Judge Luna
Case #2 – Smackdown
Cheerilee sighed in relief after the stampede of foals was gone for the day. Leaning back in her desk chair for a moment, she closed her eyes to rest them. Fridays were always a bit of a madhouse when it came to teaching elementary school. Foals were eager for their weekends, and sometimes looked at the clock more than her. Leaning for a moment, she peered into the bottom-right desk drawer. She sometimes had to confiscate things from her class. The odd bouncy ball here, a bag of chips there… why, once she’d confiscated a toy crossbow that shot squishy little bolts at other foals. What a day that had been! The mare leaned curiously this time around, though, because she’d caught her students with something strange during their math lessons.
It was a video tape. Snips and Snails had been talking in hushed voices with Featherweight, trying to get him to take it in the middle of class. Featherweight had seemed hesitant but interested. Cheerilee only prayed it wasn’t something foals needn’t be looking at. But, the black and completely featureless tape did strike her curiosity. Taking it in her teeth and going to the science closet, she pulled out the television that had been given to her by the school board in Canterlot. She’d used it a few times to show movies on the days before holidays, or even as a reward when the class was ahead of schedule in their lessons. Struggling with the energy crystal for a moment to power the thing, she pushed the tape into the VCR and tapped play.
Lines leapt back and forth as the strange device tried very hard not to overheat. It was new technology after all, and wasn’t quite stable. Cheerilee sat on her haunches, cocking her head as the sound caught up with the video. “What’s this…?” she mumbled to herself.
Dun dun dun duhhhhhn!
Real cases.
Real ponies.
This—is Judge Luna.
A star-stangled logo flew across the screen, emblazed with the royal cutie mark before igniting into flames and exploding into stardust. Cheerilee stared, reaching into her saddlebags for the remainder of the lunch she’d not quite been able to finish during recess. She scratched her chin a bit, watching the camera fly through the palace, blast past a pair of double doors and into the throne room of Canterlot. “Huh!” the mare said, smiling. She’d never been to Canterlot, much less seen the throne room. This was kind of neat. “I wonder if I could use this for a lesson…” she crunched into a daisy and potato-chip sandwhich, eyes never leaving the screen. “The colts in my class were watching this…?” she mumbled, betraying the bad habit of talking with her mouth full.
=-=-=-=
“All rise!” barked a Lunar Stallion as Princess Luna swept into the room and mounted the dais. “Her Majesty Princess Luna, presiding!” The dark alicorn nodded once when she’d seated herself. “You may be seated.” Turning towards the Princess he gave her a folder. “Your majesty this is case number 86753, in the matter of Triage versus Boxem.” He leaned to mumble to her privately.
“Thank thee, Steel Wing. Where are my two parties?” Luna signed the folder then set it next to herself, looking curious. “I see no little ponies before me.” She craned her neck, finding both tables empty.
“They had to be brought in separately.” Steel Wing said a little darkly. “From opposite sides of the building. At different times.”
“That bad, huhm?” Luna sighed a bit. “Very well. Bring forth the first pony.” Steel Wing made a gesture, and the throne room doors were flung open.
A battered, broken-looking stallion tottered into the room. His front legs were supported by a complex, wheelchair-like mechanism while his back legs propelled him forward. One of his eyes had been blackened, and there was a smattering of tiny black marks across his barrel. Luna’s brow rose. What matter of catastrophe had befallen his poor creature?! He had to be helped through the little gate that separated the audience from the tables before the throne. He let out a little yapping sound when his wheels thumped the floor a little too hard getting over the lip, and the Princess winced openly. “Your Majesty.” He panted when he’d finally made it behind his podium table. He bowed as best he could, but even from on high Luna could see the pained quiver in his front end as he did so.
“Rise, my little pony.” Luna said with a little sound of sympathy. “Respect is no justification for self-inflicted pain. Tell us thy name and vocation?”
“Thank you.” He said in a small voice, offering up a weak smile. “My name is Roxem Boxem. I own a cherry stand and a few multi-story renting apartments in Ponyville.” He was a square-shaped thing, with stubble on his chin and a cardboard box on his flank. He looked well-built and rather tough… if not for the menagerie of injuries up and down his body. Clearly, he’d been trounced by the purest definition of trouncing.
“And what brings you to my court room today?” Luna said, tilting her head.
“I was assaulted and badly injured!” Roxem blurted the obvious. “I have medical bills and pain and suffering the other guy should pay for!”
“We assume though has all paperwork confirming injury and monetary loss?” Luna said, making a gesture to Steel Wing. The Lunar Stallion bowed and went forward. Roxem nodded until it pained him and he had to stop. Getting out a messy-looking folder, he gave it to the royal guard, who took it to her Majesty. Luna flicked through it. “Oh yes, we see… very thorough. Commendable.” The dark alicorn set it aside after almost a minute of scanning the numbers, doctor’s comments and such. “We wish we had more ponies with evidence so plain. Clearly, thou hast suffered a thrashing at the hooves of a vicious attacker! We shalt see justice this day, no doubt of it!” she nodded sternly, snapping the folder closed.
“Oh I hope so, your majesty!” the stallion said enthusiastically, energy flitting across his features until a bolt of pain went down his neck and he had to calm himself.
“It is our understanding thou art sueing for medical bills, pain and suffering, and so on?” Luna looked up after she’d shuffled a few papers. The stallion nodded once. “Very well, this seems rather cut and dry.” She turned to Steel Wing once more. “Bring forth the other party, please?”
Steel Wing gestured and two ponies came forward from the double doors of the throne room. The audience craned their necks, for one was a grown stallion and the other one was a frightened little foal. Both were lime green, both with earthy-brown manes, and both with casted-limbs on their flanks. The stallion with a leg in a cast on his flank, and the foal with a hoof in a cast. The foal tried to stay under his father’s barrel, whimpering a little. He didn’t like all the eyes on him, so many eyes! Shyly hiding under the table when they’d come forward, the little one had to be herded out into plain view. “Steady there, son.” Steel Wing came with a little box for him to stand on. The colt clambered up onto the it so he could be seen on the podium too.
“State your names and vocations, please?” Luna said, admiring the family resemblance. So rare it was, to share mane and coat color with a parent.
“Your Majesty,” the stallion bowed, “My name is Triage. This is my son, Splint. I’m a EMT, and my son is… er… in grade school.” He smiled a little awkwardly, which the Princess returned.
“How are thy grades?” she looked over at Splint.
“O-okay…” squeaked Splint, pressing up against his father some. The stallion put a comforting arm around his son, trying to help him stop shaking like a leaf in front of all the cameras and watching ponies. Poor thing. Luna promised herself to get through this quickly so the poor thing could go back to being a child and not wet himself from fear.
“Good. Education is important, little on. How old art thou?” she asked.
“I-I’m nine, your Highness.” Splint said.
“Nine! A very good age!” Luna said, smiling in a motherly way. “Let’s have all this be done, and thou may go back home to play, yes?” she said soothingly. The colt nodded eagerly, his eyes doe-like and soft. “Very good then.” The Princess leaned. “Now then, Mister Triage. Thou art being sued for assault by Mister Boxem due to…” she gestured at the stallion across the way. “Well, all of that. How does thou recall the incident? Perhaps thy medical knowledge helped thou trounce him in the most effective ways possible?” she frowned, ready to lay into the lime green stallion already.
“W-well no, you see...” the stallion hesitated for a moment, “I’m here to represent my son. He’s a minor, so he can’t be sued. I have to stand in his stead, according to my legal advisers.”
There was a long, long, awkward silence in the courtroom. Lunar Stallions murmured at each other. The camera crew looked back and forth, trying to figure out if that was really true. The audience gasped audibly and started to murmur and fuss rather loudly. “Order! ORDER!” Luna stamped a gilded hoof, startling everypony into silence. “Thou does know thyself to be under oath, right Mister Triage? Thou mean to tell us that thine tiny whelpling gave Mister Boxem,” she gestured to the stocky stallion across the way, “The thrashing of a lifetime?” Triage nodded mutely. “We doth not believe thou. Not for an instant.” She looked down at the colt with a rather troubled expression. “How dare thee bring thy youngling into such proceedings, spouting such drivel?!”
“It’s true,” said Triage as gently as he could. “Maybe we could give a demonstration?”
Luna considered for a time. Eliminate the impossible, and even the most extraordinarily unlikely was bound to be true. “Very well. Stalwart Hide, come forth!” she stamped a hoof twice. One of the Lunar Stallions standing next to a column startled forward at the sound of his name. Luna eyed him up for a time. He seemed to be approximately Boxem’s size. “Alright. Thou may make a demonstration of thy might upon my guard, little one.” She bade Splint.
The lime green little colt came forward, bending forward at the knees in a sort of bow. The Lunar Stallion cocked his head with a clank of his plate-like armor. The soldier was easily twice his height and four times his weight, helm included. Coming forward, he mumbled to himself about being careful with the kid and not hurting him in front of thousands of ponies. “Be careful, Splint! Not so hard this time.” Triage said, lifting a hoof. Splint nodded.
Luna leaned forward, eyes trained on the foal. “U-uhm, here I come,” Splint said softly. The Lunar Stallion nodded, waiting to see what the little ankle-biter could d----?!
LEAP-POW-TWIST-SMASH!
The audience was on its hooves, mouths agape. The Lunar Stallion hit the floor so hard he bounced off the marble like a chew toy, a piece of his armor breaking off and pin-wheeling out a window. Luna blurted a swear word in shock, which thankfully nopony heard. Stalwart Hide lay there in a twitchy heap, his eyes replaced with swirly-marks. “Order! ORDER IN MY COURT!” the Princess vibrated the windowsills with the Royal Canterlot Voice. Everypony startled back down into silence, seating themselves and mumbling. Clearly disturbed, Luna cleared her throat for a moment and fished for words. “Er… very well then.” She gestured to another guard to have the trounced one taken for medical attention. Suddenly all the little black marks on Roxem Boxem’s barrel made sense. They were buck-bruises. Dozens of tiny little buck bruises from the hooves of an innocent-looking foal.
“M’sorry!” blurted Splint as Stalwart Hide was dragged away. “Mommy says you’re only supposed to fight in self-defense or if somepony can’t defend themselves!” he sank to his belly like Luna might hit him for what he’d done.
“Thy mommy is a wise mare,” said Luna warily. “Please, return to thy father’s side.” Slowly seating herself again, the night time Princess completely adjusted the dynamics of the case. What could invoke the wrath of such a mousey child? She had to know more. “Mister Triage, please relate the entire story, from the beginning.” Luna gestured, taking deep breaths to calm herself.
“W-well, you see,” The lime green stallion said, “My wife and I are a team in world pony martial arts rings. She’s a champion competitor, and I’m an EMT for anypony that gets seriously injured during the competitions.” He paused to let that sink in. “She taught our son how to defend himself really early, but she might’ve gotten a little carried away.”
“Clearly.” Luna said, eyeing the foal. He had no bulging muscles nor deformaties of early-childhood extreme work-outs… yet somehow he’d flattened one of her royal guards by shifting his weight and laying into his face in the blink of an eye. “Thy son is clearly an excellent protégé.”
“The kid’s a frickin’ psychopath!” Blurted Roxem Boxem, who’d been silent up until then.
“We art speaking!” Luna snapped angrily, shushing Boxem with a pointing hoof. “Thy turn to speak comes later, hold thy tongue.” She said before turning back to the father-son pair. “Continue, we must know how this beating came to pass.”
“W-well you see,” Triage said. “My wife was told to take a year off from the competitions because of her blood pressure. Constant training and stress does terrible things to your body, after all.” He smiled a little bashfully. “So, we came to Ponyville to relax and enjoy some quiet. You know, let my son go to school instead of travelling with a tutor—let my wife breathe easy for a while instead of kicking flank from dawn to dusk—and I got a job at Ponyville General Hospital.”
“Mhm?” Luna said, scratching her chin as she did so. “And how did thou come across Mister Boxem?”
“He’s our landlord.” Triage said. “We only planned to stay in Ponyville for a year and a half or so, so we didn’t want to just buy a house and then sell it right away. Too much paperwork.”
“Renting would seem the wiser choice. And mister Boxem rented a home to you?” Luna confirmed.
“Yes.”
“And thou signed a renter’s agreement?”
“Yes.”
“And thou moved in with no issues?”
“Yes.”
“And thou lived there in the peace and quiet thou sought?”
“Yes.”
“Did thou have any troubles with Mister Boxem before this incident?” Luna looked back and forth between the two parties to study their reactions. Both parties confirmed that no, there had been no issues or trouble before this one. “Rather violent for a first argument, wouldst thou not say?”
“Yes, your Majesty,” Triage wilted guiltily. “I didn’t expect it either.”
“Did thou agitate or assault the child, Roxem Boxem?” Luna wheeled over to ask.
“No! I never talked to the kid at all!” Roxem said defensively, scowling.
“So tell us then, right to the point, why thy child came to destroy Mister Boxem.” Luna commanded, lifting a hoof towards the frightened foal. He hid under his father’s barrel, refusing to stand on his box anymore. He knew it, he knew he’d get in big trouble with the Princess!
“Well, there was a hiccup in the rent on the fourth month I was staying there.” Triage said. “Something about the paperwork at the hospital, checks were received a week late. Mister Boxem didn’t like that.”
“I have a zero tolerance policy for late rent!” Roxem Boxem scowled. “You don’t pay, you don’t live in my properties!”
“Sh-sh-shh!” Luna snapped, hushing Roxem. “Continue, Triage.”
“W-well, I came home from work one day, and Mister Boxem was waiting for me. He lives on the third floor of the building I live in. He was up on the balcony, you see—!”
“And he came down to let thou know thy rent was late and to vacate?” Luna wanted to know.
“W-well, he came to shove me up to a wall and demand my rent, yes,” Triage said in a small voice. Luna’s eyes roamed his features, then flicked over to Roxem.
“That’s a lie!” Roxem Boxem shouted. “A dirty rotten lie!”
Luna’s searing gaze snapped back to Roxem and she set him with a glare. “We hath bade thee hush twice now, Roxem Boxem. If we need do it a third time, thou shalt be out of my court on thy two-wheeled backside!” The stallion gulped, wilting some. The audience murmured nervously in the background.
“He came down from the third-floor balcony to yell at me and wanted to know where his rent was. He was waving our rental agreement around, and wanted to know if I wanted my wife and foal out on the streets in Ponyville.” Triage said, gathering his courage as he spoke. “He said in a little town like Ponyville, everypony knows everypony and nopony would take us in if it got around that I couldn’t pay rent.”
“I see.” Luna said pensively, rubbing her chin lightly. “And Mister Boxem was there to give you the chance to pay up, yes?” Triage nodded confirmation. “In his own way, no doubt.” Luna eyed the injured stallion. “How did thy son get involved then? If thou were just returning from work, surely he was not outside alone?”
“We live on the first floor, he must've heard us through a window.”
“That’s heresy.” Luna waved a hoof dismissively. “Come out, little one. Pray tell us what you saw?” she tried to put on a gentle tone, even in the heat of the moment in the case.
Splint stuck his head around the table, saying meekly, “It’s true, I heard the grown-ups shouting.”
“About what?” Luna asked.
“Money. Mister Boxem had my daddy up against a wall. He said he wanted money so we could stay in our home,” said the wilt-eared colt. The poor thing looked ready to have a heart attack.
“I see…” Luna said. The colt was too terrified to lie and she felt bad for it, but foals were more honest than grown ponies. “What happened next?”
“I thought he was gonna hurt my daddy,” Splint said softly. “And Daddy can’t fight, Mommy doesn’t let him. She says he’s a pussy in the ring.”
“Splint!” Triage barked, flushing red. “What have I told you about using that word?!” The audience burst into laughter. Luna almost startled into scandalous laughter, but lifted a hoof to hide a mild smile instead. She would have to tell Cellie about this one.
Luna stamped a hoof a couple of times to regain order, coughing a bit. “So thou leapt into action to save thy Daddy, then?” the night time Princess asked. The colt nodded. “That was very brave of you, but not a habit I hope.” The colt shook his head no. “First time, then?” The child nodded. “Let it be the last then, understand?” Splint nodded again, blushing. “So what happened next?”
“I jumped out the window where I was coloring on Mister Boxem’s back before he hurt my Daddy too badly,” Splint stared at his hooves, half-hiding behind the table. “He bruises really easy…” the colt trailed off.
“Thy Daddy, or Mister Boxem?” Luna asked before she could stop herself.
“Er… both.” The colt said in a mousy voice. The audience murmured with laughter.
“That’s— hahaha…” Luna stopped a moment to compose herself. “Forgive us. Continuing! Thou jumped onto Mister Boxem’s back. Then what happened?”
The colt was silent for a time, as though counting something in his head. “I poked his eye, dislocated his shoulder, broke his left leg, locked his front pectoral, rotated his barrel,” he paused for breath, “bruised two dominant ribs, and laid him on his back,” the child recited rather robotically. There was a long, awkward silence in the courtroom. Luna blinked a few times, not expecting such a cold and medical list. An elderly stallion near the back of the courtroom mumbled an impressed swear word, cocking his eyebrow. “N-not very hard! Honest! I-I was just scared for my Daddy!”
Luna very suddenly saw the dynamo of Splint’s parentage. A championship martial artist and a highly-trained medical professional. Combined, they produced a power-house foal that could destroy anypony with very little effort. Physical knowledge to know where to strike, and physical prowess to know how to strike. Positively vicious. Triage’s cutie mark may have been a leg-cast-for-mending, but his son Splint’s hoof-in-a-cast cutie mark meant BREAKING. Good thing he was so meek, and had such a tight upbringing for using his skills. The Princess of the night fought down a very real shudder.
Roxem Boxem raised a hoof, wanting to speak so, so badly. Luna turned, nodding to him. “Look. I just want what’s mine to pay for the medical bills! The kid admits it, plain and simple! He assaulted me from behind when I wasn’t looking and now I gotta wheel myself around for a few months! It’s embarrassing!”
“Thou went to menace Mister Triage for monies and were set upon for it, it seems.” Luna said a little acidly, her brow lowering.
“I didn’t do anything to that kid! I didn’t provoke him!” Roxem blurted.
“Thou provoked a rescuer to a non-combatative pony, an extension of Equestria’s ‘Stand Thy Ground’ law,” Luna said. “As this law is recent, I hope thou knows of it?”
“Er…” Roxem Boxem said, cocking his head with a frown.
“’Stand Thy Ground’ allows a pony to use force, even deadly force, when encountering impending death or impending bodily injury—without fear of being arrested for it.”
“But that means I could just beat on anypony that I think might hit me!” blurted Roxem Boxem in disbelief. “That’s outrageous!”
“Neigh. It is not a bubble that follows thou around. It only applies if there is no doubt, none at all, that physical injury or death will occur.” Luna gestured to the colt on the other side of the tables. “While a colt’s judgement is far below that of a grown stallion, the same rule applies. He judged thou a true and un-doubtable threat, then leapt upon thee to save his sire.”
“The little brat broke one of my legs!” Roxem said, temper flaring.
“And thou art lucky to be alive, if the armored royal guard he just crushed is any indication,” Luna smirked just a little. Roxem shuddered, knowing it to be true. “But, if you must know, thou gave up thy case the moment thou confirmed to placing thy hooves on Mister Triage.”
“H-hey! Ponies don’t respect ya if you’re meek and kind! Doormats don’t get ahead in life!” Roxem argued. “If I wanted my rent I had to show ‘em who was boss! I didn’t hit the guy, I just--!”
“Shoved him into a wall, threatening to slander him and his family if he did not pay you right then?” Luna said with a scowl. “Triage, where art thou living now?” she turned to the other stallion.
“Er… Ponyville Inn.” Triage mumbled, blushing embarrassedly. “Pending how this case goes, we might have to move to another town. We can’t afford it much longer, not even with the winnings my wife brought with us from the last martial arts tournament.”
“I assume Mister Boxem evicted you shortly after his thrashing?” Luna nodded sagely, and the stallion confirmed. “Fair enough, they are his premises and he cannot be forced to house you for any reason. He is a private business owner and may evict whom he pleases for any reason stated in his contracts. His zero tolerance policy for late rent stands just fine in mine court, as thou signed the lease stating thus.” Luna scanned the lease agreement in front of her, tapping the appropriate line.
“Oh, I-I’m not here to argue about that, I just came to fight for my son!” Triage said. “Please don’t punish him! He—he didn’t know any better! My wife taught him too much, too early! It’s not his fault!”
“We agree, thy wife taught him too much.” Luna said a little tartly. “However, what is done is done.” Roxem’s chest inflated. This was it, this was it! “Thou art correct, Triage, a child cannot be sued in any standing court of law. Especially not for something as simple as assault! Why, every schoolyard fight would turn into a fiery legal battle!” she snorted, rolling her eyes. “Therefore, my judgement falls onto you instead of your son.” Triage gulped, and Roxem leaned forward a bit. Luna considered for a time, reviewing the facts and documents in front of herself. She closed her eyes and heaved a bit of a sigh. “Roxem Boxem, thy case falls flat because thou assaulted Mister Triage first. While Splint’s reaction was above and beyond not only a normal response but MOST responses for ponies his age— I cannot within the law’s grasp grant you the monies you want for your medical bills.”
“What?!” Roxem gasped. “But--! But look at me!” he said, gesturing to his wheels and his bruises and his broken body. “I’mma mess!”
“Self-defense is rarely an ironclad defense, Roxem,” Luna said with a frown. “However, as I said, the moment thou placed thy hooves on Triage, you lost all garuntee of safety for thyself. He is entitled to defend himself, or to have another defend him if he cannot.”
“I didn’t rough him up!” Roxem said, aghast.
“Touching is enough.” Luna shook her head. “The moment something becomes in any way physical, most legal arguments like yours crumble.”
“W-wait! I caught the worst of this! You can’t just—!”
“Your case is dismissed!” Luna stamped a gilded hoof down on the marble floor. “Consider thyself lucky thy neck is in one piece, with such a destructive foal upon thy back,” she said a bit less gently. Roxem wilted miserably. “Perhaps thou shalt learn the foal’s lesson here: keep thy hooves to thyself!” Triage knelt down to embrace his son. They nuzzled affectionately as Roxem wheeled his way out, yelping a little when his wheels got stuck on the lip of the gate on the way out of the courtroom. “Triage!” Luna said, rising from the throne. He looked up at her, eyebrows up in mild fear. “Please put thy hoof down and allow thy foal no more combat training in the future, huhm? Leaving the catastrophic injury-causing to thy wife.”
“Y-yes your majesty!” Triage promised, blushing and nodding vigorously. Splint peered up at the Princess with large, innocent eyes as they stood there. “C’mon buddy, c’mon, we’re heading home…” he whispered to his son, trying to soothe him. He herded the little colt out of the courtroom, and the cameras followed them the whole way until they were out the door.
“My judgment is made!” Luna barked, seating herself again. “Let the next case be brought before me!”
End Case 2
Haven't laughed like this in ages
That was amusing, I laughed at the 'my mommy says my daddy is a pussy in the ring' part.
Good job.
Judge Luna is a little biased, methinks.
Eh, I'm with Boxem on this one.
....
well i think luna should have made the child go into some sorta of anger management class
also
umm luna the kid poked his eye, dislocated his shoulder, broke his left leg, locked his front pectoral, rotated his barrel,” he paused for breath, “bruised two dominant ribs, and laid him on his back. I do not think that would happen in a schoolyard fight. Although the kid has shown to have violent tendencies so perhaps it could happen if he got into a fight.
and the kid got off with no punishment even the HE PUT SOMEPONY IN THE HOSPITAL
That kid... is Shining Armor's replacement...
I can see him passing basic with out any problems and going commando once he finishes it
LOVE SPLINT! That was totally awesome! With that level of disproportionate strength, any chance he's related to Derpy?
And there goes soda out my nose from laughing. Ow
Seems pretty harsh on the landlord
Seems like Roxom could actually call for an appeal, I actually felt he deserved some sort of compensation as Luna was quite biased in this case for the foal.
As in this case the Stand The Ground law (as determined) Was not a justifiable level of force! You can't just near kill someone if you think they are 'going' to rough you up! One hand on you is not a determining level of force to break someone's legs else it'd be madness.
If Luna was to touch someone in a way like she had presented it, she is essentially allowing for someone to snap her from the waist down. If she was to touch her bailiff, under the way she judged it he could legally be obligated to snap her like a twig.
100% INCORRECT!
I mean, look at . Element of Kindness, has great friends, one of many best friends is a princess, personally knows .
I'd say, Boxem is a complete nimrod who has no life.
2714934
2715053
The problem resides in the legality of the situation.
It doesnt matter how much pain Boxem suffered. The very moment he placed his hooves on the kid's father it was considered assault.
So yeah, you could argue that the retribution was disproportionate, but it was legal.
So yeah. Maybe Luna was biased. But still, you know, legal stuff.
2714947
I disagree. There was no element of rage. Kid got scared, kid reacted.
2714956
I was half expecting Luna to offer the kid a job right then and there.
2715091
kid nearly killed somepony
kid gets off with no punishment
2714947 the kid has no PRIOR anger or violent history. Any child would try and do what they can to keep family safe, the kid simply had more knowledge and practice that worked WELL for such a situation. I disagree with your claims about the kid.
2715105>>2715053
Kid is a kid.
Kids dont have an adult's level of reasoning.
Kid used his abilities to defend his father.
Kid is a kid, therefore he used way too much strength. It was legal.
2715078
Florida Castle Doctrine (Aka, stand your ground)
However!
And no, it's not legal to feel that if someone touches you, you can legally murder them.
2715115
You do realize that law is not exactly the same in each state? In each country? In each continent?
In each.. i dont know... fictional world?
loved that one
2715123
Judge Judy analogue that quotes the Stand 'thy' ground castle doctrine.
Legality may not be the same, maybe not, but I feel that it was a wrong judgement, and I'll stand by it.
Although there is disagreement as to how this particular case was handled, I think that all of us can agree that Splint's parents may as well just rename him "Kenshiro" and be done with it. It may not prevent repeat episodes, but at the very least, nobody's going to be surprised if it happens again.
2715113
lets agree with three things
1. the victim should get compensation money
2.the kid should get some sort of teaching about his strength
3.luna was a bit biased
2715105
Kid was not the aggressor. At least, not with his world view. Therefore, I don't think anger management would help him any. That's all I meant.
2715115
That makes it sound like any landlord can come into your house and beat you up, because he's 'legally' able to enter under 2a. There's gotta be more to that law.
Now I remember why I don't want to become a lawyer... it's messy
2715140
I can only agree with number 2.
But its ok, i dont hate you more than i hate my boss.
2715141
Yes, but he wasn't beating him up now was he? A hoof to the shoulder was mentioned and that was it.
If the way it went on there was, you could have someone in your home, have someone touch you, then legally beat them to death apparently because of your belief.
2715145
its fine thats what i believe what should have happened
no one has the exact some opinion
well i gtg
2715155
I agree with the first part. I was just thinking that if what you quoted was all the law, some crooked landlord might try and use the loophole of "I'm legally allowed to be here because I own it and therefore 'stand your/thy ground' doesn't apply." I'm sure the real law is longer and messier and not worth going into (especially on a fanfiction comment page).
But I disagree with the second part, because "having someone in my home" implies that I let them into my house in the first place and therefore my dwelling was not 'forcibly entered' as required in 1a, and I would lose that lawsuit.
That kid reminds me of Gohan.....
Are ponies on death row converted into glue-sticks?
Oshit, glue factory detected.
Ehhff.
Boxem is still screwed without some kind of compensation or insurance. Regardless of how unlikable this story made him out to be, it's not enough to warrant the vicious cycle of a miserable financial situation. I also don't buy the family getting off completely Scott-free. That kid is not normal, despite this story using the situation for humor, and he and his parents should be evaluated.
2715091 I was half expecting Luna to say: "Has thou ever thought of seeking a job in security?"
That kid has a future as a guard. Or murderer. And Boxem's gonna start losing businesses and might have some kind of nervous breakdown.
I have to say, this was mildly ... unsatisfying, because it certainly doesn't feel like justice was served. The opposite, if anything. While Boxem's attempts to go for physical intimidation leave a lot to be desired (and he might well get some official warning for that) and in no way hold my sympathy, it in no way justifies what was done to him in turn. The response was clearly disproportionate (and I sure don't think that Stand the Ground was written with the spirit of this outcome in mind ... because if it indeed allows to inflict grievous injury upon anyone the moment they touch you, than that's one absurd law), and even if the foal can't be held answerable due to age, his parents most certainly should be brought to task as they have clearly failed in proper parenting and teaching of responsibility while imbuing their son with all the tools to cripple someone at the drop of a hat, which he did.
At the very least, they should have been forced to pay for Boxem's medical bills, irregardless of what sort of reprimand Boxem himself gets for his tasteless approach about the rent. Luna dropped the ball here, I almost wish Boxem hired Twilight here as his lawyer and went for an appeal, because as it stands he was the ultimately suffering party here, and the law under which he was allowed to get hurt is comically irresponsible and lacks any sense of proportion or moderation in terms of both the harm you are allowed to inflict upon the "offender", and the trigger condition (simply physically touching someone else). I have a feeling Twilight could rip it to shreds were she to put her mind to it.
So ... yeah, justice was not served this day.
The next case should have a masked plaintiff. That way, Luna can't read his facial expressions, thereby making it harder for her to side against him.
Just a couple of minor errors: "garuntee" should be spelt "guarantee", and "heresy" is an opinion strongly contrary to God, while "hearsay" is the report of another's words by a witness.
Well, no matter how much of an A-hole Roxem was, that's injustice. I know Splint is a foal and simply went too far, but Roxem should've gotten some money from this. Yes, he gave an intimidating show of words and appearance then slightly harmed Triage with a rough shove, but that only really gives one the legal violence of pushing him away. So I believe Roxem should've gotten something, but not everything he wanted. I did like this episode and I look forward to more in the future, just understand that the statue of justice is (usually) blind folded
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The hearsay heresy thing got me confused too. I was like what?
I have to agree with a lot of other people here. Justice was not served. Not only does Luna's legal reasoning not make sense, it sends the colt a very wrong message. Cherilee definitely needs to talks to her students on the tape, and make sure nopony tries to mimic the kid.
As it stands, this episode makes me seriously reconsider my favorite and like evaluations on Judge Luna, as it has failed to provide me with meaningful entertainment and actually left me very unsatisfied with the judgment made. I really hope nothing similar happens in the third episode as I saw so much potential in the first one. I really don't want this feeling of... injustice visit me via this fanfic again. I beg you to consider what I said.
Good chapter, but it needs a complete and thorough proofread and edit. In particular, you used "heresy" when you MEANT "hearsay", and your grasp of Ye Olde Butchered Englishe is TERRIBLE and you should not use it until you bone up on it.
Justice is rarely served in the real world so I don't really see why people are complaining about it here. For example, December 2009 a Texas man shoots a hooker in the neck, she dies a few months later. He had no charges filed against him because she was in possession of some of his property while leaving his premises, therefore stealing. In the great state of Texas you can legally shoot them for stealing and trying to leave your property no matter what it is or if they are armed. He wasn't even charged with soliciting prostitution, which is illegal. The day before this happened a man in a nearby town stole a rack of ribs worth 35$, he got 50 years in prison because he happened to have a knife in his pocket and it constituted as armed robbery.
The short of it, enjoy paying taxes for 50 years for a man who wanted some food 2 days before Christmas while a known killer goes about his business.
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Oh trust me, I agree. Luna is the more draconian of the two sisters, in my interpretation.
Self-defense and stand your ground and such are very sensitive topics.
If it were ME up on the Judge's stand, I probably would've made Triage pay for half of the medical bills, since his son CLEARLY went overboard.
But, in light of Luna's bombastic and sometimes self-righteous personality, she had no sympathy for Roxem Boxem. :(
I'll try to steer away from violence in the next few cases, I promise.
2716641 Okay, so one guy gets away with hiring a prostitute and murder, and the other is sent to prison for 50 years for stealing $35 ribs?
Aegis, do you think you can get Judge Luna in the real world for a year or two?
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its fine no need
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2717061 Looking back on my previous comment, it is kinda silly, but 50 years for a $35 thing of ribs is just ridiculous, letting someone get away with murder 100x more so.
This is some real funny stuff.
Just imagine a judge fluttershy.... She would have you EXECUTED for stepping on a LADYBUG!!!! oh wait got m- AH HELP ME!!!!!!!
2716717
It's less violence, and more you quoted one of the MOST controversial laws within the United States right now.