CPA87 who is still a handsome devil.

I feel as though I really started to rush towards the end though....

Comments

[Sky Hooves]

YAY! NEW CHAPTER!

*Start Reading*
...
...
*reading ended*

NEXT CHAPTER!

[CPA870]

Is it just me, or am I getting REALLY offensive with the proofreading of this story?2966997