2782624 Thanks your comment made my day XD By the way what Trixie said there was intentional, I just thought it sounded funny :P And with the grammar I plan on fixing that.
2784267 I just finished editing the first chapter. let me know if you think its better. All i did was fix some grammar and tweak some things here and there. so let me know what you think
(mature voice)awesome story though clop scenes are a little fast but only slightly good job. try adding slightly more detail to give them depth but not so much that it becomes dull(mustache maturity and a smile)
2794583 Thanks bro XD By the way i'm working on another story at the moment, so I put this one on hiatus. If you thought this was funny the my next one might just kill you X3 The first chapter will probably be out tomorrow, so check it out.
2782624 Thanks your comment made my day XD By the way what Trixie said there was intentional, I just thought it sounded funny :P And with the grammar I plan on fixing that.
Pretty good so far . Keep going.
2784267 I just finished editing the first chapter. let me know if you think its better. All i did was fix some grammar and tweak some things here and there. so let me know what you think
2781503 OK I fixed the first chapter. Let me know if you think it's any better
(mature voice)awesome story though clop scenes are a little fast but only slightly good job. try adding slightly more detail to give them depth but not so much that it becomes dull(mustache maturity and a smile)
2792162 Not sure if thats good or bad XD
2794583 Thanks bro XD By the way i'm working on another story at the moment, so I put this one on hiatus. If you thought this was funny the my next one might just kill you X3 The first chapter will probably be out tomorrow, so check it out.