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RX1

Joined May 2013
18 followers

Groups

Stories (6)

  • Metal gear Dash
    After a having a fatal injury and point to death, Rainbow Dash must fight through war with her new synthetic enhancements.

    22,742 words · 595 views · 28 likes · 4 dislikes
  • Final Fantasy XV: Tale of the Element
    Humans and Equestrian alike go in all out war for the sake of the final Element to further power up their Harmony. Will the Mane 6 be able to stop this global war before Chaos reforms itself?
    6,529 words · 169 views · 8 likes · 0 dislikes
  • I Lost Something Precious to Me
    It was a normal day for the Alicorn Princess and her purple Alicorn student. On one night however Twilight is tricked and is placed under possession and it's up to Celestia to save her. Will she succeed or will Twilight be lost to the darkness?
    3,717 words · 717 views · 26 likes · 7 dislikes
  • Altered Reality
    Worlds Collide and make chaos. Will Equestrian and the Other Worlds come in peace and fight the true enemy?
    16,584 words · 509 views · 11 likes · 3 dislikes
  • Corruption's Judgement
    11,034 words · 422 views · 15 likes · 6 dislikes
  • Fabula Nova Crystallis of Harmony
    27,009 words · 212 views · 11 likes · 5 dislikes

Blog Posts (5)


After being severely wounded barely escaping with her life, Rainbow Dash is now revived as a cyborg in dark times. War is everywhere in Equestria and is in the hands of a stallion named Raven Blood. With new technology Rainbow Dash pushes her new body to the limit fighting all kinds of giant machines and soldiers. Shall she succeed with her friends or will Raven Blood be proved to much for the fast Pegasus. All characters are anthro and if you would like to try, play some metal gear rising music in some battles.

First Published
27th May 2013
Last Modified
9th Nov 2013

Comments ( 35 )

#1 · Chapter 1 · 60w, 1d ago · · ·

Ohhh goody!

#2 · Chapter 1 · 60w, 1d ago · · ·

Okay so first story. Well, it's good for a first. Far from perfect, but at least readable. Try to avoid taking everything from Metal Gear Rising.(Though "Blade Wolf" cutting off Rainbows leg instead of "Sam" was a start to that step.) And props for naming the soundtrack.

I like this though. I've beaten this game at least three times.

RX1
#3 · Chapter 1 · 60w, 1d ago · · ·

Thanks. I'm actually grateful you gave me tips. I'll try

#4 · Chapter 1 · 60w, 1d ago · · ·

story looks good, far from perfect, but good nonetheless...just a couple of nitpicks i need to make to help you on your way;

if this is based off of metal gear, there should be a crossover tag in the genres:moustache:

also, i noticed some spelling errors here and there, i'll point em out so you can fix them

As Celestia proudly gave her that title, but it was suddenly short lived when it was invaded. Not by grphons, not dragons, or chandelings

Gryphons*

Changelings*

" Hey Saddle Girl! I'm gonna go and save Twilight. Mine holding up a bit?"

i think you meant 'mind'

The attacker had blue claws coming from it's knuckles

'it's' translates into 'it is' so what you wrote there was "blue claws come from it is knuckles" correct word should be its without the apostrophe

She began telling the downed cyan Pegasus while spinning her motionless leg. " Your slow, you know only basics of swordsmanship, or you self taught yourself which failed miserably. Uh, oh yeah, Your only normal."

both bold words need to be changed to "you're"

didn't see any other errors but i'm not exactly a qualified editor, i'd run this and future chapters through with an editor to make it as good as possible

and lastly; if one character has some dialogue and they end, when the next character begins talking it should begin on a new line of text

example:

" ARE YOU BEHIND ATTACKING HERE AND ASSASSINATING TWILIGHT?!!" She yelled. Hearing this outburst made the cyborg DJ cover her ears and wince. "Geez. Don't get those wings in a bunch. I'm merely, uh...doing a favor for my savior."

when Rainbow Dash stopped talking and Vinyl started, Vinyl's speech needed to be on a separate line

e.g.

" ARE YOU BEHIND ATTACKING HERE AND ASSASSINATING TWILIGHT?!!" She yelled. Hearing this outburst made the cyborg DJ cover her ears and wince.

"Geez. Don't get those wings in a bunch. I'm merely, uh...doing a favor for my savior."

hope this was of some help, keep up the writing:moustache:

RX1
#5 · Chapter 1 · 60w, 1d ago · · ·

Quick question for anyone who's in the comments, who do you think would be good character for Monsoon and Sundowner?

RX1
#6 · Chapter 2 · 60w, 1d ago · · ·

Thanks for the correction and now I'm on to the third shortly. I hope you enjoy this so far. Is there anything I'm still Missing? If so in the comment below it goes.

#7 · Chapter 1 · 59w, 6d ago · · ·

Alright, I can see lots of grammatical errors, which really just bug me (I'm kinda OCD about these kinds of things), and this is just the first few paragraphs, which is about when I just stopped reading and thought that I would come down into the Comments section and say this.

Now, all in all, the story isn't at all bad, from how I see it, but there is lots of things in this story that just plain annoy the living crap out of me, and again, this story isn't that bad! I can see you were going for a kind of "Metal Gear Revengence" kind of feel, and although you did pull it off in an original fashion (I think it's original, at least.) It's still lacking the mindset of the characters persona, like how they talk.

I.E. Rainbow Dash doesn't talk like she's in the medieval generation. She's more like the Scout from TF2 (If I had to make a comparison of any sort, it would of course be TF2...), but again, this is your first story, and, yet again I say this, but your story is quite original in my eyes, and I just feel like you've kinda rushed over the chapters and didn't proofread.

That's really all the criticism I have for this story, and I think you can make this story better if you maybe take a second look over your chapters and ask yourself, "Does this look right to me?". That's all I really ask of you...

Now I really should shut up and continue reading this once-in-a-lifetime crossover of MLP and Metal Gear Solid, my two favorite things in the world :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by RX1 deleted at 10:27pm on the 22nd of October, 2013
#9 · Chapter 4 · 58w, 3d ago · · ·
#10 · Chapter 4 · 58w, 3d ago · · ·

You need an editor,

#11 · Chapter 5 · 51w, 6d ago · · ·

I wanna see what happens to Lightning:rainbowkiss:

#12 · Chapter 6 · 44w, 4d ago · · ·

:twilightoops:

Strange but Good. Hope for MOAR

:twilightsheepish:

:pinkiehappy:

#13 · Chapter 7 · 39w, 4d ago · · ·

insta fav. why? it's MGS based, that's why. Snake eater is my favorite so far.

are there cardboard boxes in this? I'll read later, school is time consuming.

#14 · Chapter 1 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·

Really brutal dude. But I'm guessing it was necessary for the plot to continue. good so far, from the story's description, ima guess Dash basically becomes Grey Fox (This is MGS inspired, right?)

#15 · Chapter 2 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·

"She continued forward taking noticed the giant was nearing Everfree Forest at any moment."

try "taking notice that the giant was nearing the Everfree Forest"

that's all I spotted :3

still like this story. Dash sounds more and more like Grey Fox to me.

#16 · Chapter 3 · 39w, 1d ago · · ·

"It makes it easy for me to slice them into a cupcake sprinkles. But there is one thing that defiantly bothers me."

that "a" isn't necessary and it's "Definitely". Defiantly is a form of defy, or to stand up to.

"Rainbow Dash was now lost in rage as she suddenly sliced off the soldier's leg here a scream from him which she enjoyed"

", hearing a scream" would be correct :3 (Sorry, I'm OCD towards Grammar, Spelling, and Punctuation. I will probably miss things, considering I'm basically half asleep most of the time because of caffeine withdraw. I used to drink a LOT of coffee and then stopped altogether.)

#17 · Chapter 5 · 39w, 1m ago · · ·

so....Dash the Ripper is a cupcakes version of dash? also, which one is more like the Boss? Vinyl or dash? which one is more like Snake?

Sorry, I like MGS3. I haven't played rising yet.

#18 · Chapter 6 · 38w, 6d ago · · ·

Okay, so Twilight is basically Snake.

this now makes me think of Dash as Raiden and Vinyl as the Boss. (Vinyl as the Boss because she can kick ass easily)

RX1
#19 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 6d ago · · ·

>>3383611

Rainbow Dash= Raiden

Vinyl= Bladewolf ( you may not know who he is.)

Twilight is correct


RX1
#20 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 6d ago · · ·

>>3360790

You know I've completely forgot about the cardboard boxes :facehoof:

You just might get your wish.

#21 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 6d ago · · ·

>>3384035>>3384148

yeah, I have no idea who Bladewolf is. Is that a character from Rising?

and Woo! boxes ftw! for some reason I find it extremely funny to hide from the enemies under the box in the middle of the forest in MGS3 :twilightsmile:

RX1
#22 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·

>>3387199

Yes, Bladewolf is from Rising and at first I was pondering whether Vinyl should have a chainsaw attached to her tail or not. ( since Bladewolf had his at first, but it was removed later on. If you ever play Rising he was a speedy boss when I first fought him.:twilightsheepish:)

#23 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·

>>3394060

Okay. I really want to play Rising, but I have no console to play it one :derpytongue2: My 360 is broken and I don't have a PS3, I have a vita.

RX1
#24 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·

>>3397144

Once you get it. Remember that your going to be in a world of epicness.:raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry::raritystarry:

Oh and very frustrating moments.

#25 · Chapter 7 · 38w, 4d ago · · ·

>>3397300

probably not as frustrating as some of the puzzles from Zelda......but epicness: :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy: MUST HAVE!!!!!!!!!

#26 · Chapter 7 · 37w, 5d ago · · ·

Great Story The best I've ever read im not rushing you but make more chapters:heart::pinkiehappy:

#27 · Chapter 7 · 37w, 5d ago · · ·

Plz

#28 · Chapter 7 · 37w, 3d ago · · ·

Tracking.

#29 · Chapter 8 · 36w, 3d ago · 1 · ·

my reaction to this fics tital and pic

#30 · Chapter 8 · 36w, 3d ago · · ·

>>3397337 water temple anyone...?

it was my fave:trollestia:

RX1
#31 · Chapter 8 · 36w, 2d ago · · ·
#32 · Chapter 8 · 15w, 2d ago · · ·

Right then. I'm going to reread this after I get some sleep. My steam copy of Rising finished downloading after about 21 hours (horrible internet speed) and I now know some of the stuff this is based on.

That game is a fun alternative to the traditional  T.E.A. aspect of Metal Gear.

Also, that damn bridge in the begining. The stupid camera angle killed me six times!

#33 · Chapter 1 · 15w, 1d ago · · ·

>>2637414

Now that I know who they are: I'm thinking maybe Cloudchaser for Monsoon and (because why not) Blueblood for Sundowner.

RX1
#34 · Chapter 8 · 13w, 3d ago · · ·

>>4190951

The only thing that killed me was when I accidentally got hit by MG Ray's rocket when Raiden was running up a building. I mean their EVERYWHERE!!!

#35 · Chapter 8 · 13w, 3d ago · · ·

>>4257903

in the beginning? yeah, that part killed me at least three times.

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