Wild Charger is the self-proclaimed protector of Stalliongrad. He remains vigilant at night and sacrifices his sleep and life so that others may have a second chance. But he has made several mistakes in his past. Sometimes these mistakes or miscalculations cost a life. And these mistakes will stick with him for the rest of his life.
Tonight, the souls of the past haunt him.
Page generated in 0.06 seconds
Total duration
782 users online
578,502 hits today, 1,960,719 yesterday
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
The atmosphere for the story was good, but I don't really understand the character, or the plot. You say that he fights the souls of the past, but I don't understand why. Did he do something wrong in the past that made him haunted? Or are they just random evil souls? I don't know why he is the protector of Stalliongrad, or what his motivations and traits are. He uses very little of his personality in this fight scene. I think you need to use more detail when you write a story like this or it becomes hard for the reader to immerse themselves.
2757616 Thank you for your input! Some of what you said is simply the result of being an excerpt from a story that unwanted input on, but everything you said is indeed something I can listen to, so thank you. The atmosphere was the big thing I went for in this, so I'm glad you liked it. Was the writing itself done well you think?
2757616
I realized just now I did not clarify that this is a dream that Wild is experiencing of his past mistakes that have led to the death of the people he's tried to save. He's haunted by the thought of his failures and is having a nightmare.