Chapter Fifty Nine
Being an alicorn of a seasoned and experienced nature, sleep was something that Celestia would admit, she didn't have an absolute need for. Certainly it was something she enjoyed, and had come to deeply enjoy when possible. Those few hours between the beginning of dusk, and just before the dawn, was time she looked forward to experiencing. No royal duties that need to be overseen. No petitioners that had to be heard. None of that. Once the sun had set, the day was done.
But regardless of such facts, if push came to shove, she could truly go without sleep for long periods of time. And while it wouldn't negatively affect her health, it certainly wasn't pleasant to experience. She knew that fact from experience; nearly a thousand years worth of experience to be precise. And even though Luna had been returned to her, and was once again able to guard the night, Celestia's experience was something that proved difficult to completely get over. There were still times during which sleep proved itself elusive to her, and to varying degrees of a frustrating nature. Some times were better than others. Some times she didn't mind being awake for long hours at a time; mostly because Luna was there with her, and that time could be occupied in a productive manner between sisters.
All that said, however, there were times when she truly yearned for sleep, but was denied its sweet embrace.
However this night was not one such time. Although sleeping the entire night through would've been sought after, she couldn't in good conscious do that under present circumstances. Not with the complications they were currently facing with Rainbow Dash and her condition. In light of everything that had happened over the course of the day, they needed to be alert. They had allowed themselves to fall into a false sense of security in assuming they had everything under control; everything well in hand as Ulquiorra might say. And that assumption had come back to bite them in their flanks when their backs had been turned.
On second thought, a stronger expression may be needed. That assumption had come back to bite them square in the ass.
In light of such developments, new precautions were being taken. In addition to Nurse Goodwill -much to Celestia's surprise, the unicorn still wished to continue in looking after Rainbow Dash's wellbeing- two guards would also be present, should anything arise this time around.
On top of such precautions, outside assistance would be getting involved as well. Because of everything Rainbow Dash was experiencing, it was painfully apparent that the problem they were facing was far beyond their own skill levels. The top physicians in Canterlot were going to be called in later today, in hopes of determining if there were any biological or environmental factors that could possibly explain everything that had happened up to this point. They themselves had been unable to find any signs that would indicate magic was in play here, and they had searched extensively. At this point it only made sense to defer to others, who would have a greater degree of skill and experience in fields they were unfamiliar with; they were rulers, not scientists.
Or at least... they hadn't been in so very, very long. Were their original fields of study even relevant in this day and age? The last time either of them had been involved primarily in the field of science was-
"Gah!"
Her thoughts were interrupted by something warm and wet against her face, startling her, and sending her falling backwards to the floor where she landed squarely on her flanks. Immediately she began looking around for what the source of the disturbance might be, but all she saw was Luna standing before her.
"And hello to you too, sister."
With several white hairs stuck around her muzzle...
"Luna, what did you do? Did you... did you lick me?" Celestia asked as she climbed back to her hooves.
"It would appear so," Luna answered, completely nonchalantly about the accusations that were being made.
"Why... why would you ever consider doing something like that? It's so... juvenile," Celestia replied, dumbfounded by her sister's actions.
"You were asleep where you stood, sister, I was worried that if I did not wake you up, you would topple over," Luna explained in defense of her actions. "And my other attempts at awakening you proved futile. So I... improvised."
Celestia stared blankly at her sister. There were a lot of things she could say right now. A lot of questions that could be asked as to why Luna figured licking her face like a dog was a good idea. And a lot of reasons to object to such a foalish approach of waking somepony up.
But at the moment her mind was elsewhere. She could've sworn she'd been fully conscious in the time preceding Luna's impromptu wake up call. And yet her sister had managed to approach from her from the front, and she hadn't seen or heard her. Maybe she really had been asleep. But then how had her mind felt so active at the time?
"Really now? And how long was I asleep for?" she asked.
"Not nearly long enough, I am afraid. I would have allowed you to rest longer, but it is not long before the dawn, and I assumed you would like a little time to freshen up before the start of the new day, after being awake for nearly the entire night," Luna explained.
Celestia couldn't help but smile at Luna's thoughtfulness on the matter. Even with everything currently on her plate, she still took the time to look out for family. She was about to say something, but Luna was already speaking again before she could.
"I appreciate your time awake, dear sister. But as I explained earlier, you did not have to stay up the entire night with me. I am more than capable of overseeing matters on my own," she explained.
"I never meant to suggest otherwise, Luna. But with all that's been occurring, I don't think I could've slept even if I tried. Nor would I have felt right in just expecting you to take care of everything, while I retreat to my chambers," Celestia replied. She couldn't, in good conscious, simply abandon her little sister and expect her to oversee the kingdom, and Rainbow Dash's care simultaneously.
Perhaps it was time for a change of subject, before one of them wound up saying that they would later regret.
"How is Rainbow Dash doing at the moment?" she asked.
"At the moment she is resting. Peacefully, and comfortably, I am glad to say. When I last checked on her, she was entertaining far more pleasant dreams than when I first arrived," Luna explained and gave a tired sigh. "To be honest, I am so very thankful to have her sleeping now. For a while after her bath, I did not believe that she would ever quit crying. She was hit hard by the gravity of everything last night, not the least of which being her actions against Rarity."
"I see," Celestia replied. Luna's words about Rainbow Dash's reaction was somewhat comforting. Knowing that the pegasus felt guilt over her actions suggested that there was still hope to be had in this situation.
She considered asking Luna for details at to what those more pleasant dreams were. But she decided against intruding into such a private matter for the time being. There would be time for such discussions at a later point in time. "And what of Ulquiorra? Where might he be at the moment?" she asked. He had been brought back to Canterlot to aid them in looking after Rainbow Dash. It wouldn't do if he had wandered off... unlikely as such a ridiculous thought was.
"The last I saw of him, he was in the royal library, surrounded by all the available books on pony anatomy. As best I can gather, he is attempting to memorize anything that bears even a passing resemblance to what Rainbow Dash is experiencing," Luna explained. It'd been some hours ago, but she had no reason to believe that Ulquiorra had moved from the spot he'd rooted himself to in the late hours of the evening.
"Now why would he be doing that?" Celestia asked curiously. Ulquiorra had been the one to first suggest involving medical professionals. So what could warrant a late-night cram session on various -and potentially obscure- medical conditions that were native to their dimension and reality?
"From what I understand, it is his intention to make sure any diagnoses are factually accurate in nature, and not subject to mortal bias," Luna replied. "I suspect he believes the doctors in Canterlot are incompetent in nature."
Celestia wasn't sure how to respond to Luna's statement. Ulquiorra was certainly entitled to his own opinions. But right now it was just a matter of suspicion. However he had been the first one to suggest involving outside doctors for evaluation purposes, in order to see if they were missing something when it came to Rainbow Dash's condition. Perhaps her less than stellar recounting of the lack of details concerning the manticore had caused him to take a biased stance?
Or perhaps it was something else entirely. It sounded utterly crazy to even consider, but could it actually be possible that Ulquiorra cared? And if so, then to what degree did that care extend? Was it simply a sense of duty? Or... did it actually go further than that?
Her thoughts on the matter, however, were interrupted by the familiar tingling sensation of a message being delivered to her, which occurred just seconds later, the rolled up scroll dropping into view before being grasped in her magic.
Under normal circumstances, receiving a letter was something she enjoyed. Something to look forward to, to break up to monotony of the day. Something that had its own special way of helping her see things just a little better. But all those times had occurred during the daylight hours, when Twilight and the others would have good reason to be awake. It was still technically before dawn. And while it wasn't out of the ordinary for Twilight to be up at odd hours of the night, she highly doubted that Spike would be up as well. Not unless the situation utterly demanded it.
With that thought in mind, she didn't waste a single syllable before unrolling the scroll to see just what it had to contain.
Princess,
We may be facing a situation in the library with the Elements of Harmony, but I don't know for certain. I don't even know if I can adequately describe just what the situation is, because I don't understand it myself. Can you please come immediately?
Twilight
Celestia stood silently as she read the letter, uncertain of just what to make of what little was actually there. She was accustomed to Twilight's tendency to ramble when she was upset. But this was something different, and straight to the point. She couldn't help but wonder if her student was too worried to ramble. Which begged the obvious question of just what the situation with the Elements of Harmony was.
"What does it say, sister?" Luna asked, uneasy with Celestia's long stretch of silence in the wake of the mysterious letter.
"I'm not certain, Luna, but I suspect it's not good," Celestia replied as she turned from the letter to her sister. "How long before dawn officially begins?" she asked.
"Less than thirty minutes," Luna replied. The matter must've been more upsetting than her sister was letting on, if she didn't even know how long it was before she was scheduled to raise the sun. "Why do you ask?"
"There's little time to properly explain things, Luna, we must depart for Ponyville at once. Both of us, as we may both be needed," Celestia replied, hoping that the short answer would serve the intended purpose.
"Very well then. But what about Ulquiorra Cifer? Should he accompany us as well?" Luna asked.
"No," Celestia replied and shook her head, "it would take too long to fetch him. We'll need to go without him. Leave him undisturbed in his studies, he may be onto something we don't yet see," she explained.
Luna simply nodded and said nothing else. With another nod both sisters were gone in a flash of light, headed for Ponyville.
The change in detectable reiatsu levels was impossible for Ulquiorra to not notice.
In his time spent in Canterlot, he had come to be familiar with the sheer amount of reiatsu that was normal from one day to another in the palace. Not only from Princess Celestia, and Princess Luna, but a majority of the guards and staff whose presence wasn't -quite surprisingly- overshadowed by that of the diarchy.
So it went without saying that he was quite aware of the moment that intense reiatsu lessened by a significant degree. For whatever reason, both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna had left the palace at the same time.
He had no idea of why they had left the palace. Nor did he particularly care. He had more important matters to deal with at the moment, such as the books before him. And occasionally pausing in order to make use of the writing supplies he had acquired last week in Ponyville, by copying down something he found to be noteworthy, and stuffing the note back into his satchel for future reference.
"Don't panic, Twilight, don't panic. Just stay calm," Twilight thought to herself as she paced anxiously in the library, her path illuminated only by the flickering flame of a glass oil lamp currently perched on the table not far away from her position. But despite her best efforts at calming herself down, the results she was getting were less than stellar.
She had awoken stiff and sore after a long, long night's sleep. So long in fact it had started in the afternoon of yesterday, and concluded less than an hour ago. Being unwilling to simply lay back down and wait until the first signs of dawn, she'd gotten up, gotten a hot shower, and decided to make herself a nice cup of coffee to jump start the early morning... after disposing of the long cold tea that Spike had left on the nightstand for her.
Despite the early nature of the morning, everything was going as well as could be expected, all things considered.
Or at least, it had been, right up until she had paused in front of the case that held the Elements of Harmony, and discovered that something was amiss; the blackened gem that resided in the necklace of the Element of Loyalty.
Her immediate reaction had been to scream hysterically at being presented with this unforeseen development, scaring Spike in the process, and waking him up out of his own slumber.
The secondary response, after a few choice words being hurled between her and a very upset Spike, was to take a breath, send a letter to Celestia asking for help, and wait for her response before continuing on. And while that was good in theory, it didn't work out quite as well in actual practice. To a certain extent she could control her body, and force herself to stand still. But there was absolutely no way of making her mind stop running through infinite possibilities that chilled her to her very core.
"Just try and think about this logically. Remember what Ulquiorra said," she told herself, hoping that referencing the Espada, and his unique observations of their world, would help calm herself. His not dealing in emotions could prove beneficial here, if she could just properly channel him. "Examining this situation from a purely logical, clinically detached, scientific perspective, we really don't know anything about the Elements of Harmony. We have almost no understanding of how they work, or how precisely they're tied to us. Perhaps the Element of Loyalty has gone dormant due to Rainbow Dash grappling with feelings of betrayal?" she asked herself as she continued to pace.
It was a train of thought that made sense to her. If Rainbow Dash didn't know who to trust, who to be loyal to, then perhaps it was a logical extension that the Element of Loyalty wouldn't respond. Perhaps it was reflecting its bearer's current state.
"But if that's the case, why didn't the Element of Loyalty go dark when Rainbow Dash was upset at us over Mare Do Well?" she asked herself as she turned around. "What's different about these two incidents? I mean... other than the fact that Rainbow Dash currently believes we raped her for our own sick benefits? Could this be a symptom of whatever, or whoever, is affecting her? And if so, does this mean that the Elements of Harmony themselves can be affected by outside parties?"
She had to stop that train of thought immediately after starting it. She didn't want to start down that path of worry; not at this point in time. Shaking her head, she tried to think of something more benign in nature.
"Why am I just now noticing this anyway? If the Element of Loyalty went dark when Dash was attacked, wouldn't I have noticed it sooner?" she asked herself as she turned again. "Then again, I have been pretty occupied with other things over the last few days. The investigation with Ulquiorra, practicing my own skills with the lightning spell, attempting to teach spells to other willing unicorns, etc. Could it simply be that I've been far too busy to notice something like this occurring? Did I now notice it only because I was stopping to reminisce about Rainbow Dash, and was subconsciously drawn to look at her Element of Harmony specifically, because it helps me remember her, like some sort of a keepsake?"
It certainly made a fair bit of sense to her. The past few days she'd been faced with no specific reason to be looking at the Elements of Harmony themselves, simply because she knew that nothing could reach them through the forcefields that were currently in place. Not once did she ever consider that something like this might actually happen.
"Here. Drink this."
Her focus was suddenly broken by Spike's voice, and the next thing she knew, he was standing by her side, holding a cup of steaming hot coffee in front of her face, letting the aroma of the blend work their way up her nostrils, and teasing her to inhale the fragrance as deep as she could.
"The last thing you probably need right now is a lot of caffeine in your system. But you need something to serve as a distraction right now," he explained, figuring that coffee and the jitters was probably the lesser of the two evils he was facing right now.
"Thanks, Spike," Twilight replied and took hold of the cup, sipping away at its contents. He probably had a point that coffee wasn't entirely appropriate right now. But at the moment she really didn't care. Deep down she knew that he was right, that she needed something else to focus on, besides the uncertainties of what they were currently facing. She had to divert her mind to something else before she wound up driving herself insane.
"I don't know what I'd ever do without you," she commented in between sips of coffee.
"Probably rely on our friends a lot more, driving them crazy in the process. Maybe take out an advertisement seeking a personal assistant who can keep you from going batty with worry," Spike joked in response.
Twilight frowned in response, not particularly liking Spike's idea. But that frown soon turned into a smirk when she realized he had a point.
"The only problem with that idea, is that nopony would know what I meant until after I explained just what "personal" meant," Twilight added and chuckled, before taking another sip of her coffee. "And then there would be the little matter of disclosure, just so they knew what they were getting themselves into. But then I don't think I'd get any applicants if they knew just how much work was involved."
What was this? Self-depreciating humor, coming from Twilight? Spike didn't really know exactly what to think of it. But perhaps it was best to head her off at the pass before she went too far in putting herself down.
"Well what can I say? It's not like everypony's cut out for keeping up with Princess Celestia's own prized student," he pointed out, causing her to chuckle in response.
"A fair point," Twilight agreed, before polishing off the cup of coffee. "I needed that. I really did," she stated as she levitated the empty cup over to the table and set it down. The look of relief she wore on her face, however, disappeared seconds later. "But now I'm right back to wishing Celestia would just hurry up and get here. I'm going to go crazy, just standing around and waiting."
Spike opened his mouth to say something. He didn't know exactly what he was going to say, but he knew that it was going to be something.
However his efforts at speaking were interrupted by a bright flash of light in the middle of the room, bringing not only Celestia into the room, but also Luna as well.
"Talk about service," Spike mumbled.
"Good morning, friends," Luna greeted them pleasantly, despite the potential severity of the situation they were about to face. She was about to say something else, but immediately stopped in her verbal tracks and sniffed the air. "Is that coffee I smell?"
Coffee? That was the first question Luna decided to ask upon arrival here, after being informed by Celestia that there was a problem with the Elements of Harmony? Was Twilight to seriously believe her own ears?
But then she stopped at that thought, and remembered just what time it was, and how it was before dawn's early light. If both Celestia and Luna were here, it meant that one had arisen early -likely in response to the arrival of her letter- and the other was possibly due to turn in soon. Suddenly the idea of coffee seemed much more reasonable.
"Would you care for some?" she asked.
"That would be more appreciated," Luna replied and nodded.
"Alright then. Spike, two cups of coffee!" Twilight stated.
"I'll take two cups as well," Celestia stated. The response she earned was nothing but confused looks. She couldn't help but chuckle. "You'll have to forgive me. It sounded funnier when I thought of it, but I've been up for nearly twenty four hours straight."
Luna just shook her head in response. Sometimes her sister's sense of humor left a lot to be desired. But regardless of such, two steaming hot cups of coffee were soon presented to them. Two steaming cups that were soon drained of their contents in an almost simultaneous fashion, and set aside on the table next to their identical companion.
"Much better," Celestia said with a content sigh as she licked her lips, before turning to face Twilight directly. "Now then, Twilight, what's this situation with the Elements of Harmony?" she asked.
"I don't even know where to begin. The Element of Loyalty is... well... just... see for yourself," Twilight said and finally gestured with her foreleg in the direction of the glass case by the stairs.
Celestia's eyes followed the invisible trail between Twilight's hoof and the display case, bringing her view to the Element of Loyalty to see what had gotten her student disturbed to the point she couldn't even talk. It took a few seconds for her sleep-deprived brain to finally put everything together.
"It's bad, isn't it?" Twilight asked. When Celestia didn't say anything at first, she waited. But the longer the silence stretched -even if it was no more than just a few seconds- that wait seemed too nerve-wracking to put up with, and she couldn't help but say something in an effort to put an end to that silence.
Unfortunately her efforts at ending the silence yielded no results. Celestia didn't say anything in response to her, but rather just continued staring at the display case. Luna had joined her in her activities, thus doubling not only the silence that was encompassing the library, but also her worry and dread.
The fluctuations in the ambient mana were impossible to miss. She could feel the forcefields, the same ones that had been responsible for protecting the Elements of Harmony ever since their relocation to Ponyville in the wake of Discord's release, being undone with such utter ease, it was as if they were nothing more than foal's play in nature. The only thing standing between the Elements and the outside world was the glass case itself, and that was soon levitated up and set aside, leaving them totally exposed now.
"It's bad, isn't it?" Twilight repeated, hoping that this time she'd be answered.
Celestia didn't say anything in response, instead opting to levitate the Element of Laughter up off its cushioned resting spot, and carry it over to where Twilight stood.
"Hold this in your hooves, Twilight," she instructed.
Twilight blinked in confusion, but did as instructed. She sat down on her haunches and reared herself up, holding her forelegs out as the Element of Laughter was gently deposited in her hooves.
"Tell me what you feel, Twilight, what does the Element of Laughter say to you?" Celestia asked her.
"Well I..." Twilight started but paused, unsure of how to respond. She looked down at the Element, rolling it between her hooves as she thought. "It's warm. It almost feels like being in the sun when it cuts through the clouds. And it... it makes me feel kind of happy too. I feel like everything's alright."
Celestia nodded slightly, before levitating the Element of Laughter out of Twilight's hooves, and replacing it with the Element of Loyalty. "And what do you feel from this one?" she asked.
"It's... it's cold," Twilight stated in surprise. How could there be such a drastic difference between Laughter and Loyalty? Why was their nothing emanating from it? "There's nothing coming from it. Nothing at all," she said as she looked down. "It feels like it's dead."
"No. Not dead. Merely dormant, in a deep state of hibernation," Luna replied as she turned to face the now surprised Twilight.
"I-I don't understand. You mean like when we discovered them in the old castle? When they were just stone orbs?" Twilight asked.
"Similarly, but not quite," Celestia replied before gingerly lifting the Element of Loyalty up, and placing it back over to where it had previously rested. "I trust you remember how Nightmare Moon smashed the original vessels of the Elements of Harmony."
"Do I ever. I don't think I've ever been so scared in my entire life, as I was in that one moment," Twilight replied, unconsciously wrapping her tail around her hooves as she recalled that particular memory. "I'm sorry, but I'm not seeing it. How exactly is that relevant to this?" she asked. What was Celestia getting at?
"You'll soon understand," Celestia assured her, before she began to explain the matter. "Although they may be absent in certain situations, the aspects that contribute to harmony are something that can never truly be destroyed. When Nightmare Moon shattered the original vessels, she merely destroyed their physical representations, but the magic inside remained untouched."
Luna nodded, before continuing for her sister. "Untouched, but also inaccessible in their then-current form. You see, Twilight Sparkle, the artifacts we commonly refer to as the Elements of Harmony are not the true source of their respective aspects, but merely the conduits through which these aspects are utilized for good, and in a highly concentrated form. It is these conduits which Nightmare Moon destroyed, knowing that without these conduits, the true Elements of Harmony could not be utilized against her."
"But they were reformed!" Spike interrupted and gestured at the open display case just ahead of them. "See? All six of them are right here, right in front of us," he pointed out.
"That's true, Spike. When Twilight and her friends were present in the old castle, the individual attributes of friendship that they possessed within them, resonated with the magic inside the remnants of the original vessels, and allowed them to be reforged and reformed into the new vessels that you see before us now," Celestia explained calmly. "This is what allowed them to be used again. But I'm afraid this also made them drastically weaker than they were originally..."
WHAT!?"
It was a simultaneous yell from both Twilight and Spike, and it was enough of a surprise that made Celestia flinch in response. She needed to address this before panic was had.
"Originally the physical representation of the Elements of Harmony, the conduits through which their aspects were transmitted, were six individual gemstones. Back then any pony could make use of them, so long as they were one of pure intentions. In theory, Twilight could have utilized all six of them by herself, and defeated Nightmare Moon on her own. But now that's not the case anymore. Once the Elements of Harmony reformed as a result of resonating with the others, they became magically linked to one another, rendering them usable only by their respective bearers," Celestia explained.
Luna nodded in agreement. "They are bonded for life. It is for this reason, that the Elements of Harmony cannot be reassigned to any of our royal guards, or any other ponies who are more adequately equipped for dealing with dangerous situations. If it were tried, they would simply refuse to respond."
"The bond you girls share with the Elements of Harmony is exceptionally deep and strong. And it is, unfortunately, for this reason that the Elements of Harmony are exceptionally weak at this point in time. Due to the nature of the resonance shared, there's a symbiotic relationship to be had. The Elements of Harmony won't work if their respective bearer no longer possesses the attribute themselves. The end result is... as you see," Celestia added, gesturing to where the Element of Loyalty currently rested.
Twilight had been listening to the best of her abilities, trying to pay attention to what was being said, and understand what they were saying. But unfortunately, understanding just how bad the situation was, wasn't making her feel any better about what they were facing. If anything it just made her feel even worse.
"Then... that's it? There's nothing that we can do?" she asked, barely able to keep her composure at this point.
"I'm afraid not. Rainbow Dash has unfortunately had her sense of loyalty taken from her. So long as she remained affected in the manner she has been, the Elements of Harmony will remain unusable," Celestia explained and closed her eyes.
Silence once again engulfed the library, and everyone present inside of it, as the information sank in.
However that silence didn't extend to Twilight's mind. While she might've been quiet and still on the outside, the inside was filled with a chaos more appropriate for a war zone. There was incoherent screaming to be heard all around. Various profanities, both of an Equestrian and Espada nature -even a few hybridization attempts of the two- were being lobbed in every direction, drawing out imagery that was of an utterly obscene nature, and devoid of any redeeming qualities, was flashing before her, and serving to just remind her of how utterly fucked they were in this situation.
She could feel her lip starting to twitch right now. The obscenities she was keeping within, were desperately begging to be unleashed on all that were present. And she didn't know how long she could go before shouting things that could potentially make both Princesses blush.
"Uh oh..."
And then suddenly it stopped. That one little utterance on the part of Spike, had caused the chaos in her mind to suddenly be paused, as she turned to look at him.
"I just thought of something. And I really hope that I'm wrong. But... I don't think we should let Ulquiorra in on this conversation we just had," he suggested uneasily.
"Why's that, Spike?" Twilight asked him, curious as to what he was getting at.
"Well, after everything you said," Spike began as he looked over at Celestia and Luna, "about the Elements of Harmony needing a physical conduit to work. And how those conduits are tied to Twilight and the others for as long as they live..." he paused, uncomfortable with where this conversation was going.
"What is it, Spike? What concerns you, and how does Ulquiorra Cifer factor into this?" Luna asked him, curious as to what the thought process was, that was causing him so much displeasure.
"Well... as long as Rainbow Dash is incapacitated, the Elements of Harmony won't work, right? And the Element of Loyalty won't respond to anyone else as long as Rainbow Dash is still alive, right?" Spike asked.
"Wait, Spike, you can't be serious!" Twilight objected, and loudly at what he was suggesting. Or at least what it sounded like he was saying. She had to be sure. "Are you saying Ulquiorra might actually kill Rainbow Dash?"
"Would you actually put it past him?" Spike asked as he turned back to look at Twilight.
"Yes I would," Twilight stated, "Spike, how could you actually suggest something like that? Ulquiorra's our friend, remember? He's been looking out for us, and keeping us safe. And I can't believe you'd think that he would actually kill one of us just like that. Like we're nothing but disposable commodities to him, and fit to be discarded the moment we're incapacitated."
Celestia blinked, surprised at Twilight's statement pertaining to Ulquiorra's character. Where exactly had this sudden defense come from? And what exactly was serving to make her so... hostile about her position?
"I mean, seriously, Spike, how could you think something so terrible about somepony?" Twilight asked him, horrified that he'd actually be entertaining such disturbing thoughts and possibilities.
"That's just it, Twilight, Ulquiorra's not a pony. And you seeing him as a friend doesn't change that fact," Spike pointed out, getting to the heart of the entire manner. It was only sheer luck that old habits of dialogue had been guiding Twilight, and she'd used somepony, instead of the newer term somebody, that allowed him to get to the matter as quickly as he had. If it wasn't for that little slip up on her part, this would've taken a whole lot longer.
"He might be living here with us, he might even be speaking the same language as us. But none of that changes the fact that he's simply not a pony. He's not even an Equestrian. He's not even from this dimension. He doesn't think the way we think. He doesn't do things the way we do. And I just think it's dangerous to expect him to do so by default. It's not in his nature, and it's not how he operates. I honestly think that if he believed he could reestablish Equestria's security by nightfall, he'd do so without a second thought as to what it might take to do it."
Celestia listened as Spike presented his case to Twilight for consideration. As much as she hated to admit to it, Spike was presenting a very good argument to defend his position. No matter how much they all went through, the simple fact of the matter was that Ulquiorra simply wasn't one of them. He came from a world where killing was the norm, and where the inadequate were eliminated, and replaced by those who could get the job done properly.
She remembered how she'd instructed Ulquiorra not to cause any harm to her subjects. But considering everything that had happened up to this point, she could honestly see Ulquiorra interpreting those orders in a way that would almost require him to put the needs of Equestria as a whole, over the well being of a single traumatized pegasus. She could easily see him arguing that he would be lax in his duties if he allowed Rainbow Dash to live, as her broken state was causing the Elements of Harmony to remain useless, and putting them all at risk of some yet to be determined danger.
Ulquiorra wasn't a pony. That was an obvious fact. He didn't see things from the same perspective that they did. And as much as she wanted to believe that her efforts at making him learn about friendship had instilled at least some positive attributes into him, she highly doubted that anything he'd learned would be enough to overcome his logical and analytical nature. She had no doubt in her mind that he would view such a situation as being nothing more than a numbers game, weighing the costs of each scenario against one another, and believing he was justified in taking the route that saved as many lives as possible.
"I'm afraid I must agree with Spike on this one," she stated softly and shook her head, before looking back at Twilight. "I don't want to say Ulquiorra will take such a course of action, as that would be condemning him unfairly. But I could certainly see him believing that it would be the most logical choice to make, claiming that the needs of the few, must be balanced against the needs of the many," she explained.
Twilight was stunned. Mortified. Horrified. How exactly had everyone around her come to expect the worst from Ulquiorra? What had he done that convinced them of this twisted notion? What were they going off of, that she was oblivious to? She certainly couldn't think of anything that would support their worries. They... they just didn't understand him, that was all. It was no different than the average pony not actively taking an interest into the joy that could be had from proper organization and efficiency.
"Well then. I guess it's good to find out where everyone stands on this matter," she said softly.
"Do not misunderstand, Twilight Sparkle," Luna spoke up as she extended her wing to stroke her mane and back. "We are not saying that Ulquiorra Cifer cannot be trusted. We are merely speculating about the level of dedication he possesses with regard to his primary mission. It would be... inappropriate... for us to do otherwise," she explained.
"It's not that," Twilight replied and slouched under Luna's wing. "It's just that... if we're actually questioning whether or not Ulquiorra would do something like this, it means that none of us have been able to teach him anything about friendship. What if... what if he was never our friend to begin with? What if he was just telling us all what we wanted to hear?" she asked.
It was a thought that Twilight truly didn't want to consider. But now that it was out in the open she found it impossible to ignore. What if they were all right, and she'd simply been naive in her beliefs about the Espada? What if he hadn't learned anything about friendship? What if he couldn't learn about friendship? Had he been playing them all this time? Had he... been lying to her when he said he'd be her friend?
"I think I need to talk with him," she mumbled as she turned her head to look over at Spike. "Where's Ulquiorra now?"
"He's, um..." Spike paused as he tried to think of how to put things delicately. Twilight had been out for all of the excitement yesterday, leaving her oblivious to what had happened. How exactly did he lay such a revelation on her, without causing her to freak out?
"Ulquiorra's currently in Canterlot, ensuring Rainbow Dash doesn't make another escape attempt," Celestia stated calmly when she saw Spike was having trouble coming up with an answer.
"... What?" Twilight asked after a long pause, as she tried to comprehend just what was being said. She turned from Celestia and back to Spike, but then looked back at Celestia with uncertainty. Her head felt like it was beginning to swim. Quickly she turned back to Spike again. "Spike, what exactly is going on around here? What's everyone not telling me? What happened?"
Spike's unease was starting to grow, as Twilight singled him out specifically with her questions. And he really didn't see Celestia and Luna coming to his rescue right now. He was going to have to face her by himself.
"Yesterday Celestia sent us a letter, saying Rainbow Dash had escaped, and might be coming back to Ponyville. Turns out she did. But we managed to find her and stop her before she could hurt anyone, and she was taken back to Canterlot," he explained, glossing over the finer details of yesterday's events. "And before you even ask, I didn't let you know because you were asleep, and as tired as you were yesterday, I wasn't about to wake you up for anything short of the library burning down around us," he quickly added, seeing her opening her mouth to ask him what was bound to be the obvious question.
"... So... let's see if I'm understanding this right. Just so I know where we stand, because I'm starting to feel lost," Twilight said slowly after a long, silent, awkward pause. "Rainbow Dash, in a mentally impaired state due to unknown reasons, broke out of Canterlot, and came back to Ponyville to find Rarity, and I managed to sleep right through it. The Element of Loyalty is dormant because it can't properly resonate with Rainbow Dash in her current state, and there's absolutely nothing we can do about it, except wait and hope that she recovers. And now we're questioning the possibility of what Ulquiorra might be willing to do to us, if he were to come and view each of us as expendable in nature. Am I missing anything?" she asked them after listing off the main points she could immediately recall, her left ear flicking in the process.
"I am afraid not," Luna replied as she once again began stroking Twilight's back in an effort to keep her from getting too excited. "The situation does indeed appear dire. But we are not about to give up. We are going to do whatever we can to make things right. For Equestria, for the Elements of Harmony, for Rainbow Dash," Luna paused in her explanation, and wrapped her forelegs around Twilight to pull her into a hug. A hug that, she was thankful, was settled into without much resistance. "And for our friends. We will not leave others vulnerable to fend for themselves."
Celestia watched silently as her sister did her best to comfort Twilight during this stressful situation. Then her attention turned to where Spike stood, and just looked on in silence. In her tired state she couldn't help but wonder just how many hugs the young dragon had been excluded from. That thought just wouldn't do.
So out of courtesy and compassion -and if she were to be perfectly honest with herself, a little bit out of sibling rivalry- she extended a wing to sweep Spike up into an embrace of her own. There was no reason he just had to stand by and watch on in silence while being left out. Especially not after all that he'd been through. The fact that he was pondering matters as deep and disturbing as death, while still being as young as he was, was a disturbing fact in and of itself. What exactly had he been through, that she wasn't aware of, to give him such a bleak outlook?
But perhaps right now it was best not to linger on such thoughts. She might not like where the answers could potentially take her. For now she would simply focus on the matters that she could directly affect; such as their friends that needed them.
Even though the situation they were currently facing was more dire than any she could immediately recall, she still had confidence that they would still find a way to get through it. But that would only be a possibility if they did it together.
The whole conversation between Twilight and Spike, made me think of the new MAS episode.
I could also see Ulquiorra doing that, if he found out about it to.
This was a great chapter.
No Celestia, he just doesn't want to fail a task he has been given, not again.
… I have the faintest feeling that Spike's theorem is correct. Scratch that, it's a completely OVERBEARING feeling. Ulqy's gonna do it. RD's been mentally shattered, with expected recovery time to be within at least nine, ten weeks? Full recovery would be in at least three years. At best. They don't have enough time for either. Enemy X could be using that time to prepare Super-weapon Y, or Plan Z (Yes, I know. A SpongeBob SquarePants movie reference. Get over it). Time can't be wasted for the sake of one pegasus' recovery. To quote Kenshiro: "You are already dead."
Ironic that the youngest one amongst them was the more mature and less naive about Ulquiorra. Hell, he admitted himself that he is a heartless killing machine to them. Seeing as how the procedure for Rainbows recovery so far was nothing more then hugs and gentle words, Ulquiorra's doubts about Equestria's doctors competency are well placed.
Awesome chapter.
Good
5067142
Did you forget Preperation H?
Good chapter; it's good to see that, at last, Ulquiorra's bonds will be put to the test.
Honestly, being doubtful of the guy will only serve to corrupt his fledgling concept of "friendship". Oh well- they're not omnipotent, right?
I like how they're just now coming to terms with Ulquiorra's dispassionate demeanor and how he may not actually consider learning friendship despite that being on his to-do list.
Something tells me that Applejack's next in line...
i usually hate fics like this. everyone is so obsessed with the action that they end up rushing their story in horrendous ways, ways that usually contradict the character they are supposed to be writing about. they change what could have been a really interesting story into a blatant power-fantasy, and sound retarded as fuck as they do so!
almost all of them can be explained with these simple steps.
step 1: (insert name here) gets teleported to equestria.
(depending on character) step 1.5: any reason they would not get along with ponies gets suppressed. suddenly a character who's defining trait is his insanity and/or violent tendencies gets the thing that has plagued him for as long as we have seen him removed... how can these shit writers honestly do this? seriously, just write a LOHAV story, at least then you are being honest about it just being a self-insert!
step 2: he meets mane 6 instantly, with little to no build-up, most of the time it does not make sense. essentially (i wake up, and there are 6 ponies around me.)
step 3: Rainbow Dash attacks him, because the one pony who hangs out with a carnivore is the xenophobe... right
step 4: all is forgiven instantly.
(optional) step 4.5: punch Blueblood on the way to see the princesses.
step 5: Celestia reads his mind, so she now knows everything there is to know about him, and he has no problem with it whatsoever. you know, instead of refusing or being upset about someone wanting to invade your most sacred sanctuary.
step 6: MC gets in several meaningless competitions with the mane 6. the only reason for these is to show how much better the MC is than everyone in every way, always starts with a race with Dash.
step 7: Fluttershy hates you for defending yourself/others.
step 8: fall in love with a pony.
really, these stories are so mind-numbingly stupid that i can practically feel my brain ooze out my nose as i try to find something interesting. then there is you. you have done something i was starting to think was impossible for the idiots that write on this site. you showed restraint. you truly stuck with the character, and did not rush the story to get straight to the action. you actually write it as though your character was in these situations, instead of making it some stupid self-insert power-fantasy while simultaneously lying to everyone reading the story for the character, not some jack-ass fanboy with his powers.
hell, i was actually about to quit reading when i got to the part where he agreed to let Sun-Butt read his mind, but you had interested me, so i decided give it a chance, and was very pleased with the results. if anything, i am convinced that you purposefully followed all of the steps above (or at least mentioned them) so you can verbally bitch-slap all the idiots that do that, by showing how they would really go.
the way you dealt with the steps
1: you have a reason hidden in your story, and a damn good one that keeps the readers guessing.
1.5: fuck that shit. still emotionless.
2: he was brought by Discord to protect the mane 6, i mean, "to learn the magic of friendship." (Discord, you clever bastard) and even then, it still takes Luna's intervention for him to finally meet one of them, with it being several chapters in.
3: instead hospitalizing Rainbow just to showoff how strong he is despite knowing how much trouble he would get into for doing so (i am not joking, these guys are REALLY bad writers), he does not retaliate when she miserably fails to harm him.
4: emotions are kind of needed to hold a grudge, and keeping a grudge when something far more important is going on is really stupid, but that does not mean the are off the hook. your character still makes a point to remind them of their mistakes in an attempt to keep them from doing it again (poison joke).
5: Celestia did not get anything but nightmares from reading his mind. the shit writers seem to think that mind-reading is an instant info-dump of everything in the targets head, and that the massive intake of information in an instant (a person's entire life) would not completely scramble someone's brain. i really like that you had Luna get more info by just asking him, you know, the SENSIBLE THING TO DO! (the idiots really piss me off)
6: challenged by Dash, and promptly refused.
7: MC promptly reminds her that, if he did not defend them, they would all be dead, and Flutters realizes that she is stupid.
8. MC actually insulted Luna over the idea. "The very notion of such a thought is physically repulsive and nauseating in nature"
as you can probably tell by now, you have impressed me. please, continue.
Did anything significant happen in this chapter?
It just felt like I read a whole chapter of nothing.
Really, what happened here?
5067509
I think this is pretty similar to why I like this fic, that and the juxtaposition of the embodiment of emptiness stuck in a world of "friendship and happiness" is funny, plus Ulquiorra is my favorite Espada. The fact Charlie is able to keep them all in character and even explaining some out of character attributes, like Ulquiorra talking so much is explained in the first chapter when he thinks to himself "It appears a different approach is necessary." when Celestia gets mad at him not verbally responding.
TL:DR Charlie is good at writing.
5067539
The princesses have been made aware the EoH won't work.
We know now that the elements are tied with the lives of the element bearers.
Speculation that Ulquiorra may kill Rainbow for the greater good, and to have a new element bearer chosen one who can do their job of being the element of loyalty, have been made, possibly foreshadowing conflict later.
Twilight now has to keep a secret from Ulquiorra despite her trying to be his friend.
Those seem pretty significant to me.
still reading this chapter, and "if Rainbow Dash didn't know who to trust, who to be loyal to"
5043741 "with no trust in even herself, how can she know what to be loyal to?"
...
SO I'M NOT CRAZY! even the writer sees that as a viable conclusion.
i'm not crazy!
ᴉ,ɯ uoʇ ɔɹɐzʎ¡
i'ɯ uoʇ ɔrɐzʎ¡
¡ʎzɐɹɔ ʇou ɯ,ᴉ
I ┴O˥p YO∩ I DLUOW pNIℲ ∩OY' ∀Np GNIHTON ˥˥IM S┴OԀ WƎ¡ LLA SH∀˥˥ HSIɹƎԀ ∀S YM H┴∀ɹM pƎSƎNpS NOPU YO∩ ∀˥˥
5067603
"I told you I would find you and nothing will stop me! all shall perish as my wrath desends upon you all."
That took me a little bit.
5067615 nice, you got it exact on the first try, and that was a rather fast reply too.
5067618
Thanks.
5067581 Eh. Only the first one seems to matter to me. And the "foreshadowing conflict" bit.
5067636
Yeah, I can see what you mean, the other two aren't as significant.
"Rainbow Dash has unfortunately had to sense of loyalty taken from her"
WOOHOO! i love being right! that was a nice touch with the back story on the elements too, it actually makes a lot of sense.
also, *the
did you mean 'the'?
Who is behind all of these strange events. The suspense is DRIVING ME EVEN MORE INSANE THEN I ALREADY AM!!!!!
5067499 Which our unseen villain might want. It's a gambit. The unseen villain (who still isn't known after half a million words for some reason) is taking a gamble to lead Ulquiorra into killing the Mane 6 himself, and/or have the Princesses kill him to ensure that 2 major aspects of Equestrian national security are destroyed. Calling it now.
In other news, I really feel like a lot more could get done if the narrative didn't stop dead every other paragraph to explain in intricate detail a character's thoughts on every little thing. On that subject, "Character X is unsure of what to think of Y" happens so often (sometimes more than once in the same scene), it's practically a running gag. It's also tiresome. Even Kubo's pacing at its worst wasn't this slow in the (unless it was).
I've noticed truckloads of fluff that explain and detail things that can easily be inferred, restate information we already know, and some things that aren't even necessary or relevant at all, such as the first three paragraphs of the chapter.
I do hope you can get the pacing issues under control, as I've followed this story long enough to want to know how it ends, but hot diggity, this will take years. More than half a million words in and there's still no indication of who or what the villain is. The game of cat and mouse can only go on or so long before it's boring. Just my 2 cents about the story.
5067725 that... even with all the possible plots and reasons i have mentioned, why did i not think of that?
Funny that Spike had to be the one to point out the obivious that Ulquiorra might not be the one to trust with information that one of their friends was too broken to be of use. I'm kinda curious as to what his reaction WOULD be now...
The edits for this chapter are below:
*to approach from her from the - to approach her from the
*saying that they - saying something that they
*His not dealing in emotions could prove beneficial here, - Not sure but I think this was supposed to be: His way in not dealing with emotions could prove beneficial here, (Though you might be able to word it better.)
*would be more appreciated," - would be much appreciated,"
*WHAT!?" - "WHAT!?"
*unfortunately had to sense of loyalty - unfortunately had her sense of loyalty
*as she remained affected in the - as she remains affected in the
5067746 oh no you don't! i have gone through this site over and over again just looking for an author that understands the word patience, to the point that i know most of the shit on this site so well i am able to give a detailed formula that would allow you to copy over 80% of the stories on this site.
simplified version here>>5067509
this is one of the few stories that did not rush to the climax in the second chapter (exaggeration, but you get my point) do not rush him. if you really want a faster story, i could name dozens. photographic memory, i literally cannot get these shit stories out of my head, no matter how much i want to. i could definitely point you there.
5067788 Pacing is a tricky thing to really master. I fully understand not wanting to rush, and rushed stories don't turn out well. However, the same applies to the other end of the spectrum. A story that moves too slowly becomes boring. To reiterate, this story is swamped with fluff, with the narrative coming to a dead stop seemingly every other paragraph.
5067801 maybe you're right, but i really do not care too much, as it is so refreshing to be on the other side of the spectrum. i really do not want it getting ruined because he thinks he needs to speed up the story. as for too much fluff, i guess i really do not see it as too bad, but then again i have read Edgar Allan Poe's stuff. wanna talk about too much fluff, that guy took around 2 pages describing the window-sill, and then ANOTHER page describing a POT on the window-sill, when i just want to read about the god-damn talking Raven that flew into the room!
YOU WOULD THAT IT WOULD BE THE PRIORITY! A GOD-DAMN RAVEN FLEW IN AND IS TALKING TO ME, NOW SEEMS LIKE THE PERFECT TIME TO STARE AT MY FUCKING WINDOW-SILL! OH LOOK, A POT!
i agree that pacing is difficult to figure out. i like to compare it to cooking, the details being appetizers, something to get you excited about the main course. Poe stuffs you so full of the "appetizers" you run away before ever even seeing the main dish... i really need to stop commenting while tired and/or hungry, i start rambling about the most nonsensical things. i could go into a 5 hour rant as to why i hate most of the "classic" writers, specifically Shakespear, and not even be halfway done. (i REALLY hate Shakespear. his writing is shit! i do not understand why he is so renowned.)
i guess what i am saying is, that i would rather have a large tasty dish, even if i cannot finish it, than a minuscule dish that tastes like shit. i have gone quite some time starved of good stories, and i really do not want to see my delicious steak get shit on. eww, why did i type that! now i am hungry, tired AND disgusted!
They're actually understanding something about Ulquiorra!
I guess you could say his point of view has been...
*Puts on sunglasses*
Bleached
I just had to, couldn't help it
5067128
Let the fun begin then.
5067142
These are dark times indeed.
5067193
Spike's got a good head on his shoulders. He just doesn't get the chance to show it very often. Like in Lesson Zero how only he had enough sense to write Celestia about Twilight's problem.
5067471
Because Preparations A - G were complete failures?
That's part of the reason Twilight doesn't want to believe what Spike's saying.
5067499
That's quite true. But just how Ulquiorra interprets things will have to be wait to be seen.
5067503
Applejack you say? So we move from broken rainbow to mashed apple?
5067509
That's actually sort of the case here. I like to do different takes and interpretations of the norms, and do inversions.
5067539
Well let's see. So far we've got Luna licking Celestia across the face to wake her up, Ulquiorra having a cram session in the library because he intends on verbally jousting the doctors, a touch of Marx Brothers humor with the two cups remark, more stress being heaped on top of Twilight as she's tasked with keeping more secrets, a backstory to the Elements of Harmony to explain just why the girls have to be tasked with protecting Equestria, rather than someone more competent being assigned the duty, Spike being the only one realize Ulquiorra's true nature and fear the worst, and Twilight being put at odds with the others, as they have doubts about everything they've done up to that point in time.
5067725
So Discord might've wound up unwittingly playing right into their hands. By thinking he pulled a fast one in saving the world, he's delivered what will end the world.
FUCKING Genius!
5067746
To be honest you and all the others are partly responsible for how HiE is shaped. I didn't expect this story to go anywhere, just like my other stories. And then suddenly a windfall of support and reviews about how I'm true to character and have created an interesting premise by screwing with the status quo of everything. Then suddenly I realized what I had on my hands, and the need to make it great, because greatness was deserved. Readers wanted longer chapters because they got spoiled by the first entry being 11K+ in length, and more than simple expositional talking. Unfortunately the only way to actually do that, other than advancing the plot too quickly to take up more length, is to do introspection by the characters.
5067801
Pacing is very tricky indeed. And next week is going to be a sweeping kick, so get your breath caught before then.
5067834
Sometimes I feel the same way. There's nothing wrong with simple, care-free stories, as everyone needs them. But sometimes you want a story with lots of details, complex characters, and storylines that drive you forward to read more.
5067992
Yes they are. Let the fun begin.
5068430 I wasn't saying to move the plot along too quickly. Just simply faster than it currently is, which even a snail could beat in a race. Longer chapters are good and well, but when most of it is fluff and no substance, it becomes boring and uninteresting. "Character X wasn't sure what to think of/say to Y" happens so often it's predictable, for example.
So, you can have long chapters but still have a lot of substance. I mean, we're more than half a million words into the story, and we still don't know who or what the villain is, or why they are hiding like a coward.
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so many conflicting feels...
You know, I just thought of something. If you do count Celestia and Luna stronger than Ulquiorra, at least in base form, and assume Discord is to.
Ulquiorra is the 4th strongest being in Equestria at least in base form.
Edit:
Might as well update on who knows about Ulquiorra's powers and who has seen them, because why not.
Gran Ray Cero is known by Celestia and Luna, but has not been seen
Cero Oscurus, and Cero has been seen by everyone.
Bala has been seen by the main six.
Descorra is known by Celestia but did not get to be used.
Solita Vista is known by Celestia, Luna, and Rainbow and seen by all three.
High speed Regeneration was seen by Celestia if you don't count Solita Vista.
Resurrection has been seen by everyone minus Luna, but she knows because she felt it.
Segunda Etapa is known by no one.
Garganta Broadcast or that thing he used to show Orihime the others getting attacked. is also known by no one.
Pesquisa is known by everyone, RD is the only one to feel it like Ulquiorra has because of Solita Vista.
Sonido is known by everyone.
5071218
Brilliant!
5068430 i have nothing wrong with the occasional silly story, and i have found several that kept me laughing for good while ("cuddle bandit" and "no joking matter" are some good examples), but i take issue with the morons that are clearly attempting to make a serious story, usually one that starts with a lot of promise and an interesting plot, only for the whole thing to get ruined because they have no patience. they end-up rushing the story in ways that conflict with the character they are supposed to be portraying. i can't help but feel lied to every time it happens. i came for the character, and if i wanted to read about some show-off jackass that just so happens to have his powers, i would read more LOHAVs.
on an off note, how do you feel about LOHAV. i actually like it, but i may be bias. like i said before, the flaws seem less significant when i finally get to the other side of the spectrum, not just with the shit-crossovers either.
i have 2 main reasons i like the LOHAV
1: they are honest. we know not to expect him to act exactly like the character who's powers he gained. (with the occasional surprise. one was about someone who became Jack of Blades from Fable, his dark mask essentially consumed him and he truly became the character, and the writer does it well in my opinion)
2: we finally break away from the "all humans are forgiving bitches" shit that had been plaguing this site for as long as i have been here! "what was that Celestia? it was all a misunderstanding? well i guess it no longer matters that i was stuck living in a dark forest for months, filled with mythological monsters, have suffered crippling physical and psychological wounds that may never heal, all because you are a xenophobic bitch that tried to kill me on sight for no reason whatsoever, but that is all behind us now that you realize i am a living thinking being and not a mindless monster." really, how much a doormat ARE these writers!?
LOHAV fills a very specific void. before they showed up, there were almost no fics where the human opposed the ponies in any way.
digressing even more, can someone please explain why so many people hate "Diaries of a Madman"? i absolutely love it. not only does it have a really interesting story, but it does essentially the same thing you were doing with this story.
MC started as a complete doormat, almost exactly like i just described. he just instantly forgave any wrong committed against him, so they kept happening. as you read, you can see his mind withering, until he finally snapped and stopped taking shit from everyone (i imagine being; poisoned, stabbed, nearly getting eaten by a giant moth thing Luna sent after him, being lied to countless times, and rape all do wonders for one's mental health). it is no longer just another HiE with a bitch for a main character. it is a fight for survival while he tries to figure out what is going on. (as opposed to the idiots who go "huh, i am in a new world. i am not going to question it in the slightest.")
as you can probably tell, i HATE what has become the norm for this site, and i love to see when people break the mold, actually doing something intelligent.
...
damn, i started rambling again.
5072086
Well I can't really reply, because I don't know what LOHAV, or MC, stands for.
But if that's what Diary of a Madman is all about, thanks for letting me know. Now I have good reason not to read it. And even better reason to make this story surpass it in length if possible.
5072867
Main
Character
League
Of
Humans
Acting
Villainous
i found it less tedious than simply typing the name repetitively.
also, sorry about that long rant. i tend to really get off topic while tired, and i had not slept in two days.
5072867 i have a little recommendation for you, because you said
"I like to do different takes and interpretations of the norms, and do inversions."
i think you may like the story "Not the Hero". it is a Gary Stu with an interesting twist, and from Discord's perspective.
5072867 Actually, Diaries of a Madman isn't all about that. Those are Navarones (the main character) lowest points. It is in fact, a very long, convoluted plan of Discord's... Actually, just give it a try. It does have some NC-18 bits, but they come with a tag allowing you to skip them. It's... Honestly, this story reminds me of Diaries of a Madman. Pretty similar writing style, well-suited to a long story, action split with slice of life-ish stuff, the works. Seriously, please, just give it a try. After all, you don't know if you like something until you try it, within reason. That, and summing up 122 chapters in a comment is really, really hard.
5071218
Just had another thought.
Celestia
Luna
Discord
Ulquiorra
Twilight
Rainbow
Applejack
Pinkie Pie
Rarity
Fluttershy.
Thats TEN, currently working out if each of them could represent a different Espada, taking me a while.
5086204
That's assuming Discord is weaker than Luna and Celestia, when he was the only one capable of bringing Ulquiorra to their world in the first place.
And don't forget about Spike and how he stood up to Rainbow Dash.
5086525
I just made the list, I didn't actually put them in any specific order.
oh you silly ponies, why do you keep hiding things that Ulquiorra needs to know about? This can only end wonderfully.
Wonderful chapter! (just got my internet back on and I had to read this first) I love the pacing of this still! I can't wait for more
5087616
The sad part is that Ulquiorra was probably hoping for hollowfication as well. At least then he'd have some idea of what he was dealing with.
5087532 Alondro ends up in heaven!
But (SHYAMALAN-STYLE TWIST!!) heaven is run by Justin Bieber who forces him to watch 10,000 awful EqG sequals FOREVER!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
5088927
Maybe, if we are going with this as the cause, the hollowfication is messing with her mind and making her think this up?
5089102
Botoglove visits heaven to end Alondro's suffering once more. He devours Alondro's soul so he wont stay in 'Heaven' anymore but vanish into nothingness as he experiences nothing for all eternity, the same nothing as pre birth mind you.
5086525
Lol, he's not on the list 'cause dragon racism. Though if you think about it, if spike could control his greed form and mix it with his desire to protect. You would one badass of a dragon.
No, thats a stupid example. A better example is ponies not even trying to understand dragons.
Now that I think about it, have ponies even tried to understand dragons or are they blinded by rumours and stereotypes that they want to have nothing to do with them. Thoughout the series, dragons are shown as brutish jerks (sans spike, but is because he is a baby and therefore deemed harmless?) that hoard and shove, but is this because the series is set from the pony point of view and they have a fear of dragons? I honestly do not know, but I doubt everydragon is a jerk, some might but an entire race being asshats? Even we humans aren't that jerky, and aside from never seeing kind dragons (HASBRO IS A BUNCH OF DRAKNOPHOBIC BASSHOLES THAT LOVE INSPIRING THEIR HATE IN YOUNGER GENERATIONS) what about female dragons? I servilely doubt that all dragons are male and they reproduce asexually, so why? Why does hasbro show us a negative side to a majestical creature like the dragon? Sure everything has a dark side to it but there must be a yang to counter the yin. Also, if hasbro. Purposely makes every. single. dragon evil then do they refrain from showing female dragons because they do not want to upset viewers and subconsciously sow the thought that females are mean, heartless creatures or maybe only the males are aggressive and they don't show females incase people find it sexist? Speaking of females potentioanlly being as cruel as their genderswapeed counterparts, does the 'abonded egg' vibe we get throughout the series point to females being crule... or was it stolen to prevent more 'horrible, ugly, scary abominations' being born into the world? In fact, did Celestia steal it, what about other dragon eggs? Were they truly abandoned or stolen to use as signs of wealth? And most of all, why does hasbro like being speciest to dragons?
Lets see, in the series, Spike has been left out of 99.9% of all hugs according to dragon rights activists
5090807
I don't think that's the case. We've got Nightmare Moon and Chrysalis in the series. Try and tell me they weren't portrayed as evil.
5090810
Hence you can see why Spike's getting a lot of development in the story on all fronts.