Six could see it clearly.
There she was: prone, half covered in mud and reeds as she slowly crawled through the muck and swamp towards the lights in the distance; her only way point in the dark of night.
It was day four of her mission, and she had found her target to be completely oblivious to his impending doom after she had waited so long for a shot.
Taking a soft, slow, deep breath, Noble Six steadied her sniper rifle and aimed down her scope; locking the reticle on the poor Insurrectionists' head.
As he finished his cigarette, flicking the spent butt to the ground and turning back to head into his tent, Noble Six felt the familiar and comforting pressure of her rifle's butt against her shoulder.
Her target went down, and Six tore her eye from the scope.
They wouldn't find her, no matter how hard they tried.
The swamp would give her away, true, but the night was her ally, and a quiet foot was all she would need to slip back into darkness before moving on to another target, in another place.
It had been three days since her fight with the dark horse.
Three days since she pissed off the white horse.
Three days since they did something to her rifle.
Three days without food or water...
At the thought, Six's stomach clenched in pain.
She hadn't seen nor heard a single living being from beyond these thick walls, which she tried to bash through for hours on end; barely making any progress.
It wasn't supposed to be this way. She was a Spartan. An advanced killing machine capable of slaughtering entire armies if needed.
Instead of war, the sound and smell of death, the blood splattered across her visor... Noble Six was alone, once again.
And she did not like it.
She felt empty; without a purpose, now.
Spartans were trained, from childhood, to be the best of humanity as a whole in the ways of war.
They were quick thinkers and sharp shooters, and not to mention efficient killers.
They were not prisoners. They were not empty. And they most certainly did not feel... So... Empty...
Noble Six struggled to remain calm, relaxing her hands and laying down on her back as she left her meditating pose; staring up at the dark, bland ceiling of her prison through he cracked visor.
It was just a little crack, really. One from the top left of her visor, down to the halfway mark between the beginning of the left side of her vision and the lower center.
She rather liked it, now, as it reminded her of battle. Truth be told, she had technically earned it in battle.
A battle that she had lost, however.
Lost in her own depressed thoughts, Noble Six barely noticed the door to her cell slide open.
As she stepped into the cell, and Shining Armor shut the door behind her, Twilight Sparkle just stared.
She stared at the creature, who lay on the ground as if defeated; like it had given up.
Is it dead? Twilight thought in quiet horror, only to be reassured when the being tilted its head up at her.
Twilight offered a small, friendly smile as she carefully lowered the covered tray of food onto the floor of the alien's cell, giving it a little nudge in its direction.
In response, the creature held Twilight's gaze for a few moments before sitting upright and slowly reaching its hand out towards the tray, grabbing the handle at the top and curiously peering under.
What it found seemed to shock the creature, as Twilight noticed it visibly shook, albeit slightly.
Sensing the creatures apprehension, Twilight carefully levitated a leaf of lettuce from the prepared salad to her lips, making sure the creature watched, before placing it in her mouth and chewing slowly; finishing with a loud swallow.
"Food. Eat." Twilight said slowly, in hopes that the creature would understand.
For a moment, Twilight felt as if she had been hit by another brick that made up the cursed language barrier, but, to her surprise, the alien picked up a few leaves in its hand and brought them up to its face.
Twilight's eyes nearly burst from their sockets as she watched the alien bring its other hand up to its face, lifting its head a bit until a soft, thunkish 'click' could be heard; revealing pale skin behind what Twilight now realized was a helmet, not a part of its body!
Twilight continued to watch in amazement as the creature ate the leaves cautiously, perhaps fearful of the beings that had capture it.
When it decided the food was safe to eat, it dragged the tray closer, keeping an unseen eye on Twilight as it ate until the tray was barren. When it had finished, it replaced its helmet to its normal position and made an odd gesture of apparently pouring something onto its face.
The realization clicked for Twilight, immediately.
"Water, of course!" the young Alicorn exclaimed excitedly, nodding enthusiastically in understanding before signalling Shining Armor to open the door.
When the purple pony had left, all that remained in the room was a silent glaring contest between the Captain of the Guard and the hostile alien.
"I don't like you." Shining Armor said, as soon as he was sure Twilight was out of earshot. "You know that, even if you can't understand me. The princess should have killed you when she had a chance and be done with this whole situation. If you ever lay one of your filthy hands on Twilight, I will end you myself."
Content that his message had gotten across, even in the slightest, Shining Armor turned his back on the caged creature and moved out of site from the small little, unblocked slot in the door.
Twilight Sparkle returned soon after, levitating two glasses of fresh water with her as Shining Armor opened the door once again to let his sister inside.
To Twilight's excitement, the creature was now standing, and seemed to brighten as Twilight returned; closing its hand around one of the glasses offered to it by Twilight and lifting its helmet just the smallest bit once more before downing the contents without pausing for breath.
When it had finished, it held the glass out to Twilight, who exchanged it for the second one, which the creature also downed rather quickly.
When Twilight was sure its thirst had been quenched, she set the glasses aside and pulled out inkwells and quills, as well as a series of drawings from her saddlebags- levitating the first up to the creature so that it could properly see it.
The creature had been fed, and it was time to study it.
Noble Six smiled under her helmet as the purple horse returned; carrying two delicious looking glasses of what she could only hope and assume was water in some sort of anti-gravitational field.
When offered the first, she drank every last drop of cold, refreshing water before quickly exchanging it for the other.
When both were empty, and Six's body satisfied, she found herself staring at a detailed drawing of two horses- one male, and female, based on their genitalia.
After studying the two pictures for a moment, the purple horse pulled the drawing back and, with Six's attention, pointed its hoof at the female horse before pointing back at itself.
It's a female. Six mused. Couldn't be more obvious with that coloring.
Nodding her head in understanding, Noble Six then pointed to the female horse, as well, before placing her hand against her chest.
The purple horse gave a small smile and a short nod in understanding before brushing the page away and producing another; this one a drawing of a sunset, or a sunrise.
Noble Six cocked her head in confusion before looking up at the horse, who gently tapped the paper to catch the Spartans' attention once more before using her hoof to slowly cover the sun.
Sunset... But why? Six thought as she nodded slightly.
The purple pony produced another drawing, this one a star chart, before holding it alongside the other and tapping on the brightest star, and then herself.
When Six did not respond, the purple horse slowly repeated covering the sun, tapping on the bright star, and then motioning to her own chest.
A name? Six thought with idle curiosity. Sunset Star?
Giving a nod only seemed to excite the mare, despite the fact that Six didn't fully understand, but it was worth it to move on to more important things.
As the mare set the drawings aside and began sifting through the other papers, Six picked up and began studying star chart; trying to find any recognizable constellations among the horses own identified.
Everything on the chart was so... Wrong. Six was able to see some familiar constellations backwards, but others were twisted and stretched in ways that couldn't be possible for them to be the same constellations.
And yet, they still vaguely resembled those that Six managed to remember. She was a soldier, not an astrologist.
When Six lowered the drawing to check on the purple mare, she found that she was being eyed rather curiously, instead.
She's looking at the star chart... Is she trying to find out where her home is? Oh, maybe I could show her our solar system, and then she can show me hers! Twilight thought excitedly before scooting the inkwell and quill closer to her; grabbing a blank sheet of paper before beginning to draw their solar system as the alien leaned in, curiously.
When Twilight had finished her crude drawing of the solar system, she levitated it closer to the alien, who studied it closely before turning to Twilight and simply staring.
Twilight felt like a little filly under the scrutinizing gaze of an alien most likely so highly advanced that it was possibly offended by her poor drawing.
But, her irrational fears were quelled when the alien bent down to grasp the wet quill before flipping the page over and drawing her own solar system.
When she was finished, Twilight found herself staring at two solar systems, to which the alien pointed at the first, and then herself, and then the second, while guiding her hand down along her body.
Twilight shook her head in confusion, and the alien did not attempt to explain any further.
Sighing in slight frustration, Twilight instead brought the previous two pictures and went through the motions of explaining her name, before pointing her hoof at the female creature and giving a quizzical cock of her head.
This time, the alien outright refused to give an answer- shaking its head slowly in the universal sign for 'no', to which Twilight was even more confused.
Why would she need to hide her name? Twilight thought before she realized the alien had taken the quill and paper again, drawing what looked to be an odd stick before pointing firmly at it, and then herself.
It was then that Twilight saw the creature's mirror-like mask was cracked.
When I first read the description, I was boggled.
Second time through, still confused.
Then the haze lifted: alternate univeeeeerse! :D
Haha. I'll mark this as Read Later. It sounds promising
no matter what Sabban seems to be saying.img.pandawhale.com/42268-You-had-my-curiosity-but-now-y-MK6z.gif
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me when i see a second chapter has come out in one day
then i finish reading and feel its too short then im like
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2627628 At least you got two chapters in a day?
Two chapters in a day? Excellent.
As of right now, I am pleased to say that I have been pleasantly surprised by this story.
As a huge halo nerd, I instantly clicked this fic because of well, it's halo. However, I then realized where I was, and I had prepared myself to read yet another tale about a super hostile spartan, beating the living shit out of every pony they see. The reason why this is the problem for me, is the fact that so many authors keep making the Spartans out as machines that exist to kill and nothing else, need I remind everyone about spartan 062, Maria, the spartan who RETIRED TO START A FAMILY.
Therefore, I am very pleased to see that you have shown that this spartan has at least some heart, and thus, I shall give it a like and fav, actually, looking at your other fics, I'll throw in a follow as well.
(P.S. by some heart, I am referring to how she tries to communicate with twilight, yet has some kinda issue with Luna's face)
Is the first system that Six draws the Epsilon Eridani? I know the second system is the Sol Sysytem!
2627789
I've read most of the books and played most of the games but never ever followed a fan fic.
Do people really make out Spartans to be that one track minded killing machines? Emphasis on "machines." Because nowhere, absolutely nowhere at all, have I ever seen any of the Spartans portrayed as monsters. Most of the time they're portrayed as even more human then the un-agumented/civvies, 117 especially.
(Sorry to the author for the derail in conversation. I'm pretty much entitled to at least give this story an actual read and comment later, aren't I?)
2627814 I'm not all too familiar with how eyes work, but that'll come in handy if someone presses the issue further! Thank you!
2628538 Very good! You get a cookie! But I eated it :c
The Eridani system was a bit tricky to draw, since the only information that I could understand was about Reach.
2628586 You have to understand, however, that the way they're portrayed is from the human viewpoint, and they're incredibly used to war and violence.
Take, for instance, the fact that the Covenant calls Spartans Demons (unless that's only true for Master Chief, in which case my point only stands on one leg). They call them that and words similar because they're killing machines.
Now, to a race who (in my headcanon) hasn't experienced a proper war in well over a few thousand years, that perception of the Spartan's abilities would be over exaggerated.
Gee, this isn't stolen at all...
2628765 It isn't, actually. The author gave me permission to write it, and you would've known that if you read chapter one.
2628768 So he said 'sure, you can take my story, clumsily rewrite a few sentences and put your name on it'?
2628776 Pretty much. Go and check his userpage if you need more proof.
2628768
Well then, give proof and post it right up front where everyone can see it before rash words are unleashed.
2628777 He said you can write a HiE 'similar to' his story.
You changed one letter in the title and one name in the story.
You've 'written' a story with the find/replace tool.
2628780 Or, you could go to Gravitys Rainboom's page and look at the comments so I don't have to go through the bullcrap of "It's photoshop!"
Here's a link, straight from Chapter One: Gravitys Rainboom
2628787
For somebody with nothing to hide or cover up, you sure are behaving quite defensively.
2628783
My exact words on his profile. Have I done anything besides that in this story?
2628794 I'm simply covering all the bases, because things like this get tiring very quickly.
2628798 There's a difference between 'similar to' and 'copying story, plot, characters , locations, and everything else, but changing one name'. This really is pretty sad.
2628801
Then take my advice and just put up your green light and inspiration right in the long description. That way, nobody even brings it up at all.
2628807 It's in the first chapter, so it's not an issue if someone gives it a chance at all.
2628806 Then move on to another story and stop wasting both of our time, if you don't like what I wrote.
2628819 it's not a matter of him not liking the story, it's a matter of plagiarism.
2628830 Please refer to the previous comments, and have a nice day.
2628819 The only thing you 'wrote' are these comments. Stealing something and tacking your name on it isn't writing something.
Are you really this desperate to try and get Internet famous that you're flat out stealing other people's work and insisting they gave you permission?
Oh WOW. Not only are you a thief, you're a coward, too. Protip: blocking people who point out you're a thief and a coward is never conducive to success.
I like the language barrier. The fact that Twilight and Six are struggling through it instead of using an autotranslate spell makes this story very, very interesting indeed.
2628842 Please refer to the previous comments, and have a nice day.
2628847 A thief, a coward and *LAZY* to boot.
2628586
It's not that they're portrayed as machines per se... But in almost all of the fics that I have read which have Spartans in them, usually have him/her causing absolute chaos with for no discernible reason.
My main point however, is the 'no discernible reason' aspect, granted, all of said stories claim that it is because the Spartans are just not used to the sudden change in environment, but I mean c'mon! Even Spartans should know how to calm down at least every once in a while. Right?
To specify, the chaos that they create usually come in the form of the spartan attacking an innocent pony, thinking that it was some kind of new covenant species. And this irks me mainly because, I figure after all the shit that the Spartans have seen, they should have learnt by now that 'shoot first, ask questions later', is really not a good idea.
That in mind though, I give stories involving spartan 3s or ODSTs some leeway, considering the 3s have drugs that make them react more instinctively and troopers are borderline sociopaths.
2628871 Please refer to the previous comments, and have a nice day.
2628878 If you're going to steal a story, you could at least try stealing the parts that are GOOD
2628889 Please refer to the previous comments, and have a nice day.
2628901 At my old school, we NEVER committed plagiarism and tried to cover it up by blocking everyone who points out the fact we're a thief!
2628905 Please refer to the previous comments, and have a nice day.
2628912 According to my research, plagiarism is not only theft, but illegal, too!
2628783 2628830 2628842 This story is different. In the story "MIA" Jorge appeared in the center of a party, did not get thrown into the dungeon, could speak the same language as the ponies and was not in canterlot (for the first chapters). There are other significant differences that you can look up yourselves. Bye
Love how nobody actually read/understood how you got permission to write this...Shows the level of writing I should attempt if I ever actually submit here. I'll use short and simple words and avoid complex sentence structure >.>
That aside, I really like this idea, even moreso than MIA. The fact is that the chances of a Pony-like race speaking anything resembling a human language in reality are LAUGHABLE at best. I love the touch about how you had Six try and tell Twilight her species is from Earth but she herself was from...if my Halo trivia is still up to its former standards...that would be the second colony to fall (name is escaping me at the minute though).
You've also managed to capture the reactions I'd expect from all Ponies involved thus far, and Twilight especially well.
Also have to love how people are going out of their way to say you're stolen the story when you've changed so many things within even the first 2000 words. It's like they didn't even read MIA and just decided to pick on you
I think this is a great story idea. I'm a fan of MIA, so this sounds intriguing.
2628765>>2628776>>2628783>>2628842>>2628871>>2628905>>2628919>>2628830
I am a big fan of MIA and I am looking at both stories side by side right now. While they are both based on a very similar premise, they are quite noticeably different stories. That is, the author is not simply " 'copying story, plot, characters , locations, and everything else, but changing one name'."
I don't really get where the claims of plagiarism are coming from, or the insistence that the stories are identical besides changing one name. Those who bothered to read both stories should very quickly realize that while they start the same way they diverge pretty much immediately upon having the main character end up in Equestria.
Yes, the initial set-up is very similar to MIA, but so are many other HiE fics. Hell, MIA has a very similar initial set-up to a number of other HiE fics, yet I don't seem claims of plagiarism there. This whole shitstorm is entirely without basis. It's a witchhunt.
Also, the sockpuppeting is a bit annoying and dishonest. (c'mon, Dorothy Ann? Phoebe? Both created on the same exact day and both having Regidar making the only comments on their profiles? And a similar situation for all the other connected profiles)
2628794
That is a bullshit response. "If you've done nothing wrong you've got nothing to hide".
He's being defensive because he is being unfairly and unjustly attacked.
These posts 2629017>>2629503 have it exactly right, and if that still isn't enough to convince you here is Gravitys Rainboom's response to all this.
2627628 Boondock Saints. That, sir, made my day.
dint read it yet please dont dissapoint
the corvette? isnt it the covenent
2629244 ...That seems reasonable.
So, Six wants the weapon back.
Why did Twilight only notice the crack on the helmet?
2630042 In which part?
2630057 Because it opens the door to getting her armor off in later chapters.
2630066 back at the first chapter meaby i miss read it