• Member Since 19th Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen 16 hours ago

the dobermans


T
Source

A young Princess Celestia helps her baby sister discover her true identity.



First winner of the Luna is the Best Pony group's Mini-feature contest!

Recommended reading for EQD's 2021 Luna Day!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 26 )

Well then... This is depressing.

I like it!. I couldn't find any issues with it. It seemed a bit rushed right about the part where she locked Luna in the room, and then just one line later, she decided to check on her. Maybe add a few more lines for filler? It works the way it is, just a bit rushed. Leave it if you want, it hardly kills the story.

A+.

Celestia was most horrid to us. We are glad thou art telling the tale of our childhood. We very much enjoy thy work.

As much as Celestia seems incredibly out of character for a story not marked Alternate Universe, the writing for this is incredible and I can't help but upvote it.

That said, I'm a little confused, how did locking Luna in a little cell get Luna her cutie mark? The ending felt somewhat rushed and left too much to the imagination.

This feels unfinished, but I loved it all the same. I hope at some point you can continue this and explain somethings that felt missing.

2629295

Hail Princess! One should not be made to suffer based on the facts of one's nature, and yet every day ... :trollestia:

2629471

Thanks for your critique, and the kind words. I did consider adding the Alternate Universe tag. What kept me from doing so was that this scenario could, as far as I could imagine, have happened in the canon universe, given that it occurred so long ago that Celestia had not yet developed the sense of empathy we see in the show. If the story took place in "present day" Canterlot, I definitely would have given it the AU tag.

2629821

Glad you liked it! Hmmm. Does Celestia get caught, or does she get away with it? Has she learned her lesson yet? Will Luna truly recover? Hard to say.

this was pretty good but Im lost? How did Luna get her cutie mark? What happened to her? this need another chapter my good man/lady.

This was without a doubt, beautiful. Inspired by Poe's "The Cask of Amantillado" you say? Brilliant, and it shows. :twilightsmile: YOU, sir, have a deft hand at weaving a tale set in a timeline such as this one, and I consider your writing style to be very lyrical.

3502066

This is literally my face right now: :twilightblush:

4218525

Hey now, I'm just a scribe! I don't appreciate Celestia's cruelty any more than you do.

:trollestia:

4219021 do not worry, that's just my opinion.
I really like the way you write, it's just the poor luna suffered much already.:twilightblush:

Well, congratulations, thou made me cry.
Art thou happy now?

7359111

I'm sorry, revered Princess. Please don't send me to the dungeons. :fluttershyouch:

7359726

Dost thou think us that callous?
We are not even sure when the dungeons were last used ...

7732646

Thank you! Of all my stories, this is still the one that means the most to me. If you're interested in similar stories, check out my group:

Sad Luna

The folders are arranged in order of how sad I thought the stories were (least to most). Feel free to join too if you like!

7732660

Of all my stories, this is still the one that means the most to me.

I can see why. It's quite beautiful.

Certainly it tore at my heart.

7899961

So glad it spoke to you! There seems to be so much that remains unresolved between the Royal Sisters.

Poor Luna! This is really good, and if you intended the reader to use up a few packs of tissues, then you succeeded. I don't get what Luna said at the end, though.

8734573

Thanks!! I'm glad you found it worthy. If I remember, Luna was referring to her cutie mark in the last line.

8735072
*applauds* Now this is one of my favourite stories ever! I thought you were referring to Nightmare Moon it something like that. :raritywink:

This is very dark. I like it.

Damn, dude. That slapped, like ooooof. The final line is golden.

10418980

Thanks! So glad you liked it. :twilightsmile:

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