Chapter Sixty
Chapter Sixty
Five minutes was hardly an outstanding amount of time. Nothing more than a mere three hundred seconds in duration. Yet in those three hundred seconds, a great many things could easily transpire, and potentially shape future events.
It was an unassuming unit of time, the speed of passage of which dependent on the individual that was asked. To one who was distracted in a conversation, and unaware of how long it could actually take to construct a sentence, even when on the fly, the passing of five minutes could be perceived as being little more than thirty seconds. And in other cases, when subjected to less than desirable circumstances, that same five minute passage could be perceived as excruciatingly slow, and be grossly overestimated as being an hour.
In Ulquiorra's case, however, the perception of the passage was irrelevant. Of more interest was how many pages he had managed to cover in the five minutes since the departure of the diarchy for parts unknown to him. And while that number of pages covered wasn't overly impressive -by his standards anyway- he had been presented with information that could either potentially confirm, or debunk, several different diagnoses should they come up. That was far more useful than any amount of pages that could realistically be covered.
Although he could've gotten further along in his research if he didn't feel the need to periodically stop and jot down information for later reference. Or to reach out with his pesquisa, and double check to make sure that Rainbow Dash hadn't made a second attempt at escape.
Locating the cyan pegasus had been a simple matter, as her reiatsu was impossible to not notice. Nearby in the same vicinity were two other reiatsu pattens. And based on the similar textures, and stationary positioning, it was safe to assume that those two were members of Princess Luna's night guard; bat ponies if he remembered the impromptu term correctly. Although he had no idea what they truly were in nature.
It was safe to say that the lesson had been learned from yesterday. And although the numbers were few, Rainbow Dash was at least under guard, and would no longer be able to escape undetected. With that thought in mind, he turned his attention back to the book, and refocusing his attention on the next page, rather than his pesquisa.
But then he stopped. Just before cutting out his pesquisa, he detected something. Something that didn't feel right. The exact timing of the events, occurring in the breadth of a heartbeat just before he decided to stop focusing on what was beyond him, had to be a million to one shot of occurring, but they had occurred nonetheless. Gripped by curiosity, he once again activated his pesquisa to try and locate the anomaly that had caught his attention.
Where was it? He wouldn't describe his search as desperate, or even frantic. But his curiosity had been piqued by what had just barely registered with his senses, before vanishing by his ill-timed decision to stop focusing on the whole of his surroundings. Now he had to find it again. He had to confirm its existence, presence, and nature, before he could decide whether or not to let it go.
Scanning... scanning... where was it? What was it? What was the disturbance in detectable reiatsu that had acted like a ping on a radar map, only to vanish before any vital information could be determined?
Rainbow Dash's assigned quarters. That was the location of the reiatsu disturbance, he was certain of that fact now.
But it was strange. These were not the normal type of disturbances that he'd come to be familiar with in this world. These fluctuations were coming from Rainbow Dash's reiatsu. but these fluctuations were too unstable, and shaky, compared to what he had felt previously. They weren't the fluctuations that went with her usual, or even her current, emotional instability. There were no peaks, just continual valleys to note. They were fluctuations far more characteristic of...
All thoughts of what was going on, were immediately halted. The book he'd been reading was disregarded and allowed to fall to the ground in a haphazard manner, as he left the library in a burst of sonido.
For those that made up the night guard and served Princess Luna, the hour was growing late. It was nearly dawn, and it would soon be time for the customary changing of the guard that accompanied the setting of the moon, and the raising of the sun.
And for the two lunar guards that silently stood on either side of the door to the quarters of the guest they were currently tasked with guarding, that change couldn't come soon enough, as exhaustion was working its magic over them, with all the skill and precision of a seasoned wizard. Their service brethren tasked with performing hoof patrols around the castle as least had the distraction of continual physical movement, and changing scenery to help them stay alert. There was always the possibility of finding an intruder, or one of the late night staff trying to strike up a conversation with them, rare as that was.
But for them, there was no such distraction to keep them alert. There was nothing but monotony and standing around. There was no outside aid to help keep them alert of their surroundings, but rather it was something they had to do themselves.
They fully understood the importance of their assigned task. Behind the locked door was one of the ponies who held one of the Elements of Harmony. And it was their assigned duty to make sure no unauthorized entry occurred. They were also instructed to tend to the needs of the Element bearer should she need anything. Although just what that anything was, Princess Luna had been less than precise about.
Whether or not that influenced her judgement in assigning two mares as guards, they didn't really know. But it really wasn't their place to question such, even if their Princess had great tolerance for curiosity.
"I can't stand up anymore. I need to sit down," the lunar guard on the right of the door struggled to mumble through a yawn.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you," the lunar guard on the left of the door replied. Although truth be told, sitting down for even just a minute sounded very tempting right now.
"You worry too much," the other commented, before easing herself down onto her haunches. "What's the worst that could happen from resting our hooves for five minutes if we don't leave our post?" she asked.
The answer to that question came not in the form of a verbal response from her partner. But rather in the form of what sounded like an explosion going off right between them, causing them both to jump in surprise.
Momentary disorientation and confusion evaporated away, giving rise to concern, when they saw that the door they'd been tasked with guarding had been breached. It had been violently forced open from the outside, breaking the lock apart in the process, and swung against the wall so hard, that the screws holding the hinges in place had forcefully been ripped out of the wood from the impact. And it had all happened in the blink of an eye, and they never even got the chance to see anything that happened.
The next thing they became aware of was a deep, heavy breathing coming from inside the room. Deep, ragged gasps for air that sounded like somepony was being strangled. Immediately they leaped in, prepared to defend the Element bearer who had been left in their care. But as soon as they were inside the room, they weren't prepared for what they saw.
The cyan pegasus was laying on the ground, a section of cloth wrapped and tied around her midsection tight enough to keep her wings from deploying, no matter how hard she might've struggled to get them loose. One section of cloth was hanging loosely around her neck as she struggled and fought to suck down deep breaths of air, while another section of the same cloth hung from the ceiling. Standing next to the downed pegasus was the white biped they had seen Princess Luna conversing with on a number of occasions, in the process of slipping his sword back into its sheath at his side.
It took them all of three seconds to put two and two together, and figure out what happened. Their charge had attempted to commit suicide through hanging herself with the available bedding. And in an effort to prevent her body's primal desire for survival from interrupting her attempts at ending it all, she had tied her wings down so she couldn't flap and hover off the ground when the desire for air became too strong to consciously resist.
But the most disturbing aspect of it all, at least to them, was how this had happened while they were present! They hadn't heard any commotion coming from the other side of the heavy oak door that would indicate distress. They hadn't even heard something that might suggest she'd been conscious at the time. As far as they knew, nothing out of the ordinary had been going on.
Oh how, how wrong they'd been about that assumption.
Making matters all the worse was how they, even with their close proximity, and logically the ones who should've been able to respond first, hadn't been able to do such. They'd more of less just been standing around idly while twiddling their hooves, ignorant of the world around them. The only reason the Element bearer was still alive, was because the stranger had come out of nowhere, breaking down the bucking door in the process, and cut her down before she could complete the gruesome deed. How had he even known what was going on? Where had he even come from when he decided to be the hero, and come to the rescue of the damsel in distress?
"Leave."
Their attention was drawn away from their thoughts, and back to the here and now; more specifically, the biped that was glancing back at them over his shoulder. It had been his voice that they'd heard, issuing the one word command, and leaving them confused in the process.
"Sir?"
"You're incompetent. Leave," he spoke again in a flat, even tone utterly devoid of any trace of emotion. It was a tone usually expected from their stallion counterparts when they spoke. And it was a tone that managed to send chills down the both of their spines.
Officially, being members of the night guard, Princess Luna was the only one they answered to and took orders from. Princess Celestia rarely ever saw fit to exercise her authority over them, and instead left them to her sister's devices and discretion. They were under absolutely no obligation to listen to him, regardless of what he might say. He had no authority over them. By all rights they could order him to leave.
Those facts of the matter, however, did nothing to change the basic fact that he was utterly intimidating to face. His eyes and tone were just the tip of the iceberg, as he seemed to give off an air of utter coldness and mercilessness. And then there were the stories of his exploits. The tale regarding the dragon was quite widespread and confirmed as fact, although there were variations in the details of just what the fight had involved; at least one version had him effortlessly lifting the dragon right off the ground through pure brute strength.
And then there were the unconfirmed reports that were more or less gossip, but were utterly hard to just ignore. They had heard whispered rumors from their solar guard compatriots that the stranger had actually manages to intimidate Princess Celestia of all ponies, and done so just by looking at her.
However it was just talk. None of it did anything to change the fact that they served Princess Luna. They were loyal to her, and regardless of what she may order, they readily served her.
But they feared him.
It was only begrudgingly that they complied with his orders, and chose to leave the area.
They knew that if it came down to being a choice between Princess Luna and the white stranger, at least Princess Luna was more willing to show them mercy for their shortcomings. If they begged, she was far more likely to forgive them for their failings compared to him.
With the departure of the two bat-ponies, Ulquiorra turned his attention back to Rainbow Dash as she finally calmed down, having recovered enough to slow her breathing, and sit herself up on her haunches as she loosened the binding around her neck. Without the tension provided by her weight on the haphazardly tied knot, there was no more risk of strangulation.
He observed the surroundings and took in the details of the room, noting the positioning of everything, what was out of place, and determining what had most likely been the course of action taken, leading up to right now. The bound wings, lack of any close physical objects, incompetence of the assigned guards, and absence of fingers, would all have lead up to unavoidable death had he not been present. Or more specifically, if he hadn't been paying attention to his surroundings through his pesquisa. Had one of the other Espada been brought to this world instead of him, they would likely be standing over a corpse at this point in time, as they were too ignorant of their surroundings.
All the more reason to believe that Discord had selected him specifically.
"Go away..."
It was a hoarse croaking from the cyan pegasus that brought his attention back to her where she sat, now rubbing at her throat. Whereas the sleeper hold he had used just days ago had done little to affect her voice -due primarily to being a combination blood and air choke hold, and applied with expert precision- her own crud attempts at ending her life had quite possibly bruised her trachea.
"Go away," she repeated as she coughed, before rubbing at her throat some more. "Just go away..."
No gratitudes being offered up for him preventing her death. Considering previous experiences with these ponies, that was an unusual development. Pleasantries were usually exchanged between ponies at the drop of a hat. For her to break this pattern of behavior was an anomaly. This would require further investigation.
"Under present circumstances, that would be unadvisable," he replied. "Out of everyone I have associated with in this world, I never believed that you would be one to consider suicide. It's... surprising actually."
Rainbow Dash said nothing in response as she looked away, not wanting to make eye contact with him as she continued to rub at her throat.
"Being stubborn will be of no use in this matter," he pointed out. Although she would be finding that out for herself soon enough.
"I don't care," Rainbow Dash mumbled in response, still not even looking at him. "I don't care about anything anymore. Just go away and let me die already..."
"If you were any other pony, that wouldn't be an unreasonable possibility. But I cannot allow for such in this case, as you bear one of the Elements of Harmony, making your survival-"
"I don't care about the Elements of Harmony!" Rainbow Dash yelled, interrupting his monotone explanation as she turned to face him angrily. It hurt to talk at such a volume, but she was beyond caring at this point. "I don't care about anything anymore! Not the Elements, or Equestria, or anything! I hate the Elements of Harmony, and the Princesses, and the others, and I especially hate you! So just! Leave! Me! Alone already!"
Voicing her displeasure with him wasn't out of the ordinary. However her voicing her displeasure with the diarchy was another matter. The mystery at hand was just deepening.
"Why?" he asked in response. It was a simple enough question, and likely the only one she could actually compute in her emotionally disturbed and hostile state.
"Why should I even bother telling you?" Rainbow Dash asked, not in the mood for either games, or any other nonsense that the Espada might be up to.
"Because I am the only one present, who is even willing to listen to what you might have to say," Ulquiorra pointed out. "Whether or not you choose to take advantage of that fact, is entirely up to you."
Rainbow Dash frowned as she looked at him. She wanted to scream in his face right now until he left. She wanted to punch him right in his ugly face, and not stop until one of them was bleeding. She wanted to wipe that cold, unfeeling expression right off its perch.
But she couldn't do any of that right now. Her wings were still bound against her body by the torn remnants of the sheets from the bed. Without untying them, she had no way of getting up to eye level with him, leaving her below chin level. And she didn't want to go through the trouble of untying them, just to retie them later on when she tried again at a more opportune time. So instead, she opted for taking him up on his offer of talking.
"You really wanna know? Fine. I'm going crazy! That's why!" she stated in response, trying to steel herself to give him the full explanation. "My so-called friends raped me. They tortured me. They mutilated me. They did all of that stuff and so much more, and I knew it. I knew all of it. It was fact! And then Celestia and you came along and made me realize that I didn't know anything! Thanks to the two of you I don't know what to believe anymore! What I know isn't what I know anymore! I'm remembering things that didn't happen, I'm not remembering things that did happen, I'm hearing voices telling me to do things I don't wanna do, I tried to murder Rarity for something she didn't even do, and I can't take it anymore! I don't know what's real anymore, and nopony even cares! Nopony, nopony knows what I'm going through!"
Ulquiorra listened silently as Rainbow Dash vented her anger. He wasn't entirely certain what he had expected the given answer to be when she'd decided to talk. Perhaps something relating to how she wasn't the Element of Loyalty, but rather an individual with dreams and ambitions of her own, and not some weapon or tool that could be used when necessary and simply put away until next time.
But this certainly wasn't what he had been expecting.
"Nopony gets it," she continued, her tone and hostility dropping substantially as she spoke. Apparently the anger coursing through her system had time to effectively burn off. "They don't know what it's like when you start doubting everything. They don't get what it's like. It's... it's scary, it's terrifying..."
"It's a concept I'm familiar with," Ulquiorra replied. However it seemed that his statement was the wrong thing to say, as she immediately returned to her angered state, as if he had deliberately gone out of his way to antagonize her.
"Don't you dare say that! You don't know anything! You don't know what it's like to have your mind violated! To be forced to remember the most horrible experience you could possibly imagine! To be wondering if everything you ever knew is even real or not! How could you possibly know what I'm going through!?"
Ulquiorra remained silent through Rainbow Dash's anger induced outburst, waiting for her to stop her yelling before once again proceeding.
"Aizen's zanpakutō, Kyōka Suigetsu, possessed a unique ability. When activated, his shikai could hypnotize anyone who saw his sword's release, allowing him to affect not only all five of their senses, but also their perception of time. And once one became hypnotized, he could utilize this fact at any time, leaving them unable to tell reality from illusion. You could be conversing with your best friend one minute, never realizing that they were nothing more than an illusion. It became impossible to rely on and trust any of your five senses. Even if one were to be aware that what they were experiencing was an illusion, it still proved to be impossible to resist, just as it was impossible to break," he explained calmly, noting as Rainbow Dash's demeanor began to change at his words. Once again the anger was starting to ebb away, as she began to comprehend what he was saying. That was good, as it showed she still possessed some degree of reason. With that thought in mind, he continued his explanation.
"You once asked how Aizen kept the Hollows under control. This is how it was achieved for many of them. He demonstrated the strength of his hypnosis by making an example out of a particularly rebellious Arrancar of Vasto Lorde level. In an instant, they were subjected to the illusion of being exposed to negative four hundred and sixty degrees Fahrenheit for a period of one hundred and sixty eight hours nonstop. Despite it being nothing more than an illusion with no basis in realty, it was so convincing in nature, that they died from the trauma their body experienced as a result. As you might expect, very few were willing to continue opposing his rule after witnessing such a display of his power. It was quite effective at quelling insurrection."
Rainbow Dash sat in silence as she looked at him, her mouth hanging open and her eyes wide, too stunned and horrified by what he was saying to formulate any sort of response.
"You..." she finally managed to get out, sounding like nothing more than a squeak. "You were... you were mind fucked too?" she asked him.
Ulquiorra remained silent for a moment, before continuing. "The aspect with the greatest potential for terror, is having no way to tell one way or the other. If I was, then how would I even know for certain?" he asked her. When she had nothing else to immediately offer up, he continued. "Not being able to rely on your five senses is bad enough. For an Arrancar, however, it went deeper than that, as even our pesquisa wasn't immune to Aizen's hypnotic abilities. And these were simply the effects we did know of. The full extent of Kyōka Suigetsu's abilities is not something we were informed of. For obvious reasons."
Depending on the point of view taken, it had all been the simple truth. He hadn't said that he understood her fear, but he could certainly understand why she could be afraid and upset. He was aware of the uncertainty that could be experienced from not being able to tell if the here and now, was truly the here and now. On more than one occasion since his arrival here, he had wondered to himself if this was actually real, or if he was actually standing in some corner of Las Noches, talking to himself as pastel-colored hallucinations played out before him, while the other Espada looked on.
But every time that thought played out in his mind, he remembered Pinkie Pie. He had doubts that Aizen would've been able to imagine the pink earth pony, and conjure her up to punish him for some failing on his part. To the best of his knowledge, Kyōka Suigetsu's abilities were limited by Aizen's own imagination. And who could've possibly imagined all that he had experienced firsthand since his arrival here?
"I'm sorry..."
It was a small statement on her part. But it was one he could tell carried as much genuine sentiment as she could muster in her current state. And if ever there was a set of circumstances that could be described as irony, this was more certainly it. The fact that she was offering her condolences to him for his experience, when she was the one who had tried to commit suicide just minutes ago, could almost be considered as a form of dark humor.
At the moment, however, he couldn't think of anything that seemed appropriate to say.
"So... does this mean you'll let me do this?" Rainbow Dash asked. If he understood what she was going through, then surely that meant he could sympathize with his plight, right?
"That is something I'm not able to do," Ulquiorra replied simply, without going into a detailed elaboration of just why he couldn't let her kill herself. In her current state, he doubted that she would pay much attention.
"What!?" she croaked out. Apparently all the strain from the earlier yelling had taken its toll on her throat and voice once again. "But you, you said you understood what I was going through," she protested. As if it would be able to sway his position somehow.
"Simply because I can understand what you're experiencing, doesn't mean I can allow you to go ahead with your suicide attempt. Your importance to Equestria is far too great at the moment. And that importance extends far beyond the fact that you bear one of the Elements of Harmony," he explained.
"... Huh?" Rainbow Dash asked, confused by what exactly he meant by that.
He now had her attention. If he also had her focus, that meant he would be able to go into a greater degree of depth in his explanation, without needing to consider the possibility of her interrupting him unexpectedly. He was going to take advantage of that fact.
"At preset time, we still don't know the exact nature of what happened to you. Despite mapping out the areas of Ponyville you frequented throughout last week, we are still been unable to determined just what would explain your current condition. We can't rule out magical intervention, nor can we eliminate the possibility of some type of biological contaminant. For all we know you may only be one of many that have been afflicted. You may still be in possession of clues that will lead us not only to what happened, but how we can treat others if they've been afflicted as well," he explained.
"Whoa," Rainbow Dash breathed in response. Was he really serious about this? This was... this was seriously deep. Even she could see that. "You mean that... that others might be going through the same thing I am right now?"
"It's a possibility. One that we must give as much consideration as any other. Medical professionals are being contacted later today for evaluation purposes, in hopes of them being able to detect something that we cannot, and perhaps devise a treatment plan," Ulquiorra stated.
Rainbow Dash didn't know what to say in response. Her head was starting to swim with all of this new information that'd been dumped right into her lap.
And now, as she became aware of it, the bindings around her wings were serving as an uncomfortable reminder of what she'd attempted to do, and had nearly succeeded at. Suddenly it was enough to send a chill up her spine and against her feathers, as she struggled to undo the torn sheets, and get them as far away from herself as possible.
Ulquiorra said nothing as he watched the cyan pegasus working to untie the bindings around her wings and neck. If there was something that was appropriate to say in this situation, it was lost to him. He dealt in fact, not irrelevancies like feelings and such. If Rainbow Dash was seeking emotional comfort, she would have to look elsewhere.
This entire... odd episode of events that had occurred. It had seemingly come out of nowhere as far as he could see. Even by this world's twisted sense of logic and reason, this turn of events just didn't strike him as right. He never considered Rainbow Dash, or any of the other bearers of the Elements of Harmony, as the type that would commit suicide. As he began running over everything that could potentially explain this happening, he couldn't help but wonder if exposing her to countless hours worth of his own memories, had served to further traumatize her, and drive her to this course of action.
If that were truly the case, then it was unfortunate. He had exercised concern the first time around, by not confronting her about the inaccuracies of her story's recollection. And then Princess Celestia had come in, and completely decimated everything with her line of questioning. Perhaps that had left Rainbow Dash unstable to begin with, and his course of action had simply been the straw that broke the camel's back. It was a possibility that couldn't be ruled out.
And then his pesquisa let him know of the return of the diarchy. And with them the sweltering nature of their combined reiatsu, once again settling upon his shoulders, much like the yoke Big Macintosh so often wore.
"Princess Celestia and Princess Luna have returned. And they will need to be informed of this development," he stated simply as he slid his hands into his pockets.
"What? Seriously?" Rainbow Dash asked him in disbelief. A few minutes ago she wouldn't have cared one bit. But now it was completely different, and she found herself dreading such. The prospect of the Princesses finding out about what she'd just tried... it was actually terrifying to her right now. She'd gone from not caring about anything, to suddenly caring a great deal about a number of things. "Do you really have to? Can't you, like, not tell them about this? I swear I'll never do anything like this again. Please?" she asked. Or more accurately, begged. With her forehooves clasped and everything.
"That is something that I'm unable to do," Ulquiorra replied as he observed her. Did she truly think that such a change in demeanor, and a hastily issued promise, would be enough to sway his decision? Utterly pathetic. "The only circumstance that would allow me not to tell them of what happened here, would be if you tell them yourself."
"Say what? You mean you actually want me to go to them and tell them that I've been a bad little foal? Like my Dad made me do when I broke Mom's vase?" Rainbow Dash asked him in disbelief. Surely he couldn't be serious. The whole notion was absurd.
"What I may want has no bearing on the matter. What you do or don't do is entirely your choice. I'm merely informing you that the diarchy will be made aware of this, one way or the other," Ulquiorra explained.
With nothing left to say on the matter he left, walking out of the room, and leaving Rainbow Dash on the floor where she sat, blinking in confusion.
"That could have gone smoother," Luna commented before sighing and closing her eyes. "With but a mere ten minutes until the sunrise, I fear your time for refreshment has been wasted."
Celestia said nothing in response to Luna's lament about the time of day. She meant well, and that was enough.
"Sister. Do you believe Twilight Sparkle will be able to fulfill her assigned task, and not let news of the Element of Loyalty slip?"
That was certainly a good question. Twilight always meant well, but sometimes that well meaning nature got the best of her. Applejack might bear the Element of Honesty, but she knew that Twilight's skills at deception were lacking in some cases. And with something as big as this, even she was unsure of whether or not it would be possible; especially if she had to keep it a secret from her friends, to prevent one of them from experiencing a slip of the tongue. All she could really do right now, was hope that she could do as requested.
"I want to believe so, Luna, for all of our sakes," Celestia stated and pinched the bridge of her muzzle, trying not to allow her mind to wander from the issue regarding Twilight, to what else she had on her plate today.
"As do I, dear sister," Luna replied and nodded. The entire situation could have certainly been dealt with much better than it had, she was certain of that. But there was no going back in time and performing a do-over. "What concerns me at the moment, however, is the question presented by Spike. And I do not know what is more disturbing in nature; the subject matter itself, or the fact that it was presented by one that is still so young. Young ones should not be so preoccupied with matters of death, and questioning whether or not those they call friends will betray them," she pointed out.
It was a very fair point to make. Spike's worry about Ulquiorra taking the suspected course of action was disturbingly similar to her own suspicions about the Espada and his nature. It had taken so much for her to even just start trusting him a little. And now she was starting to face doubt that threatened to wipe out even that little bit of trust regarding his nature.
But what had Spike experienced that would fill him with such concern? What had Ulquiorra said or done that would cause him so much concern?
"Majesty!"
However her thoughts were interrupted by the sudden voice, and the unexpected presence of two of Luna's night guards quickly approaching them where they stood in the throne room.
"My guards? You were instructed to guard Rainbow Dash's quarters. Why are you not at your post?" Luna asked them, curious to find out what could've made them abandon their assignment,
"We were ordered to leave our post, Majesty," the guard on the right explained and bowed her head.
"Ordered?" Luna asked in disbelief at the words. "And whose authority presumes to trump my own?"
"The white biped, Majesty, he told us to leave," the guard on the left stated and bowed her head as well.
The guard on the right nodded. "Your forgiveness, Majesty, please do not believe that we do not respect you or your position. If ordered to, we would willingly follow you through the gates of Tartarus... But he scares the manure out of us!" she stated.
"Even if we refused," the guard on the left continued, "there would have been no way to stop him. Someone strong enough to kill a manticore in the way that he did, could never be obstructed by the likes of us. We're too weak."
Luna opened her mouth, and subsequently closed it again, several times in the wake of the explanation she was given. What had started out as anger, was slowly giving way to reason, and compassion in light of their words. She could understand their position. Ulquiorra Cifer was not one to be trifled with under ever the best of circumstances. And with tales of his exploits spreading across the land, even at a slow pace, it was understandable why they would choose to heed his words and leave their post. Loyalty was fine, but not if it were to cost them their lives for the sake of fulfilling orders.
"Rise, my little ponies, I hold no anger toward you. It takes great courage, and great wisdom, to recognize when orders must be disregarded," she told them, waiting for them to stand back up again. "But I must ask why Ulquiorra Cifer did see fit to order you to abandon your post. What was his reasoning?" she asked them.
Celestia turned towards the sound of the voice, observing as Ulquiorra entered the throne room at what could best be described as a leisurely pace. And several paces behind him was an anxious looking Rainbow Dash, whose walk looked far more appropriate for somepony trying to walk over a path of broken glass without getting cut up.
Luna frowned. The way Ulquiorra popped up was a matter of either impeccable timing and coincidence, or he was in the habit of eavesdropping until he heard what was the more appropriate setup for him to simply approach unannounced. Whatever the answer was, however, she would save it for another time.
"You are certainly one with great confidence, Ulquiorra Cifer. Pray tell, exactly what reasoning made you see fit to order by guards to abandon their post and duty?" she asked him.
"As stated, incompetence on the part of your guards," Ulquiorra replied as he came to a stop, with Rainbow Dash slowly coming up next to him and just standing there. She had called for him to wait during his departure, and trotted along to catch up to him. He had taken it as a sign of her willingness to confess her actions to the diarchy, and perhaps apply whatever spin to the explanation she was inclined to add. But her silence was beginning to speak quite loudly, and cast doubt on that assumption. Perhaps he needed to step up in this matter.
"I..."
And then again, perhaps not. It was a tiny utterance from the cyan pegasus that stood next to him. But it was an utterance nonetheless as she slowly stepped forward.
"I... I tried to kill myself," she admitted quietly, her voice barely above a whisper. Whether or not it had been loud enough for the diarchy to hear, he didn't know. "I tried to hang myself. He... he cut me down just before I... I..."
She stopped and looked up at him. Possibly looking for some indication that she'd said enough, and could now be silent. He wouldn't force her to continue any further, as she had certainly given enough information to get the point across. But at the same time he was under no obligation to stop her if she felt compared to share more details. For that fact, he chose to remain silent, and wait to see what she would do next on her own. If she had the desire to continue talking, who was he to interfere?
But it didn't prove necessary for him to interrupt. Instead it was Princess Luna who interrupted.
"Rainbow Dash, why... would you do such? What would possibly drive you to suicide?" she asked in utter disbelief, horrified at what she'd heard.
No audible answer came. Ulquiorra glanced back down at her and saw her in a state that could only be described as discomfort, consisting of small but numerous physical gestures on her part. Physical gestures that made absolutely no sense to him, and were accompanied by weak grunts and other sounds of distress.
"Rainbow Dash, please step forward," Celestia said in a soft voice, seeing that they weren't getting anywhere.
"I don't wanna get hit..."
At hearing this statement, Ulquiorra actually turned his head to look at her. Now that was an unexpected development. Even he couldn't have predicted something like that. And from what he could see from his vantage point, neither had the diarchy, as they both appeared to be quite shocked by Rainbow Dash's words.
"Rainbow Dash?" Luna asked in disbelief as she cautiously stepped forward, but stopped in her tracks when she saw the pegasus beginning to back up. The course of action made her drop to her haunches. "What... what ever gave you the idea that we would actually strike you? Have we... have I done anything to give you such an idea? Have any of us?"
"N-no," Rainbow Dash whimpered in response.
"Then please tell us, Rainbow Dash, whatever gave you the idea that we would hit you?" Celestia asked as she stepped closer, eager to get to the bottom of this matter.
"I... I..." Rainbow Dash stuttered and sniffed, struggling to get the words out at this point. "I just couldn't take it anymore! I just couldn't!" she finally blurted out. Almost angrily. "I couldn't take not knowing what's real anymore! I don't know what to believe! I don't know what not to believe! And you two aren't helping! You don't know what it's like to be mind fucked and not even be sure who you are!"
What followed the vocal outburst was decidedly less coherent in nature, to the point even Ulquiorra was having trouble making out what the cyan pegasus was saying through the tears and bawling, as she was swept up into an embrace by Princess Celestia and allowed to cry against her.
Luna looked on, uncertain exactly how to respond to what was unfolding in front of her. Glancing over to where the guards stood, she could see that they were just as confused as her. Saying nothing, she extended a wing and waved them off, dismissing them without further discussion on the matter. Thankfully they took their leave after that point, leaving the four of them behind.
"It's alright, Rainbow Dash, it's alright," Celestia said as she tried to calm the crying pegasus down. This matter was only getting worse, not any better. The way things were looking, if they'd brought Ulquiorra with them to Ponyville, they might've returned to news that Rainbow Dash was dead. That in itself was terrifying enough, never mind what else they were currently facing.
"I still do not understand. Whatever gave her the idea that we would actually beat her?" Luna asked curiously while her sister continued to hug the cyan pegasus in her forelegs, making an effort to calm her down, but without much success.
"Even I find myself wondering that," Ulquiorra commented. That in itself was hard enough to believe. He could believe the diarchy would strike him for angering them on one matter or another. Truthfully he had even come to expect it at a few points, considering how they would flare their reiatsu when angry, and subject him to pain. But then again he was himself, and Rainbow Dash was... not. He could only assume that it had to do with the hallucinations she'd been experiencing; possibly filling her head with unfounded fears of the diarchy, and subjecting her to bouts of paranoia.
But then he was left with a very specific question. And it was one he truly didn't believe he would get an answer to anytime soon; why exactly did Rainbow Dash fear the other ponies around her, but she didn't fear him?
Was it because she had been made aware of his predatory nature from the beginning, and thus there was no element of surprise that had to be addressed? He had made no efforts to hide who and what he was from these ponies, other than allowing Twilight Sparkle to do the introductions with her "visiting dignitary" cover story. But he had been very forthcoming once the story had fallen apart, and all the details were shared.
Perhaps it was the open and honest nature of the interactions between them, that kept her from feeling the need to fear him in this matter? Stranger things had indeed happened, so who was he to doubt it all?
"Everything will be alright, Rainbow Dash, I promise you that," Celestia said as she stroked the back of the young pegasus. She was unspeakably thankful for the fact that she was indeed calming down, even if it was just a little. "Now please, please tell me, whatever made you believe that any of us would ever strike you," she pleaded.
"I... I-I don't wanna say," Rainbow Dash muttered in response.
"I know. But I'm afraid that you must say," Celestia informed her, gently but also firmly. "It's a matter of great importance that you do. And I really don't want to have to order you to tell me..."
Rainbow Dash whimpered, not wanting to talk about this issue. But what exactly could she do to the contrary, when Celestia had her in a grip she couldn't escape from? Even if she could, there were two others who could easily catch her in no time. She was between a rock and a hard place right now, and had no other choice in the matter as far as she could see, other than to come clean.
"Because... because I was being greedy. I didn't think you cared about me, only the Element of Loyalty. A-a-and I'm not the Element of Loyalty, I-I'm just a dumb, greedy pegasus, a-and I'm not sorry about it! I'm me, not my Element! And I'm tired of ponies thinking otherwise!"
Ulquiorra remained silent, observing Rainbow Dash's statement. It bore a striking similarity to the rooftop confession she'd made during their first night in Canterlot, right after the defeat of the dragon. The fluctuations in the intensity of her reiatsu were strikingly similar, leaving him to suspect that an emotional outpouring was to follow.
And once again, much to his surprise, he was experiencing that same uncomfortable feeling, that he had experienced in the library when Princess Luna had confessed to her past deeds. What exactly was the source of this sensation of discomfort? And why exactly was he experiencing it?
His attention was brought to Princess Luna leaving the throne room without explanation.
Failing to see any reason that would warrant him remaining behind, he ultimately decided to follow after her. He didn't need to be present for Rainbow Dash's emotional instability, or Princess Celestia's efforts at stabilizing that emotional state. There was very little he could actually do at the moment, seeing as someone competent was present, both for keeping track of the cyan pegasus, and preventing anymore attempts on her life.
"So let me see if I understand this correctly," Celestia said, oblivious to the fact that the other two were now gone from the room. "You actually believed that we would hit you, because you actually believe that you deserve to be treated like a pony, and not your Element of Harmony?" she asked.
Rainbow Dash didn't even look at her. Couldn't even look at her. She just kept her head hung low, trying desperately not to make eye contact with her.
"If that's truly the case, and you believed you would be punished for wanting to be recognized as yourself, then it would seem that I've been a terrible ruler, and an even worse friend," Celestia stated, her tone unable to hide the disappointment she'd felt with herself. Much as she hated to admit it, the cyan pegasus did have a point. Their primary concern the past few days had been trying to get Rainbow Dash right again, due to the bond she had with the Element of Loyalty. Much as she was loathe to admit to the fact, they hadn't really stopped and considered her on the individual level. "I'm truly sorry for that, Rainbow Dash, you deserve better consideration than that."
This was going to require a different approach to the situation.
Luna panted, feeling winded from her exertion. With her sister currently indisposed, and the day waiting for nopony, she had taken it upon herself to do as her sister had done for so many years, and adjust the positioning of the celestial bodies all by herself.
It wasn't until she'd actually gotten involved, however, that she realized just how difficult the process was, when one was unaccustomed to just how much effort was actually involved. It wasn't simply a matter of doubling the workload, but rather a matter of the sun being so much fatter than her own moon was.
There was some humor to that fact. She was sure of it, but couldn't immediately identify what it was. Oh well.
Her attention was soon drawn to Ulquiorra as he stood behind her at the doorway, watching with as much intent as his stone face could muster.
"Yes?" she asked.
"Princess Celestia won't take issue with your trespass into her territory of authority?" Ulquiorra asked as he calmly stepped closer.
"I would be surprised if she did. At the moment she has her hooves full with another important matter," Luna replied, shaking her head in response to the question. "And considering everything, I fear it is far more important. To think that Rainbow Dash was so close to... to... I would rather not think of what would have happened, had you not been present," she stated.
"Instituting a suicide watch over her would be a wise decision. She may try again, and I can't guarantee I'll be there to pick up the slack next time," Ulquiorra pointed out. Once he was certain the cyan pegasus had been secured, most likely by whatever medical experts were called in, he intended to go back to Ponyville, and continue his assigned duties there. Simply because Rainbow Dash was indisposed, didn't mean the others weren't equally at risk.
Luna frowned, but ultimately said nothing. Now wasn't the time to be splitting hairs. There would be plenty of time later on, to discuss the Espada's views of their guards and their competency.
"Do you truly believe that Rainbow Dash will make another attempt at taking her own life?" she asked him.
"What I may believe holds little bearing on the matter. But it would be foolish to assume she wouldn't make another attempt, given her current level of emotional instability," Ulquiorra stated.
Silence. For a -comparatively- long time, the only sound between them was the ruffling of Luna's wing, as she moved to shield her eyes from the glaring of the sun.
"There is... a spell. A very... powerful spell, that would prevent Rainbow Dash from attempting suicide once again if it were to be cast," Luna finally stated. Much to her surprise, the Espada had said nothing in response. He hadn't asked her why the spell hadn't been used. Instead he was just standing there and watching her, as if he was waiting for her to continue on her own, without any prompting from him. "It is... something best reserved for truly desperate situations due to the risk involved, as it essentially robs the target of all free will, rendering them little more than a puppet to the caster. It is... a considerable deal of power to wield. It is... easy to become tempted to abuse the power such a spell grants. I... I-I cannot bring myself to use it. I cannot deprive a subject of what makes them, them. It is nothing more than enslavement of the most cruel kind, as they are aware of their own helplessness. It is... it is perhaps one of the worst cruelties ever developed in the field of magic. And if I could destroy all trace of it, I would do such without hesitation," she stated.
Again Ulquiorra said nothing in response. Princess Luna was under no obligation to justify her reasoning to him, as he had no authority in the situation to pass judgement over her. But her decision to justify her actions -and the lack thereof- did provide a decent bit of insight into the matter. If she was experiencing this much discomfort even discussing the spell, then it stood to reason that she must have some experience with it, and knew full well just what would be at stake should it be utilized. He could only assume that the risks far outweighed any potential gain that might be had from using it; like disabling the safeguards on a computer in order to exert more performance. For all he knew about magic, should the spell be used, anyone with a sufficient degree of magic could hijack Rainbow Dash in her impaired state, and use her as they saw fit.
He could only speculate and theorize that she had experience with how such an approach could go wrong. And right now he would rather not speculate on how that might have gone.
"I have no words of comfort on the matter. Ultimately whatever course of action you pick is entirely your own discretion. If you believe the spell is too risky to use, in order to prevent another suicide attempt, then we will simply consider other alternatives," he replied. He really didn't need her going to pieces as well; not at present time anyway.
This was a matter that needed to be turned over to the local medical professionals, as it was far out of their established areas of expertise. The diarchy was skilled in the art of ruling the nation, whereas his skills were more focused on killing and such. He knew for certain that emotional health and mental stability was far removed from any field he had been required to engage in. And he highly doubted that Princess Celestia's more relevant knowledge had any actual relevancy here. With Princess Luna it was harder to tell, seeing as she'd been away for so long.
"Then we do what? Admit that we have been defeated, and defer to somepony else? Passing the bit as it were, in hoping that they can do something where we have failed?" Luna asked him, not liking the sound of the words as they were tossed out for consideration.
"At the moment it's the only thing we can do. Supportive care has failed in this matter. We must face facts, and admit that we're out of our leagues, as well at outclassed. Deferment is the only logical option available to us," Ulquiorra replied.
He had accepted that simple fact long ago. Why the others had been so slow in adopting it, he didn't know. Perhaps pride resulting from the office they held for so long? Or perhaps it was because he recognized his own limitations better, as he was in a better position to be aware of them.
"There are times I envy you your serenity, Ulquiorra Cifer. The ability to remain calm while under the pressure of a crisis is sadly something that I do not adequately possess," Luna commented. Both he and her sister. It was possible for her to be the same, but it was incredibly difficult to effectively pull off with everything seemingly collapsing around her. "If I may ask, does the inside match the outside?"
Ulquiorra almost blinked, confused by the phrasing. "Pardon?"
"All around us there is chaos unfolding that even Discord would object to. And in the midst of it all, you are like a pillar of strength, and utter calmness. You give no indications of panic when you interact with others. You radiate a sense of order in this disorderly world, acting like a beacon in a storm. But what of your mind, Ulquiorra Cifer? Tell me of your mind, and what you experience for yourself. Do you experience the same sense of calm that others do in your presence? Is there any inner turmoil that you must wrestle with? How do you face such overwhelming terrors of unknown origins, and never even perspire? Is there any sense of terror you hold within you, that must be wrestled into submission for you to approach the situation with such logic at all times?" Luna asked him. She understood that he was an entirely different species from them, but that wasn't good enough for an explanation to her. She had to know if there were any secrets to him, that she herself could refer to in her near-frenzied state.
Ulquiorra remained silent, equal parts uncertain of how to respond to the question, and also uncertain of what the proper response was to Princess Luna's evaluation of him. Was that how these ponies saw him? Did they view his presence as comforting since he didn't get flustered? Were they aware of his calm-by-default nature, and drew upon it for their own benefit?
Perhaps he had been unconsciously adopted as some sort of litmus test by the populace, and so long as he didn't become visibly disturbed, those around him knew that the situation hadn't yet gone straight to hell in a hand basket.
All of that aside, Princess Luna had presented a very good question. And it was a question that, up until now, he had little reason to think on. How exactly was he so calm, collected, calculating, and logical?
Hollows, by their very nature, were creatures driven purely by instinct; the instinct to feed, and the instinct to survive. Rational thought was something largely foreign to them. Whatever intelligence they possessed as humans was completely absent upon their transformation. And in most cases that intelligence was never recovered. Very few Hollows ever learned how to tame their primal urges and exert thoughtful control over their bodies.
And then there was him. He was an anomaly as far as he could tell, standing in direct contrast to basic Hollow nature. Whereas they were driven by predatory instinct, he was driven by basic logic. He didn't simply react, but rather thought. He reasoned, he calculated, he evaluated. In short he was everything that a Hollow wasn't, while simultaneously being a Hollow. It was perplexing to consider.
It was also... uncomfortable. The thought left him pondering how his personality and mind had managed to survive not only his original Hollowfication, but also persevere and exert total dominance during the Gillian phase of his evolution.
And yet, despite the fact that he had persevered, he had no idea why he couldn't remember anything prior to his Vasto Lorde status. His Gillian and Adjuchas stages of developments were unconscious blurs to him. Why couldn't he remember who and what he had been previously? Was it all because those previous stages had been absent of his current logical mindset, and thus weren't worth remembering?
But if that thought was true, where had his logic come from, if it had indeed absent previously?
There were far too many questions right now.
"Reason and logic is all that I know. Fear, anger, sadness, desperation, anxiety, happiness, etc. they are all foreign concepts that I haven't experienced for myself. Or, if I have experienced them, I am not aware of having done so. I don't know how to succumb to panic in the face of a crisis. And even if I did know how, I wouldn't be able to see the point of it all. Panic clouds the mind, makes one sloppy in their ability to think, and heightens the potential for mistakes. It's counterproductive to survival and success," he explained calmly.
Luna listened as Ulquiorra spoke. She had been expecting some piece of relevant advice that she could hopefully apply to herself. But that wasn't the answer she got from him. Instead of being informed of some secret to inner tranquility in the face of chaos, she was informed that he simply couldn't panic, because that part of him simply didn't exist.
"You have never known these things for yourself?" she asked. It was almost a reflexive action on her part, born from an inability to actually believe what she was hearing. It had to be a mistake. "You have never experienced what it is like to be scared? Or happy? Or loved? You have never known what it is like to have someone worry about your well being?"
"No," Ulquiorra replied simply, seeing no point in adding anything more to the discussion.
Luna didn't know what to say in response to this information. All she knew for certain right now was what she was feeling, and that feeling was her heart absolutely aching at this revelation. And if she hadn't been selfish in her desire to know how he remained calm, she never would've known about his own experiences, and the lack thereof. And right now, she didn't know who deserved her sorrow more.
On the one hoof there was Rainbow Dash. She had been the victim of the cruelest of cruel attacks. Her mind had been attacked and invaded, and her trust in her friends had been disrupted. Her recollection of events that had transpired had been tampered with, leaving her uncertain of what was even basic reality anymore. Her sense of loyalty in others had been shattered, affecting her connection to her Element of Harmony in the process, and filling her with a sense of despair that was so strong, she had attempted to end her own life in response. And this entire time she had been left feeling as if they had cared more about her Element of Loyalty rather than her, and not saying a word until she had been confronted about such. She was one who had known the joys of the magic of love and friendship, and had experienced the horror of having them ripped away from her, along with her sense of trust.
And on the other hoof there was Ulquiorra Cifer. Born into a cruel and uncaring world, a world where violence, murder, and death were all commonalities of everyday life. His very existence was the result of laziness -or just plain outright malice- on the part of those who were tasked with tending to the souls of the departed, leaving him forced to fight for his own survival, possibly killing those that could easily be his own brothers and sisters for all she knew.
It was true that Rainbow Dash's ordeals were tragic. But so were the ordeals of the Espada as far as she could see. By his own admission he was nothing more than what he appeared on the surface; an empty shell that knew nothing except logic. He had no knowledge of what it was like either to love, or to be loved. There were so many things he had never experienced for himself, and it was just so tragic to consider. And perhaps what hurt the most was the fact that he was oblivious to it all. He was like a neglected foal who had never known anything but hardships his entire life, and had grown up to be emotionally dead inside; existing but not living. He was utterly numb to his own misery, and had come to accept it as the only other thing that existed beyond his own grasp of logic.
Luna's heart was indeed aching with this revelation. But it was aching equally for the both of them. They were practically siblings in their suffering.
"Princess Luna... you're crushing me..."
Luna blinked in confusion as she looked up. It was only then that she became aware of the fact that, sometime during her inner observations regarding the Espada's history, she had pulled him into a tight bear hug, and was currently holding onto him for dear life, as if she could take away all of his pain by herself through the simple embrace.
And if his voice was any indication at all, he seemed to be in a considerable deal of discomfort right now. And it was all her fault. Immediately she released him from her grasp, letting him land on his feet as he panted for air.
"I apologize, Ulquiorra Cifer, I allowed myself to become absorbed in my own thoughts," she replied and blushed sheepishly. Lost to the point she was unaware of the fact that she'd been hugging the stuffing right out of him this entire time. "Did I harm you?"
"Nothing that won't heal," Ulquiorra replied. Although if she'd hugged him any harder, or for much longer, she would've broken his ribs, and likely perforated his lungs in the process. "What had you distracted?"
"It is a matter you would find to be most foalish in nature if I tell you," Luna stated.
"Perhaps so," Ulquiorra acknowledged. It was nearly a foregone conclusion that he would fail to see the logic in her course of action, as such had happened so many times before. "If you have no desire to share your thoughts, that is your decision," he stated before turning around to walk away. If there was nothing left to be said, then there were other matters that could be tended to.
"Wait," Luna spoke up as he was walking away, causing him to stop and turn back to look at her. "Merely because you would find it foalish, does not mean that you do not deserve to know," she explained, before stepping closer to him, and preparing to explain the matter openly. "Your explanation of your nature reminded me a great deal of the plight of some foals whose dreams I have witnessed. There are, unfortunately, a number of areas that are less... pleasant than Canterlot and the like. And those in these areas know little more than hardships. It is heartbreaking how ones so young and have barely started living, have to grow up in such cold conditions, and never know anything else. And I honestly do not know which predicament is the worse of the two; those who know nothing but pain, or those who did know of joy and love, only to have it ripped right from them."
Ulquiorra listened quietly as the matter was explained to him, uncertain of exactly what to make of what Princess Luna was saying. She regarded him like he was an orphaned foal? It was utterly preposterous in nature.
And yet... it provided an interesting degree of introspection into the mind of the lunar alicorn. She both regarded him as a pitiable individual, and a source of great comfort through the proximity of his calm nature. It was paradoxical in her part, seeing one of his strengths as a sad aspect of an existence she simply didn't understand. And her comparison of himself to the cyan pegasus, along with actually pondering which of them was the greater tragedy.
What was that phrase for situations like this? Crying for the devil?
"Your concern does not go entirely unappreciated," Ulquiorra spoke after a long stretch of silence, uncertain of what else to say in the matter. Even with all his logic, he didn't know just how to respond. He could certainly point out the lack of logic in her view. But right now that approach didn't seem entirely appropriate. It almost felt... vindictive in nature to consider. Petty even. Her efforts to try and compare him to something she was familiar with in her own world was nothing more than a natural reaction. She didn't have Princess Celestia's knowledge of his nature; her firsthand experience as it were.
She also didn't seem to understand that he simply didn't care about such trivialities. It simply wasn't a matter of importance to him. It wasn't as if he spent his time lamenting the nature of his own existence.
"But seeing as she's still alive, Rainbow Dash should be of top priority at the moment," he pointed out.
If Princess Luna were truly determined to see him as a pitiable individual, he understood that there was little he could do about it. But that would be a bridge that would have to be crossed once they came to it. Right now, however, there were more important matters to tend to. Concerns for personal well being was best reserved for the living.
And although he found himself intrigued to a certain degree by it all, it was ultimately a mystery that would have to be deciphered later on. Until then it was just more emotional irrelevancy, and the odd quirks of the living.
And in the meantime, he was left with another matter to address. That being the need to stop considering the Elements of Harmony, and their respective bearers, as two sides of the same coin. If what he found out today was of any accurate nature, they were instead more like complimentary goods. Or perhaps even binary compounds to an explosive mixture; neither one capable of doing any good without the other being present.
"Then perhaps it is time for us to go back in there and begin addressing this matter. Unfortunately there is still some time before we can send word for Canterlot's finest medical experts to report to the palace. And I fear it will be a long wait," Luna replied.
There was a certain point to Princess Luna's concern. With all of the similarities he had noted between pony and human society, it stood to reason that the concept of business hours were in play. Trying to locate the private residence of various medical experts may prove to be a waste of time and resources that could be better utilized elsewhere.
"Then we'll wait," he stated simply. It wasn't exactly like there was anything else they could do on the matter.
Luna didn't know how to respond. She understood the logic of what Ulquiorra was saying, but she still had no idea just what she should say in response. That was one of the most infuriating points about interacting with the Espada, as far as she was concerned. A simple conversation was never quite so simple with him, unless he expressly wanted it to be. And even then, the mental gymnastics that were needed in order to keep up with him, were always significant.
But regardless of that fact, she was still thankful that he was here. He was the calm of this entire storm of uncertainty. And from what she saw on the horizon, the storm had only just begun.
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I cannot say that there is anything that might seem like it is missing, an in depth and detailed chapter as always. It just seems like Ulquiorra has to do pretty much everything around there, even the guards can't do their job right. Now there is a suicide watch added along with the psychiatric help, Rainbow is only going to get worse before she gets any better. Luna takes pity on Ulquiorra for his nature, there is an amusing sense of irony in that along with some rather absurd notions on her part. At least he serviced the hug of death, for now.
Awesome chapter as always.
I shouldn't have laughed at that.....but I did anyways, I then reread it and still laughed. Maybe it was the fact it got Ulquiorra to actually react to it, I don't know..
But now we know of a spell that can prevent suicide at the cost of total control of their free will. Interesting.
Hopefully Discord shows up soon, so he can explain this shit to Celestia Luna and Ulquiorra, or at the very least hint at it.
The hug was funny to a point, but the exchanges Ulquiorra shared with Rainbow Dash and Luna respectively were both rife with feels. An excellent feat.
It's good that Ulquiorra has at least acknowledged his existential crisis - or lack thereof - through the duration of his stay in Equestria. Hopefully, it'll be explored in the chapters to come
Excellent chapter, as always. Existential crises and all that, this chapter was quite interesting. Aizen was a cruel bastard that deserves the worst anyone has to offer.
And now, spelling errors that I noticed
1. More should be most
2. Preset should be present
3. Determined should be determine
4. Compared should be compelled
Can't wait for the next chapter.
Excellent
It is amusing that the ponies seem to both pity him for his life and feel comfort in his calm nature.
I'm a bit curious to learn if the suicide attempt was RD's own idea or a result of more mental manipulation.... And the hug had me laughing hard, I can just imagine Ulquiorra thinking "Why is she leaning towards me..." then a WTF face as she hugs him. 
Below are edits for this chapter:
*the moon, and the raising - the moon and the raising
*needs of the Element bearer should - needs of the Element Bearer should (*1 Not sure about this, but if this is the title you're giving them you might consider having both words capitalized.)
*defend the Element bearer who - defend the Element Bearer who (*1)
*reason the Element bearer was - reason the Element Bearer was (*1)
*of the night guard, Princess - of the Night Guard, Princess (*2 Capitalized the name of their unit.)
*from their solar guard compatriots - from their Solar Guard compatriots (*2)
*"At preset time, we still don't - "At present time, we still don't
*had actually manages to - had actually managed to
*sympathize with his plight, - sympathize with her plight,
*her if she felt compared to - her if she felt compelled to
*indeed absent previously? - indeed been absent previously?
5099452 You missed one; her own crud attempts. Should be crude.
And now they know; If Ulquiorra gives you a order, you. Follow. It.
She'd have a better chance trying to bruise him...
Lesson (hopefully) learned: don't EVER fuck with Ulquiorra.
At this point, is Rainbow Dash the only one that can semi-consistently surprise him? Well, as close as possible anyway.
Dat
assreference.Omake idea; script fuckups. High on the list, Luna saying, "Do the carpets match the drapes?"
Being emotionless certainly helps...
... Fuck-en Christ these ponies are stupid... Isn't this the third or fourth time by now that he's had to explain that he doesn't have emotions?
Hope ya get better soon, Charlie.
5099909
Well to be fair, it goes against everything they know about the universe, the concept of something being without emotion, and still being strong is hard to grasp for a whole country if not whole universe that thrives on emotion and friendship being magic.
Ulquiorra may have felt fear, sadness, and despair before, during his battle with Hollow Ichigo(like when he caught Lanza del Relampago, or just before the cero to the face) but he probably failed to recognize it. I think he has emotions, but heavily suppressed ones that he can't even recognize as such, but as simply 'odd feelings'.
Oh, right. They believe that hollow's exist because the shinigami are lazy, or let hollows exist so they can hunt them for sport.
Kinda weird, never thought Ulquiorra himself would give such a biased, one-sided view of things.
5100445
Well he was never told what the actual reason was by any shinigami, most likely Aizen wouldn't have told them, or just reaffirmed the "they're lazy" idea, so its one-sides because literally he only has one side to go off of.
I like the chapter but I wanted to point out, for those not in the know, that isn't entirely correct. If there weren't hollows there would be an imbalance between soul society and hueco mundo. The primary reason shinigami are at odds with the quincys is: a shinigami can either purify a soul and send it to soul society or they can send a hollow to/back to hueco mundo; a quincy's power destroys a hollow outright. If quincy's were to destroy too many hollows the imbalance would destroy all three worlds. That being said the existence of hollows is actually necessary. Not to mention shinigami can't be everywhere all the time to catch every soul to prevent it from turning in to a hollow.
I realize Celestia and Luna have absolutely no way of knowing this and Ulquiorra may not even know it, but there it is for anyone who didn't know that.
Such as, when one is reading 5 minutes worth of purple prose?
5102388 Actually, in the show, the 'balance' needing to be maintained was only between the Spirit World and the Human World. No intrinsic balance requirement between Hueco Mundo and either other world was indicated.
The Quincy's destruction of Hollow Souls somehow destroyed them in such a fashion that their Spirit Energy was completely lost, and thus no new souls could ever be fashioned from them.
Of course, this whole concept was kinda forgotten when Ishida was blasting Hollows away by the zillions in the Hueco Mundo Arc.
Quite a few early plot elements fell by the wayside once it got round the Aizen-Ichigo god-mode fight.
There are rather intriguing similarities between what's hinted about this spell as what's affecting Dash and the various creatures previous to her mental augmentation.
All 4 of the definitely Vasto Lorde-level Espada were unique in similar respects, that being they rejected or suppressed their base animalistic Hollow drives.
Hallibel sought friendship and trust... indeed, she might have been the Hollow equivalent of Loyalty.
Barragan sought worship and rule.
Stark simply desired companionship of any kind.
And Ulquiorra was fairly close to entirely emotionless, save for an instinctive comprehension of despair, his aspect.
I wonder if this is the mystery prerequisite for an Adjuchas ascending to the final level. Only those who can completely abandon what made them Hollows in the first place find this final stage of power. This might be why Nnoitora and Grimjow couldn't quite make it. They were close, but enough of their Hollow traits remained to prevent evolution, the lust for power and slaughter.
This is very true. Panic responses are needed by animals that cannot reason an intelligent reaction to a situation. It is the only tool they have to save themselves besides wild struggle and fighting. Fear is irrelevant to a creature with an advanced mind, and indeed tends to cloud judgement and fracture thought processes so badly that the endpoint is frequently worse than an animal in a similar situation.
And yet, most humans still stampede in a panic in the presence of a predator...
5099452 Alondro attempts to answer the question about Dash's suicide...
Let me see... think like Rainbow Dash... think like Rainbow Dash... "Ok, so like, there's a thing messing with my mind... How can I stop it? I know! If I'm dead I TOTALLY won't have a mind for it to take over anymore!"
Yeah... I think it was all Dash.
5104134
This entire post.
I like this, and makes a lot of sense and provides a good question.
Why is it human who are so intelligent still prone to such panic?
5104134
That's a very interesting theory regarding evolution to Vasto Lorde status.
And now I'm left wondering just how the Tres Espada would react if she'd been brought to Equestria instead of Ulquiorra.
5104945
I think she would basically just be like another character, since she isn't much of a combat pragmatic person, so I guess she would just be really calm with it, its basically what she wanted to create with her three fraccions.
What I would like to know is how Starrk would react, since he would sleep alot would the dragon have killed the main 6 as soon as they tried to get into the cave, if not since he probably would be asleep the whole time would the changelings have won and replaced all of ponyville and canterlot, and rainbow's mindscrew yeah, he would have no way of knowing how to deal with that.
How Barragon would react, "EVERYTHING DIES!!!"
5104045 ah. Thank you for clarifying that.
5104945 Well, considering that she 'befriended' the Shinigami (she survived Aizen's betrayal) afterward to a limited extent... I think she would have embraced the ponies friendship.
But, would that emotional attachment have meant her mind would be more succeptible to whatever mental attack the mystery enemy is using?
Since we still have no idea who the enemy is or how the mind-alteration works, I can't even postulate an answer as yet.
5104972 You forgot to add that Barragan would be laughing evily the whole time too.
Until Celestia is like, "Weeeeeell, actually I AM totally immortal! So I can be a gazillion years old and not even get a grey hair! Trololo!"
And Barragan is all like, "D'OH!"
5107640
There needs to be build up, he can't use it on an opponent unworthy of seeing it. That would be out of character.
5106632
And then they just sit on the dead rock of a planet that Equestria was a part of, glaring angrily at each other since neither of them can die.
Or, they make sweet sweet love and spawn horrific monstrosities to populate the planet.
I've been reading too many Greek myths lately...
5108630
Which turn out to be... HUMANS!! Equestria was PAST EARTH the whole time, and it's one of those Mobius time loop things that is a paradox cuz there's no way it could have ever started but readers think it's brilliant despite how contrived and cliche it really is!
5112038
Now that one is just crazy.
And thanks to you I have an entirely new thought about the human/pony interaction thing. What if thousands of years ago Equestria really was earth, but due to unexplained circumstances, the human race went extinct, leaving the ponies to figure out how to carry on without them? Sort of a Planet of the Apes premise but without the bloody revolution.
5113923 Uhm... that's been done a billion times. It's one of the absolute worst HiE tropes. The dreaded 'Equestria is future Earth' tropes.
It never works because one fundamental problem is almost NEVER addressed properly: MAGIC CAN NEVER, EVER WORK IN OUR UNIVERSE.
Now, one could solve this very easily by setting the story into a fictional Earth that already has magic as a real universal property... a Potterverse, or a Dresdenverse, or a Middle Earth, or the Marvel-verse (where you can pretty much throw in any crap you want and make it stick since it's been F'd up and retconned so frequently with omnicidal mega-gods) or just make up an Earth that hass magic... and maybe make the Atlanteans do something really stupid like create Discord in their attempt to become gods and he destroys humanity in his agony of creation and turns ponies into magical talking creatures or what not. There are plenty of ways to craft it such that the emergence or existence of magic on a fictional Earth is covered plausibly.
But somehow, most writers of that trope never bother to think of that and instead our very mundane strictly rule-bound universe suddenly vomits out magical talking ponies. Yeah...
5114230
Nobody's been able to come up with a proper, basic premise for how Equestria could be the future of earth?
Challenge accepted then.
Explaining how ponies got to be intelligent wouldn't require that much work, considering stories like this are making the news. With that kind of news, the weird stuff just gets closer to being truth.
Magic, that's where things get complicated. Perhaps it's always naturally existed in certain concentrations, but the combination of green house gases and ionization from all of our electronics has interfered with it to the point of making it unusable and undetectable by us? But after thousands of years after people, nature finally completes its takeover of our domain, and those genetically smartened ponies have reached the evolutionary point of sapience?
5114394
Then why was there no magic in the pre-Industrial age?
How does the Sun come to orbit the Earth?
Where does Discord emerge from?
You see, there are a MASSIVE number of plausibility factors to account for if someone wishes to go that route.
It's easiest when an alien god just messes up things, then you can basically say "God did it!" and that explains everything. A simple idea is that a chaos god gone absolutely mad (sucks when they do that, though it's pretty much a guarantee that they will) rips into our universe and F's it the hell up so bad that nothing works right anymore. And magic comes as a result and humans work together with aliens to create a giant Genki Dama and blow him up but it costs all of them their lives and souls and in the vast Spirit of Friendship and Sacrifice, the Mythical Tree of Harmony forms from their remnants with the gems being the physical representations of the goodwill between all the trillion who laid their lives down to save the universe from total destruction.
BUT before the chaos god... eh, let's just say it's Loki... dies, he spits out an egg which hatches into Discord many eons later when ponies rule the world. BUT!!!!! Since Eggcord was sitting in a world of sunshine and rainbows for so long, his evil faded away and when he was born he was mostly just a mildly mean-spirited troll god instead of an omnicidal maniac like dear old dad.
So yeah, it can be done. You just have to make sure all the big items are covered plausibly... and not with environmentalist BS that makes it sound like friggin' "Fern Gully Pocahantas in Space"... otherwise known as James Cameron's "Avatar".
so much despair and confusion, shit its like im back in hopes peak academy all over again............ great so this villain is like junko. wants to create despair, fucks with peoples minds and memories, try to get friends to kill friends, and when we do find out who the masterminds is our minds are gona be like
. well that last one cant be said for all but uh I cant handle this man my brain is gona explode tryin to figure out who this devious bastard is. love what you do sir and cant wait for your continued brilliance to come... along with more questions then answers ooh how I do love a good mystery 
I just found a video that sort of fits how Dash felt during chapter 51 to 58.
5116533 One of the best explanations I've seen is that discord has been around for a long time. Even right now he is here watching. But he finds us so amusing that he doesn't have to do much of anything to see the chaos roll. So after we wipe ourselves out he gets bored and starts making stuff.
Upon reading this chapter again for maybe the second or fourth time, that particular temperature stood out for me. And on a whim, I looked up the temperature of "absolute zero".
It's currently thought to be -273.15 degrees Celsius, or -459.67 degrees Fahrenheit. When you round the Fahrenheit number, you get -460 degrees Fahrenheit; Ulquiorra just described an illusion that used absolute zero against a Hollow.
While it's true that fiction does not have to completely adhere to the logic of reality, I feel the need to point out one thing; nothing should survive even a fraction of the time that Ulquiorra described at that temperature. It would be like a bath of liquid nitrogen made 1000 times colder. Or something,
5361995 That definitely sounds in-character for Discord, yes. He hasn't needed to show up to encourage Chaos, because we're practically self-sufficient in that regard; we exist because of Chaos,
Alternatively, Equestria could be seen as an Earth of the past. A past that goes even further back in time than any known prehistoric era; perhaps a great catastrophe struck Equestria, and "reset" the world (molten-stage Earth).
Knowing Discord, he probably managed to avoid the end of the "old" world, but he would have lamented that he practically lost all of his former amusement sources. But then, he would take a moment to realize what laid before him; a blank slate. A world that he'd be able to influence from the beginning.
And thus, once the world became a little less molten, he'd scatter the first seeds of "life" upon what was once Equestria. How different would things be without any inherent "magic"? And more importantly, how different would Chaos be without magic and a complete freedom of choice?
...Several billion years later, Discord has trouble not finding amusement on "Earth". Especially so in the case of the humans; overlooking their moments of pointless violence, they constantly act in ways that motivate him to continue watching. Forever amused, and perhaps even happy,
6376241
What can I say? That's just how brutal Aizen is. He wanted to make sure his lesson took the first time.
6376241
MAGIC IS REAL. LOOK IT UP TO WICCA.!!!!!!
The magic is there in the world, but the normal humans with their limited minds want not think this and just disparaged as superstition.
6376241 I think the point to remember here is it was an illusion, not what really happened. But convince the mind it is undergoing something unsurvivable for long enough, and it will break.
At this point, I wonder if Ulquiorra will experience a feeling new to him. That'll be a good progression for him. 🤔