Chapter Forty Three
Chapter Forty Three
"I'm tellin' ya, bro, with the level of digit dexterity ya got, ya could crank out some wicked tunes on any instrument ya pick up!"
As far as Ulquiorra was concerned, this entire gathering was most odd in nature. The level of interaction he was having with others greatly exceeded anything he assumed would be realistic, all things considered. He was more or less sought out and pulled into conversations about varying topics, with an enthusiasm that was all too unusual from his perspective.
Filthy Rich wished to discuss business propositions with him, despite the fact that he'd witnessed a relatively brutal slaying to one changeling right inside Barnyard Bargains.
The next interaction he had was with Cup Cake of Sugarcube Corner. She was mostly interested in how he was faring, and how their fine land compared to his foreign land. All in all it was a rather strange interaction.
Ditzy Doo's youngest daughter, Dinky Hooves, had enjoyed questioning him about unusual things, and laughing at the way he talked when he provided answers. Apparently his particular style of speech served as a source of amusement to the filly, much to her older sister's chagrin.
The pegasus colt by the name of Rumble hadn't been sure of just what he wished to discuss, and terminated his interaction shortly after initiating it.
And now the unicorn Vinyl Scratch was talking about his potential for musical aptitude due simply to the nature of his hands. Apparently the only other ones who had the potential to match him, were either unicorns or gryphons. For whatever reason, she seemed the most intent on conversing with him at the moment. Even after their initial meeting in the park, she still seemed to possess incredible intent when it came to interacting with him.
"I would assume musical inclination to be the more important of the two factors. And it is a factor I don't possess," he replied. How long did she intend to keep up this nonsense before acknowledging that it was a lost cause. "Furthermore, I fail to see how anything could be cranked out, as none of the instruments you've shown me possess anything even remotely similar to a crank mechanism."
He was certain that would be the end of the discussion. Unfortunately his statement seemed to do nothing to deter the white unicorn, as she simply started laughing in response to his statement. He no more understood it than he did Zecora's amusement. What exactly was so funny on this matter?
"Vinyl."
His attention turned away from the white unicorn before him, to Twilight as she approached. Perhaps the question of what exactly was so funny, was one that wouldn't be answered anytime soon.
"Oh hey Twilight, how's it shakin'?" Vinyl asked as she turned her attention towards her and away from Ulquiorra.
"Uh..." Twilight paused, uncertain of just what that particular usage of slang meant in this particular situation. Sometimes she wondered whether Vinyl Scratch or Rainbow Dash were the worst offender of such language indecency. But she continued regardless. "I'm just seeing how everything's going. Making sure the guest of honor is enjoying himself," she explained as she turned her attention to Ulquiorra.
Guest of honor? That was certainly a title he never thought that he would ever hold. But then again that was nothing new, as he'd been experiencing a lot of strange things lately.
"So how is everything going, Ulquiorra? Are you enjoying your party?" Twilight asked him.
"At present time I'm uncertain. This is the first gathering of this kind that I've ever been privy to, making it difficult to determine how things are proceeding. Furthermore, no one has ever taken the time to ask me about my own state of enjoyment before. It's a question for which I have no available answer," Ulquiorra replied. It was certainly a unique question, if nothing else.
"But you believe everything is alright, right?" Twilight asked further. "Nothing like dizziness, disorientation, dry mouth, or itchy skin to distract you from the party?"
"None," Ulquiorra replied, becoming mildly curious at this line of questioning he was being presented. "Why?" he asked, noting a shift in Twilight's posture at his own questioning. This was starting to remind him of his own questioning of Zecora in an effort to gain information regarding her tale of roho mlanji.
"Let's just say that Pinkie's parties can be kind of disorienting to someone who's not accustomed to them. I know I sure was when she threw a surprise party the first day I moved to Ponyville," Twilight replied.
Vinyl nodded in agreement with her statement. "Ain't it the truth. Pinkie's a nice mare, but sometimes being around her when she's excited makes my ears ring something fierce. Might wanna add that ta the list o' things."
He would admit that was a reasoning he could fully understand. Pinkie was an anomaly that he didn't fully grasp, nor was he entirely certain that he truly wished to attempt and grasp. There were certain things that were better off being left undisturbed and unapproached. And at the moment the pink earth pony would seem to qualify as one of those things. Or at the very least she sat on the fence of such a classification.
Again he found himself wondering about what kind of chaos could be had should Pinkie ever find her way to Las Noches. What would the ultimate planning abilities of Aizen amount to when put up against the unpredictable nature of the pink earth pony?
Perhaps that would be the invariable meeting between the irresistible force and the immovable object. It was... almost amusing to consider the kind of chaos that could be possible in such a situation. The meeting between Pinkie and Yammy Llargo by itself would likely yield significant interest, as the Diez Espada lashed out against the perpetually cheerful earth pony.
Of course that was assuming anyone was still alive in Las Noches to begin with. The destruction to the city caused by his fight against Ichigo Kurosaki, as well as whatever else had occurred during his absence, left him wondering -or more accurately, doubting- if anything was actually left that could be returned to.
Now that he stopped and thought on it, what could the current state of his own dimension be if Aizen had succeeded in his mission? What would occur should the Spirit King actually be killed? And what would Aizen do once he actually achieved his goal?
Were any of the other Espada still alive? What of the many Arrancar that had been gathered to serve? Had they survived their clashes with the forces of the Gotei Thirteen? And if they did, had they survived Aizen himself? If he had accomplished his goals, and thus no longer had need of their services, had he eliminated them? He was a Shinigami after all, it was in their nature to do such. And if he had no more need of them, it stood to reason that he would do such.
That brought about another thought. But unlike all the previous ones, this was one of a truly disturbing nature. What if he was the last living Hollow to be found? What if all of Hueco Mundo, and everything that was present, had been utterly wiped out of existence.
He had no idea just why the thought was disturbing in nature. That in itself was an utter mystery. All he knew for certain, was that it was disturbing to give any consideration to.
And perhaps even more disturbing than that possibility, was the fact that he'd just discovered that his mind had been wandering. What started off as simply agreeing with how Pinkie Pie was a mystery, had left him pondering on whether or not there were any other Hollows left alive back in his own dimension; two topics that were supposed to have absolutely nothing to do with each other, and yet one had indeed lead him indirectly to the other.
"These ponies are more of a corrupting influence than I initially suspected. It would seem that even I am not immune to their innate ability to spread nonsense, as if it were the common cold," he thought.
"Ulquiorra?"
His attention came back to the present and his surroundings. Had his mind wandered to an even greater degree than he had been aware of? Looking over he saw Twilight as well as Vinyl looking at him in a confused and uncertain manner.
"Are you alright?" Twilight asked as she stepped closer to him.
"Ya kinda zoned out on us there. First we were talkin' about Pinks, an' the next thing I know you're standin' still like a statue in the park." Vinyl elaborated, "something botherin' ya?"
Very strange. He must have been distracted for more than just a few seconds if others had taken notice. Usually his thinking process was much faster than that. Thinking back to the conversation he'd had in Canterlot palace in the immediate aftermath of the changeling incident, he'd been able to deduce five very complicated questions in a relatively short amount of time.
It was something that would need to be addressed later. For now there were other matters at hand to deal with.
"Merely absorbed in my own thoughts. There are a great many things going on right now, and I'm uncertain exactly how to respond accordingly. Being the first gathering I've ever been present for, I'm left lacking much information on what's appropriate," he elaborated. That seemed to be the most accurate recollection he could give currently. There were too many ponies around who hadn't been vetted, to go into greater detail at this point. There was only so much that could be said around them without resulting in a breach of security.
"But you're alright?" Twilight asked again as she came a step closer to his position.
"To the best of my abilities to make such a determination, I believe so," he replied, "what of yourself?"
"Huh?" Twilight asked in uncertainty.
"The others explained that when subjected to times of great stress, you succumb to obsessive compulsive tendencies in order to introduce structure to what is perceived as a chaotic environment. Being uncertain of which stressor was responsible for your episode, I can only speculate. What is your current condition?" he asked.
To Twilight that was a question she truly didn't expect to be presented with. Ulquiorra was actually taking an interest in how she was? He was asking how she was doing? That was... highly unusual for him. And it just lent credibility to her theory, on which she'd been trying to gather more information.
But at the same time she couldn't really deny that him taking an interest in her wellbeing -artificial as it might've been- was a nice change from the usual.
"Oh," she replied and thought for a moment, "I'm alright now. Thanks for asking. It's just been really stressful lately. A lot of things going on, one thing leads to another, you know how it goes," she explained.
"Truly I don't. The fact that such a problem hasn't arisen until just now strikes me as very odd in nature. Looked at from a certain point of view, it seems contrived. As if it were a random thought that would be added to a story with no buildup to suggest its prior existence before that point in time. Almost as if it were nothing more than an afterthought," he explained.
Twilight blinked, unprepared to be presented with a statement structured in such a manner. "That's a... very literary way of explaining things. Do you do any creative writing?" she asked, highly intrigued by the notion of the Espada actually having a creative side to him. Maybe this poison joke incident could actually give them some insight into his character. Maybe the others were right for wanting to wait before acting.
"I do not. However the principle is still the same," he replied as he looked at her. "Why was this matter not brought up before now?"
And then again, maybe even poison joke couldn't make him do something he didn't want to do. There were way too many variables going on right now to tack them all down in a coherent manner. But she'd worry about that later, she had other matters to tend to; such as this potential invasion of privacy she was being faced with.
"First and foremost, it's not exactly something you bring up during the introductory phase of meeting someone new. It's rude, unnecessary, and could be construed as an effort to generate sympathy from someone, or as a leverage tool to inspire greater willingness for interaction than would be had under normal circumstances. It might even be construed as an attempt to gain pity. I'd much rather be treated by others as an intellectual equal rather than a charity case. And if I've done anything to suggest otherwise then I apologize for such," she explained. "Secondly, it's not something I like to discuss openly. I'm aware that I have a problem sometimes, that I get carried away in my need for things to be organized. But that doesn't mean I want it to be constantly addressed, as if I believe others have to be reminded of the fact. It's rude, and highly counterproductive in establishing communication with others. Thirdly, it's something that I believed I had under control, and thus didn't need to constantly discuss it like it was a fresh, ongoing problem that was in need of address. It's an issue I've been working on and getting help for, but it doesn't define who I am. Sometimes slips and relapses just happen when we're not thinking straight. That doesn't mean it's a serious issue though. Nor does not mentioning it previously mean that it's some contrived issue that was just thought up on the fly."
This really wasn't something she wanted to talk about. not out in the open and around other ponies anyway. But Ulquiorra had pressed the issue, necessitating her to speak up. Trying to move him to a less occupied spot of the barn simply wouldn't have been a possibility, meaning others would have to hear what it was that she had to say about herself. Whether or not that would affect future interactions, and to what extent, it would meaning waiting and seeing.
"You're not the only one," Vinyl replied quietly, speaking up for the first time since the two had begun their conversation. Twilight was looking at her more than Ulquiorra currently. "I've kinda got a thing of my own. I count steps."
"... Say... what now?" Twilight asked. Where had that come from, and what was she talking about?
"Steps. I count each step in every set of stairs I go up or down. But it's not something I like talking about to just anypony because..." she paused as she looked around the room in an effort to judge the current concentration of potential eavesdroppers before continuing in her elaboration. "It doesn't matter how many times I go up them or down them, I still count them. It's like I can't do one without the other. Sometimes... sometimes I feel like I need to count them backwards too... like one might've disappeared on me when I wasn't looking. There are fifteen stairs to the stairwell in my house that lead to the second floor, and I still count them. And it's not just the stairs either, it's the floors too. There might be fifteen stairs, but there are seventeen steps that have to be climbed," she explained, loud enough for the two of them, and only the two of them, to actually hear what she had to say.
Twilight blinked. That had been incredibly weird, and to say nothing of random. Where exactly had that come from? The disc jockey pony was just standing there and admitting to having some idiosyncrasy that she supposedly had? Now that seemed contrived in nature. This sudden revelation was very random, very out of left field, very... nice of her to do, to try and make her feel like her need for organization wasn't the weirdest thing out there.
"Note to self: See about talking with Vinyl more often," she thought as she smiled. "That's actually rather interesting. Tell me, Vinyl, why count the floors as additional steps when they're not actually integrated into the structure of the staircase?"
Ulquiorra simply said nothing about the strange revelation being made. He'd been aware from the beginning that these ponies possessed strange idiosyncratic behaviors. However he wasn't aware of the true depths that said idiosyncrasies ran. Nor was he able to find any reason to be interested in learning about such.
However Twilight's reasoning did make a good deal of sense to him, leaving one less mystery to address. It seemed reasonable that she wouldn't want to be known by her disorder, whatever it might be. However, as he addressed an itching sensation at his neck just under the collar of his jacket, he couldn't help but wonder how many others were going to arise before another could be adequately addressed. What exactly was going to be happening next in this strange world?
To put in the simplest terms available, absolutely every single part of Diamond Tiara's body was aching right now. Her legs ached with every step she took, her back was screaming at her, her lungs burnt and strained her ribs, and if she wasn't allowed to rest very soon, she was going to start heaving her guts out from severe physical exhaustion.
Next to her, Silver Spoon didn't appear to be doing much better. This was shaping up to be a stupid, stupid idea! Traipsing through the Everfree Forest to keep three dumb, useless, blank flanked fillies from getting eaten by something? Why had they even agreed to do this in the first place!?
Making it all the worse was the fact that said dumb, useless, blank flanked fillies weren't showing any signs that would indicate them experiencing the same physical exhaustion. They still seemed just as fresh as when they'd started on this journey of theirs. It was like perpetual motion of something, it was just plain unnatural!
"I need to rest," Silver Spoon panted as she trudged along. Keeping pace with the other three was proving to be outright impossible, but keeping sight of them was starting to become an equally impossible goal to achieve. If something didn't change then they were going to get left behind.
"Ain't no time fer rest," Apple Bloom commented as they kept walking along like it was the easiest thing in the world.
"If I don't get a chance to sit down and catch my breath, I'm gonna puke," Diamond Tiara whined through her exaggerated gasps for air.
"That's not our problem," Scootaloo stated as she stepped under a low hanging branch.
"How come you three aren't the least bit tired? We must've been walking for hours by now," Silver Spoon complained.
"Fifteen minutes actually," Sweetie Belle corrected as she slid around the side of a rock in their path.
"This ain't nothin'. We do more running around than this in a single day when we go out crusadin'," Apple Bloom pointed out. Compared to some of their efforts this was like a walk in the park... even if the particular park was the Everfree Forest as they walked to Zecora's. The only reason they weren't currently galloping was because they couldn't take the risk of the two slackers getting hopelessly lost on the way.
Behind them Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara groaned. Both from the fact that there would be no rest for the weary, and because of the revelation that'd come from Apple Bloom's word sinking in. They were saying the reason they were so strong was because of how much exertion they put into getting their cutie marks! They'd wound up creating this problem themselves, and now they had to pay the price for it! They were being hoist by their own petards!
"We've created three monsters," Silver Spoon moaned and hung her head.
"Three blank flanked, strong as a bulldozer, monsters," Diamond Tiara stated, feeling the distance between them growing wider apart. Unicorns and pegasi weren't meant to have so much physical strength to them!
"Diamond," Silver Spoon panted, "do me a favor. Find a rock, and put me out of my misery..."
Diamond Tiara ignored her friend's theatrics, instead trying to focus on not losing sight of the three up ahead of her. Getting left behind had no appeal to it. Apple Bloom had already threatened to tie them to a tree and leave them behind like mutts if they couldn't keep up.
There had better be a medal in it for them after all they were going through.
There were a lot of things that Celestia truly had no care for. Among them was the use of widespread magic over her subjects, for whatever reason. She had tried to reconcile her actions with herself, telling herself that the course of action she'd taken had been necessary. But despite her best efforts, she couldn't truly do that.
Twilight was aware of the one spell she'd used on the ponies in the immediate area, the one that suppressed their fear of Ulquiorra in order to allow for unrestricted interaction with the Espada at the party currently taking place. However she hadn't been informed of the second spell that was in place. The one that had been cast on the assembled ponies, that was designed to leave them relaxed around the diarchy, and treat them like they were just any other ponies. She told herself that it was the best course of action to take for everyone involved, but that didn't necessarily mean that she actually believed her own words.
Being in charge was such a pain in the flanks at times.
That didn't even take into account all of the efforts being made to keep things running smoothly with regard to Ulquiorra. The powers that be were more or less working overtime to keep the rumor mill in check, and prevent panic from overtaking the land. The fact that anypony had asked about the incident from several days ago, meant that she hadn't had everything under control. And now she was doing damage control to prevent panic.
But that would only work for so long. Even with everything she commanded, only so much could be done. Sooner or later she would have to address the matter openly; maybe even release a press statement.
"I think Twilight might've been right about it being poison joke."
It'd been a hushed statement that snapped her out of her own thoughts. Looking to her side she saw that it was Rainbow Dash addressing her as she sat. That was a little bit unexpected, she was certain it would've been Twilight updating her on such.
"Are you sure?" Celestia asked as she turned her attention to the cyan pegasus.
"Kinda. I think I saw spots under his collar when he was scratching his neck. Twi' might know what she's talking about," Rainbow Dash explained as she looked over to where Ulquiorra currently was, that being in a conversation about Pinkie regarding something or other.
"Has he displayed any strange behavior that might be grounds for concern? Anything that might actually confirm our suspicion?" Celestia asked. The fact that he was actually conversing with Pinkie in and of itself struck her as strange in nature, but not necessarily as something to actually cause concern. At least not just yet.
"Nothing yet. So far he's just mellow and stuff. It's weird seeing him like that," Rainbow Dash replied she said as she watched with Celestia, before turning her attention elsewhere. "Even weirder how only Twilight noticed something possibly being out of place."
"Yes, I can understand how such a revelation could be disconcerting to consider," Celestia replied as she gave a nod. "We like to think that we have a firm grasp on the world around us, that we'd be aware of something being out of place. And yet when it comes down to it, we're just as oblivious of such as rocks are to the wind."
That was a little deeper than Rainbow Dash was expecting to encounter. But she nodded in agreement even if she didn't completely get it, figuring it was better than looking dumb and asking her what exactly she meant. Simply because they were on more relaxed terms, that didn't mean that she wanted to appear as a complete idiot around Celestia.
"So what exactly is Pinkie doing right now?" Celestia asked her.
"I think she's trying to teach the dude some party games..."
Ulquiorra looked down at the strange implement currently resting in his hand, consisting of some piece of fabric and what looked like a push pin. To say he didn't understand it would be an understatement.
"What exactly is the purpose of this?" he finally asked. Whatever Pinkie was up to, there would need to be greater elaboration before he could do anything one way or another.
"It's for a game of "pin the tail on the pony" Ulqy!"
Hardly elaboration to any significant degree. If anything it just lead to greater confusion, as he looked around the room.
"All of the ponies present appear to be in possession of their tails," he replied, pointing out what should be rather obvious, "furthermore, I fail to see how such a concept could be considered a game. Wouldn't using a push pin result in bodily harm to the recipient? I don't foresee anyone volunteering for such a duty."
It was a concise, logical explanation of how he saw the situation. The only thing that had been left out was how, if any pony was truly missing their tail, the reattachment was best done in a hospital following proper medical procedures, rather than attempting to tack it on in a manner that would never heal and rather serve as a useless, lifeless stump that would rot away and potentially cause serious infection in the process.
Adding to his uncertainty over the whole matter, Pinkie merely laughed in response. He was apparently missing something, but he wasn't sure just what it was yet. Adding to the confusion was how other assembled ponies were also laughing.
"You don't play it with a real pony, silly, the idea is to try and pin the tail on the picture of a pony while blindfolded," she stated and gestured over to the other side a room, where a rough caricature drawing meant to represent a pony -minus its tail- was being pinned to the barn wall.
He looked at the drawing, and then back at the mockup tail that rested in his palm. The general idea of this whole thing was beginning to take form in his mind. But that still didn't mean he possessed a sufficient grasp of just how it was supposed to be entertaining to engage in.
However, judging by the look in the pink pony's eyes, he was about to be shown why others found it entertaining, even if it truly wasn't.
Perhaps he shouldn't have agreed to go along with what the foals had asked about.
"This can't end well, can it?" Celestia asked.
"Probably not," Rainbow Dash replied as they watched.
"Do you think we should intervene before something happens?" Celestia asked.
"I don't think it's reached that point yet. I think we should wait and see where this goes first. Who knows, we might be pleasantly surprised. Right now I'm gonna grab a cupcake, settle in, and catch the show," Rainbow Dash commented. However no sooner had she spoke, did a cupcake present itself before her, wrapped in a golden aura. Looking up she saw it was Celestia's work, snagging each of them a cupcake to snack on. "Thanks."
"No trouble at all. That's what friends are for," Celestia replied before taking a bite of what promised to be a most delicious frosted chocolate cupcake.
Except it didn't taste all that delicious. And it most certainly didn't taste like chocolate. This cupcake was tainted by something that was a sickly shade of green oozing out of the center.
It was okra paste!
There was only one pony in all of Equestria that would have the unmitigated gall to even dare and defile her confectionery treats with a source as wicked and vile as the much hated/feared/loathed okra paste!
"LUNA!"
It was a bellow from across the room that met with such intensity of force against Luna's mind, that she was nearly blown over from the nonphysical impact of it. Her pleasant conversation with Fluttershy and Rarity had been interrupted with great malice that was felt rather than heard from audible words. It was the kind of bellow that could only be experienced through the magic of a telepathic link shared by two alicorn sisters for discrete communication, in situations where conversation along more traditional routes wasn't a possibility.
Looking over to where Celestia sat, Luna took in her appearance. She was calmly sitting down, maintaining the usual face she did when dealing with their subjects in an official capacity. It was one of the best poker faces in existence, as it gave no indication of how she was really feeling right now. The serenity she attempted to portray stood in direct contrast with the tone of her telepathic voice.
This could either be a source of great fun, or great misery. she wasn't sure as to which just yet.
"Is there a problem, dear sister?" she asked along the same telepathic lines that had been opened.
"You know very well that there's a problem. Nopony else would think to use okra paste to defile sweet baked goods," Celestia replied angrily, wanting so angrily to crush the cupcake within her grasp right now.
"Oh. That," Luna replied. Suddenly trying to maintain her own poker face was proving incredibly difficult, as she so dearly wanted to laugh at imagining the kind of face her sister so dearly wanted to be showing right now. "Thou didst bring it upon thyself. Thou didst start this war of pranks, we art only abiding by the rules of engagement," she replied, before quickly adding, "besides, thou didst most certainly deserve it! Thou knowest how much we hate mashed alfalfa!"
Celestia was left mentally stammering as she attempted to construct a proper response. She could feel the veneer of serenity cracking before her right now, and the urge to engage in truly juvenile behavior right here and now, was growing stronger by the second.
"Thou art in so much trouble once we return to the palace, thou little brat," she shot back.
"Then perhaps we shalt have our fun now while the opportunity is still present. If we art to be punished, then 'tis only appropriate we are punished for something significant," Luna replied, unfazed by what her sister was telling her.
"Laugh it up, Lulu, just you wait," Celestia warned.
"Thou may wish to laugh it up thyself, dear sister. It doth promise to be a long night indeed, and thou wilt fall asleep long before we retire with the rising of the new day's sun. Thou cannot stay awake all the time. Anything could happen," Luna replied, the grin she was mentally giving practically being felt over the telepathic link.
Silence. Utter silence crossing the link, yet Luna could tell that the horrors of her words were properly sinking in and getting the point across. She could feel her sister's uneasiness, and could only imagine the look on her face just beneath that veneered poker face she was trying so desperately to maintain.
"... Oh fuck me..."
At that squeaky little comment from her sister, Luna lost it and burst out laughing, much to the confusion of those around her.
"... And tha's the story, Zecora," Apple Bloom said in conclusion of her tale to the zebra shaman, explaining the perceived severity of the situation, as well as why they'd ventured so far out to find her.
Zecora listened quietly as her guests explained the matter. She didn't exactly know how Ulquiorra had managed to become afflicted with poison joke, as she'd made sure to show him the path around the current growth of the season. Yet according to them he was suffering from it, for whatever reason. Had he not heeded her warning and simply traipsed through it without regard for its presence?
Or... could it have been exposure to the pollen? It seemed absurd to give any consideration to. Poison joke affliction from pollen alone was so rare it was almost unheard of, as pollen itself hardly ever managed to carry the contaminating aspects of the plant itself. And when it did, it was in such small amounts, that only the most vulnerable could become afflicted. And Ulquiorra hardly seemed like the type to be highly susceptible to such.
But as unlikely as it seemed, it simultaneously made the most sense out of all the possibilities open to them.
"This situation is quite bad, there is good reason for concerns to be had," she replied as she stepped into her hut in order to consult her books, the five fillies venturing behind her. Where was that one tome? "Your friend is indeed a plight, thank you for bringing this fact to light."
"Does she always talk like that?" Diamond Tiara asked Scootaloo.
Scootaloo frowned. Part of her wanted to ask Diamond Tiara exactly what she meant, to suggest that she saw nothing wrong with the way Zecora spoke. She'd been around the zebra so long that understanding her rhymes was easy. But another part of her, the part that had to put up with the uppity earth pony's whining and slow pace, the part of her that was currently stronger than her logical part, chose instead to knee her in the shoulder. She was met with a grunt of protest but give the command of "hush"; something she never would've gotten away with doing back in school, or even in Ponyville.
"Let us see... let us see. Apple Bloom, might you assist me? To prepare an antidote I will need my book, but there are several piles through which to look."
"On it, Zecora," Apple Bloom replied and moved over to where the zebra kept her reference material. If she needed to consult a book for a potion that should be standard around these parts, something must've been up.
"The rest of you, I may need help from you all. This potion, it must be delivered before nightfall," Zecora announced.
"Why by nightfall? Will Ulquiorra's infection become permanent if we don't get it to him by then? Is he going to be under the influence of poison joke forever?" Sweetie Belle asked, suddenly finding herself very nervous as the prospect of there being a time limit in place. Already she was starting to anxiously look about the room for anything that might aid them in their efforts.
"No. The Everfree Forest is quite dangerous at night. You fillies should try to be home while it's still light," Zecora replied, an amused grin on her muzzle as she explained.
The party game of pin the tail on the pony hadn't quite been what he'd been expecting it to be. Under the proper context he could see how it might be considered an interesting exercise, meant to test balance, coordination, muscle memory, equilibrium, and the ability to make course and directional adjustments based on vague units of measurement that possessed no correlation with a ruler. And all while being blindfolded.
Being effortlessly spun about by Pinkie had also been a strange experience. She was deceptive in her level of physical strength, and continued to leave him confused.
Of the dozen or so that partook in the game, his placement had not been particularly outstanding. There were those far more skilled and seasoned in the event than himself, while others seemed graced by the luck of the draw as it were. Which category Ditzy Doo fit into with her perfect placement, he wasn't certain.
Having taken part in it, he still couldn't understand what exactly made it fun to experience. However he did see that it might possess some useful aspects if applied in the correct manner. Knowing how to regain one's center of balance after being forcefully spun about in a disorienting manner, certainly had practical applications. However being made to rely on others for guidance was less than appealing.
There were other activities currently taking place inside the barn. Some of them he could find to be mildly interesting, such as the throwing darts competition that Carrot Top and several others were engaged in. Watching the game be played by those that possessed no fingers had been informative, while at the same time confusing.
Others, such as Toss Across being played by Dinky and several other foals, not quite as much. While there was the matter of hand/eye coordination, and determining how much strength was necessary to launch a beanbag to a desired distance, it simply hadn't been enough to hold his interest.
And then there was the matter of the game of horse shoes. He really didn't know how to describe that one. Equines playing a game with what amounted to actual footwear for them. That would be like humans playing the game, but making use of sneakers, sandals, slippers, galoshes, and whatever else they wore to protect their feet.
As for himself, currently he was being served a slice of cake provided by the mare named Cup Cake. Whether it was a matter of irony or pun, he wasn't entirely certain.
"So, dude, how's the party going?"
His attention was drawn to Rainbow Dash as she hovered over in approach, followed closely by Twilight. This was a question he'd been getting with some degree of regularity from other ponies. What their fascination was with his perception of the party's progression, he wasn't certain.
"There have been a number of developments that are mildly interesting in nature. However if you're asking if I'm enjoying myself, I truly can't say, as it's a foreign concept to consider," he explained.
Rainbow Dash tried not to frown. Fun obviously wasn't in Ulquiorra's dictionary, but she'd at least suspected that for a while now. The way he explained things was like listening to a live reading of an encyclopedia. She'd thought the poison joke might've livened him up at least a little bit, but apparently not. What did Twilight see in this guy anyway?
But she remained undeterred, and continued in an effort to have a conversation with him. "So Twi' tells me you've been learning about friendship. How's that going?"
"So far I've been given several definition of what friendship amounts to, given by different ponies with different points of view. Some have been more useful than others," he replied.
Twilight nodded in agreement. "Applejack, Pinkie and Fluttershy have all been helping. What about you, Rainbow? If you had to describe what you considered friendship, what would you say?" she asked.
"Well that's a toughie, Twi'," Rainbow Dash replied as she scratched her head in through before turning to face Ulquiorra. "If I were asked this question a few months ago, I might say friendship is knowing that those you hold closest to you, would never do anything to trick you into believing you're worthless to everypony around you."
Twilight flinched at Rainbow Dash's words, even if they weren't directly aimed at her while she was talking. They hurt to hear, but it was really no less than she'd deserved.
"However that was then. Now though, I'd say friendship is having ponies who, when they realize that they did something that hurt you, even unknowingly, they'll go out of their way to make it up to you, and prove that they're not a bunch of heartless jerks," she stated. "Anypony can screw up, do something that they thought was warranted at the time. But how they deal with their actions when they realize they made a mistake, that's when you know how you've got friends."
Ulquiorra observed them silently, noting Twilight's physical reactions to Rainbow Dash's words. It was all more than likely related to Mare Do Well and the fallout from such. The flinch and corresponding drop in detectable reiatsu from Twilight indicated hurt, while that which immediately followed indicated a positive feeling.
"Lesson numbers four and five I presume."
"Pretty much," Twilight replied with a shrug, uncertain of what else to add.
It was all mildly interesting to observe. However it also suggested that maintaining a friendship was very labor intensive, and required a great deal of thought and precaution being exercised at any given time. In that regard it really wasn't all that different from a basic business partnership.
He turned his attention back to Rainbow Dash as she continued to hover in place. The fact she was flapping her wings so little in doing so would suggest she shouldn't be airborne at all, and yet she was. But the most confusing aspect to her presently was her eyes. There was a hardness missing from them that had been present previously. They didn't possess the same intensity and ferocity that they once held. Something about her had changed, but what was it?
"You ponies continue to provide many mysteries for consideration," Ulquiorra replied as he picked up the supplied fork to sample the piece of cake on his plate. The way things had been progressing over the course of this day, sampling the provided sweets hardly seemed out of the ordinary.
The cake was... strange to encounter. The dark layers wedged in between the white icing possessed a certain viscous quality, like a combination of lightness and moistness, but not able to be properly categorized in one manner or another. There was also a bitter quality to it -nothing like the coffee from previously, but still noticeable- but it was counterbalanced by the utter sweetness of the icing that bound it together, the two working together in tandem to provide a more mellow flavoring. All in all it was... unique to experience.
"Is it good?" Twilight asked him. Watching Ulquiorra actually eat was... strange. Not just in how he manipulated the utensils to carry out the task, but just plain eating in general. It just seemed... odd... for a ghost to actually do something like that. There were just too many areas where there were gaps in scientific knowledge.
"Rather sweet in nature. But not entirely unpleasant," he finally replied.
Twilight and Rainbow Dash looked at each other. That was probably as close as they were ever going to get to Ulquiorra saying that he liked something. But then again he was going back for another bite of the cake, so that had to be worth something.
Apple Bloom felt herself going cross eyed as she stared at the corked bottle before her. The brew inside was a thick, olive green sort of concoction, and didn't look anything like what she'd helped concoct the last time. She was also pretty sure that some of the ingredients she'd helped gather weren't there the last time either.
"Uh... Zecora? Ah know yer the expert on stuff like this. But is this stuff really gonna work and fix Mr. Cifer? It don' really look like enough ta bathe him with," she pointed out as she eyed the mysterious mixture with uncertainty.
"This is not a potion with which you bathe, Apple Bloom. Rather, it is one your friend must consume," Zecora explained as she slid the bottle into a leather pouch, pulling the drawstring shut around it and sliding it over her head and onto her neck.
"Ugh, I'm glad I'm not him," Scootaloo grunted, remembering the smell that was involved in the potion being mixed. If it smelt that bad, she didn't even want to think about what the taste would be like.
"Let's just get it back to Ulquiorra and let him worry about it. We've got a long way to go, and it's not getting any earlier out," Sweetie Belle replied.
From behind them she could hear the discontented groans of Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, obviously not pleased about having to get up from their resting place in order to get running back home again. They'd done nothing but complain all the way out here, and slowed down the entire group terribly. And she was really wondering if the time that was saved by them helping gather ingredients, was really worth the time spent bringing them out here.
"Do you dance?"
Among the many things that left him confused at this party, it was safe to say the question currently being asked by Lyra was certainly in the running. It was confusing enough to warrant him actually setting down his empty punch cup before addressing her.
"Dance?" he asked as he turned to better face the green unicorn that stood before him. She nodded as she grinned in response. "It's something I've never had reason to engage in. Furthermore, I'm uncertain if it would even be a physical possibility. The differences in our height, to say nothing of our basic anatomy, would suggest that it would be incredibly difficult to do together efficiently," he explained.
He could see Lyra thinking over his words, her mouth twisted off to the side as she considered the points he raised. Finally he observed as she reared up onto her hind legs, using her forelegs to try and balance her posture, before apparently finding the equilibrium necessary to support her upright nature. He couldn't help but wonder if she made it a regular habit of attempting a bipedal method of locomotion. It would at least explain how she could so easily do it compared to the other ponies.
"Is this better?" she asked him as she eased her forelegs down to her sides, now confident that she wasn't about to lose her balance anytime soon.
Ulquiorra observed her as she stood. The height difference was significantly reduced, but there were other matters to be concerned with. There was still the difference in basic anatomy to consider, such as how their own individual limbs bent, and the multiple joints to her hind legs. Then there was the matter of stability. Simply because Lyra could maintain her balance in a standing position, or engaged in a slow walk, that didn't mean she would be able to do the same thing when engaged in any sort of dance, especially if rapid movements were required. There was the distinct possibility that her balance could give out at any moment and result in potential serious injury.
And that was to say nothing of how her frame may not be able to support all of her weight being in an upright fashion, regardless of the fact that she had become skilled in her balancing act. Prolonged exposure and use might result in damage to her skeletal structure.
"Perhaps if I knew what was involved, I would be better able to make an informed decision about participation," he finally replied.
"Well let's see what we can do about that. Vinyl! How about something with a bit of an octane rating?" Lyra asked.
"On it Ly'!" Vinyl called back and bounded over to the music system. She sorted through the selection, made sure all the instruments were in proper check, cranked up the dials, and brought the barn to life with a pulsing beat belting out from the speaker system.
Ulquiorra was torn over what to focus on more. On the one hand there was the synthesizer equipment Vinyl was using, which appeared to make use of complicated electronics and computer programs, which he was certain this world hadn't developed considering the overall state of technology he'd seen up to this point.
On the other hand was Lyra's particular style of dancing. Whereas the other ponies who were participating right now were more than content to dance with all four of their hooves on the ground, the green unicorn's style was one all her own. Apparently her skill in bipedal motion ran much deeper than he first anticipated. However the longer she continued, the more... disturbing... her movements became in nature.
Was she really... did she just... was it... shouldn't that step be physically... did...
"Just how outdated are those anatomy books?" he asked himself as she watched Lyra's movements. "I think I'll sit this one out..."
"We should've gone by scooter, we could've been back home by now," Scootaloo grumbled.
Heading out to Zecora's had been a relative breeze, all things considered. They'd been fresh, it'd been early in the day, it was all good. But now as they were heading for Sweet Apple Acres to accomplish their goal, things were starting to work against them. It was almost like the road had become more unforgiving, and there were more low hanging branches to watch out for. Maybe it was all a matter of perspective, but she really didn't care, she just wanted to get back to the farm, get out of the forest, and get away from the two dead weights that could barely trudge along at this point.
"Don' be silly, Scootaloo, we couldn' all fit in the wagon. An' even if we could, we didn' have enough helmets fer everypony either," Apple Bloom pointed out as she ducked underneath a low branch.
"That's why we should've gone on ahead by ourselves and left those two out of it. They're nothing but dead weight. If we'd gone by ourselves we probably would've been done and back at the party by now," Scootaloo pointed out before turning her head to look behind her. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon were pitiful as they tried to keep up. This was a bad idea from the very beginning. "FAT dead weight!" she yelled back to them.
"Scootaloo!" Sweetie Belle stated in protest. Sure they didn't care much for either Silver Spoon or Diamond Tiara, but there was no reason to be getting rude about it.
"What? They are! They're fat, they're soft, they're useless and sorry excuses for earth ponies. If they don't like it then they should pick up the pace and burn off some of that weight they're carrying around," Scootaloo stated.
"Scoots, don' start it up, please? Le's jus' get back ta' the farm so we can get Mr. Cifer his cure. Tha's what we set out for ta begin with," Apple Bloom stated. As much as she'd like to agree with Scootaloo that those two really were overweight, especially Diamond Tiara, she knew that the longer they spent arguing, the longer they were going to be stuck in the forest, and that didn't do anypony any good.
"Fine, fine," Scootaloo grumbled in surrender, "but if something comes along and tries to eat us, we're leaving them behind."
"It doesn't look like too bad of a sprain," Redheart said as she eased the icepack onto Lyra's injured leg, "but I wouldn't try dancing like that again for a while."
This was a development Ulquiorra had suspected of being a possibility. He'd watched the seemingly spastic movements of Lyra's dance routine, made all the more unpredictable by Pinkie's decision to toss her a hula hoop, all the while knowing that something was bound to go wrong. That something manifested itself in the form of her right hind leg giving out of her, and causing her to collapse on top of herself. To say the least, the results weren't pretty. She was quite fortunate that it was only a sprain and no bones had been broken in the process.
Perhaps next time, if he participated then, a slow dance would be in order. Perhaps if he had done so this time, Lyra's injury wouldn't have occurred, as she wouldn't have needed to overexert herself.
Had this injury not occurred, he very well may have participated, provided the beat was something slower.
"Now that's a party bummer," Pinkie lamented. Things had been such fun up until now. Maybe she really shouldn't have tossed Lyra that hula hoop so she could accentuate her performance. But she'd just been having so much fun at the time...
"Perhaps it would be appropriate to bring this gathering to a close," Ulquiorra commented. It seemed like a logical conclusion to reach. With one of them being injured, it seemed unlikely that the others would consider it in good taste to continue having "fun" while the other watched helplessly. His concept of friendship might've been vague at best, but even he knew that such a practice would be considered mean. And while he was quite capable of being mean, he simply didn't feel the need for it under these circumstances.
"No, no," Lyra protested as she moved, letting out a pained noise in the process, "that's not necessary. We can keep partying, I'll just sit it out and watch."
Rather interesting. If he were asked, he would assume now was as good a time as any to bring an end to everything. And yet they still wished to go on. Were the parties thrown by Pinkie considered so worth experiencing, that even personal injury wasn't enough to discourage their participation?
And with that thought in mind, he found himself wondering about something else entirely. Did these ponies possess an equine equivalent of the word personal? It was certainly an interesting thought to give consideration to, even if it truly didn't amount to anything of substance.
His attention was brought back to the present as Lyra was helped onto a hay bail near one of the walls, allowing her to sit without aggravating the sprain she suffered, while still being able to watch anything that happened around her.
"If this party is to persist, what happens next? Is there more dancing to be had, or are there other activities planned?" he asked as he turned his attention to Pinkie, the look of optimism on her face failing to be removed despite everything that'd happened.
However she didn't even get the chance to say something after taking a deep breath, before there was a crash at the barn doors that drew everyone's attention to them.
As the doors parted, in stepped five very dirty, very exhausted, very familiar fillies. Each of them was displaying varying degrees of exhaustion, and each of them was covering in varying degrees of filth, and each of them more or less leaning on one another for support. Diamond Tiara was currently slumped against a trudging Apple Bloom, her trademark tiara still on her head only because it was currently tangled in her mane. Silver Spoon was more or less serving to support Sweetie Belle and keep her from collapsing onto the ground, leaving Scootaloo to simply drop where she stood. Not a single one of them wasn't panting or otherwise gasping for air.
As far as strange developments went, this was one Ulquiorra truly hadn't been expecting. He had been aware that at some point the three who made up the Cutie Mark Crusaders had left the party, as he neither saw nor sensed their presence after the initial meeting. However he hadn't noticed the disappearance of Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon, nor had he really cared. He had assumed the three had ventured off in yet another effort to gain their cutie marks; the current state they were in -as others gave cries of surprise, and concern, and rushed to tend to them- was certainly not out of the realm of stories that he'd heard about their efforts. However considering the animosity present between the two groups of fillies, he had sufficient reason to doubt the notion of them tagging along for whatever reason.
And what kind of exertion could they have engaged in over such a short period, that they were as exhausted as they currently were? As far as foals went, their reiryoku levels were certainly respectable.
"What exactly is the meaning of this?" he finally asked as he stepped forward.
"Tha's a darn good question," Applejack replied as she turned back to face her sister. "Jus' wha' in the wide world o' Equestria ya been up ta, Apple Bloom?"
There were a lot of things that Apple Bloom wanted to say right now. Things that sounded very thought out and intelligent. Things that conveyed a sense of wisdom that was beyond their own ages, and would leave others surprised that foals could think to such a degree.
But in her tired state, as she reached to undo the pouch Zecora had hung around her neck, none of those things were coming to mind right now. Instead she had to opt for something that was more straightforward in nature. "Doin' the responsible thing," she panted as she slid the bottle out from its leather wrapping to sit on the floor. "Fetchin' Mr. Cifer a poison joke antidote."
Scootaloo nodded in agreement and moved to stand back up, but thought better on it and simply remained on the floor, moving only to reach over and scoot the bottled potion closer.
"We heard what the adults were saying, they were gonna leave you infected because they liked you the way you are right now," she stated.
"So we went and got the antidote ourselves," Sweetie Belle stated in conclusion.
A combination of stifling silence and hushed whispers fell over the barn at the revelation made by the three fillies. A strange combination that only grew stranger as Ulquiorra slowly turned to face the Elements of Harmony for clarification, noting how each of them flinched under his gaze. However it wasn't the kind of flinch associated with surprise, but rather the kind given when one realized they were in trouble and had been caught doing something they shouldn't have.
"Is what they say true?" he asked flatly. However they truly had no need to answer him, as he could already tell by their body language that it was. None of them, not even the Princesses, was presenting a body posture that suggested they were particularly proud right now. "Did you truly intend to leave me in an impaired state after making the discovery that my condition had become compromised?"
"It's not how it sounds," Twilight replied slowly as she hung her head.
"Then explain how it truly is so that I may comprehend," Ulquiorra stated as he turned his attention on her.
"Well... at first it was just a suspicion, when you called me by my first named something you'd never done. But then... then we noticed the spots that go with some cases of exposure, then we knew for certain," Twilight explained.
He hadn't noticed any spots on his person. On a hunch he rolled down his right sleeve, only then noticing a number of them all up and down along his arm, with more slowly beginning to fade into existence, and stretching up onto his palm. Strange how they had hidden so well. Perhaps that was what had caused his neck to itch, rather than the power of suggestion. Without any prompting on his part, Twilight started speaking again.
"We didn't automatically decide to just leave you be, that would be dangerous and irresponsible since we didn't know what the long term effects might be," she stated.
Applejack was torn on what to contribute. On the one hoof she felt her natural honesty wanting to make it clear that she'd been outright opposed to the idea of leaving Ulquiorra the way he was, and that she'd been outvoted. That was primarily why she hadn't interacted with him too much during the party, because trying to keep it a secret in his face would've been too much for her.
But at the same time there was another matter. Rainbow Dash might be the one who represented loyalty, but that didn't mean that she wasn't loyal in her own right. And being loyal to your friends meant not selling them out just to save yourself. It was one of those cases of being stuck between a rock and a hard place. For better or worse, she was in it as deep as her friends right now, sticking it out through thick and thin.
"It was my idea..."
And then much to Applejack's surprise, it was Fluttershy who spoke up next, the shy mare taking a cautious few steps forward in her address. Somewhere, she wasn't certain just where, her friend had managed to find her courage once again.
"You just seemed so relaxed... so laid back, like you could... like you could actually enjoy what you were experiencing. I just... just thought that it might be a good experience. That you didn't have to be so tense all the time. I just... hoped that maybe... just maybe... y-you could understand what it's like to have fun..." she explained.
"Now, darling," Rarity spoke up as she approached and put a comforting hoof on her withers, "you aren't solely to blame. Despite all of us holding a different opinion, we still all agreed to go with the course of action that we did, in addressing this matter. If anypony is to blame then it's all of us, not any one of us."
"It wasn't your fault, girls, I was the one who had the bright idea that we wait," Twilight spoke up as she moved forward, "if anypony is to blame, it's me. I was the one that decided we should wait before proceeding. We didn't have much information at the time, and we wanted to make sure before proceeding. We all agreed that we would go and get the antidote if you were showing any signs of distress or discomfort. But since you weren't showing any indication, we agreed to wait for the party to be over before we responded, due to the time that would be invested in going to get the antidote, and the uncertainty of whether or not your Espada nature would cause you to heal on your own without any intervention," she explained as she looked at the floor, uncomfortable with looking him in the eyes. "And... then there was also the idea that... maybe this was a good thing. If you really were relaxed, we thought a short break from the everyday standard would do you some good, like a vacation."
"We really were gonna change you back, dude, we just... thought we should wait and see. You know... don't rush in without a plan? Don't cause a panic by just casually mentioning poison joke and whatnot," Rainbow Dash offered up in explanation.
He remained silent as he observed them, listening to their words. There were a lot of things that could be said and done under these circumstances. They had used him for the purpose of experimentation, to determine the extent of his Espada abilities, and to see if these unique circumstances could in any way affect his standard outlook on life and the world around him.
And out of all those that had known about his condition, and been in a position of being able to actually do something about it, it had been five small children who had ventured into the forest to seek the antidote for his condition, and at their own personal risk. It was all quite fascinating to consider.
"We're really sorry, Ulquiorra, we really didn't deal with the situation like we should have. You're our friend, and you were in need, and what did we do? We decided to experiment on you like you were a lab rat," Twilight apologized as her head hung.
There were a lot of things that could be said and considered with these revelations taking place. But before any of them could be addressed properly, it would be wise to make use of the antidote that had been procured for him. If the poison joke was truly affecting him, and not in a physical manner, then it had to be mental in nature. It would be logical to tend to the problem and determine the extent of the damage before doing anything else. Without a word he stepped closer and picked up the bottle, popped the cork, and downed the contents.
It was a brew of such a revolting nature, its taste made him want to voice his disgust. This foul concoction was of such a pungent nature, that Spike's special blend of coffee was like a mild brew of tea in comparison. It was truly surprising that something of this stoutness could be contained by a simple cork.
At first he was unaware of anything different. He looked at his arm and the spots that remained, which slowly began to fade shortly after he consumed the potion. And as the spots faded he began to feel his mind growing clearer. Whatever fog-liked stupor had been bestowed upon him by his traipsing through an area infested by poison joke, and all without his realization, he could actually feel it fading away. He could feel his senses returning to their former level of clarity and sharpness. Now he could think clearly, and address the others in a proper manner.
And from what he could see, they were equally aware of this fact. The flinch given as he slowly turned his gaze on them, was like they were bracing for a physical blow to be delivered.
"There are a great many things I could say on this matter. I could easily berate all of you on the decisions you made, and how you handled the situation. Along with your tactics being underhanded, your reasoning was quite childish in nature. You believed that anything I experienced while in an impaired state, would influence me when I was no longer under the influence of poison joke? Did you even give consideration to the possibility that what you were doing, might give rise to the equivalent of a drug addition? And for what? This concept that you call friendship. How exactly is it considered an example of friendship to take advantage of one who is both incapable of making an informed decision, and giving informed consent?" he asked them pointedly. Not a single word was said in defense of their actions. Not by Twilight Sparkle, or Spike, and not even by Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, who were technically in a position of being able to do so.
Their silence was contrasted by the muttered whispering of the other ponies in attendance. They didn't appear very pleased with the news that the holders of the Elements of Harmony could resort to such tactics. And that displeasure was about to grow, as he continued on.
"You six are very well renowned for your feats in protecting Equestria, and the lengths you've gone through to help others in their time of need. And yet this time around, it was five children who rose to the occasions when others did not, putting themselves in harms way to help out another. By venturing through the Everfree Forest where they could've been killed by any one of the seven hundred and fifty known and cataloged dangerous species that regard the forest as their home. It seems amazing that the youngest, and most unorganized, of all those present, were the only ones who reached the conclusion to do what they believed was the right thing. Because they apparently don't share your skewed views on the matter."
Not a word. Not a single word was offered up in defense of their actions by any one of them. They all at least appeared to realize that he was correct in his observation, questioning their status as national heroes if this was how they truly acted. The reiatsu throughout the barn was steadily dropping as he continued; even from the Princesses. If they were reacting in such a manner, it seemed safe to conclude that they were in on it as well to some degree.
"All that said, I should probably commend and congratulate you," he stated, causing those in attendance to go from experiencing guilt to experiencing confusion. And after a few seconds for the obligatory questions of surprise were voiced, he continued. "In all my time here, I never expected to discover that you ponies possessed such guile. I had believed that I'd come to learn as much about you as I realistically could, and what could be learned was of limited use and viability. So I find it quite fascinating to make this discovery. The fact that you were willing to exploit the impaired condition of another for your own benefit, leaves me quite intrigued. It's truly a fascinating discovery to make, and warrants further investigation and interaction."
"Did... any o' ya see tha' one comin'?" Applejack finally manged to ask, this turn of events easily taking her off guard.
"Even I couldn't predict that one," Pinkie commented, utterly stunned by it all.
Out of all the possible ways things could've proceeded, this had to be the strangest possibility by far.
First the discovery that the Cutie Mark Crusaders had been eavesdropping on their conversation -and getting the details wrong in the process- and deciding to set off into the Everfree Forest to find Zecora themselves, because they didn't have a full grasp of the situation and what was going on.
Then they discover the absence of said Crusaders, only after they return covered in mud and tree sap, and tell Ulquiorra about what they heard, and most likely misinterpreted, forcing them to come clean about what was going on, and why they chose the course of action they had.
Then they were scolded by Ulquiorra for their actions, as he laid out just why they were wrong to do what they did... which quickly took the strangest turn yet, as he congratulated them for doing what they did, right after he got done scolding them.
The number of questions just kept racking up by the moment, and it didn't look like there were any answers to be had anytime soon. Ulquiorra's monotone delivery of whatever he had to say, whether it was scolding or congratulating, made it very hard to tell whether he was being honest, or sarcastic, or anything else. They couldn't even tell if he was upset with them, as his expression never changed. Was it possible to get any straight answers?
Unfortunately that was a question that could only be answered in the affirmative. Before they could even begin looking for answers to the other questions facing them, the beaten and bloody body of some unidentified colt stumbled in through the open barn doors, and collapsed on the ground.
"P-P-Ponyville's being attacked!" he cried out weakly.
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...will you stop coming to Ponyville already?
I somehow saw this as being a comedy about dark souls for some reason.
And there's another one.
You and your cliffhangers.
That deleted scene...I just...I don't....No. Nope. Nopenopenope. I'm so glad you took it out. Firstly because I hate that song
, and secondly, because it'll be a cold day in hell when Ulquiorra dances without a huge amount of build up to it.
Ulquiorra is back to normal now, and he is not happy. I can't wait to see how he sticks it to the mane six next.Though, speaking of being back to normal, I really like how you stayed true to what poison joke actually does. It takes away what the affected values most about themselves, like Rarity's hairstyle, or Twilight's magic, and Fluttershy's voice. So it makes sense that Ulquiorra would lose his ability to reason as well as before, as it is something he values. It was so subtle too, such that we'd never have known about it if you hadn't pointed it out. Bravo.
"....oh fuck me..."
Also, thanks for all the background ponies. I really do like Vinyl, Lyra, and Derpy, especially since Lyra wasn't fannon and Vinyl was just pure win. That song you put in the main story was decent, as well.
I especially can't wait for next chapter, now that the party is over and Ulquiorra is about to show them ponies that you do not mess with the Cuatro Espada
Ulquiorra dancing... that... is... fucking awesome!
A comedic chapter all together, vary nicely done. Great chapter.
And so now we arrive at the beginning of problems starting. Fun times ahead.
OHMYFUCKINGGOD!!!
! YOUHADULQUIORRADOTHEGANGNAMSTYLEYOUMADGENIUS!!!!!!!!!
Aw... I wanted the attack to happen WHILE he was impaired...
I wanted to see what he looked like fighting while drugged.
Oh well, we still get to see who the new enemy is, and I doubt it's the Changelings.
I searched Ulquiorra doing the Gangam Style...I was not disappointed
Kill some named character please.
Anyone want to take bets on what's attacking ponyville this time? My money is on diamond dogs or hollows.
4089618
Fuck made my day, this was a kickass start to my entire week!!!!!
The epic chapter and now THIS!!!!!!
Great
OMG THAT DELETED SCENE I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE
Personally, I expected 'Stamp on the Ground' from the deleted scene
I half-expected the Element bearers and princesses to get off with just a mild scolding, followed by personal commendation from Ulquiorra
And along came trouble...
Okay now I get what you mean character development. But still, Ulquiorra needs to have his still-expressionless attitude, stoic and etc. and......
PONYVILLE IS UNDER ATTACK?! BY WHO?!
4089346
Yeah it seems like every time Ulquiorra shows up, something bad always happens. Even he pointed that out.
4089391
Had to be done. If I didn't go that route, the party would've continued on in a highly uncomfortable manner, and the chapter would've concluded with everyone eventually returning to find Ponyville in ruins and on fire.
4089443
You're not the only one who hates the song. Made it really damn hard to actually describe it being done.
The deleted scenes really shouldn't be taken too seriously.
In the original rough draft of the party arc, the structure was incredibly different.
4089562
Comedic indeed. However I was worried that the introduction of Twilight's OCD issues wouldn't be well received, even though it was hinted at a few chapters back. Hence the explanation of why it was just being addressed now.
4089590
There's always more poison joke to be found.
4089618
Oh fuck no.
No! Just plain no!
Goodness no!
Nope!
This is too weird even for me.
Hay no!
Um... no....
4089621
Be careful what you wish for.
4089832
First he berates them for their behavior, then he compliments them for the same behavior. Yeah he knows what he's doing here.
4090113
Nothing good, I can tell you that.
4089621
*cough* RARITY DAMMIT *cough*
4089618 Oh dear god. I have seen things that I can never unsee. While a part of me was mortified a different part was amused. I am so confused.
4090805 I would say that Twilight's OCD was rather well hinted throughout the story, at this point it was just actually addressed. And it was well done in a way that showed a characteristic that she acknowledges as a flaw and that she would not want it to be made public or discussed. Definitely brings out more of realistic sense to the story instead of a childish or naive view. Great work on that.
4090805 Well shit -_-
Who could it be THIS TIME? And why is it I totally wasn't surprised when I saw how Ulquiorra reacted? Ah, well… hey, can Ulquiorra do something fancy with his zanpakuto? Maybe what Kamina does here at 11:11. Just something involving spinning his sword (GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER) around.
This is interesting. I'm guessing Ulquiorra is implying that the Mane 6 can be cunning and manipulative as the arrancar. It could make for a disturbing conversation.
Also, another cliffhanger...
Calling it. That guy that walked in isn't what he seems. Or he is being manipulated.
He went right for them. At a party. The CMC+2 didn't notice anything attacking Ponyville, so it had to have happened extremely recently. But he went right for the party. Unless of course this party was a well-known gathering of many important people.
4091199
Assuming the five fillies cut through Ponyville at all, and that Apple Bloom hasn't mapped out a path from Sweet Apple Acres to Zecora's home. The show's pretty vague about the geography of the area and what location is where. Sweet Apple Acres, Ponyville, and Zecora's hut could all be in a roughly triangle pattern to one another.
4090805
Hm...
I think that the reasoning for him getting infected by the pollen was a good idea in the first place, but what if it was the new enemy that placed it on him?
Chances are, they'd use it again.
And then after a full night, we'd be able the full effects of the effect.
I'm curious what the full blown thing would look like...
4091022 ...Ive seen you on this site for atleast a year or so,If not more,And i only just now find out your a troper
At least Ulquiorra's all sobered up before the attack happened.
To be honest I was hoping he'd be a bit harsher on them... ah well, I can always hope that his words fester inside them for a bit. After all once they make the connection that he was complementing them on their Hollow like behavior, they should start feeling a bit uncomfortable. Also, props to Scootaloo for calling the pain in the flank duo out on being out of shape. You'd think that in a place that gets attacked as much as ponyville everyone would stay in shape. You know the whole: I don't have to out run the ravenous monster, just the other guy behind me.
Below are the edits for this chapter, edit #4 is more of a suggestion:
*strong as bulldozer, monsters," - strong as a bulldozer, monsters,"
*Celestia could left mentally - Celestia was left mentally
*This potion, is must - This potion, it must
*the bottle onto a leather pouch, - the bottle onto a leather pouch, (also, ‘leather’? I’m not so sure about this one Charlie. Yeah Zecora has been portrayed as being a bit more lax than the ponies due to her different culture in many fics, but I doubt she would give something like that to Apple Bloom due to understanding those same cultural differences.)
*seen on to this point. - seen up to this point.
* fer everypony either," Scootaloo pointed - fer everypony either," Apple Bloom pointed
*me by my first named, something - me by my first name, something
4091717
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/544/082/92a.gif
Sorry, I had to. Honestly, though, I'm not surprised. I've only recently started using tropes as much as I have, but I've been a troper ever since I got this here Macintosh for Christmas 2012. When TV-tropes references me. I want them to remember I'm One of Them. If they don't… we're gonna have to repeat the Hot Sauce Incident...
Damn cliffhanger!
Please hurry.
Gotta say, when Ulqy was "congratulating" them I was totally expecting a "How very hollow like." at the end. Oooh imagine the emotional strike that'd be.
4100144
Would've happened too, if they hadn't been interrupted by the notice of Ponyville being attacked.
And then suddenly, an explosion!
Or an attack.
4102282
Or a bit of both.
4104977
I blame their notice of certain things on Ulquiorra and his perceptive, analytical skills. He's both made them aware that things aren't exactly as they seem, and also made them paranoid at the exact same time. Now they're scared, unfocused, and desperately trying not to devolve into shaking, babbling masses of fear.
The fact that Ulquiorra is cold and merciless in terms of support doesn't help either. They've got nobody to hold them and assure them that everything will be alright, because it truly won't be. Even the Espada can't guarantee that they'll be alright.
Awesome chapter
Gangnam dance should be cannon
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAcKM90WPlM
4113754
Oh fuck that is just so wrong on so many levels.
NOW THE REAL PARTY BEGINS!
I can't help but imagine Ulquiorra dancing in that weird Gangnam Style. It brought a few minutes of laughter. But if that was the actual alternative song then i might die laughing.
4314688 His straight face would be what ties it all together.
And here comes the part I was dreading. No, keep your feels away from me!
I can just picture Ulquiorra drinking that potion and his face slowly becomes as cold as before. Terrifying.
Lastly...is it a coincidence that I'm recognizing several of the commenters here? A lot of them have commented on my own fic as well. Hm...
loved that moment.
For the sake of science, I went on YouTube to listen the english voice actor of Ulquiorra.
It's not bad, litteraly better than our french voice actor.
Now I can figure his voice in my head.