This is the story of the Solar/Lunar Empire one year before Discord's reign over Equestria. Celestia and Luna were the next heirs to the thrones over Equestria. Their parents, the former rulers of the Empire, are put through heavy flows of anger, depression, and death as Discord begins to take over the Land of Equestria entirely. Celestia and Luna, having no control over the Empire and their respective abilities, they must find the first two Elements of Harmony: The Elements of the Sun and Moon.
Chapters (1)
A bit rushed, try to elaborate more and make the king seem.. Sad.
This story has some potential, although that might just be me being a MLP history fic fan. I did enjoy reading this and look forward to more of it.
However, you may have gone a bit overboard with the italics. Try to only use them when you need to emphasize a singular word or, occasionally, a character's thoughts to themselves. Other than those two, italics are supposed to be used for certain titles, like television shows.
You had a couple issues with tenses; if you're going to use past tense, 'says' and 'replies' should be 'said' and 'replied'.
Other than that, I only noticed a scant few punctuation errors, so you're pretty good on that point.
For further, excellent information, this guide by Ezn is worth a read. http://eznguide.rogerdodger.me/ if you don't trust people linking things in the comments, you can find it on your stories page when you click '+New Story'.
2696250 Okay, I'll make him have a better part in the castle before the first conference. :)
2696302 I understand the tense errors, the italics can be changed if needed, and could you possibly point out the punctuation errors, please? Thanks. :)
>>Fireburst
I'll do what I can, but I am by no means a skilled editor.
You need to use a comma at the end of the dialogue since this is a 'said tag.'
I'm lazy, so you'll have to comb through the dialogue to find the other instances of this.
Other than that, there's only one itty bitty thing.
You missed the period/full stop :P
2696333
Thats good, he seems kind of bland currently.
2696394 Ah. Okay, now I see. I'll keep looking for errors. Thanks!
2697531 No problem. If he still seems bland after I'm done editing, then feel free to say so.
2698651
Okey dokey smokey lokey!
You keep shifting tenses a lot. I can't tell if this is past or present tense.