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  • 1w, 4d
    Looking for a Pre-reader

    Hi, everyone,

    I'm looking for a pre-reader for a random clop-fic I've written. It's rather short (about 4k words) so it shouldn't take up too much of your time. It is centered around Twilight Sparkle (and involves a few other characters which I don't want to spoil).

    If you are interested, please PM me, and I'll provide you with a link.

    Thanks.

    0 comments · 3 views
  • ...
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 16,353

Several days after having a terrible nightmare, Scootaloo takes her final exam at the Cloudsdale Flight Academy, and with the help of Rainbow Dash gains insight into the nature of her own character as well as knowledge of the deepest secrets of the Rainbow Factory.

Upd: YouTube reading by linksbro1: link

First Published
15th Feb 2012
Last Modified
15th Feb 2012
#1 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Aww, how sweet :twilightsmile:

#2 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Well done, enjoyed.

#3 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Excellent. Well done. I tip my hat to you.

#4 · 144w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

There's gonne be more spinoffs/reworks like that? I really liked it.

Maybe SHED.MOV? That would be awersome.

#5 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

That was a really neat take on Rainbow Factory, and the ending was great.  Took off half a star for the improperly capitalized title, though.

#6 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

So beautiful in so many ways. 5 stars and 5 hearts for you! :heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

#7 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Da'awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

At first I thought this would suddenly turn into the original story but with added grimdarkness (new word :D), but then it was awesome at the end :derpytongue2:

You deserve a cookie my friend :rainbowkiss:

#8 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

I enjoyed this! (It is slightly unclear what the nature of the love is though. There's the love I associate with amicitia, or friendship, and then romance associated with eros. I'm assuming it's the first.)

I noticed you mentioned it was translated, and with that in mind I could really see that in some places. From what I can tell, the translator did a fairly decent job with your story. :) What was the original language?

#9 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

this makes my rainbow factory fear disapear :pinkiehappy::rainbowlaugh::scootangel:

#10 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

>>223428

The original is written in Russian.

Could you please be a bit more specific about the translation artifacts that you noticed in the text?

Thank you!

#11 · 144w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

I sent this over to the TvTropes recommended fics, because I think this deserves it. I loved this fic!

#12 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

This kind of scared me a little..:facehoof: hahh

It was a good story though, 5/5.

#13 · 144w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

There is only one feeling, one emotion we haven't tried yet. Immediate reaction: Oh Celestia no! Not fear! What I got: Love

D'awww, you improved my day considerably! :scootangel:

(A considerably happier)

--Khroam

#14 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

>>223553 Definitely deserves to be. A good antidote to another horrid grimdark fic. :scootangel:

#15 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

>>223640

Although I would switch horrid with horrifying because I'm a little too kind, that's exactly why I did that. Now we need antidotes for Pattycakes and Sweet Apple Massacre and we'd be set for the moment.

#16 · 144w, 4d ago · 1 · ·

Wonderfully written work, though I'm a bit confused as to what they mean by "love".  Are they talking about romantic love or powerful, close friendship?  I'm interpreting it as the latter.

#17 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

It's adorable, but it's still a fix-fic. 4.5.

#19 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Saw the romance tag! Totally saw it coming:rainbowkiss:

#20 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

I was a little afraid her dream was going to be played out :pinkiesad2:.  But you completely turned it around at the end: no way anything bad was going to happen when Rainbow mentioned 'loyalty'. :rainbowkiss: Really enjoyed this, had me thinking until the end!

#21 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

no joke I was just about to write something like this, oh well....:fluttershyouch: good story anyway

#22 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

:heart: I was kind of worried when I saw that this was translated, but it seems to me you've done a fine job as well as the author. As others have said, this completely broke the nightmare fuel it's based on, thanks.

As for the love, my money is on romantic love, as I would hope that RD'd have brought Fluttershy in at some point to try it with Friendship.

Ice
#23 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Is.....Rainbow...dead? Also every time you did the rainbow factory song I was sure you we're going to do horror.

#24 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

I so thought she was going to say "Fear" but....WOW! Love, of course.

#25 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Your made the Rocky of Fan-Fiction!

:heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart::heart:

#26 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

This is so adorable! Thank you for fixing that horrible gorefic. I love it when I see good takes on bad stories. :pinkiehappy:

#27 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

>>223858

Ah, but friendship, very strong friendship, IS love :pinkiehappy:

#28 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

clap... clap... clap...

#29 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

I can now sleep again peacfully at night after reading the actuall fic, thank you fine sir. 4.5-5 for grammar, but still a great fic.:twilightsmile:

#30 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

d'aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw:pinkiehappy::twilightsmile:

#31 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

You sir, deserve a cookie! *gives cookie*

#32 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

i dunno...the descriptions of everything were alright; but the dialogue was....clunky.

i guess translations aren't perfect

#33 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Maybe I should read this when I'm sober. I can't get my brain around it

#34 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

You need to work on your writing "voice." None of the characters are speaking naturally. Their dialogue is stilted, and the canon characters especially are using grammar and vocabulary they'd never use. The non dialogue parts are dry and analytical, like someone reciting a series of events for an incident report. It doesn't "flow" and the feelings you're trying to get across are informed rather than innate.

#35 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Loved it, I was getting a little uneasy their for a second but I like how it turned out:pinkiesmile:

#36 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

SCOOTALOVE POWERS THE WORLD

#37 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

In the rainbow factory.... :rainbowderp:

#38 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

A really sweet fic made from a darkfic.

#39 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Got worried this was about to turn into a pedodash story for a sec near the end there... Phew, but gladly I was wrong. Very nice ending, :rainbowkiss: :scootangel:

#40 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

I thought Rainbow was going to make out with her:rainbowderp:.

#41 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

One more thing.  You should send this into EqD.  :pinkiesmile:

#42 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Well, the Cupcakes reference was a smart touch. The pacing was a little slow, and you seem to have missed a few full stops at the end of dialogue lines in the latter half of the story. RD being a proper scientist is slightly OOC, and Orion's a rather static, convenient character. Even so, points must be given for the ending and the descriptions. Not bad, not bad at all. :twilightsmile:

#43 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

lol

loved it

keep up the good work friend

that is all

kthanxbai

#44 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Thanks for the nightmare treatment...

#45 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Thanks for the nightmare treatment...

#46 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

*clap* *clap* *clap*  Well played.  The Cupcakes *shudder* reference, the nightmare, and what happened to Orion threw me off.  This fic is lovable:heart::yay: 5 stars

#47 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

I was all like:pinkiegasp: becaus I thought scoots was gonna die and than I was all like:twilightsmile: yay. that was a good story.

#48 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Aw, dats adowabol:yay:

Loved the red herrings. Definitely threw me off.

#49 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Interesting, you've managed to surprise me with this one. :pinkiegasp:

I was expecting something more sinister, but you managed to work that into something quite interesting :pinkiehappy:

#50 · 144w, 4d ago · · ·

Its very....well....RUSSIAN!

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