Equestrian Darkness

by Arreis Of Avalon

Celestia's Concern

Princess Celestia had awoken some hours earlier to raise the sun. Now, at what she presumed to be midday, she went to check on her Sister Luna. ‘Maybe today she will be feeling better’ Celestia thought. As Celestia neared Luna’s door, she thought she heard something. Could it possibly be… crying? She knocked on her sister’s door. “Luna, are you up yet?”She asked. The crying stopped. When the being inside spoke, it did not sound like her sister. Or, at least, not quite her sisters voice. There was a touch of something in her sister’s voice that Celestia had only heard a few times. The last time her voice had held this emotion, they had been about to face Discord. It was the touch of fear in Luna’s voice that scared Princess Celestia.

“Y-yes, Tia. I‘m up,” the voice inside said. “I- I’m feeling a little sick today, sister. I think I- I’m just going to lie down…” Celestia frowned.

“Are you sure you’re alright, Luna? Should I send for Nurse -“

“No!” Celestia recoiled, as though she had been struck. That was defiantly not her sister.

“Who are you,” she asked the being who had replaced her sisters place, “And what have you done to Luna?”

“I- I’m your sister, Tia! I am Luna!” The trace of fear in her voice was gone now. All that was left was something else that Celestia had thought was all but gone in Equestria. Chaos. Panic.

Celestia decided to play along with who she believed was her sister now. “Ok, Luna. I’m sorry. Your voice sounds different, no doubt from your cold. I will take over your duties for today. I hope you feel better.”

“Thank you, Tia.”

As Celestia walked away, Luna sighed. She turned to stare at her newly found cutie mark, a Moon, signifying her fate to come. Tia must have known something was wrong. She was a foal, never investigating what needed to be looked into. Luna sat on her bed and cried helplessly. ‘Why won’t anypony help me?’

Author's Note:

Short chapters, sorry. ^^;; I love writing, and I began writing this when i first got into writing. So, expect short chapters and a bit of confusing grammar. Also, the story goes REALLY fast. I still haven't quite learned how to pace myself. ^^;;

Comments

[Arreis Of Avalon]

2765986 *SPIT TAKE* Really?!

[SilverCreep]

I'm curious, you don't see a lot of back-story between the time of Discords imprisonment and NMM's banishment. I'd really like to see the whole breakdown of the civility the sisters have with one another before the whole 'conflict of the celestial bodies' begins.

One note, and this is just a pet peeve of mine, you gotta write more per chapter.
I find that the best amount would be at least 1,000-2,000 words a chapter, its enough to convey some good ideas as well as give more to the reader, anything less just seems lack luster considering you write pretty well.

[Arreis Of Avalon]

2766074 Thank you very much for your comment. I typically write much more in my chapters, but this is a really old fic I had. I'll try and edit it so they're a bit longer. Thank you for the good advice. ^^