Of Angels And Demons

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Comments ( 9 )

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Haseo

Haseo #1 · Jun 3rd, 2013 · · · Prologue - There's always a story ·

Not bad for starting out. I will keep an eye on that one

Arck1334

Arck1334 #2 · Jun 3rd, 2013 · 2 · · Prologue - There's always a story ·

Interesting. Where will you take this... I wonder?

Rakaziel

Rakaziel #3 · Jun 3rd, 2013 · · · Prologue - There's always a story ·

It looks like a good start. Small mistakes but well written.

NightmareZodiac

NightmareZodiac #4 · Jun 4th, 2013 · · · Prologue - There's always a story ·

I really like this. I can't wait to see where it goes.

A couple of mistakes that REALLY bothered me were when you said "We've to hurry," instead of "We have to hurry." The "We've" contraction is only really used when "have" is followed by "been" or other similar words, such as "We've been here already" instead of "We have been here already." The same applies to "They've." The way you used them incredibly jarring and distracting.

Those were the only ones that really stuck with me, apart from some comma placements that were a little confusing.
Good job. Better than most, but still room for improvement.

Galicorn

Galicorn #5 · Jun 4th, 2013 · · · Prologue - There's always a story ·

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Thank you all so much.
And thanks for the grammar info. I didn't know that as you've seen and it will help me alot in the future :)

kork

kork #6 · Jun 12th, 2013 · · · Prologue - There's always a story ·

i liked the ambiance, so far i can't really tell were the story will go (or even what was this first chapter about), but i will follow it

DarkCrusader28

DarkCrusader28 #7 · Jun 16th, 2013 · 2 · · Chapter I - Awakening ·

So Sombra was taught the ways of dark magic by an ancient dragon?

Wow, talk about a badass origin story.

I'm sorry about the flooding in your city, but don't worry about taking long for updating, is better to take your time and do it well.

Biker_Dash

Biker_Dash #8 · Jun 16th, 2013 · · · Chapter I - Awakening ·

From the title, I was thinking it would be a Pony take on the book, Angels and Demons, with Twilight in the role of Robert Langdon. Instead, this looks to be something different, but just as interesting.

Isasolis