BiE :3 will have more to say in morning Edit: Okay I'm back and got to say like always because I'm just one person (who has a horrible memory so skip this if you have already) My group Bronies in Equestria seems like the place you should join I can't wait to read more.
First off, this is bland. Like, eating unflavored, unseasoned oatmeal kind of bland. Watching paint dry (or peel) kind of bland.
Next, normal how? In that he's a proper little drone of consumption, not questioning authority or governance and content to let others dictate how he lives? Normalcy reduces us to numbers, a stand-in, in a crowd; easily disposed of because it's part of the humanity machine, and therefore lacks any defining characteristics that sets it apart from the other cogs that work the machine.
Surely he has something that sets him apart from the rest of humanity (and his peers) other than liking a show aimed at little girls. Give him a personality injection. Give him a disability: hard of hearing, ADD, Alzheimer's Or perhaps he enjoys classical and orchestral music, or country, or bluegrass? Maybe he likes Shakespeare, John Donne, or John Milton over the post modern and post post modern authors?
Also, amp it up with description. describe smells, tastes, touch, vision, and sounds. It maybe intensive, taxing, and mentally exhaustive, but it can only serve to make your fiction better.
BiE :3 will have more to say in morning
Edit: Okay I'm back and got to say like always because I'm just one person (who has a horrible memory so skip this if you have already) My group Bronies in Equestria seems like the place you should join I can't wait to read more.
AHH ITS FREAKAZOID!!!
First off, this is bland. Like, eating unflavored, unseasoned oatmeal kind of bland. Watching paint dry (or peel) kind of bland.
Next, normal how? In that he's a proper little drone of consumption, not questioning authority or governance and content to let others dictate how he lives? Normalcy reduces us to numbers, a stand-in, in a crowd; easily disposed of because it's part of the humanity machine, and therefore lacks any defining characteristics that sets it apart from the other cogs that work the machine.
Surely he has something that sets him apart from the rest of humanity (and his peers) other than liking a show aimed at little girls. Give him a personality injection. Give him a disability: hard of hearing, ADD, Alzheimer's
Or perhaps he enjoys classical and orchestral music, or country, or bluegrass? Maybe he likes Shakespeare, John Donne, or John Milton over the post modern and post post modern authors?
Also, amp it up with description. describe smells, tastes, touch, vision, and sounds. It maybe intensive, taxing, and mentally exhaustive, but it can only serve to make your fiction better.
I like it so far talk about static puting a shock to your system
wow what a way to go, sucked into your own computer