Episode 3: "X.A.N.A's Cupcakes"
After the Amazing party.
"THAT. WAS. AWESOME!" RD Yells at the top of her lungs. Quieting down, she adds, "Pinkie, I never knew you could throw a party in a factory this awesome."
Pinkie, still bouncing, replies with "Well, of horse I could! I'm not the element of laughter for nothing."
Yumi facepalms. Everyone else does too. Even the writers.
Pinkie, that joke- I mean pun- was so bad it crossed the fourth wall. So,... Congratulations I guess?
"Thanks, Omnipotent narrator! It means a lot to me!"
"Diane, Wat are you doing? Who ar-" Yumi starts, before getting cut off.
Twilight speaks up, reminding her "If you value your sanity, DON'T QUESTION HOW SHE CAN DO THAT. Or who she is talking to."
A sudden change in atmosphere hits the factory floor.
"Ah'm wondering where we'll be staying." AJ muses.
"Don't worry, darling. I'm certain Twilight can get us back for the night." Rarity comforts.
Silence.
"You can right, dear?"
Twilight's head hangs in shame.
"What's wrong? You can get us back right?"
Twilight finally speaks up. "I can."
"Oh, that's a relief."
"-But I don't think for another 12 hours."
"Nonsense! What basis do you have for that?"
"The Lyoko time out. Since Lyoko is another universe just like Earth or Equestria, the rules for entering it must be like those for other ones as well."
"Perhaps it's just a defect?" Rarity hopes.
"Yea, It sounds to me like a kind of arbitrary rule to me." Pinkie adds.
"You're right. Hey, Is there some place I can draw some a shape in the ground?" Twilight asks. "It's for a spell."
"I don't remember any spell that requires drawing stuff on the ground." Odd questions.
"Huh. The show isn't quite as accurate as I thought." Twilight notes.
"Let's be rational here. It's a miraculous that your adventures match up so close to the show." Ulrich says.
"I guess. I just thought, it might be, you know, that your universe is watching ours." Twilight replies.
Yumi's (now red) palm collides with her face. "If this works, don't come back."
Will punches Yumi in the arm. "That's rude! Just think of how helpful they'll be! Please come back! Especially you, Fluttershy!"
"Oh, yea. I almost forgot.There is a dirt patch in the corner of the factory floor. Should be large enough for all of you." Odd says.
Twilight looks confused. "Why is there a dirt patch THAT LARGE in a FACTORY?"
"Um, it's been out of use for decades."
"Seems like a waste to me. Unless, you know they want to hide something." Twilight pauses, with a slight grin on her face. "Hmmm, I wounder what that could be?"
"Couldn't be a super secret government project." Yumi says, while everyone laughs.
Twilight drew the Equestria shape, (a quick reminder: 
) and all the ponies get onto the 5 prongs of the star. (well, except for Twilight who stands in the middle)
"I'll come back... I mean, if that's ok with you." Fluttershy quakes, almost vibrating on the spot.
"Of course it's ok! I mean we are in their gang now!" RD comforts Flutters.
"Odd, you seem like a cool guy! I'll be like the bestestestest.... friends EVER!. FOREVER!" Pinkie squees, hopping a full meter into the air every word.
"Please excuse her. She's kind of full of energy at the moment." Twilight pauses, thinking over her words. "Well, she's kind of full of energy at every moment."
"You don't say! I don't-" Rarity says, right before Twilight sticks her hoof into her mouth. Because, even with some of the best magic in Equestria, and wings, the best way to tell somepony to shut up is still to stick a hoof in their mouth.
"We're out of time. Let's try this now. Don't want to die here, or worse, be late."Twilight urgently says.
"Twhahlight, Ah think your priority list is a little off." AJ mentions.
Twilight's purple magic fills the groves. Once all the grooves are filled, the magic solidifies. The shape holds as Twilight begins to say the magic words: "Inversez la nature du réel et fiction: Trouver votre chemin de retour par revenir sur vos pas." [1]
~*****~
Digital (really Multiverse) Limbo
All of the mane six are here, in the white void. Black words are in front of them: "Time left on lockout: 9:12:12". The last number is ticking down one a second.
"Well, I wasn't expecting this." Twilight finally manages to say. "Hopefully, this place will kick us ba-" Twilight says, cut off by her (and everypony else too) being sent back to Earth.
~*****~
"Damn it. We're at least stuck here for 9 hours." Twilight sighed.
Will looks at Twilight strangely. "Like some kind of inter-universe time out? Huh?"
Twilight looks apologetic. "I don't know either. Any where we can stay?"
Odd looks down. "This thing, the whole Lyoko thing, is a secret. No one but the Lyoko warriors can know about this. We can't just reveal this to the world, what if they shut it off? That will kill you ponies and make it so X.A.N.A can't be stopped! If you come out of the factory, they'll question us on it and it will be Game Over."
Twilight's ears droop. "So we'll have to sleep in the factory?"
Yumi replies. "Unfortunately, yes."
"Don't be so Ms.grump pants! I brought beds!" Pinkie says, trying to lighten the mood.
That worked as well as you would expect.
In that it didn't work at all.
The ponies set up their beds on the factory floor.
Oh, If only they knew how stupid that idea was.
Some hours later..
"Gooooood Morning, ponies. Oh. I'm sorry. I meant BAD Morning. Unless you like having your friends for breakfast!" XANA says. In a voice that can only be described as terrifying. EVERY kind of terrifying. All at once.
No pony could even reply.
Although, could you?
"Um.. N-" Shut up, Pinks, that question is rhetorical. Besides, shouldn't you be more concerned about that buzz saw coming for your head?
Pinkie doges, landing on a belt going into the boiler room.
The rest are all in they're own little battles.
RD is currently stuck on a conveyor belt, buzz saws right above her head. She's sweating. She knows if she does so much as move her head, she's dead.
Twilight, wings singed by getting a little too close to an arc welder (Why does this factory even have this stuff? And, more importantly, why does it still work?), rushes towards RD, ready to get RD out of that predicament, when her wings flub up. She felt like facehoofing so hard. OK, for one, she DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO FLY! She could have just teleported RD out of there! Apparaître ailleurs [2] works just as well as an alicorn! Second, Why did she flub up? She was overthinking flight!
Why didn't she facehoof? Because she was stuck on the underside of the conveyor belt dash is on.
Rarity and AJ got the drop on a buzz saw, oblivious to Twilight's (and RD's) predicament. Until X.A.N.A throws RD off the conveyor belt, just to replace her with AJ. Who, X.A.N.A, knowing her power, restrains her with magic. "Ah'm gettin' the feelin ya hate me for some reason."
X.A.N.A waits for a moment, calculating whether it could be wise to reveal this info. "You remind me of Yumi. I hate Yumi. In fact, I hate the entirety of Japan. But mostly Yumi."
While she's distracted, AJ scoots down, away from the buzz saws. She then bucks the blades, bending them.
Bent blades + high speed spinning = you can do the fancy mathematics.
Back to Pinkie... Wait, what is she doing?
... Whatever, RD has an idea.
"Twilight!"
Twi gets squashed by the conveyor belt, (again) then replies, "What is it? I'm in a pinch."
"What would happen if we shorted some wires?"
There's Pinkie! I was concerned it might be Game Over. For the world. You know, if she was dead. "Well, everything in the factory would go berserk and then it would blow a fuse, ending the attack!"
RD's pupils grow wide. "Ok, we sh-"
"Already working on it! Also, when I give the signal, RUN. To the elevator. Nopony want's to be killed to death, right?"
Everypony nods. Well, except for that one stuck under a conveyor belt. (sorry, Twi.)
"Plan: Electric Nefarious Sweet Defilement in 3..."
Dash felt like facehoofing. Twilight was stuck under the conveyor belt! If she stays there, she'll die!
"2..."
Dash knows what's up. Twilight needs to get out of there. "AJ! Release Twi from the conveyor!"
AJ retorts back while running to the elevator, "Just drag her out by her ear!"
Dash consi... nevermind. Dash, pulling someone by the ear is a really, really bad idea. "BUCK IT! She's stuck!"
Pinkie, strangely oblivious continues the countdown. "1..."
AJ, being the more observant earth pony, bucks the conveyor belt, making an opening for Twilight to escape through.
Meanwhile, Rarity is in another problem. She tripped, and is now falling onto some live wires.
Or she would be, if Twilight didn't pick her up and through her at the elevator.
... That's going to hurt when she crashes.
Pinkie, somehow not noticing her friends are in grave peril, drops a disconnected buzz saw onto some live wires, shorting the factory.
Fluttershy, already at the elevator, (which is spazzing out right now, because of the short circuit,) sees Twilight, limping because SHE'S BEEN STUCK UNDER A CONVEYOR BELT.
She knows she's not going to make it.
...
Without help that is.
So she flies.
She flies to save her friend. She flies through the bolts of electricity.
Because that's what being the element of kindness is all about.
Bolts of electricity singe... no, they don't singe her wings.
Her wings are on fire. Fluttershy doesn't care.
She has a friend to save.
"JUMP ON!" She yells at Twilight.
As Twilight does the strongest hop she can muster, (read: 5 CM off the ground. Need I remind you what she's been through?) Fluttershy flies just underneath, wings burning.
As she flies back, her wings are quickly becoming a trail of ash on the floor.
Flutters flies as high as she can before her wings burn out.
Thankfully, that was just enough.
Also quite thankfully, the sprinkler systems turn on, saving Fluttershy from becoming a former Pegasus.
Pinkie, finally paying attention, realizes something. "Wait, since we killed the factory power, shouldn't th-"
Pinkie was cut off by the elevator falling down to the lab.
... Even though a real elevator would stay on the same floor. ... dammit Pinkie, why do you have to make crap like this happen?
"It's your fault that I even said that! You shouldn't complain!" Pinkie says to me.
Needless to say, but for some reason I'm saying it anyway, nopony knew who she is talking to.
"Well duh! I'm the only one who can listen to you, Mr. omnipotent narrator!"
So there was no way you could have been unaware of your friends peril!
"Rule of drama, duh."
...
...
...
...
...
ANYWAY, while I was being distracted by Pinkie, Twilight Victoria Sparkle, (the middle name will be important, I swear) typed out this email to Odd:
Were you aware of the dangers of the factory you have put us in?
Our time was not really pleasant, because all the machinery ended up trying to kill us and turn us into.... I don't know, cupcakes.
Fluttershy stands out in this regard because-
Twilight chuckled to herself. "I'm starting to write this like a letter to Celestia. I'll backspace the part about Fluttershy."
I would like for you all to come down to the factory, as soon as you can without violating school rules.
Don't think I don't know about your many times you've broken code of conduct.-Victoria
"And sent!"
Dash looked over at the screen. "Wait, so how does this thing send mail? I don't see a mail slot or anything."
Twilight really wanted to facehoof, but given the level of knowledge about the human world and technology, he really couldn't have known better. "Dash, the 'letter' in this sense is virtual, like your sword. It only exists in the internet, where it quickly moves to, in this case, Odd's computer. Make sense?"
Dash sort of contemplates it for a bit. Then he gets it. "OOOHH. THAT'S how it works! You've gotten better at explaining stuff overnight!"
Twilight blushes a bit. "I try."
Odd yawns. Man, his brain hurts after watching 8 episodes of My Little Pony in English last night with French subtitles. Ulrich, who watched them with him for the first time, is still out cold. He realizes the irony in that he got up first, given that he is usually the one to sleep in later than Ulrich.
Anyway, just a- Hold on. The Supercalculator just emailed him. Opening the email up, he sees:
Were you aware of the dangers of the factory you have put us in?
Our time was not really pleasant, because all the machinery ended up trying to kill us and turn us into.... I don't know, cupcakes.
I would like for you all to come down to the factory, as soon as you can without violating school rules.
Don't think I don't know about your many times you've broken code of conduct.-Victoria
"Heh. She's just as clever as the show makes her out to be."
He shakes Ulrich up.
Ulrich sees Odd through the kind of eyes you have when you just get up in the morning: foggy and defocused. "Is this opposite day or something?"
"No sorry, you still have to get up for school." Odd, noticing the irony, adds. "Wow, it kind of is opposite day."
At lunch.
"So Odd, you woke Ulrich up? If I didn't know better, I would guess today was opposite day." Will asks Odd.
"Well, he was staying up late with me to watch ponies." Odd considered some segways. They were all kind of bad, but he went with one anyway. "Speaking of ponies, Victoria said we should go to the factory."
Ulrich overheard this. "Dammit, why didn't you tell me?"
"Because the email said not to come over until lunch. She knows my record for breaking the rules."
"That answers nothing."
Odd smiles. "Did I have to answer you?"
At the factory, Fluttershy, brings back grass for the rest of the mane 6. You know, by using the French sewer system to go to that one manhole that's in a park for some reason.
Don't look a gift manhole in the mouth. Which is a really bad metaphor, given that a manhole doesn't have a mouth.
Pinkie speaks up. "Also, a manhole would be a really crappy gift."
"That it would dear, but why would even have came up?" Rarity, realizing the strange awkwardness in what she just said. "Well, that was disaster."
The extremely important lack of dialog that follows was interrupted by the Lyoko Warriors entering the room.
Which then causes another awkward pause, finally broken by Aelita. "You ponies eat grass?"
Twilight responds with a casual demeanor. "Well, of course we do! We may be talking, magical, and from another universe, but we're still ponies."
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It looks good. I like this chapter.
I laughed pretty hard at the joke about the writers facepalming. It's a good chapter! Keep up the good work!
I gotta be honest, bud, as much I adored Code Lyoko, Evolution ruined it for me. Here's hoping you can bring me hope again
3368433 what is your thoughts so far?
3368482 It's better than I thought it'd be, which is a good thing
3368486 any specific thoughts on how I handled it?
3368491 Nothing I can point out right off the bat.
3368501 well, if you liked it, you should check out Mutant
3523978 they are edited.
FiM fic ruled that it was still copywriten
This review is brought to you by Zero Punctuation Reviews.
Oh boy! Another crossover with a thing that I've never heard of! I love halfheartedly reading wikipedia pages on a French TV show about teenage archetypes killing a satan computer before reading a fan fiction about cartoon ponies mixed with teenage archetypes killing a satan computer, all the while repressing my awareness to the fact that I am fucking reading a fan fiction about cartoon ponies mixed with teenage archetypes killing a satan computer and beginning reviews of such with ridiculous run-on sentences. Anyway, Code Lyoko is a… I don't care, I didn't really read the wikipedia page, Code-Unnecessary-Colon Pony Evolution is a crossover between our humble Ponyville Cast and the Whothefuckcares-burg crew in a deadly battle to kill Satan-Computer and is full of interestingly flawed characters, actions scenes, robots, sex scenes, sex robot scenes and is generally filled to the brim with everything that makes stories awesome. *cough* sarcasm! *cough*
Oh, but there's me being all bitter again as if I'm capable of critical thinking. My cousin recently informed me 8 months ago that I should be more open minded. Of course, I was talking about how popular music and the Twilight Saga should wiped off the face of the Earth and erased from human existence, and I'm sure anyone with at least 18% working brain matter would… no! Bad twitterdick! Open mind! Open mind!!
Yes, so let's challenge the self by withholding from cynical nihilism and be pleasant for a change! Hooray for God's creatures everyone!! …Except for pigs, wolves, lions, the entire nation of Babylon…No! Smiles and kittens, that's what we're about today kids! And I recently watched the excellent Lego Movie for the second time, so my inner 5 year old is more gitty than usually. And so what if the premise looks like poo-poo from the get-go? Even delicious chocolate cake looks a bit like poo-poo, with its fissures, textures, consistency and brownness.
…hehe… poop.
So, my fellow 5-years-old-at-hearts, let's dive into this thing section by section "Apple of my Heart" style and see if this is deliciously chocolately chocolate cake or not-so-deliociously poo-poo cake baked in sadness and highschool date request rejections.
hi, im 5-year-old him. i been let out of teh scurry inside-head box for dis review.
I'm Open-Mindedness. It feels wondrous to be free of the bleak and oddly fluffy Stygian pits of your silly, diseased mind, twitterdick.
If you read Open-Mindedness in a posh British accent, you get bonus points. I, of course, am Cynicism. If you are slow, I am the sarcastic and bitter one.
COMEDY
i was hopin to laugh but i got boreddedid. dare was a lot of talkin.
Okay, there is being open-minded and then there is being absurd. Code: Pony Evolution was simply not funny. It lacked the appropriate wit and context.
Well, 5-year-old me and open mindedness fell flat on their face on the first hurtle, didn't they? Comedy is particularly hard to systematize and therefore can only be judge subjectively, so really the only valid way to criticize comedy is on a funny/not-funny scale. So, Code: Pony Evolution is not funny. Not even 5-year-old me found anything particular funny while he was sitting the back of my head not getting any sporadic erections (lucky bastard!).
wats a 'er-ect-shun'?
Wait about 5 years, bud, you'll learn all about them.
are dey fun?
Not in the slightest.
CROSSOVER
Allow me to speak of the subject matter frankly without the sex jokes; I feel like the crossover section deserves the most earnest critical attention, for it is the stage on which this little tassel is being performed. I find the establishment and presentation of the stage to be malnourished and fundamentally flawed. The stage is the leading cause of why Code: Evolution Pony is failure.
(If you haven't pieced together whether or not I liked the story; I did not like the story.)
It feels like the story once possessed spirit and earnest, but lost a good chunk as it was brought to the world. It doesn't really have anything that interesting to say. It doesn't establish its two universes then employ its plot to explore them or compare them. It doesn't birth interesting and realistic characters and use the in-text scenarios to explore and change them. All and all, Code: Pony Evolution feels like a masterpiece contrived in the budding genius of an enthusiastic playwright who only had two weeks to prepare the piece with B actors and a budget of $13 dollars, 2 sandwiches and a dead dog.
That was a remarkably gay way of putting it Open-Mindedness, no wonder the Westboro Baptist Church hates you. One particular aspect that got it's filthy, unwashed hands all over my hamburger patties was the fact that I got essentially zero exposition on the Code: Lyoko-Ono universe in text, and I couldn't be bothered to read the wikipedia article because I don't want to have to consult a glossary just to understand what's going on. I wanted a interesting story set in a detailed world filled with characters whose motivations I could care about and you gave me 10,000 words of personal fan wank. Romanji, if I wanted to watch you masturbate, I would just consult those cameras that I planted in your room.
yeah, i saw all teh pictures you have on yoor flashy picture machine. wat was dat man doing wit his wee-wee?
You'll have to wait about 9 years for that one. You'll be surprised how much of your time it takes up.
It's such a waste of perfectly applicable lotion.
ADVENTURE
its weird dat yoo wood call dis an adventure becau-…because dey didn't eben explore teh world or… or anyfing like dat. dey could've at least gon to a diffren place or to a jungle wit timon and pumba or had a fight wit a dragon or… or sometin. sometin has to happen and teh people need to go oder places and fight teh bad guys.
I think he's trying to convey that an 'adventure' story with no actually exploratory factors in it hardly qualifies as an adventure. Perhaps some world building action scenes would set things in motion?
Yeah, I'll supplement by going all CinemaSins on this bitch. I think that'll get the point across.
"Princess Celestia used as All-Purpose Plot Starter" Cliche.
"Conveniently Specific Plot-Serving Magic Spell is Conveniently Plot-Serving".
Use of the word bucking in place of fucking.
Censoring your g#@$?!m curse words.
Kid's Show Ponies that swear
Why does Pinkie Pie have to throw parties everywhere? And break the fourth wall all the time? Those are gimmicks, not her character!!
Discount-GLaDOS (X.A.N.A). Portal was a good game, I'm glad we're all in agreement, but stop fucking ripping off GLaDOS's character!! If you're going to do so, at least rip it off well!
Emphasizing language with UNNECESSARY ALL-CAPS! THIS IS A STORY, NOT A TEXT MESSAGE!
did i do good?
Surely you meant 'well', young man.
You did alright, bud. A for effort.
i dunn no teh words yoo do.
Yeah, I know.
i hope im not emburrisn yoo.
No, no. You won't start doing that until we're around 15.
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
To avoid being repetitive, I'm just going to skip this part. I've already stated the universe failed to be adequately established, any more say on the matter will be utterly redundant.
Wait, you're not going to make me hear the same goddamn things over and over again? But, you're the one who liked school, Open-Mindedness!
is skool fun?
No.
HUMAN
Well, if by the 'human' tag you mean that their are humans in it, then this is incredibly accurate. Yes, some fleshy homo sapiens are around reproducing and effecting their environment and all that scientifically-alive shit. However, if you mean that there are characters with human qualities, then I have some very sad news for you: The characters here, and you'll recall that the realm of characterization is the one I throw the most dog poo around in, are flat and inane and exist solely to serve the plot or the piss weak jokes. Boo. Hiss. Boo.
Sadly, I have to wholly agree. While I did my best to connect with the characters, they simply lacked substance. They never truly broke out of archetypes, and, like the universe itself, they were not properly established, so there's no point of origin to compare their character arcs to. Characters have to change and adapt based on their environment. Since the MLP gang is out of their element, seeing them adapt to the new world as compared to the veteran Team Lyoko characters would have been interesting. But this story isn't about the characters, and any effective moments they could've had are cheapened because it's trying to be comedic. Comedy should supplement an already competent story. Comedy is the icing on the cake, but the story is bread crumbs atop a giant heap of icing and more icing. See, Cynicism, it's not to hard to be mature and informative about these things. You need to grow up a bit.
Yeah, whatever.
is bein a growned-up fun?
No.
CONCLUSION
Get back in my head, you two, I need you for this one.
Alright, I got my serious hat and my serious sunglasses on, so let's just drop the pretense and talk man to man. Or man to woman. Or man to goldfish. Whatever you are, Romanji, you could be a better storyteller, that's alright. So here's some silly advice from an unqualified stranger on the internet: There's a reason why terrible people like me come along and kick you in the balls/uterus/genital pore - it's so you become a better storyteller! Look, I get that code whaterjepser gets your panties in a whirl, but I don't have the luxury of recalling the series from a point of nostalgia.
Surely the only reason you dug up this particular cartoon is because it's really important to you - because there is some kind of irreplaceable magic that series gave you and there's no amount of adolescent/neo-adulthood desperation or cynicism that can ever touch that. So hows about you let us in that stuff a bit, eh? Show us why this series is so special to you. Drench me in them feelz, man! I want to understand and love Code: Loko-Tokyo-Jungle as much as you do. Let me in your head a bit, and I promise that I will seriously consider taking down those cameras in your room. Final Verdict: A potentially neat idea with not enough ground to build on, not enough room to grow, not enough thoughts in its head and to many RANDOM SPURTS OF ALL-CAPS!
iz opening yooself up to people on teh in-internet fun?
Oh God, no!
well wat iz fun?
… Being 5-years-old wasn't so bad.
I wish I could be in fucking anyone else's head.
4021112 X.A.N.A. is older than Glad-DOS, by several years. And is a lot more menacing in the origional series. Seriously, he's a disembodied artificial Inteligence that lives in the Internet and its goal is to conquer the world. Be ause that is what it was made to do. X.A.N.A. has the power to infect anything, including people, just by gaining control of ONE Tower. If he gets control of enough of them at once, he can reshape reality. And the scary part is, you never see him. Ever. He says nothing, does nothing, has no form to attack, and can (and does) create armies of servants to do his bidding. He is a puppet master that can never be Deafeated, because you can never find him. Because there is nothing distinct too fight. X.A.N.A. just is.
4109841
While I admittedly know next to nothing about Code: Lyoko, I was criticizing XANA as it was presented in this story, not XANA the canonical character. Sorry.
4124213 Oh yeah, XANA isn't as cool here. He's basically GaldOS here, don't know why he did that.
Code Lyoko fanfics... And their hiatuses
According to TVTropes: Author is permabanned. Fuck.
5441769
FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!! Why did the author get banned?! Oh, well. We'll continue this on FanFiction.