Discord was bored. After being reformed by Fluttershy Discord left with Celestia to go to Canterlot and has been there ever since. He was given his own seat of Government and got to work with the royal pony sisters and give his own opinion in the night and day courts. At first things went well, but overtime things got complicated, Discord's natural chaoticness (if that's a word) caused problems with the balanced and orderly conduct of Equestria's government . It seemed like every day he got in more and more trouble with the guards , the nobles, the cleaning staff, the Canterlot weather team, The Wonderblots, the Changelings, the circus, construction workers, pedestrians, Demolition workers, random ponies, farmers, The cult of Nightmare Moon, and the Canterlot plumbing company( there was a Ten page list of complaints from them). He seemed to cause problems without even trying these days. Celestia and Luna had to keep stripping him of many of his privileges to get him to behave. It was a long and tiring process, but eventually Discord started to do what he was told, but things got worse then.
Celestia couldn't believe Discord was acting normal these days ,but she quickly noticed that was a bad thing. Discord mood seemed to keep getting worse each time she saw him. He no longer had that crazy and mischievous smile he always wore, but a deep frown or he would stare off into space looking sad. He seemed to almost fall asleep in the courts or was half asleep already. She tried bringing Fluttershy and the other Elements (who started growing fond of him) over to cheer him up.At first it worked , but soon he got bored again and looked Depressed whenever the girls weren't looking at him and when they were he had a fake smile on. Celestia kept trying to find ways to cheer him up. She even hired a personal clown for him. In all fairness Discord gave the clown a shot, but the next day the clown quit and left the castle covered in Mustard. Her worries reached their peak when Discord's depression took a scary turn. One day Discord's body went completely gray. Just like what he did to the Elements only it happened to him and he didn't even notice it. She decide something drastic had to be done and fast.
One day after day court ended and Discord left his seat ( he tried to make it out of Potato chips but Ponies complained he was making to much noise eating his own seat of power during court) Celestia went to talk with Luna.
"Luna we need to do something about Discord, He looks terrible these days and nothing works" she said
"I agree" Luna said " Its terrible to see such a Joker like him so sad these days. he used to constantly pull pranks, his favorite was teleporting me into the middle of the male Lunar Guard's Bath house and you into the Solar guard's." she said as a blush crept on both their faces. "If I remember right the Solar Guards thought it was a new type of Surprise Inspection." she said with a giggle.
" yes, yes, I remember" Celestia said with a hint of Annoyance "But I may have a solution to this problem. All it needs is our signatures and a good real estate agent.
" (sigh) everything is so boring these days" Discord said as he chewed a piece o ceiling tile. His room was the only place he could use his chaos magic on and today everything was made of Marshmallows. The Castle staff had long ago stopped trying to clean his room so he didn't have to worry about them messing up his Chaos, but he'd been running out of ideas lately and the room stayed the same for almost a week. There was a knock on the licorice door. "Get in please" Discord said as he floated up upside down to get a good look at the visitors. Celestia and Luna came and smiled up at the grey Draconequus
"Discord we've noticed you've been depressed recently" Celestia said.
"Depressed? me?" Discord asked "what strange thing makes you say that?"
" you're literally grey." Luna Bluntly said.
" I am?" he asked looking himself over for the first time. "Interesting" he said " I've done this to ponies when I was bad but It never happened to me, maybe I should research what's causing this" he rambled off as he floated down and stood up. The princesses shot each other a scared look.
"He's talking like a scientist, this is getting freaky !" they both thought.
"Well anyway It's obvious that this is happening because you can't spread chaos anymore so we decide to find a way to fix that." Celestia said. Discord couldn't help but looked confused as she said this. "we decide you should make chaos, but away from other ponies who could get affected by it , a new start in a brand new area with new creatures." she said with a smile.
"A brand new place, new ideas, new stuff to try... like a new world." discord said with a spacey look. Suddenly all the color returned to his body.
"Exactly" Celestia said excitedly" we can get you your own small section of land to blow off steam and and create whatever you want, We can even pull some strings for it to be in another country if you like." she said to the distracted Draconequus. "
"and new meat......" Discord mumbled.
"what was that?" the solar Monarch asked Innocently.
"It sounds Neat!! I want to do it!!! Discord said flapping into the air.
''Perfect we can start looking tomorrow at two'' Luna said relieved and a little scared to have the old Discord back.
"Excellent" Discord said. In one nano second a mini portal appeared behind his back ,his tail went through it and popped up in the restricted section of the Canterlot royal Library. It took a book from the "Advanced teleportation spells " section and brought it back.''I need to start making ideas at once." Discord said pulling papers out of Thin air( his tail hiding the book behind the papers), siting on a new random jellybean desk and writing with a paint brush in yellow paint. The fooled Princesses left with smiles on their faces. As soon as the door closed Discord looked at the book. " Inter dimensional Travels and you" By Starswirl The Bearded. "Starswirl my old friend you unknowingly helped me yet again" Discord chuckled.
"I think things are going to turn out okay ." Celestia cheerily said to Luna as they walked down the hall. Completely unaware of the events they just set in motion.
There was a unexpected Thunderstorm in Canterlot tonight. Celestia asked why There suddenly was one and the Weather team replied that their boss said they missed a order for one and had to make up for it( not questioning why their boss suddenly had red and yellow eyes and was taller than usual). The real purpose of the loud storm was to hide the sound of a hole being torn in reality. "uuuugh my head" Discord groaned. Spells for traveling to other worlds was hard, Even for a Entity Like Discord. It left him with a small headache after the spell was cast even if there was no specific world he set the spell to. He stared at the whirling black vortex he made and was about to enter when he looked back at Canterlot miles away (never hurt to do it from afar , to just be safe). Wouldn't somepony miss him? Fluttershy would, but she and the other elements( besides Twilight) would grow old and Die and he would be lonely again. The Princesses did want to help him and get him is own place to go crazy, but he would be restricted to just that place and you can't restrict chaos itself, not to mention they just started liking him after two thousand years(counting the years he wasn't in stone). There was also no telling what was on the other side of the Random portal. It could be a world full of monster sharks with four muscle arms, snake Gods that spew acid, Zombies, or any other type of danger. There were many dangers and no sure way of coming back to Equestria. This whole thing was dangerous. It' stupid, It's insane, It's crazy, Its.. It's...
"Chaotic" Discord finished with a evil grin as he's decision was made. He took a running stance at the portal.
"Five. Four .Three Two One. Into a brand new world to have some fun!!!" Discord shouted as he ran then jumped into the portal with no regrets and a new Adventure beginning for him.
I'll review the grammar concepts seeing as the plot is something I am not well versed in.
1. Indentation is your friend. You do so periodically, which makes it not so much of a wall of text, but still makes it very hard for readers to read it. A good rule of thumb is for every new idea, create a new paragraph indentation.
2. Work on dialogue. An example of correct dialogue would be:
Note the comma after the the spoken words before you describe who is doing the action.
3. Capitalization is a must. There are many places in here that need capitalization. There are also many things that do not require capitalization.
4. Try to pace yourself. You went a little fast in order to finish the chapter. It might just be me, but I require a bit more detail before I accept the surroundings to exist and for characters to be believable.
Anyway, just try to clean this up. I'm sure you have a great idea coming along, but without proper writing techniques, you aren't going to get very far in popularity. Let's see what you can do, eh?
AwkwardTaco has a point, but I think that these problems are, most of the time, not noticeable. Don't dwell too much on it, and keep up the good work !
interesting... i will watch
You have my attention.
I love DC comics, and I can only hope you can make this cross over work.
This should be good.
When in the Justice League timeline will this start? Will any other DC crossover's appear in this story? Like Static Shock or Teen Titans.
That is assuming he end's up in the same universe as the Justice League show. He could end up in a DC comic universe, or Young Justice universe.
Well no matter what happen's this is sure to be good.
How will the DC world react to Discord? What will Discord think of the DC universe? Will he end up in a human form, or stay his classic self? Personally I hope he stay's his classic self. That or maybe a mixture between the two. Like maybe a human form to blend in. His Clark Kent form if you will. While using his normal form to do what he does best cause chaos.
DC comics? Darn, now he can't meet Wilson.
AKA Deadpool. Or can he?
Interesting. Has potential, as long as Discord doesnt completely overide the guiding conventions of the DC universe.
I say he becomes a hero and teams up with the witty flash to make Batman laghe
These days...
I've been playing Injustice: Gods Among Us a lot recently, so the timing of this is awesome.
Now, I shall read!
Alright, I've read it now, and admittedly my first thought was that you really need an editor or proofreader or something.
Other than that, pretty damn great. Like'd and fave'd.
Also:
Not sure if intentional or accidental random capitalisation. Either way, I really want to see what would happen if he met him now.
2638495 I think you mean laugh only what I think.
I would just like to take this moment to imagine a fight between Discord and The Joker. Nothing will ever make sense again...
There's way too many capitalization errors.
YES! I need more. I really liked it but there were errors in capitalization, other than that it was really good.
Poor poor batman......
And he thought the Joker was bad
2638667 you are correct
A brilliant premise and an original idea, but it feels like it should be longer.
Okay you must of already thought of this but MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER MEET THE JOKER. Please.
Discord meets the creeper. those two would hit it off also when is he going to the dc earth after justice league unlimited ended? because I find that to be the best point to put him in.
Discord, spirit of Chaos.
Who will he meet?
Probably some other hero who also uses magic.
Like Captain Marvel, Hawkgirl, Wonder Woman, or any other hero with magic.
Probably magic.
2638727 did you know that there was a time (a crossover of Batman/Hulk) where the Joker got reality warping powers, and he made that 2+2 were equal to FISH?
2638873
Batman knows too well how to deal with "comedians" after all, he has made team-ups with The Creeper who is a genetic altered-not murderous-green skinned-and heroic version of The Joker
2638428
What do you mean? super hero comics doesn't have much logic anyway
little known fact On the DC universe MAGIC is more potent than in Marvel universe
2642171 And somehow slightly creepier. Oh Jack Ryder, you funny.
Celestia help us all...
(I have not read the fic yet.)
Its nice, waiting for more
2638362 Exactly, Deadpool cares not for petty things such as 'trademarks' and 'lawsuits'.
2647509
Heck, Wade might be "in town" just so he can screw with his counter part Deathstroke, AKA Slade Wilson.
It's almost like Wade was based off of Slade.
NAAAAAH! Everybody knows he's supposed to be a Spiderman knock off.
2649793 Eyup.
Fear me, for I am Deadmacinpool.
Great story, but you really need to proof read this. Finish a chapter and then come back the next day to edit it. That way, you can find all of those silly mistakes. Now, I have a gold star to click............
You have a good idea, a very interesting idea right here. However, people won't pay attention to it if the grammar get's butchered faster than a pig in a meat shop. Pick up an editor, re-read through your chapter to see if you made any mistakes, make sure you know what exactly what you're doing. Otherwise this story will slip through the cracks and be ignored.
Shorter? They need to be longer!
I'm not sure what the league consists of but who make up the Justice League?
Like, I know Batman and Superman for sure.
And I think Green Lantern, The Flash and Wonder Woman too...
Am I missing anyone else?
Great story so far, but you need to work on your spacing and capitalization. Always put a space after a comma (,) or a period (.) never before. And never put a capital in the middle of a sentence, unless it's a name or the word I. And when you split up dialouge you always put a capital at the beginning.
2653484 martian manhunter/ john jones and hank girl and thats all of them.
please have discord become human it would make a lot more sense in my opinion.
2655753
I know Marthian Manhunter but not the hank girl person.
First time I've heard of her I think...
I just read the description and Am already exited!
P.S. poor batman
Now to see on what level discord will be put in the DC-verse.
If he is on a level with Mister Mxyzptlk (the guy joker got his reality warping powers from to screw over the world) it should be really fun.
And if we already are throwing in universe jumping Discord could go and visit the Marvel-verse and screw around a bit and annoy the Avengers together with Deadpool.
2656768
I think they meant Hawk Girl...
2660048
Okay, that person I do know.
personally I think you need to work on your grammar a bit.
And pacing, but not really.
Other than that, this seems very interesting :p
2661716 Pretty much all DC hero's are in the justice league.