Facts about ponies

by BeardedRedMane

Hugs

Oh man, excuse me for a second, I think I'm hyperventilating. No, no. Rest assured, I'm not in any mortal danger. That is if you don't count dying from a lethal overdose of cuteness. It's been a couple of days since I've been in a position to sit up and talk and you better believe that when that second hit Pinkie Pie was all over me. Y'know I'm serious, there is just something about Pinkie Pie that brings a actual smile to my face. I still remember the days back home when while at work I would just open up my pony folder and flip through images.

There's this really cute one of Pinkie and she's got her face in a glass of chocolate milk and is trying to drink it. But unfortunately her face is too big and she is just mere inches from being able to enjoy the delicious chocolaty beverage. That's not the only picture of Pinkie that makes me smile but it's a good example of Pinkie being Pinkie that just fucking reaffirms my devout love in ponies. At first I will admit that ponies not being half my height and hold-able might have hit me a little hard but hey, just means more of Pinkie Pie to hug.

Well anyway to the present situation, Pinkie had just burst in with the entire gang while I'm sitting on a spare bed, feet on the ground. "Goooood Morning Anon!!! How are you feeling today? Do you think you will be up and running soon? I hope you are! I can't wait to throw a get well party-- oh and of course we'll have to throw you a welcome to Ponyville party-- OH! And--"

"Uhm, excuse me Pinkie, but Anon isn't really strong enough for all of that activity just yet." Fluttershy began but quickly changed her tone when she saw Pinkie wilt in sadness. "But I'm sure we can put together a tiny little get together around the house." That bit of information sent Pinkie into one of her happy spasms as she stood up on her hind legs jumping up and down.

Oh God. At times like these I am seriously reminded at how pint size I am in comparison to them. While standing normally from their hooves to their shoulders there are a good 5ft tall and when you includ their heads they are around 6ft tall. I can look a pony straight in the face while they stand on all fours, however when they stand on their hind legs…

It's a completely different story, they fucking tower over me… That NEVER happened on Earth. I'm still not used to it; I mean I'm like the size of a damn doll in comparison. But still… I REALLY want a hug from Pinkie Pie-- and not even in a perverted way. I genuinely want a hug, just the sheer thought of it is making my heart beat at an unhealthy pace. Well.. Maybe there's a tiny bit of perversion to it in the back of my mind, maybe my hands would wander around her flanks as I--..

No…

What're you thinking Anon? WHAT are you thinking about doing to that adorable.. slightly large..

With Pinkie still on her hind legs and her arms raised I too decided to raise my arms, waving them around in excitement. Turning her head toward me Pinkie looked down and smiled. "Looks like somepony wants a hug!"

Pinkie… I..

Ever so slowly for what seemed like an eternity, Pinkie inched closer to me with open arms. In a mere foot I would be within that sweet furry embrace. Six more inches, my hands were probably sweating buckets in anticipation. Three inches-- did you know that Pinkie Pie smells delicious? I mean just like an assortment of cakes and chocolates galore oh god the embrace can't come soon enough. The distance we're at probably couldn't even be calculated anymore, her arms nanoseconds from wrapping around me.

And finally the embrace came, as she closed her arms around me and lifted me up I felt three of my rips shatter. Later that day I awoke with the most pleased look on my face and fresh bandages.

Worth it.

• • •

Man, I really feel bad about what happened. Emotionally, not physically. I fucking loved that hug and would do it again. After three of my ribs audibly gave way to the cuteness that is Pinkie Pie I was instantly let go as the room turned into an uproar of worry and heightened voices. I really feel bad for Pinkie, being the one who gave me such an amazing hug she took it the worst but hey, I'm not angry at her in the least. How were we supposed to know that ponies were stupid strong?

I mean insane strong, that strength just doesn't make sense, I know Earth ponies are supposed to be the strongest but I remember her crying to Fluttershy as she stabilized my breathing that she had given me a "light" hug because she didn't want to hurt me. God part of me wants to see what a full force Pinkie hug could do to me. Probably send me on my way to nirvana.

Anyway my recovery process was slightly impaired by that but a week later I was finally able to let Pinkie know it wasn't her fault. Fluttershy had been livid and forced me to stay in bed and forbid any kind of outside contact which I knew was really just fear for my safety. Anyway I was finally able to cheer Pinkie up by telling her that we could practice hugging until she got it just right.

I can't wait… hue.

Er-- anyway, onto the extent of my injuries. I honestly don't know how I survived as long as I did in that forest, I mean the lack of food aside the number of monsters in that forest is stupid. They outta burn that forest to the fucking ground, I managed to escape that place relatively intact. The biggest of my injuries was the concussion I received on both the front and back of my skull, the one on the back being relatively light and the one on the front splitting my cranium slightly. It healed into the coolest looking scar ever! It runs down in a zig zag path from the right side of my forehead down to the outside of my eyebrow on the same side of my face. There were also numerous light fractures and bruises all over my body, most of which had been healed. The only real damage I had now was the three fractured ribs from Pinkies hug. I will treasure them for the rest of my life.

"So… Anon, how are your wounds?" Fluttershy asked in a light motherly voice. Partially not wanting to make her think her efforts had gone to waste jumped up from the bed and flexed my bicep in response. The other reason was probably because I had been holed up in Equestria so long and the only two places I'd been were the Everfree forest and Fluttershy's cottage. Which was cool and all, but it would be nice to visit a place that I wasn't either near dying or being nursed back to health in.

"I'm fit as a fiddle, really! I feel if I don't get up and do something soon that I'm going to lose my mind!" I replied honestly, though my fractured ribs ached whenever I-- well whenever I did anything, like breathing. That wasn't gonna stop me from my tour of Ponyville, I KNOW its coming, it's in all of the fanfics. C'mon Fluttershy, just reaffirm it for me.

"Well I suppose if you are feeling up to it Pinkie has really been wanting to show you around Ponyville." YES, thank god for some things that are still canon in our view of ponies. "But I want you to take it slow-- if you get tired you can always ride on my back for a while."

Trying desperately to hide my smile I nodded as she smiled in return. "Alright then, we'll have some breakfast before the others get here. It's going to be a long day and you're going to need your strength.

Oh man will I.

Author's Note:

Man I really wasn't planning on updating this story the next day but when I checked back and saw like 20 favorites and a load of comments I was like, "Well alrighty then." So here's Anon's second fact about ponies, they're stupid strong.

Comments

[Shilic]

I still find it crazy that we're shipping and making speculations over cartoon ponies designed to sell toys to 6 year old girls.

[poisedanimeBloke]

Two questions.

Why the hell could you not think of any name other than 'anon' for the Human.

Why did you have to go and make 'anon' a perverted freak who want's to fuck animals?

[Brother Roga]

We want moar!
th03.deviantart.net/fs70/200H/i/2012/248/8/e/fluttershy_wants_moar_by_alexgoestrollandlol-d5dqge6.png

[darkmatterbutterflies]

2617275 I believe you mean "wants". Apostrophes indicate possessive or they contract. Anne's apples. Anne could've (could have) eaten the apples. The big exception you'll encounter every day is "its", which is possessive, with no apostrophe. Some important group of jerks decided that it should be like the other possessive pronouns: hers, his. Remember those two rules and that one exception. Integrate them into your being. Become one with the apostrophe. Ommmmmmm.

Although he raises the question in the most hostile way possible, Trekee raises a good point. The character is kind of empty, except you go out of the way to establish that he's got a mild sexual fixation on the characters, BeardedRedMane. That's not actually a bad writing move, as it could make him interesting and add tension and conflict, but right now this guy needs character. As it stands, he's a American brony of above average height. That's not much of a character. He needs strengths, virtues, flaws, vices, fears, dreams, and unique mannerisms.

You're obviously a beginning author, Bearded, and you seem young. Don't get discouraged, and keep in mind that fanfic is where lots of writers started. It's a good place to spread your wings, although you might one day find that it's a bad place to fly. Anyhow, I think you should ask yourself what you want this baby to do here. What are you trying to tell FIMF's readers with this fic? And where are you going to land this sucker? That is to say, have you got a conclusion to this story in mind?

"What if ponies were larger than we preconceived them" is obviously what you started with, but why? And why did you choose a narrative form to explore it?

[Quicksear]

<<<<< See that face? Yeah

Please don't hate me, but...

This chapter was...fast. One can tell it was written very soon after the first. Although I don't dislike the premise, I have to say that the pacing was way off: It was too fast! I can't even tell how long Anon (I'm sure you can tell this was an unpopular decision) has been in Equestria. I may not be able to comment on content (Which I in fact love here), but I'd like to give a tip: read over the whole chapter as if reading it aloud, and where you want a pause, comma. Commas are awesome, I tell you!

Pinkie's hug scene should not have been a reflective scene, I don't think: Pinkie's antics require immediacy to work out right, so write them as action rather than memories, if you know what I mean.

Also, I think you could do with inserting some descriptive paragraphs in between scenes, to set time-frame and emotion, or even just to indicate time passing. It works well for fledgling authors (First tip I was given, and it helped...I think) and seriously improves pacing.

Your human needs some character development, even just some background. Something to make him relatable.

Regards,
Quicksear

[BeardedRedMane]

Hm, alright an Anon we can relate to eh? I'll see what I can do on this tour. Instead of more of a past tense memory this entire chapter shall be a telling as it's happening deal. Since Fluttershy lives a ways away from the town and I assume it's a 15 to 20 minute walk in the least we'll go through some talking.

2617275
As for the name Anon *shrug* I discovered MLP browsing ****ch*n one day and then from it discovered H.I.E. which they call Anon in Equestria. As for the perverted freak, well he's from "that side" of our brony fandom. Too many stories have romance between a character and a pony when the MC never once before had a fetish for animals. Not that I'm planning on shipping or anything here, just rather not go that route.

[Mr V]

Interesting. This seems like it'll be worth keeping an eye on, anyway.
Although huge ponies do seem kinda gross. I mean, their heads would be the size of one of those big rubber exercise balls. That's just freaky, man.

But the real question everyone will have to ask themselves is: is this a story about giant ponies or a story about a tiny, leprechaun-esque human?

[Runoratsu]

I know exactly what image you mean. And it's the cutest thing EVER. I'm usually more of a Twilight person, but that image gets me every time I look at it, and I can help but smile and d'aaaawww.

I like your story so far. Yes, it might have a few shortcomings, and – especially in the second chapter – there are a few spelling and grammatical mistakes, but hey, it still reads nicely and is overall quite cute. Thumbs up from me!

[Genesis1212]

Cracked ribs ii understand WORTH IT! XD im lovin this so much xP

[WorldWalker128]

2617275
Well, let's call him Frankie. Or Thomas. Or Jacob. Or any name other than Alex, Hunter, Shepard, or Conner. Those 4 are the names I've seen most often used for the guy-in-equestria fics.

[AJapple]

here's a thought....if Pinkie Pie is super strong....what about Applejack? She's been working on a farm forever, I'm guessing she would be super strong. I mean bucking appletrees everyday would do that to ya.