In Search of Harmony
Week nine.
Fluttershy sat in the dark, a bowl of stew on the floor next to her. Before her lay Fine Crime… except that he wasn’t Fine Crime anymore: he was something else entirely. The stallion resting on that rack looked like him, but there was no way he was of the same mind.
He was shouting. He was always shouting. “Are you just going to sit there and stare at me!? What am I, a freak for your amusement? Maybe I missed my calling in life. Maybe I should have joined the circus! Ladies and gentleman, behold our very own freak of nature! Don’t come too close, he bites!”
He snapped his teeth at the air demonstrably, a vicious snarl coming from his throat with each click. “I have an idea, let’s line up everypony in Ponyville! Charge admissions! You’ll make a fortune, but remember to keep the shock collar charged ‘cause wooo-we does this dog wanna chase! And rip and maim and decapitate, but who’s keeping track?”
He’d been at this for nearly thirty minutes, ever since she’d come to feed him. And she knew that he would keep it up for hours, even if she left. She kept her head bowed, wishing she could be anywhere but here. She began to tune his vitriol out, but the fury and callousness of his tone still rang through. The first time he’d been like this she’d been reduced to tears. A few times after, too. But now she was just miserable. And scared, scared that this might not work after all. What if everything had backfired? What if he remained like this forever?
He let out a scream so loud she couldn’t ignore it, her eyes jerking up to investigate. But he was still strapped down, unable to even glance at her. “Pay attention to me you little cunt! Isn’t that why you’re here, to comfort me!? Some comfort you’ve been, with your stupid fucking songs and stories. I’ve got a story for you!”
He was beyond communication by this point. She knew better than to try. Worse, he was beyond helping. Until he calmed down there was no way she’d be able to feed him; she’d tried once and was rewarded with porridge on her muzzle.
She wanted to help him. She was almost desperate; most of the time she couldn’t feed him, and he would accept no comfort at all. For a time she had been able to use The Stare to calm him down, but lately even that was proving fruitless. She was failing at her task, but what was she supposed to do when he was so furious?
At last she turned away, leaving the bowl behind.
“Oh, what, you’re leaving now? But I wasn’t finished. Hey, I’m talking to you! Get the fuck back here and feed me! You pathetic…” She closed the door, reducing his horrid shouting to indecipherable noises. With a deep and dejected sigh she sat, leaning heavily against the door. Tears were welling up in her eyes.
He couldn’t be managed. There was simply no way.
She needed help.
The two pegasi darted through the Ponyville sky. “So why are we going to the library again?” Lightning asked. “I’m supposed to be picking up Keen from Lyra right now.”
“Twilight’s called all of us together for a meeting,” Rainbow answered from the lead.
Lightning caught up so that she could properly show her disapproval. “Shouldn’t that just involve you and the other Element Bearers?”
“Nope, you guys too,” Rainbow answered confidently. “Apparently something big’s going on.”
Lightning let out an annoyed huff. “Maybe they finally figured out where Fine’s been hiding all this time.”
“That would be a miracle,” Rainbow agreed.
The two landed before the library’s front door, already opened as Rarity was going in. “Oh, hello Rainbow Dash, Lightning Dust,” she said, turning upon their arrival. "Have you any idea why Fluttershy is arranging this gathering? I've got a big order I'm supposed to be putting together right now.”
“Wait, Fluttershy called the meeting?” Rainbow asked in surprise.
“Oh great,” Lightning grumbled, “it’s probably some ‘emergency’ involving her animals.”
“Nevertheless we are all attending,” Octavia noted, appearing at the door beside Rarity with a proper air. “You shouldn’t be so quick to judge, Lightning.”
“Yeah yeah, let’s just get this over with,” Lightning answered unpleasantly.
Having all the Element Bearers and all of Luna’s team – sans Fine Crime – in the Library saw it noisier than usual. Pinkie in particular was sounded particularly excited... not that such was uncommon. “Hey, Rainbow! Lightning!” She darted in front of them, bouncing excitedly. “Hey hey, wanna start a party? Come on, everypony’s here already!”
Rainbow grinned at Pinkie’s enthusiasm. “I’d love to, Pinkie Pie, but I think it should wait until after the meeting.”
“A party does sound a lot more fun than this,” Lightning admitted with a gesture around the room. Rarity, still nearby, cast a lecturing frown in her direction, though. “Then again maybe we should go ahead and hear what Fluttershy has to say.”
Pinkie stopped bouncing and cast around at the other ponies. “Yeah, I guess it can wait, but after the meeting we’ll have a Just Because Party!”
“She’s been trying to drum up a party ever since she got here,” Nye noted as he approached the two pegasi. “Nopony’s getting all that enthusiastic about it, though. Hey hottie.”
Rainbow blushed a deep crimson, casting a glower at Lightning’s smirk. “Hey Nye, what’s up?”
“Can’t tell ya, too many ponies present.”
That one had Lightning laughing raucously.
Rainbow’s face went even more red than before as she began shoving him away from Lightning. “Shut up and stop trying to embarrass me!”
Lightning left the two lovebirds alone to see what she could learn about this little meeting. She found Twilight, Upper Crust and Applejack talking in a corner. “Hey girls.” They all turned to greet her pleasantly. “So what’s up with this meeting? Maybe the Princesses found a cure for Discord?”
The girls all frowned. Twilight shook her head despondently. “I haven’t heard anything from Celestia about that.”
“Still a lawn ornament, huh?”
“Ya shouldn’ talk about em that way, Lightnin’,” Applejack lectured. “He really helped us out over in Nildia.”
Upper Crust nodded seriously. “He went from monster to hero almost overnight thanks to his sacrifice. You should be more respectful.”
Lightning glowered at them; she still didn’t buy the idea that Discord had turned good. Still it was better to be diplomatic, a trait she was steadily learning now that she had so many… friends? Allies? Teammates? “Sorry, I’m still not used to the idea.” She decided to steer the conversation in a new direction. “Speaking of Nildia, have there been any of those freak waves since you guys came back?”
“That, at least, I have good news about,” Twilight answered with a relieved smile. “Looks like they’ve all stopped. I guess Tazel decided to quit after all.”
“Yeah,” Applejack agreed hesitantly, “but ah gotta wonder what happened ta her. Ah mean she was a mighty serious threat, an’ now she’s jus’ gone? Somethin’s not right.”
“I’m concerned too,” Upper Crust admitted, “but all we can do now is wait and see.”
“Upper Crust’s right,” Twilight agreed. “There’s no point agonizing over it now. All we can really do is wait and try to be prepared for if she comes back.” She cast a glance around the library. “I think everypony’s here, so why don’t we get this meeting started?”
It took a little time to get everypony arranged in a semicircle facing the small podium, which Twilight had pulled out of her basement for the meeting. Once they were all situated she went to stand at the podium, a big book hovering before her. “Okay Fluttershy, I found the book. Are you sure this is the one you wanted?”
She sounded very skeptical, but after inspecting the cover Fluttershy nodded confidently. “That’s the one.” The book dropped onto the podium and began to flip through pages of its own accord. The two mares had a brief discussion trying to find the proper page.
“Okay,” Twilight turned to the group to address them properly. “Thanks for coming, everypony. Fluttershy asked us all to come here for something important, so let’s give her our undivided attention.”
Fluttershy hesitated before the podium as Twilight stepped aside. She didn't seem her usual timid self, but it was clear to many that something was bothering her. At last she nodded, as if confirming something to herself, and stood before the podium proper. “Um, everypony, thanks for coming. There’s really no easy way to say this… so I’ll just read from the book, if that’s okay.”
She lowered her head and found the passage with a hoof. “This is a medical journal about psychological conditions… um, that is, mind sicknesses. This entry is about the bloodmane:
“A severe but thankfully rare mental disorder, the origins of which are largely unknown. Bloodmanes are driven by an innate compulsion for violence and m…m…murder.” She paused a moment, as if saying the word had been taxing. “…all ponies who become bloodmanes need to k-k-kill at regular intervals. Bloodmanes can resist this temptation, but doing so causes terrible withdrawal symptoms. There is…”
“Whoa whoa, hold it!” Applejack took a step forward, face concerned. “Fluttershy, why in Celestia’s name are ya readin’ us this?”
“I have to ask the same thing,” Twilight agreed nervously, and all the ponies present were clearly feeling the same way. “I mean it’s interesting in a morbid kind of way, but why would you of all ponies want to share it?”
Fluttershy glanced around timidly, fumbling for the right words. “W-well… you see… there’s something you all need to know.”
“What, that you’re a bloodmane?” Rainbow asked jokingly. “Come on, Fluttershy, not a very good prank.”
“Oh no, not me,” Fluttershy responded. “Fine Crime.”
Silence. Every pony in the room was staring at her, quiet alarm on each and every face. They all were thinking the same thing: for Fine Crime that was an easy thing to imagine.
Nye was the first to respond, letting out a weak chuckle. “O-okay, Fluttershy, that’s a good one. You had us going there, right guys?”
Fluttershy glanced away anxiously and said nothing, making his chuckles die slowly.
“Surely you aren’t serious,” Octavia noted hesitantly, taking a step forward to better observe Fluttershy. “I mean, he keeps away from us, true, but to call him a murderer…” Once more the pegasus didn’t answer, and she was unable to look any of them in the eye.
Twilight approached and set a hoof to her friend’s shoulder. “Fluttershy, really?”
The mare sat heavily beside the podium. She looked as though she were going to cry, her lip trembling and her mane covering half her face. “He made me promise not to tell anypony, but I can’t keep this up. I need help…”
“Wait, did he do something to you?” Lightning asked in sudden alarm.
“What’s he done?” Jimmy asked darkly. “Did he threaten you or something?”
“No!” Fluttershy paused, reconsidered. “Well… yes… lately he’s been doing a lot of threatening. But…”
“Why that indecent hooligan,” Rarity snapped fiercely, running over to grab her friend in a tight hug. “What did he say, what did he do? I promise you we’ll make him pay for whatever it was!”
“He didn’t hurt me,” the pegasus insisted quickly, breaking away from the embrace. “I appreciate you all wanting to protect me, but that’s not the kind of help I need.”
“No?” Upper Crust asked, perplexed. “Then what did you need?”
Fluttershy sighed and stood before them all again, gesturing Rarity away so she could proper have everypony’s attention. “Fine thought he knew how to cure being a bloodmane, and he asked me to help him do it. Right now he’s back at his home, undergoing… umm… ‘the treatment.’ I agreed to help him, because I knew he needed it.”
“Ooooh,” Nye interrupted, “so that’s why you’ve been visiting the Everfree Forest so much lately!”
“Is that also why nopony has seen him in over two months?” Octavia asked.
Fluttershy nodded. “He’s completely immobilized, and can’t leave his house. The longer he goes without… without… um…”
“…killing…?” Jimmy asked fretfully.
Fluttershy swallowed the lump in her throat. “…yes… the longer he goes without doing… that… the worst his symptoms become.”
“Wait,” Applejack interceded, “yer tellin’ us that Fine Crime’s a murderer?”
“How many ponies has he killed?” Rainbow added darkly.
The yellow mare frowned and glanced away. “Umm… I don’t want to know… but… the sickness makes him need to kill somepony at least once every three weeks.”
“What!?” Twilight took a horrified step back. “Are you serious? That’s seventeen murders a year! How long has he been doing this?”
“Since he was sixteen,” Fluttershy answered sadly. “He’s thirty now.”
“Celestia have mercy…” Rarity whispered.
“How did the Princess ever expect us to work with somepony like that?” Octavia asked in horror.
“Why was she working with him to begin with?” Upper Crust asked worriedly.
“Maybe she doesn’ know,” Applejack ventured hesitantly.
“She does,” Twilight corrected solemnly. “It all makes so much sense now! Celestia told me there were things about him she couldn’t share, and why else would Cadance not like him? She gets along with everypony!”
“That doesn’t explain why Luna would willing work hoof-in-hoof with a psychopath,” Jimmy reminded them.
“He’s not a psychopath!” Fluttershy shrank back at their combined gaze, but knew she had to defend Fine. “He’s just sick. He didn’t choose to be a bloodmane, and he hates having to… to kill. That’s why he’s trying to cure himself!”
The ponies surrounding her all shared dubious looks, and she was beginning to realize that they might not be willing to help after all. Worry filled her, but what else was she supposed to say? She thought frantically for some other argument…
Lightning flew over the others and landed beside Fluttershy, face firm. “I’ll help you, Fluttershy.”
“What?” Rainbow rose up into the air angrily. “Why would you wanna help a guy like that!?”
Lightning was prepared to meet them glare-for-glare. “Maybe he is a murderer, but ya know what? He saved my life in Foal Mountains, and Keen’s too. If not for him my little filly would be a changeling right now. Those of us who work for Luna all owe him: we wouldn’t even be here if Fine hadn’t decided we deserved it in the first place!”
Not everypony appeared convinced, but more than a few shared guilty expressions. Fluttershy was surprised; she’d never expected Lightning to step forward first. Feeling a lot more comfortable now that she had an ally she stood to her full height and turned her hopeful gaze on the others.
“I’ll help,” Upper Crust declared, stepping up and smiling pleasantly. “I took a very hard fall because of Fine, but thanks to that I’ve opened my eyes to what I was and what I wanted to be.” She cast her eyes on the others and added with emphasis, “He deserves to have the same opportunity he gave me.”
“Far be it for us to stand by and do nothing,” Rarity added regally.
“Ah guess we should give em a chance,” Applejack agreed hesitantly.
Twilight took a step forward to catch Fluttershy’s attention. “If this works, he won’t kill anymore?” Her friend nodded, and she considered this for a few moments before turning to the others. “I guess we’re all in agreement, then?”
Nopony objected, much to Fluttershy’s relief; she dropped her head with a heavy sigh. “Thank you everypony! I don’t think I could have kept this up much longer on my own.”
“What’s so bad about the treatment?” a puzzled Octavia asked.
Fluttershy shivered, recalling the last time she’d seen Fine. “Umm… you’ll just have to see it for yourself.”
Rainbow Dash hovered through the air just below the forest’s canopy, keeping a constant lookout for dangers. “You know I used to wonder why the heck Fine lived way out in the Everfree Forest, but now it sorta makes sense.”
Octavia was behind and below her, and wasn’t paying much attention at all to the woods. Unlike her pegasus companion she had a large saddle that held a pair of meals for the waiting Fine. She spoke with her usual regal air, “And what conclusions have you made?”
“He didn’t want to hurt anypony,” Rainbow replied. “He had to be trying to protect Ponyville from himself.”
“I suspected as much myself,” Octavia admitted. “I suppose his intentions are laudable.”
“Now if I could just understand why Zecora lives out here,” Rainbow noted sourly, dropping a bit lower to avoid some branches.
It had been three days since Fluttershy’s ominous revelation. In that time she and Twilight had gone to Fine’s home daily so that the latter – better at explanations – might be able to instruct the others. After the third day they’d had another meeting to discuss what the ponies would do when it was their turn to look after the bloodmane. It would mostly be two ponies at a time and the teams would be decided upon randomly, both because nopony felt particularly comfortable volunteering to be first.
Except Pinkie, who seemed particularly enthusiastic about the whole thing. Everypony simply accepted that as her ‘just being Pinkie Pie,’ though. There was plenty of alarm when she drew the longest straw. This made her last… and alone. Nopony else thought she was up to the task.
But that was something to be dealt with at the end of the week. Rainbow and Octavia had drawn the shortest straws, so they were the first pair. Octavia wasn’t certain she liked the pairing, but Rainbow hadn’t complained at all so she chose not to as well. Thus far the journey had been uneventful, and neither of them spoke too much. This didn’t bother Octavia; when it came to having things in common neither of them could have had a worse partner.
Rainbow slowed to let Octavia catch up, rays of sunlight shimmering off her wings as she dropped to the dirt. “Hey, you and Fine seem pretty tight,” she noted curiously, walking alongside her partner once she caught up. “You been to his place before?”
“I’m afraid not,” Octavia confessed. “As… ahem, ‘tight’ as others think we are he never invited me to visit.” She noticed how Rainbow was glancing around at the trees. There was something uncomfortable about her mood, as if the pegasus were on edge. “Is something the matter?”
“No no, nothing’s the matter,” Rainbow answered, her hurried tone entirely unconvincing. “It’s just that I think I might recognize this area. It’s weird, I’ve never been on this path before but I feel like I’ve been out here.”
“Well the path is very new,” Octavia noted. She wanted to carefully avoid suggesting that her partner might be afraid, though she certainly was showing signs of it. “Perhaps you came to this area before it was cut.”
Rainbow chewed her lip as they neared a curve in the path. “Yeah, I suppose. It’s just that if weheheer…” Her sentence died with a strange, weak sound as they rounded the corner, at last coming upon the home of Fine Crime. Her eyes went wide with abrupt fear at the sight of the familiar four-story building, its walls of dark lumber. Its form was as imposing as she remembered, tall and wide and just barely fitting within the clearing it had been built in. “…oh crap.”
Octavia didn’t notice how Rainbow had stopped walking until she was halfway to the door. She turned around to find the pegasus sitting in a stunned manner just at the edge of the clearing. “Rainbow?”
“A-are you sure this is the place?” Rainbow asked nervously, gesturing to the house with a hoof.
“We followed Twilight’s directions to the letter,” Octavia answered. She glanced between the house and Rainbow inquisitively. “I’ll admit it’s big, but I think your response is a bit much.”
Rainbow’s head drooped as she eyed the trees surrounding the house. “I remember this place now,” she muttered. “It’s dangerous. Fine actually lives here?”
“What are you afraid of?”
“I’m not afraid!” Rainbow stood tall and made a good showing of trotting up to the front door. “I’m just being cautious, that’s all. Last time I came here things went… badly. That’s all.”
Her repeating phrases was giving her away. Octavia followed behind, studying Rainbow curiously. “So what happened?”
Rainbow hesitated before pulling open one of the two front doors and letting her partner in first. “Let’s just say that you don’t wanna leave the clearing, especially behind the house. You might not come back.”
The two found themselves in a large ballroom, perhaps two stories tall. Octavia thought it rather fashionable; the wood-paneled walls were dark but not oppressively so, the tall staircases at the back of the room were of an exquisite design, and the whole place was illuminated by a pair of high, iron chandeliers. All in all she thought it impressive.
Rainbow let out a whistle as she closed the door and flew to hover near the center of the room. “Nice digs! Fine must be loaded with bits. Who knew?”
Octavia took a moment to reach into her pack and pull out some directions on a small scroll. “According to Twilight’s instructions we’ll find Fine in the Southeast tower. Um…” She glanced about the room at the three exiting halls and the two staircases. After a moment of further reading she made her way to the stairs on their right. “This way, I think.”
She glanced up at Rainbow, who was studying one of the chandeliers curiously. “So what’s beyond the clearing behind the house?”
Her partner gave her an annoyed look. “Listen, I promised Scoots and Nye not to share. Okay?”
“Ah,” Octavia replied intuitively, “it must have been that camping trip the three of you took.”
Rainbow floated over to land on the balcony just as she reached the top of the stairs. “Yeah, that’s the one.”
“This way.” Octavia led them into a nearby room which appeared to be a lounge. She eyed Rainbow curiously as they went on to a nearby hallway. “Speaking of Nye, what in Equestria made you decide to date him?”
Rainbow frowned and made a huffing sound. “Everypony keeps asking me that. Nye’s got his good traits, y’know.” She gained a suspecting glower, as if waiting for Octavia to make some sort of mocking comment.
But in truth she was very interested. “What kind of good traits?”
Rainbow smiled. Whether it was at Octavia’s honest attention or her own thoughts her partner couldn’t decide. “He makes me laugh.”
Octavia couldn’t help giggling. “I’ll grant you that one.”
“He’s just about the nicest guy you’ll ever meet.”
“Make that two,” Octavia acknowledged, though she was far from convinced. She waited for the next point, but it didn’t come. She glanced back and saw Rainbow glance hurriedly away with a blush. “What?”
Rainbow hesitated, glancing about as if afraid somepony might overhear. “You did not hear this from me. If you say anything I’ll deny it.” She waited for Octavia’s uncertain nod before going on. “He’s… cute.”
That made her pause. “Cute? You really think Nye is cute?”
“Well… yeah.” Rainbow couldn’t meet her partner’s eye. “I know most mares think Jimmy’s the attractive one, but there’s something about Nye. He’s just so soft, sorta like…” She made an anxious sound and shook her head. “Uh-uh, not saying that one out loud.”
Octavia giggled at her friend’s red face and went back to walking, studying the scroll. “To each her own, I suppose.”
Rainbow seemed to think she was being laughed at. She followed behind and added seriously, “Also, he’s loyal. As the Bearer of Loyalty you can imagine that’s important to me. And might I add he’s very dependable.”
“Dependable.” Octavia gave her a skeptical look. “Dependable at what, being late for work? Making cider rainbooms?”
Now Rainbow was getting testy. “I’ll have you know he once fought his own fears in order to rescue me. Saved my life!”
Octavia came to a stop, not certain she’d heard that correctly. “He did?”
Rainbow walked on, head held high. “Yeah, and nearly got killed himself in the process. Took a nasty hit to his leg too; he was limping for weeks, poor fella. He might seem slow to act or hesitant, but when it really matters Nye will be there for me, which means a lot.”
Octavia almost couldn’t believe her ears. “You really care about him. I’m sorry to say this, but I always suspected you were just humoring him.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Rainbow turned to her, eyelids lowered threateningly.
“I meant no offense,” she answered apologetically. “I’m glad you told me: I feel a lot better about what he brings to our team because of it. So thank you for that. Umm… this way.”
She went on nervously, hoping Rainbow wouldn’t stay angry. To her relief the pegasus appeared at her side with a friendly smile. “Ah don’t worry about it. I’d have doubted him too if I were in your horseshoes. While we’re talking about coltfriends,” she nudged Octavia playfully with an elbow, “what about you? There are plenty of stallions interested in ya, trust me.”
Octavia rolled her eyes in annoyance. “So I’ve heard. I wish they’d leave me alone.”
“Because you’ve already got one?”
“Because I’m not interested,” she countered with a haughty tone. “I’m trying to build a career, and that leaves me no time to be chased by stallions.”
“Seriously?” Rainbow sounded shocked. “But what about you and Jimmy?”
That surprised her. “Jim? Why would you think I’m interested in him?”
“You two just seem really close,” Rainbow answered nervously. “He’s always visiting you, or so Nye says. Ever since you two fought together in the Crystal Empire – which was awesome, by the way! – I sorta assumed…”
“He visits Rarity often as well,” Octavia noted, maintaining her proud demeanor. “Jim is like me: no time for relationships. I think we could be considered kindred spirits in that regard. Besides I think he just likes to be with ponies of high class.”
“I guess.” They came to a pause in a large, undecorated room. A quick scan showed the room to be completely empty. “Hey, this is a dead end! Are ya sure you read Twiilight’s instructions right?”
“You and Pinkie Pie were so busy with that prank on Applejack that you completely missed this part,” Octavia noted with an annoyed expression. She walked to one of the walls near a corner and, after studying her scroll for a moment, set her hoof against the wall and pressed. A quiet thunking noise suggested something had just unlocked, and one of the wall’s panels slid away with a swishing sound.
“Whoa, secret room.” Rainbow cried, taking a closer look at the hidden panel. “That’s cool! I’m starting to like this place a lot more.”
Octavia put away her scroll and hesitated before the dark stairwell before them. “According to Twilight’s notes, Fine should be in a room at the top of these stairs.”
“Great, let’s get going.”
She cast a worried glance at Rainbow, who was already beginning her ascent. “Aren’t you worried about what we might find?”
“Nah, it’s just Fine Crime,” her partner declared confidently. “He’s supposed to be tied down, remember? What’s so scary about that?”
Octavia wasn’t convinced, but followed anyway. “I just want to be prepared.”
Rainbow fired a confident grin back at her confidently as they approached the door at the top of the staircase. “Come on, how bad could it be?”
The moment the door opened they were assaulted by furious screams. Upper Crust and Applejack covered their ears, cringing at the sheer volume of the noise.
“I don’t wanna do this anymore! Let me out! Damn it Flutterbitch, get over here before I…!”
Applejack slammed the door, eyes wide as Fine’s voice was reduced to indecipherable shouting. “Horseapples! Rainbow said he was loud but ah wasn’ expectin’ anythin’ like this.”
Upper Crust sat on the top step, rubbing her ears. “He sounds positively furious! I can understand why Fluttershy was having such a difficult time.”
They both raised an ear to the door, trying to make some sense of Fine’s screaming. Applejack’s lips curled to an impatient frown. “Maybe we should go in. No point waitin’.”
Upper Crust didn’t seem so sure. “I was thinking maybe we should let him tire out. His lungs can’t keep that up forever.”
But Applejack was determined. “Twiligh’ said he calms down once he has a ‘vision,’ whatever that is. Ah’m gonna go in, try ta encourage one.”
Her partner sighed and stood up. “Alright, we’ll go. I wish we’d thought to bring earplugs.”
They opened the door again and found that Fine’s screams hadn’t decreased any in volume. They took Fluttershy’s advice and didn’t pay attention to his words, instead spending several seconds trying to get used to the noise and fighting not to cover their ears. Applejack, not wanting to listen any longer than she had to, moved quickly to the table and reared back so her front hooves were on the rack. She couldn’t believe the sight: he was strapped down tighter than a Hearth’s Warming Eve present!
Fine’s rage came to an abrupt end when he spotted her. “Wait, you’re not Flutterbitch.”
It took all Applejack’s willpower not to crack a hoof across his jaw for the insulting name. “Are ya gonna calm down so we can feed ya?”
“Oh, be calm she says. Yeah, we can be calm!” He launched into another tirade, spittle running down his cheek. Applejack cringed and considered decking him.
She saw Upper Crust move to the other side of the rack, eyeing Fine’s restricted form. She reached a hoof to tug at one of the bands holding his front legs down, eyebrows raised in alarm. Her expression was nothing compared to what it became when Fine jerked against his restraints at her with a snarl so vicious both ponies backed away instinctively.
Applejack studied his face and saw that the rage was gone, replaced by an eager smile and dark glint in his eye. His volume had lowered, too, and was now at least more tolerable.
But his words made her want to cover her ears again. “Such a nice blonde mane you have. I think I’ll cut it off and strangle you with it. No, nevermind, not bloody enough, there has to be at least some blood. Oh wait, a horn! I can snap it right off that head of yours. There’s a trick to that, you know, you have to pull at just the right angle. Setting a hoof to the back of the neck really helps to get it. Let me go and I’ll demonstrate.”
“I think he’s having a vision,” Upper Crust noted with a cringe.
“What’s the matter?” Fine strained against his bindings, his enthusiastic eyes locked on Upper Crust. “I just want blood. And screams. I know how to make you sing!” His eyes shifted to Applejack. “Yes… after I have her horn I’ll ram it under your horseshoes. Prying those off won’t hurt much, but when I start jamming the horn into the nail-holes I bet you’ll give me a chorus! Tried that once on a corrupt cop, fun times. Come on, let me go! I promise it won’t hurt for too long.”
Applejack shivered, taking an involuntary step back. “Did Fluttershy have ta listen ta this all the time?”
“I don’t think so,” Upper Crust noted, ignoring Fine’s continued ramblings. “She said she was immune, so he wouldn’t have said this… not that what he was saying was any more tolerable.”
Fine abruptly barked like a dog, effectively catching their attention. He didn’t seem so cheerful anymore. “Bitches, pay attention when I’m talking to you! Luna-fucking-damn! What do I gotta do, rip your fucking tongues out? I should, lots of blood when you do that.”
Suddenly his eyes closed tightly and he ground his teeth. He tried to arch his back but could barely move under his bonds. “Fucking hell that hurts! Let me go, for fuck’s sake let me kill somepony. Please!” He let out a long, agonized cry as tears fell down his cheeks. “Let me go! Let me go!” His eyes went to Applejack. “I’ll put a hook in your belly! Weigh it with rocks and hang you from a pole!”
Applejack covered her ears and dropped to her belly, horrified at the images his words produced. Was this typical of a bloodmane? How was he not in prison!? Worse, how could Princess Luna work with him? She was so very close to walking out on him. Would anypony blame her?
Something touched her shoulder; she leaped into the air with a startled shout and barely managed to avoid striking Upper Crust. She let out a deep breath to calm her nerves before noting that Fine had gone silent. She turned to find him visibly shaking, eyes clenched shut and a sob escaping his lips.
“I think it’s over,” Upper Crust noted, though she was keeping her distance from the rack and didn't look at all self-assured.
Applejack nodded and removed her hat to wipe the beads of sweat from her forehead. Taking a moment to steel herself, she put her hat back on and went to stand beside Fine once again. He had calmed significantly, faded eyes staring up at the ceiling.
“Are ya done now?” Applejack asked him with an irritated tone.
He didn’t look at her. When he spoke his voice was hoarse. “What are you two even doing here?”
“Tryin’ ta feed ya,” she replied, reaching into her pack and pulling out the carefully-wrapped sandwiches.
For a moment he didn’t answer, or acknowledge her in any way. But then, with a heavy sigh, he said, “You’ve got about ten minutes before I go off again. Let’s get this over with.”
“Don’t get too excited,” Jimmy grumbled, setting the picnic basket to the floor. He shot a worried glance at Rarity, who had been very poorly affected by the bloodmane’s threats. She was trembling near the door, probably trying not to imagine her pearly coat adorning Fine as a new vest.
He wanted to comfort her, but he knew he had to feed Fine before he went berserk again. Upper Crusty had noted how she and Applejack had been too slow; they’d been forced to wait nearly an hour before another vision calmed him down. He did not want Rarity to have to go through another batch of those horrible threats!
He opened the basket and carefully pulled out the salad Rarity had made for the occasion. He also had some tongs, happy his partner had thought to include them; Rainbow was still nursing the bite on her hoof from the other day. “Alright, Fine, open up.”
He did, keeping his dull eyes turned away. He chewed slowly, clearly having no interest in the food. He swallowed and asked in a bored tone, “Why are you ponies doing this?”
Jimmy wasn’t sure how to answer, so he bought time by giving Fine another mouthful of lettuce and hay. Indeed, why was he doing this? He cast a glance at Rarity. She had her eyes closed and appeared to be on the verge of recovering her wits. He smiled weakly, thinking of things he’d learned only recently.
“You recruited us into this team,” he answered at last while bringing some more of the salad to Fine’s mouth. “You saw potential in us. It’s only right we return the favor.”
Fine didn’t take the offered food. He turned his head away as far as he could, which barely amounted to anything. “I’m not worth it.”
Jimmy raised the tongs a little so he could better see Fine’s face. “Why would you say something like that?”
“I’m a murderer,” Fine answered darkly, still refusing to meet Jimmy’s gaze. “Everything I just said I would have done if I weren’t tied down. I don’t deserve help. I should be left here to rot.”
Jimmy pulled the tongs back to his shoulder, eyes going sharp. “You don’t mean that.”
“Yeah, I do. Luna should come here and put me out of everypony’s misery.”
“Stop that!” Jimmy leaned over and tapped the bloodmane on the forehead to try and make those eyes turn on him. They wouldn’t. “I get it, you’re depressed. It’s all part of the withdrawal. But for pity’s sake, have a little more faith! Do you think we’d even be here if we didn’t want to be?”
“You don’t want to be.”
Jimmy growled and dropped down so he was glaring Fine right in the eye. “What we want is our leader back! What happened to Mr. Fearless, the one who fought one-on-one against Sombra?”
This time Fine did meet his gaze, but his expression was still entirely devoid of pleasure. He spoke monotonously. “Unless you want to lose those lips I suggest getting them away from my teeth.”
“Ya can’t move, Fine,” Jimmy noted seriously, “and ya can’t scare me. Now you’re gonna eat this and keep going.” He proffered the tongs, still gripping lettuce, before Fine’s mouth.
Fine made no attempt to eat. “Why should I?”
“Because your friends are worried about you!”
His eyes shifted to Jimmy, his expression confused. “I don’t have friends.”
“Of course you have friends!” Rarity was abruptly there on the opposite side of the table. “We’re all worried about you!”
“You’re scared of me,” Fine corrected with a sneer. “You can’t stand me.”
“Of course we’re scared,” Jimmy agreed. “We’re scared you’ll stay like this forever. That’s why we’re here!”
The bloodmane huffed a dejected sigh. “Maybe it’s what I deserve. I’ll just end up hurting everypony if I’m set loose.”
“You can’t just give up,” Rarity noted regally.
“What do you care!? You barely know me!”
Jimmy shoved the food into Fine’s mouth before he could close it. “For Luna sake, eat!”
He was rewarded with salad being spit into his face. He grimaced and rubbed off the bits of lettuce and tomatoes. As he did Fine began to shout obscenities, making it painfully obvious that their ten minutes were up.
Rarity rolled her eyes as she walked around the rack to Jimmy’s side. “I am not going to listen to him rant for an hour. Let’s go downstairs and wait it out, hmm?”
“Oh no,” Lightning Dust snapped, reaching into her pack. “Forget it, I’m not letting him waste my time by being an asshole! I had the meal whipped up in a blender for a reason.”
Fluttershy, covering her ears to dampen Fine’s increasingly vulgar shouts, raised an eyebrow at the metal pipe her partner was taking out. “Umm, what is that for?”
Lightning set the bowl of blended fruits and veggies on the rack and gave Fluttershy a dark grin. “Tough love.” She turned to Fine, who was still spitting vitriol at them both. “Now would you please shut up?” She raised the pipe and brought it down with a loud whack on Fine’s exposed stomach. When he opened his mouth to let out a gasp she immediately shoved the pipe into his mouth.
Fluttershy covered her lips in an expression of alarm. “L-L-Lightning! What are you doing!?”
Fine squirmed, angry noises floating up through the pipe as he glared daggers at Lightning. She held the pipe firmly, though, and lifted the bowl of food. “Feeding him, whether he likes it or not.” And with that she dumped the bowl’s contents down the pipe.
Fluttershy stepped up to the rack, cringing at the sight of Lightning climbing on top of it and setting a hoof on top of the pipe to keep it firmly in place. “Don’t you think that’s a bit much? It might hurt…”
“Too bad,” Lightning replied with a smirk. “This is my revenge for the time he left me on my own in Big Reach’s mansion!” She cast a wicked look down at Fine. “Thought I’d forgotten about that, didn’t ya? Payback’s a bitch.”
Fluttershy moved by Fine’s head, taking a close look at his face. “B-but he might not be able to breathe!”
“He’s got a nose, don’t he?” Lightning smiled at her partner. “Relax, I won’t hurt him. I’ll just keep it on him till he’s swallowed it all, and then we can get out of here. Trust me, when this is all over and he’s a normal, productive member of society he’ll thank me.”
Fluttershy eyed the pipe. “I’m not so sure about that.” Fine, still struggling, was making furious noises and glaring up at Lightning.
“You should be relishing this,” Lightning noted with a critical look. “I mean c’mon, he’s put you through hell for two months! You deserve a little self-gratification at his expense.”
“Oh, I don’t know about that,” Fluttershy answered hesitantly. “I mean, I could have said no…”
Lightning stared at her for a few quiet seconds, ignoring the small motions of the pipe in her hooves. “I was wrong about you. I thought you were just a wimp.”
Her partner offered a weak smile. “Well, I am… really.”
Lightning scratched her head in thought for a couple seconds. “What I mean is, you’re a lot tougher than I thought. You actually dealt with this jerk for six weeks all on your own? That couldn’t have been easy. You really impress me, Fluttershy.”
Fluttershy blushed, hiding a little behind her mane. “Um… thanks, but… um… I’m not all that tough. Honest.”
“You’re too modest,” Lightning claimed, pausing to look down the pipe. She frowned and set her hoof back on top of it again; apparently Fine hadn’t eaten all of its contents yet. “I can’t imagine having to deal with this day-in and day-out every day for six weeks, on top of my day job! How did you not crack?”
Fluttershy gave Fine a forlorn look. He’d stopped trying to object verbally and by now was simply glaring at the two pegasi in a sulking fashion. Every now and again she’d see him swallow a little of the cut up food in the pipe. “I came close to giving up more than once,” she admitted, “but every time I did I reminded myself what was at stake. I didn’t want somepony to die because I couldn’t handle it.”
“A lesser pony would have given in,” Lightning reminded her quietly. “I really think everypony’s proud of you. I don’t hardly know you at all – let’s face it, we don’t exactly share interests – but I’m glad to have somepony like you around to look after Keen when I’m working.”
Fluttershy looked up to see a genuine grin on Lightning’s lips. Somehow hearing that from her made her feel… good. She smiled back and nodded. “I appreciate that.”
An awkward silence passed between the two. After nearly a minute Lightning anxiously rubbed her mane and took another look down the pipe. She cast her eyes on Fluttershy, grinned nervously and gave Fine a hard kick in the shoulder. “Come on, hurry up already! I’m sick of standin’ here.”
“I can’t believe you’re actually doing this,” Nye noted, eyeing the pipe being held firmly in Fine’s mouth by a purple aura.
“I can’t believe Lightning thought of it,” Twilight Sparkle answered, sitting beside the rack with horn glowing. She set a hoof to her chin thoughtfully. “Then again, I guess it does sound like something she’d try.”
Nye paced around to the other side of the rack so he could get a closer look at Fine’s face. The bloodmane was watching him with half-closed eyes, not resisting but clearly angry. “I’m not sure I could do it. I mean, that looks really uncomfortable... and besides, I'm already creeped out by this place.”
“Like LD said, tough love. If he would cooperate,” she shot a lecturing look at Fine, “we wouldn’t have to resort to this. You’re too soft, Nye.”
He stood on his hind legs and patted his belly with a smile. “Yeah, ponies tell me that one all the time.”
She couldn’t help giggling. “I’m surprised Rainbow hasn’t tried to get rid of that yet.”
“Nah, she likes me soft,” he quipped, but his tone abruptly grew serious. “Do you think this is going to work?”
“He’s swallowing,” Twilight replied, gesturing to Fine’s throat. “I’d call that a success.”
“No, I mean this.” Nye gestured to Fine’s body, eyes on the many different bindings.
She hesitated, following his gaze along the stallion’s tightly-secured form. “It’s impossible to say. Princess Luna showed me the ‘evidence’ Fine was using as proof that it could work, but it didn’t amount to much. To be honest? I think this was an act of desperation.”
“After fourteen years I’d be desperate, too,” Nye acknowledged. He cast an unhappy glance at Fine’s face, the prisoner’s eyes darting back and forth between the two of them darkly. “He’s not in his right mind now, but if this doesn’t work I have to wonder what he’d want to do.”
“Luna told me exactly what would happen,” Twilight answered with a shudder. “It’s… better not to think on it.”
Nye glanced from Fine to her, face guilty. “Well in any case I’m glad you’re here now. I really don’t think I could have handled him on my own. Props to Fluttershy.”
Her lips rose in a sad smile. “She’s a lot stronger than most ponies give her credit… though I have to admit, I’m at a whole new level of impressed after this.” She glanced at the pipe studiously, her horn glowing a little brighter. “He’s done. Gonna take the pipe out now.”
The pipe was removed from Fine’s mouth. He took a moment to smack his lips and flex his jaw. Twilight and Nye were already on their way to the door when his voice rang behind them. “I swear to Tartarus the first thing I’m gonna do when I get out of here is see how you like having a fucking metal pipe shoved down your throat! Hey, where ya going? You, Celestia’s bitch! I’m talking…”
Nye leaned close to Twilight, trying his best to ignore Fine’s continuing rant. “Are you really sure you want Pinkie to handle him alone?”
They paused to at the door to glance back at Fine. “Pinkie drew the long straw, she gets to go it alone,” Twilight noted seriously, her horn glowing to keep the volume of Fine’s fury down.
“But it’s Pinkie,” Nye countered worriedly. “Surely somepony’s gonna go with her!”
“She wanted to be on her own,” Twilight reminded him, though there was no hiding the worry in her voice. “I know she seems like the worst candidate to do it, but we’ve thought that kind of thing before. I even insulted her once with that kind of thinking, albeit not on purpose. I want to give her the chance.”
He eyed her skeptically. “You trust her to do this?”
She nodded. “Is it any bigger a jump than, say, Fine trusting Fluttershy to do this on her own for weeks at a time?”
“Well, when you put it that way…”
She set a hoof to his shoulder. “We all have to trust one another, Nye, sometimes even when it goes against our best judgment.”
He sighed and opened the door, allowing her to leave first. “Far be it for me to argue with the leader of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Still, something about it just seems dangerous.”
He cast one last look at Fine, watching him struggle against his bonds. “I really hope you’re right about all this.”
The door closed with a quiet thunk.
The door opened slowly, a barely-audible creak the only sound to give away its motion. She stood in the opening for a few solemn minutes, eyes locked on Fine atop the rack. If he noticed her presence he was not bothering to show it. After several long seconds she at last entered the room at a slow pace, a picnic basket balanced on her back.
She paused next to his head, looking down at him with an expressionless face. His eyes, gleaming in the dim light of the chandelier’s candles, were locked upon her. The two lingered on in silence, neither bothering to say anything. His breathing slowed into a deep rhythm as he licked his lips in preparation.
At last Fine spoke. “You alone?”
She didn’t answer.
“You gonna try cheering me up?” he pressed darkly. “Throw me a party?”
The silence was ongoing.
He sneered. “What’s wrong, are you scared? Big mean bastard tied to the table’s gonna eat you!” He clicked his teeth at her a couple times with a grin that didn’t match his eyes. “Come on, get closer! I bet you taste like cotton candy. You’ve got so much sugar in…” He tensed abruptly, grinding his teeth in pain. After a few seconds his eyes gained that hungry look she recognized.
That was when she pounced, literally leaping atop the table to straddle his chest. She leaned down, her long pink mane surrounding his face as she looked him right in the eye. “Tell me what you see. Describe it to me.”
His eyes flashed greedily. “I see me stuffing balloons down your throat.”
Her hoofs caught him on either side of the head in a firm hold, and she lowered herself even further. He snapped his teeth in a vain attempt to bite her face. “More. Tell me something bloody.”
“…blood…” He said the word as if it was holy. “How about I slice your hooves off one at a time with a dull blade, sawing it back and forth and back and forth while you screech the most beautiful music?”
She let out a long shudder before sitting up. “You really are a bloodmane.”
“You look a lot prettier bathed in blood,” he noted wickedly, eye roaming up and down her body. “Get me off this thing and I’ll show you just how good you can look.”
She gave him a playful smile, tapping him on the forehead. “Tempting, but no.” Climbing off him, she turned to her picnic basket on the floor and carefully pulled out something. “I’ve got a treat for you.”
“Tell me it’s a hacksaw.”
She gave him a curious look. “Don’t you find it odd that I’m holding a conversation with you while you’re hallucinating my murder? I would have, and not just me. In fact someone’s questioning this entire scene as we speak.”
“I know,” Fine hissed, completely ignoring her words, “I’ll tie a bunch of balloons to your tongue. That would be fun. Then I can shoot you down with a slingshot!”
“Guess I was wrong,” she noted with a pleasant smile. “Oh well, can’t be right all the time. Here, have a gift!” She lifted her hoof so that he could see the cupcake balanced on top of it. She tipped a hoof into the rainbow-colored icing and licked it off with a grin. “My own special recipe! Haven’t made one of these in years.”
He grinned. “Can I have it with a side of your eyebaAUGH!” He let out a shout and cringed as pain erupted through his body. She frowned and pulled her hoof back so she could better watch him struggle. Her heart was bucking against her chest furiously at the sight of him: face strained, tears running down his cheeks, sweat beading on his forehead. Swelling within her was an old temptation, the kind she’d not felt in ages.
At last he relaxed, blinking away the tears and sniffing. He spoke with a tone of despair. “Sweet Luna, why does it have to hurt so much?”
She leaned against the rack, dangling the cupcake over his head. “I’m trying to give you a treat, here.”
He eyed the baked good with dull skepticism. “Sugar can’t solve everything, and certainly not this.”
She leaned forward, her long mane brushing up against his face. “Try it. If it doesn’t help then I promise I won’t try to feed you anything else.” She lowered the cupcake to just above his mouth, and after a few quiet moments he opened up. She set the top of it inside and waited for him to take a big bite before pulling it away.
Something red dripped from the cupcake onto his face. “Oops, sorry. Let me get that.”
She reached into the basket and pulled out a paper towel to wipe the drops from his chin. When it came up she found him staring at her with wide eyes. “You… is that… what I think it is?”
She smiled knowingly and displayed the cupcake as if it were a trophy, the red liquid oozing out of the dough in tiny amounts. “Like I said, my own special recipe. Now eat up.” She shoved the treat into his mouth firmly, forcing him to devour the whole thing.
She felt him shiver as the last small piece went down his throat. “Sweet gentle goddess…”
She leaned against the rack next to his face, her cheeks on her hooves. “Feel better?”
His eyes strained to look at her. “W-where did you get that…?”
“Don’t worry, it was my own blood. You should be sane for a couple hours now.”
He shifted as if to move away from her. “Why did you… I mean how did you know? Pinkie…”
“Pinkamina.” She brushed her long pink mane out of her face. “Call me Pinkamina.”
His jaw dropped just slightly. “You… you’re one, too?”
She nodded, petting his mane just above where its natural red color was coming out under the black. “I used to be, long ago. I knew from the moment I saw you that you were different, but I never imagined I’d found another! It was the first time.”
“What do you mean, ‘used to be?’”
Pinkamina ignored the question. “You know, when I saw you lying there all helpless I couldn’t resist thinking about how easy it would be. It’s the second time since being cured that I felt the temptation come back.”
He strained against his bonds. “You were cured!? You mean this will work?”
She nodded again with a pleasant expression. “Oh yes, it’ll work. I’ve been through everything you’re going through. Took me about twelve weeks to get over it. Consider yourself lucky: I didn’t have any friends to help me out like you do.”
He relaxed, a deep sigh of relief escaping his lips. “Oh thank you!”
“You’re welcome.” She turned back to her picnic basket and pulled out a half-dozen more cupcakes, these with white icing on top. She laughed when she caught sight of his worried look. “Don’t worry, I only put blood in the one! These are normal, promise.”
He relaxed once more, but licked his lips as if to get rid of a nasty taste. “About the blood. Umm… how…”
She said the sentence in his head just before he could say it. “How did I know that the blood would make you sane again? Experience due to an… unfortunate hallucination.” She bit her lip and cast her eyes away. “Hey… Did you ever… kill anyone close to you…?”
He studied her solemnly for a few seconds, clearly not missing the suggestion behind her words. “My first was a friend from my childhood. Other than that… no.”
Pinkamina sighed in a strange combination of sadness and relief. “Good… that’s good. You really are a lot luckier than me.” She offered him a cupcake. “Sorry about the size, I lost my small-sized pan.”
He ignored the cupcake, eyes locked on her unhappy face. “Who did you kill, Pinki…Pinkamina?”
She hesitated, her face half-hidden behind her mane as her eyes shifted away once more. “…everyone.” She shoved the cupcake against his mouth. “Open.”
He complied, and she went on while he chewed. “I never had anypony to talk to about it until now. The isolation can really drive you nutty.”
“Is that so?” he asked with a weak but wry smile.
She responded by shoving another cupcake in his face. “Shut up and eat.” She studied him with quiet intent. “Look… when this is over, if you ever wanna come by Sugarcube corner after hours you can. You know, to talk. You see things… differently once it’s over.”
He swallowed the last bit of cupcake. “Sounds like it’s not a good difference.”
“Not at first,” she admitted, “not for me. Maybe you’ll be different, I don’t know. I mean you’re the only other bloodmane I’ve ever met.”
There was a long, heavy silence between them. Pinkamina couldn’t meet Fine’s gaze; she clutched at her empty plate as if it were something special and kept her mane between the two of them. He studied her, his mind finally free to think rationally again. After what seemed like an eternity he finally spoke up. “I think we’ll be seeing a lot more of one another in the near future.”
Pinkamina nodded, a smile coming upon her lips. She stepped back and returned the plate to the picnic basket. She was just about to lift it up when he asked, “You’re not going already, are you?”
She bit her lip and glanced at him. “Umm… I don’t want the others to worry.”
“I can finally think straight,” he reminded her hopefully. “For the first time in months I can be normal! I don’t want to spend that time alone…”
Pinkamina’s head turned to observe the door for a few anxious seconds, but finally she went to sit down next to him. “Alright… what do you want to talk about?”
He chuckled. “I thought you were the master conversationalist.”
“Not now.” She bowed her head, mane dipping forward to tickle his cheek as she gazed at the floor with sorrowful eyes. “Just… not now.”
“Then how about this: tell me how you cured yourself.”
Her eyes flitted to him. “…that’s a long story.”
He tensed against his bonds demonstrably. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Princess Luna stood at the head of the rack, gazing down upon Fine’s face. “Are you absolutely certain about this?”
“I am.”
At the foot of the rack was Princess Celestia. “You understand what we will be forced to do if you are wrong?”
“I understand.”
The sisters shared a solemn look over the his body and nodded in unison. Celestia’s horn glowed in preparation as she locked eyes on the bound stallion. Luna’s glowed as well, her magic carefully removing Fine’s bindings one strap at a time. He lay perfectly still, not daring to make any quick movements: Celestia looked as though she might blast him at the slightest provocation.
His hind legs were the first to be freed, and he slowly lifted them up. It felt good to be able to move them at all.
Time lingered on, the only sound that of the occasional unbuckling belt or shifting chain. Soon the last bonds were removed; he was free. Moving slowly, he shifted onto his side and stood on legs weak from a lack of motion. He glanced at the underside of one of his front legs, noting how the fur of his coat had worn to skin from constant rubbing against the table. It didn’t look at all as bad as he’d expected, though.
“Fine?” He looked to Luna, who’s eyes bored into his own. “How do you feel?”
His mind was blank. He glanced around at the room as if seeing it for the first time. His unkempt mane, now almost completely back to its natural red color, swayed across his eyes. “I feel… clear.”
The emotion hit him, and it was like a sledgehammer to the gut. He dropped to his haunches and felt the burn of tears. “It’s all so clear…”
The Princesses breathed a combined sigh of relief. Luna gave him an encouraging, pleased smile.
“I have to admit, I never thought this would work,” Celestia confessed, standing beside Fine with a soft smile of her own. “I’m happy for you, Fine Crime.”
“Indeed,” Luna agreed as he let out a happy sob. “And we are proud.”
He held his hooves before his face, staring at them as if he didn’t know what they were. “Nothing,” he whispered. “I should have had a vision by now, but there’s nothing. I don’t have to see blood anymore. It’s just…” Words couldn’t do his feelings justice, so he stopped trying. He just sat there and wept at the simple, impossible thrill that was running through him.
He remained that way for several minutes, not even bothering to control his joy. But eventually he did calm down enough to take in his surroundings once more. When he did he realized that Celestia was gone. He didn’t care, but Luna noted him glancing about. “She went downstairs to tell the others.”
He raised his head in surprise. “The others? You mean our team?”
The Princess nodded. “And the Element-Bearers as well. Everypony came to show their support.”
They all helped. He still couldn’t believe it: all those ponies that he just knew would hate and abandon him had instead come to his aid. It boggled the mind, and he had to know why they did it. “I… want to see them now…”
“Of course,” she agreed. He wobbled off the table, helped slightly by her magic. “I think we can remove this.” The anti-magic shield on his horn floated off, and he abruptly felt his own magic flowing again.
He let out a pleased sigh, his horn glowing brightly. “I had no idea it would feel so good to get that thing off. It’s like stretching… in a metaphysical sense.”
Luna was beside him, and when she got so close he took a tentative step back. His alarm died quickly, though. She gave him a concerned look, but he shook his head apologetically. “I’m sorry, it’s just… I keep expecting the vision to come.” He bowed his head, mind racing. “I haven’t tried to hurt you. There’s nothing, no violence, no blood. Is it weird that I find that weird?”
The Princess smiled and gestured to the door. “Welcome to being normal. Are you ready for it?”
He returned the smile anxiously. “I… I guess… Is the world ready for a ‘normal’ Fine Crime?”
She turned to look him in the eyes, her tone soothing. “…maybe you should start going by Verity Fine.”
He gazed at her, surprised at the suggestion. But the more he thought of it, the more he liked it. “Maybe…” He followed her to the door while thinking on the name. Fine Crime had been his name for fourteen years, an appropriate title for somepony so terrible. But he wasn’t that pony anymore, was he? Could he go back to being a normal pony? Could he even remember what it was like?
They were in the stairwell covered in darkness when Luna spoke up. “Fine… I wanted to apologize.”
He paused, watching her glimmering mane as it descended a few steps ahead. “For what?”
She stopped and turned her head over her shoulder. Her eyes shimmered with guilt. “For a couple things. Doubting you on this, for one. I truly had no faith in this idea.”
Fine raised his hoof in a dismissive gesture. “I wouldn’t have believed in it myself. It was a desperate gamble, and to be honest I probably shouldn’t have done it. I’m just glad you decided to let me try.”
“To be honest, the only reason I agreed to it was because I believed you would try it regardless.” Her eyes drifted, unable to meet his gaze. “Yet there is something else, something more important that I felt I owe you an apology for: Tazel.”
His smile faded, and a long silence passed between them. “…you waited this long to apologize for that?”
Luna’s head turned forward once more. Her voice held something akin to shame. “I am sorry, but I was unsure if you could even comprehend. You haven’t really been… you these past few weeks.”
“Well, there is that,” he agreed quietly.
“I did not mean for things to go the way they did,” she told him with her face still turned away. “I sent Tazel to you, and that was my misdeed. I hope you can…”
“Luna.” She tensed at his tone. “I did warn you that it wasn’t a good idea… but I can’t blame you. How could I, after begging you to let me do this? Besides, I know what you were hoping would happen. Even a Princess can’t be right all the time.”
Luna looked back at him. He saw more guilt there than he’d thought she could possess. “You nearly killed your childhood friend because of me. We still can’t prove that you didn’t.”
“I know.” Fine descended the few steps between them so he could look into her face properly. “Believe me, Luna, I know. You did what you had to.”
She clearly wasn’t convinced. “I could have dealt with the problem in a different manner.”
He shook his head. “Luna, I’m the Mane Archon. I know all about making tough decisions, and I’ve felt the burn from when those decisions go wrong. Frankly I’m surprised you’re beating yourself up so much over this.”
She sighed and descended the stairs once more, Fine following close behind. “You’re not used to… this. This isn’t about professionalism between us, Fine. Not anymore.”
That statement confused him. “Then what is it about?”
She smiled weakly at the door, her wing rising up to touch the hidden panel. “This.”
When Fine stepped through the opening he was bombarded by cheers so loud he nearly fell in his surprise. Fluttershy almost knocked him down in her rush to hug him. “It worked, it actually worked!”
“Congratulations!” Twilight came to stand next to him with a grin.
“Hey buddy,” Nye’s wry voice called from beyond Fine’s vision, “welcome to being boring like the rest of us.”
“We’re all so very proud of you,” Octavia added, appearing opposite Twilight.
They really were all there. He gazed at them from over Fluttershy’s shoulder, grateful and astounded at once. They were all so happy… he just couldn’t fathom this response. He gently pushed Fluttershy away, which let him get a good look at her face. “Flutttershy… are you crying?”
She rubbed the moisture from her cheeks with a smile. “I’m sorry, it’s just… I was starting to think this would never end!”
“You and me both,” he whispered, taking a moment to brush her mane from her face. “Thank you so much for putting up with me. I know it wasn’t easy.”
She nodded and stepped away. “I didn’t do it alone.”
“Yeah,” Rainbow threw in from near the ceiling, “a little credit where it’s due?”
Fluttershy blushed. “I’m sorry, I know I promised not to get them involved…”
“What confuses me,” he interrupted, turning his head to slowly look at all the smiling faces, “is why you all helped. I mean… what I am… was… it had to be abhorrent to all of you.”
“Abhorwa?” Pinkie asked, abruptly standing between him and Octavia.
“Of course we helped!” Applejack answered proudly. “How could we not help out our friend?” He stared at her, lips moving to quietly mouth the word ‘friend’ as he tried to make sense of it. “What, you don’ think we’re friends?”
“I… I just…”
Upper Crust stepped forward to stand next to Fluttershy with a big smile. “We weren’t going to abandon you, Fine. You should have told us all in the first place.”
“Besides,” Lightning added smartly, “what kind of team would we be without our leader?”
He fell to his haunches, an unfamiliar emotion welling within him. “But… but I didn’t think any of you liked me…”
“Well I can certainly understand why you would think that way,” Rarity confessed haughtily, “but it’s your own fault for not being upfront with us to begin with.”
Jimmy appeared before him, setting a hoof to his shoulder. “You spent all that time hiding from us. What were we supposed to think? You could have spent all that time with us, helping us to understand.”
Pinkie bumped Jimmy out of the way with a grin. “Yeah, instead of being all cranky and avoiding my parties!”
Fine stared at her, then Fluttershy. After a few seconds he lowered his head guiltily. “I’m sorry… I didn’t know what else to do. I’ve spent my whole life avoiding… friendship…”
Celestia, who had been waiting at the back of the crowd, stepped forward to catch his attention. “And now they all understand why. Fine, you never gave friendship a chance. Perhaps now you can.”
“Indeed,” Luna said, appearing at her sister’s side. “You have a second chance at life, a truly rare gift. Perhaps this time you would like to go through it with some friends.”
He felt like crying all over again. They were all there to offer him their companionship! He’d never known such… such happiness. He wasn’t worthy of it, not at all, but he would accept it. “I’m free,” he said at last, smiling at all of them. “I don’t have to be afraid anymore. I want to try. I know I don’t deserve any of this, but for once in my life I have the choice.”
He felt something touch his side, and he turned to find Twilight smiling proudly at him. “You always had the choice, Fine. It was up to you to make it.”
He stifled a sniff, unable to meet her eyes. “And… despite what I was, and what I’ve done… you’ll still be my…” The word felt so strange on his tongue, “…my friend?”
Lightning landed next to him, bumping his shoulder playfully. “New life, new friends!”
“What you did was unforgiveable,” Twilight told him softly.
“But you’re not that pony anymore,” Fluttershy concluded, words of approval coming from the others.
Now he was crying. “Thank you… all of you…”
There was a brief moment of silence as they all watched him. He was so glad for their presence; for the first time in his life he felt that things were going right. He wanted to give each and every last one of them a hug! Even the Princesses, though he doubted Celestia would have appreciated it.
“Okay, that’s enough drama,” Pinkie declared, bouncing into the center of the room. “Come on everypony, it’s time to party!”
“A… party?” Fine winced as if expecting a blow.
“Yep, we got everythin’ set up for ya downstairs!” Applejack announced proudly. “Come on, everypony, let’s go have some fun.” Pinkie let out a thrilled cry at the support.
“What better way to get to know all your new friends?” Twilight asked with a grin, gesturing for him to follow them.
Octavia took note of Fine’s hesitation. “Don’t worry. Pinkie’s parties are quite lively, but you get used to them.”
“You coming?” Rainbow asked.
“Y-yeah…” he answered, “I’ve never been to a party before.”
“What!?” Pinkie was in his face. “Are you kidding me? Come on, we need to get some sugar in your body, stat! Applejack, get this stallion some apple pie!”
“I’m on it,” Applejack announced with a grin and salute. By now most of the ponies were heading out of the room. Fine couldn’t help smiling; he might actually enjoy himself for a change.
“Fine, we have got to talk,” Twilight mentioned over her shoulder to him. “Think about what’s been achieved tonight! It calls for further study: this could be a huge leap for all ponykind.”
“I think that can wait,” Celestia noted as the two left the room together.
Fluttershy giggled, gesturing for Fine to follow her out. “I hope you’re ready; Twilight’s can get really excited about that kind of thing. She’ll have all sorts of questions for you.”
“I’ll answer to the best of my ability,” he replied honestly. “Hey… how long was I on that rack, anyway? Sometime after week nine things got a little jumbled in my head.”
“Twelve weeks,” Luna replied confidently.
He paused; that was a number he recognized. “Really? Twelve weeks?” Luna and Fluttershy both nodded, not understanding his astonished expression. He ignored their questioning looks to cast a glance at the door, where Pinkie was ushering the last of their friends through. She cast a proud smile his way, and for just a moment her playfulness disappeared into something much more calm. She nodded to him, and he had the distinct impression that she knew exactly what was on his mind.
An instant later her bouncy cheer was back. “Come on you two, hurry your tooshies and let’s boogey!”
Fluttershy giggled as Pinkie disappeared through the door. “She takes some getting used to, as well.”
“I’m good,” he replied happily, heading for the door and the sound of laughter. “For once in my life, everything’s good.”
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That pinkie scene, perfection.
Nuff said
3826286
Whoa, whoa, wait.
...
People are still reading No Heroes?
But yeah, I was waiting months to write that scene. I simply couldn't wait. Pinkamina is fun.
Also: Book III's been out close to 6 months now, and you're the first person to comment on it.
This story needs more love.
3827466
Of course I'm still reading this, I never finished!
I also think this story deserves more attention, do you know any way to promote it?
Also, I would have normally commented on every chapter, however I felt I would be ...imposing... no idea why.
Should I comment lots on book 4? :P
3827568
I am terrible at self-promotion. It's one of the reasons I only have 55 followers after nearly a year. I don't do it, because it feels like I'm tooting my own horn. I can't put myself on a pedestal, it would make me sound arrogant (which is a serious issue, because I am arrogant and am constantly struggling to keep that tendency down). As such, I'm trying to build up my reputation through constant writing and letting my stories (and thus, popularity) spread on its own. It's slow, but it's honest, and I think the people whose opinions I care the most about will appreciate the hard work.
But I tend to think that nobody reads past Book II, because nobody ever says anything about Books III and IV. Seriously, they have no comments at all. How am I supposed to know if the story's worth anything if nobody's saying anything? 'Likes' and 'dislikes' only tell me so much. I want to get better, and I can't do that unless people are telling me exactly what they do and don't like about my stories!
In summation: yes. Comment as much as you want, and don't sugarcoat it. I thrive on communication!
3827644
Honest like Applejack
Chasing dreams like Octavia
Lol
I shall comment lots in book 4, and try to coat it in... idk where I was going with that.
Though, I mostly read on a phone so the comments might be a bit short hand
When you finally reach you goals, you will have deserved them fully. :D
.
3827807
Can't do it, not on those little screens!
Eeeew, phone reading!
But I appreciate the praise, and the promise for more comments.
3827890
Lol
I'v really enjoyed the series up to here. Can't way to read the other one tomorrow! Keep it up....please? ^.^'
3979558
Glad to see people are still reading and enjoying this! Technically, the main No Heroes series ended with Book IV, but don't worry, I left a ton of room for expansion!
Case in point: Lightning's Bolt, which expands upon the relationship between Keen and Lightning Dust. It's a work in progress, though.
Please comment more! Especially with Book IV. Not a single person has given me an opinion on it! That makes Fluttershy sad. See?
media.giphy.com/media/aAQNb5p7q8gXS/giphy.gif
You don't want Fluttershy to be sad, do you?
:O never! I'll comment right away!
Ok, I'm sure you know the drill by now....
Firstly, because it's the most recent thing... Pinkie as a bloodmane?
Surprising? Yes
Expected? No
Doing anything to the actual progression of her/Fine's character? No....
And I guess that's my general feel for the whole interaction...
I mean, sure, it makes sense with Pinkie's Alter-ego, but to be honest I would've rather enjoyed Fine staying as a bloodmane...
I mean, taking that away from him allows him to become essentially an entirely new character, so all the struggles he's had to face before are now for naught since there's nothing he really has that defines him...
I don't know, I just think that it would make for a more powerful message if the treatment had failed, but that didn't mean he couldn't at least try and live a normal life... But that's just me...
By the way; the moment you mentioned the possibility of a cure for Fine, I knew it was going to end the way it did...
Moving on...
Tazel!
WHAT DID YOU DO?
I was really starting to like her... I mean, sure, she was manipulative, untrustworthy and downright evil at times... But only because she had to... If it wasn't for that mind-controlling.... thing.... (next villain?) Then I really could've gotten into her character... She was sarcastic, snide and powerful..... But was only a tool used and abused by said next villain... I really felt sorry for her... She didn't even get to see Verity again (Since the story itself wants to treat Fine and Verity as two completely different ponies...
I mean, sure, it's nice to FINALLY have Tazel in the story... But, really... The poor..... thing.... whatever she was...
Oh yeah, back to Fine...
The moment Fluttershy asked for help, you get a gold star for how Lightning reacted...
Although I am REALLY looking forward to reading that side-fic.... (Finished yet? haha)
uhhh, The Nye/Dash parts were pretty good... Now that Nye isn't moping 24/7 he's gained some character again... Albeit hanging off Dash's side a bit too much, but clingy suits him...
other than that... This story felt much shorter than the others... And yet it was 20k longer...
I don't even.......
Getting into Octavia's family was.... strange... Was just sorta there as side-information if readers wanted to play with it...
But, yeah... I don't know, it was just sort of a nothing story... Nothing really grabbed me yet nothing actually drove me away...
I don't know, I believe there was a lot more that could've been done with Fine and Tazel... I guess it was because everything is either too vague (Tazel) or predictable (Fine) in this story....
But again, that's just my opinion...
I really wish I could give you more...
Oh wait...
Octavia and Luna...
If she were born a unicorn...
It's actually one of the very few times I've seen anypony show that much emotion in one line than Luna and Octavia in the dreamscape...
THAT was handled perfectly!
Otherwise, yeah, as I said... Nothing really grand happened here... I will miss Tazel... And Fine better not become boring now that he has no secrets...
But... yeah...
Part 4 awaits...
4071652
I'm glad to see you're still at it! I always get the impression that people stop reading somewhere in Book III simply due to the lack of comments it and Book IV have.
Starting with Fine, I knew I was going to cure him from the get-go. To say that this means he has no more secrets and can live normally isn't necessarily true, though; he's an Archon, or rather, the Archon. His job and life revolve around secrets. He's free to be more social and live normally now, but it's not as easy a move as it might seem at first glance. There are plenty of unknown elements for Fine, as well as future challenges for his character. But I will acknowledge that his general purpose and route in this story are somewhat predictable, and that includes Book IV.
I've said it before: Pinkie's role in this overall story is flawed, and it's largely because I was scared to work with her for a long time. Using Pinkie requires a sense of randomness and humor that I always struggle with because my mind does not run in a way that is conductive for silliness. I think by this point I could utilize her properly, but it just didn't happen for this story, which suffers because of it. I'm hoping to write a prequel that will expand upon her character and past, and a sequel that will develop the Pinkie/Fine relationship, because this series just doesn't do it (although Book IV lays down some strong hints for future possibilities).
Lightning's growth went on in the background, generally unseen by the reader, but her reaction to Fluttershy was a direct reflection of that growth. In many ways I intentionally kept mum about that because I knew that I couldn't do it justice in this story while I was trying to fit everything else in. It's no exaggeration to claim that I planned to write the side story for her as soon as I decided to have her adopt Keen; it's a type of growth that requires much more attention that I could have given her otherwise.
Nye has improved in many ways, even though it's not readily clear given his limited appearances in this book. I'm seriously considering writing a side-story about his relationship to Rainbow Dash, although it's by no means a major priority.
I also want to write one for Jimmy, because he's the unknown of the group and should get more attention (I notice you had nothing to say about him, which doesn't surprise me in the least). Jimmy's future is enigmatic, though; I'm still trying to decide what to do with him on many topics. Above all else I want to explore his relationship with Rarity and Octavia, because I see a lot of potential for a triangle, and given what happens in Book IV...
As I said before, I tried to give Octavia some more presence and a little more character, but knew I wasn't doing a great job of it. One of my planned sequels involves her traversing Nildia in her ancestor's hoofsteps, learning a bit about her family history and growing because of it. Still not certain how I'm going to handle that story, and it may dovetail into another major story I'm considering, but that's a long ways away.
Regarding Luna's impression of Octavia, it somewhat matches my own; the possibilities. I've been debating what it might take to raise Octavia's status to the highest level (as in an alicorn change), but hesitate as the concept's distinctly cliche. On the other hand, anyone who's read Trixie vs. Equestria knows that I won't make such a change without putting the protagonist through hell first. It's one thing to say "Oh, let's make Octavia a princess!" It's more like me to say "Let's challenge Octavia, force her to go through sweat and blood and tears and maybe kill some ponies she likes, and then if she's been through enough suffering and has grown as a character maybe she'll be worthy of consideration." Magical Mystery Cure this would not be.
But again, it's just a thought. In all likelihood I won't do it because, again, it's just so common.
You also didn't mention Upper Crust, which I find mildly disappointing. Considering she's finding ways to be useful to the team, growing in confidence and revealed some real aggression and protectiveness (for once) in the Tazel fight, I thought her slow development was coming out rather nicely...
And of course there's Tazel. I'm glad to see that you liked her and felt bad for her, because that was a goal of mine and nobody has commented on her before. At all. I was starting to think I had failed one of my major priorities for this story, so seeing you say that is a real relief. It took me a while to decide what I was going to do with her, but the tragic route was taken for the impact I hoped it would have. Her sacrifice also handled an issue I wasn't aware of until the last minute: Discord. I had Book IV all planned out and then realized that his very existence threw a wrench in the works, so Tazel's sacrifice also doubled as a means of cutting him out of the picture.
I'd like to write a prequel that reviews Tazel's life. I'm still debating on whether to put it together with the inevitable Silma Ril-focused prequel or make it something unique to Tazel, though. Another prequel story I'm considering is actually writing The Adventures of Kit and Caboose to show the three months Fine and his father lived with Tazel (or 'Kit', as she would be recognized) on the island.
Book 4 is the most direct of the books; it has a defined start and end and flows right from one to the other, without all that pesky jumping around to handle multiple issues. I'm hoping you'll like seeing how the characters have all grown into their roles, but I imagine you'll be disappointed in the villains. I am, to be honest, and I judge a story by its villains. Silma Ril and Mane Archon both fail in my mind because they just aren't properly developed; I just couldn't figure out how to do it.
That said, I find myself proud of a number of the characters, most notably Nye (for making contributions above and beyond his self-worth), Lightning (for the choices she makes for the win) and Upper Crust (who finally shines at her true potential).
But I'll let you be the judge of that.
4071908
As I said in the first comment, this entry just didn't feel like anypony was doing anything....
I mean, sure... Upper Crust and Jim got some screen this time around, but.... eh.... There really wasn't any defining moment for the two of them when they actually did something of worth... They just sorta followed the motions because that's what everypony else was doing at the time...
I saw them, sure... But were they noteworthy? well, no... Not in the slightest...
As for the Tazel prequel story... I don't think that is really worth exploring... We knew what she was like from Fine's flashbacks in book 1... or 2... whenever... I mean, sure... She was stranded on an island in the middle of no-where... But once she met Fine and got off the island that's all there is to say...
To have a story with her and Fine just goofing around on an island for 3 months would hardly prove exciting...
But that's just my opinion on it...
Alicorn Octavia?
Can't say I've read any story like that before... Not that I've actually looked for it...
Although I have heard some good things about your TvE story... Might check that out after this series...
Actually I'll probably go through your entire library.... heh...
But, yeah... For me, the most notable characters were Nye and Lightning...
Nye proved that he wasn't just one dimensional... (We can add needy to that list.... ha) And no, that doesn't mean I like him..... yet.... Although exploring his relationship with Rainbow might not be so bad... Since you actually got Rainbow to open up a bit to Octy in Fine's home....
And Lightning from the one line to help Fine... Sure, she developed in the background... But seriously, I'd love to see more of that....
But, yeah... I guess the main reason I didn't mention Uppity or Jim was because nothing of theirs really stood out for me...
4071957
I didn't mean alicorn Octavia was common, I mean the whole 'regular pony becomes alicorn' concept as a whole, or just alicorns in general. How do you not enhance a character's originality? Make them an alicorn. But again, if they have to work for it, it's not so bad...
About the only other thing to add is in relation to the Tazel prequel. You say there's nothing to explore, but I disagree. She was created centuries prior to being trapped on an island. There's the curious origin of her existence (which, if I recall correctly, is touched upon in Book IV), what she did for the first hundred or so years for Silma, her troubled relationship with her creator, and her 'prank war' with Discord. It would end up as a tragedy, though, because everyone knows where she ends up in the end.
And by all means, read TvE! I'd love to get your input on what is definitely my greatest hit so far.
But I'll shut up now and let you get to Book IV.
Just how many sequels will this story have?
4482677
The main series of No Heroes is four books long and long finished (although currently undergoing some very slow editing). I have a number of sequels and side stories planned, including the currently ongoing Lightning's Bolt side story, but the main story is finished.
I have no idea how big the No Heroes universe will be, as I'm basically just expanding it as the ideas hit me. It's not like the Trixie vs. Equestria universe, which has a set beginning and end. I do have a large number of ideas already in the works, though.
4623230 thats good
Big. Developments. Just... so much happened! I'm baffled from how many things have happened...
4881392
Things move a mile a minute in Book IV.
4881452 Hell yeah, let's do this!
So shit happened. A lot of it.
Pinkie's a former bloodmane. Not too surprising, I had an inkling that might be what set her off when she first met him, but my God do I love the potential that brings to her character. Hell, I would dive at the opportunity to see how exactly it's affected her life, and what the treatment made her become. That scene was incredibly interesting.
And then we have Octavia and her unicorn possibilities. Honestly, I'd like to see how much power she can achieve without gaining a horn. Within the huge, magical world they live in there must be more than one way to utilize the power of magic. Creativity can spawn some pretty amazing things. I didn't like what I saw of Benjamina though. It felt like they patched things up way too easily. In fact, I think a bit too many of their problems worked out in the end. Things all seemed to work out no matter the situation. I think a few of the characters would have benefitted more if they lost some of their personal battles, or at least fought a little harder to win them. The stone brothers are case in point. Their father appeared once after the separation, they refused him, and then Luna saved the day. He never came up again. It was smooth sailing after that.
Tazel Wyrm is another sore point. I don't really understand why her existence in the story is important, or necessary. What was she to us, exactly? An unfortunate creature much like Discord who was banished to an island, befriended Verity, escaped, and was enslaved by some bigger bad. That is pretty much it. Aside from her tenuous relationship with Discord -- which isn't really that impressive because it came up only just now in two chapters, and offered nothing more than a neat little niche for the draconequus to be inserted in with some pertinent backstory, who was then promptly gotten rid of -- then the only other major part she played was being Verity's first friend, the little bird he met on a deserted island, which never really had any impact. They met once in the end of her fight and she was driven away by his madness. And then she died. The end. We didn't even get a whole lot of reaction from Verity either, which lessened the lost friendship factor a bit more. She didn't strike me as a sympathetic character either. Though she was enslaved, her actions did not endear me to her, so I wasn't all that sorry on her behalf. Her demise certainly was tragic, but I didn't feel anything when it happened.
The other tool-like roles she played could have been done by one of the other players if necessary. It wouldn't be that much of a stretch. That's just me, though. I feel like she could have been so much more here, but she kind of fell flat.
If I'm being honest, a great deal of this story suffers because it tries to be so much at once, and that applies to the two books before this one as well. It would have benefitted from larger amounts of time dedicated to the character's troubles and how they overcame them. So, in essence, longer series and more writing to do. Which you were already trying to understandably curtail. Sacrifices made, it seems. Were they worth it?
Still, for all that bothered me, I enjoyed this book. I don't understand why it would lose you readers. It didn't shake me off. I fully intend to start the next after finishing this blurb. It was fun, entertaining, dramatic and incredibly epic at points, and I enjoyed the entire experience. This story is criminally underrated. More people should read this. It deserves attention.
Off to Book IV, the final chapter in this thrilling saga. Let's see how this all plays out.
4970343
Yep, pretty much everything you said has been said before, if not in the comments then in PMs or chats. The failings of Book III might not have turned you off the overall series, but it did for a lot of other people.
The real reason Book III fails in my view is because I lost track of the original theme for this book. Books I and II focused heavily on how there's a darker side of Equestria and Luna's ponies exist to face what the Element Bearers cannot. A major secondary theme is the underdogs proving they have a real value. Both of these themes are completely lost in Book III in favor for something a little less and just a touch cliche, and the result is a jarring bump in the flow. Frankly, I pin this down to 'first story blue,' because I consider the entire series my 'first story.'
Fortunately, Book IV goes back to at least one of those original dominant themes. I'll let you judge if it's good enough.
PS – I have sequels in mind for Pinkie and Octavia. The Octavia one will be coming first, though.
Is Tazel Wyrm pronounced TAH-zel worm or TAY-zel worm?
5237362
I always pronounced it TAH-zel, but if you want to be accurate to the origins of the name then I believe it would be TAT-zul.
I really loved this part of the series. It was kind of slow early on in parts but some of the revelations were staggering. Octavia came off very much like a Colonial Brit in India in manner and dress (Where they head to the temple) and backstory. And her interactions with Luna were both fun and instructive as well. Same with Upper Crust as we learn what nightmare haunts her dreams and just why it is now a nightmare for her. Nye and RD being separated was entertaining as well, especially when Nye just keeps embarrassing her when they get back together or even in a shared dream! It was fun seeing Discord out and about and your method of using him in the story was essentially perfect. Stuck around to annoy the heroes then off to annoy other people, plus we get a bit of history behind his past. Tazel was interesting, I actually felt sorry for her at the end, betrayed by the one and only friend she had ever made. And the entire story about Fine Crime and his efforts to end his curse were interesting, from the trophy room to a lonely room in a tower from Fluttershy to all the friends coming together in the end to help. The revelations about Pinkie's past were very interesting as well, and gave a good reason for Fine to have hope, something that I think he needed about then.
5285402
Well, it's good to know that there are people out there who don't consider Book III to be a total flop. I'm also pleased to note that you're the first – and I mean the very first – person to take note that Upper Crust's revealed nightmare was actually mentioned early on. Nobody else has caught that (or if they did, they didn't say anything about it).
Well, you're past the commonly-viewed 'low point' of this series. Nothing left but the final battle. I look forward to your observations.
5326337
I would like to write a story detailing where Tazel really came from, but it's not exactly a huge priority. Too bad, it could make for some really interesting 'History of Equestria' material.
The final battle scene, particularly the speech at the end where everypony had something to say, was inspired by the final confrontation in Final Fantasy 6, which is one of those cherished video game moments from my childhood.
And yes, that cover art is awesome. It was worth every penny and I still sometimes go back to just gaze at it. I'll definitely be commissioning from Eosphorite again.
Pinkie...
Fine is fixed! We all good.
5443054
Cured? Sure. All good? Not quite yet.
5443064 Dun Dun Dun!
5508035
Sweet! I can make more references jokes.
5508405
You might catch more than that. No Skyrim references were intentional... but there are a number of video game references that are intentional, particularly in Book IV.
5508423
I'll keep an eye out!
Phew, took me a bit longer to finish this one. I'm glad Fine is cured, though I'd have thought his body would have deteriorated to the point where physical therapy would be needed.
I'd also totally read a side-story about Pinkie's cure experience.
5518316
You're not supposed to notice that!
Actually, I think you're the first person to point it out. I'm surprised it took so long.
5519131
"The torture rack's spell also keeps the victim's body from deteriorating from disuse, allowing the torture to go on for extended periods of time without the victim becoming too frail"
Problem solved! xD
5618236 Aye, that and I'm a bit slow to catch on to things lol.
And now we enter the home stretch. This ragtag bunch has been as entertaining to watch as ever, and their dreams were quite insightful.
That Pinkie plot point kind of came out of nowhere. Still interesting, at any rate, but it's a bit irritating to have another mystery brought up this late in the game and dangled just offscreen. Is that one earlier post-cure temptation she mentioned of any significance?
I certainly didn't expect Tazel to leave the story this early, but it does make things a little simpler. Poor crazy creature. And did I read correctly that the sea serpent had another name, which may or may not be significant?
6888269
The Pinkie element was always planned, but I'd not had a good chance to reveal it like I wanted to save for a hint in Book 2. My ongoing No Heroes sequel, Beyond the Everfree, is set to reveal a bit more about her, and then I have a Pinkie-centric tale planned that will properly detail her background.
Yes, the sea serpent has another name. You may be familiar with it when it finally comes up. Sadly, I question if a story to properly describe its reasons for being will ever be written. When I first conceived of the idea, it seemed pretty cool. Now it feels like the kind of thing I would scoff at when done by someone else. That's about as much as I can say up until you read Book IV. Spoilers and all that.
Glad to see Fine's problems solved.
The only comment... Pinkie? Really? Was it necessary to go there?
That aside,
6888290 I saw the pinkie thing coming at least...
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Yeeeah, I'd recommend ignoring the author's notes. I was very info-dump happy back then.
and i'm done with this now
If this Tazel found out about her fate in Trixie Vs. Equestria, what would she do?
Naw, it can stay ambiguous. I’m just glad I caught it in the reread. Which, by the way, is not something I often do. It started with rereading The Gentle Nights: AoO, and I’ve been on the binge. Maybe by the time I’m through, an update will appear on the farthest out story.
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If by 'farthest out' you are referring to Life of Pie, then that's actually possible. It is now my #3 priority, which means it's active again, and I should be resuming writing it within a few weeks.
Also, glad my material is deemed worth a re-read! I haven't been back to read these myself in a while. Perhaps I should remedy that as part of my prep.
Wow, so much has happened and I just don't know how to take it.
The pinkemena aspect was cool and worked out so well.
Great book! Into the next!!
does Pinkie ever tell anypony about her being a cured Bloodmane as well?
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You'll just have to read through to the end of the series in Life of Pie to find out!