Three ordinary young men working at a night club, nothing out of the ordinary right? But when their world begins to unravel before them, they are offered a choice.
Stay and die, or go for the wildest ride of their life and try to save two worlds from an unspeakable evil.
Now can Doc, Blitz and Case stand against the fury of Pandora's Box? Why not, its not like they've got anything better to do.
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I like the premise. You should separate your paragraphs with indents and double spaces, though. It would be difficult for the untrained eye to follow your story.
223035 Yeah, good nonetheless.
Hmm ponies and disturbed.. I'm just gunna take a gander here.
223035
Thanks for the advise! Like I said first time writing so bear with me as I work out the kinks. Thanks for reading too!
Let's see where this thing goes
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw1309_6004515698_95885f1a81.jpg
Oooooo, chills! Can't wait to read more!
Does the guy in middle of the picture remind you of anything?
images.wikia.com/adventuretimewithfinnandjake/images/a/a4/Dark_Magician.png
223797 You mean the mascot for Disturbed?
226958
Yeah.
so far i think im really going to enjoy this story
God story
tracking 
o_o I need moar! That was fantastic. I got chills when Pandora's minion came out and started fighting Doc, Blitz and Case. But I was also listening to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EciDe5-qjs8&feature=autoplay&list=PL48048F07C05335BC&lf=plpp_video&playnext=4 >_> Definately helped the dark theme near the end.
a response to this story's photo: Land of Confusion Music Video (Official)
Workin on the next chapter right now,should be out by this weekend!
I am working on writing a video game and thought it would be interesting to use the Elements of War (The Elements would be scattered in ruins and must be pieced back together before they can be used) (An additional element to War would be Wisdom [Think like having Sherlock Holmes or brilliant person]).
Another Element of Harmony which could be considered lost is Love (I noticed it used in a few fan fics and thought playing off with that as will). I am letting you know so you wouldn't be upset and if you like I can let you assist in some character placement for the Elements of War (Further information if you agree to continue this topic).
660638
Cool! If you need the help I'll be more than willing to help with the placement, just give me a heads up.
The thought of the Elements of War would be based on characters that have died and embodies that element. They can come from any game that is widely known and acknowledged. They can't be characters that could have been saved in the game.
Rage- Johnny Gat (Saints Row Game Series).
Honor- Richard Aiken (Resident Evil Game).
Courage- Subject Delta (Bioshock 2 Game).
Wisdom- .
While I was laying down last night something came to mind. Celestia is the Goddess of Light or Dawn and Luna is the Goddess of Dark or Dusk. From what I have researched the 4 Basic Elements are still lacking a deity. Based on what I read Celestia and Luna are Amateurs outside their Element which is understandable for a Deity. You could have one of your characters perform some ritual to claim an element which would greatly spike up their powers.
Equestria is the name of the Kingdom on Terra (The planet) so having other kingdoms join with em to face the Invading Big bad Deity (Or some could join him to add to the drama). Discord could break out but based on what I have read he would most likely side with Celestia and Luna to keep the Invaders out of his territory (He may be chaotic but he is not evil and is not stupid [though some would disagree on that]).
This could turn into a War of the Titans and The Lord of the Rings mixer plus or minus various other concepts.
If you need a character to assist the Main characters and bring alittle comedy you can use my character which is detailed in my blog (His name is Tri-Stars). I am not good at stories but this character popped into my head and I had to write him up somewhat (I have only found a few stories being written that he would be suited perfectly in but didn't get any replies back yet after asking em). He is the only pony of his kind and could be stated to be hiding in the Everfree out of fear for his existence (among other things [Traumas mostly]) (You could state his worries are mostly self induced and past events are forgotten).
I still believed in you. I knew you haven't given up!
1222726
Thanks man. I love this story and I've already got the big picture fully layed out, it's the little things that are hard to come up with. But as I said I fully intend to continue to the end.
Nice. Hope more in the future but don't want to rush it.
phhh spyro! ha! BITCH PLEASE! alduin OR smaug
spyro's cool but not world eater cool or fat-ass-dragon-doing-nothing-for-centuries-cool. sorry.
also, good chapter
You write pretty good for a dead man.
4505784 Heh. That's what they tell me down here in the boneyard. I appreciate you hanging with me though!