'Ello, a lovely message from your friendly neighborhood admin, Flint Snarks Sparks! You see, I'm here to nip another plant thingy in the bud, or however that metaphor goes. Ah, metaphors, it's like they exist but they actually don't. Really meta. Maybe that's why they're called metaphors. But where does the "phor" come from?

Anyway, today's topic deals with "Looking for X" stories. You see, this is The Writer's Group, so... kind of off topic. Also bloggy. Blah blah blah, it's not a very productive thread and there's tools already... but instead of just flat out banning them, I decided to step forward with a tutorial to help you find that story you happen to be looking for!

Snark still included. You really think I wouldn't...?

How to find "X" story: A tutorial by Flint Sparks! (aka: How To Search Fimfiction with Flint Sparks)

Are you looking for a certain kind of story, like a shipfic or whatnot, but want the independence to find it on your own? Need some hot OC on OC action with no decent plot, or that one fic that will change your outlook on life forever? Look no further (well, look further down this thread plz)!

Step one: cut a hole in the box Browse

You see the browse button? Click it.

Step two: Surprisingly enough, there is a box. Don't put any appendages in it, please.

There is a box to the right to limit your browsing options (if you're not trying to, ya know, browse the entire site).

You can search keywords, add filters (my life is complete). You can add character and genre tags (oh my god no wai!). This shit is so OP, so use it. If you're looking for a short story or an entire effin' novel, you can use word count too. Lots of fields, use 'em.

Step three: Use your actual <pineapple!> blogs!

This is the place you can make blogs. There is a button for "New Entry." Fortify yourself* and use it.

Make a title, then write stuff in the blog. Ask your followers for help finding your story.

Step four: Ignore if you're completely alone

Ask your friends. They have to be useful for something!

*Fortify yourself: to make yourself stronger. Essentially a way to say "man/woman up" but capable of including anyone in or out of the gender binary.

Also, this post is a humorous way of saying "Please don't post these threads without trying other things first." Don't take offense, and at least try other resources. Hell, PM an admin if you're trying to find an obscure story, not to mention there's other groups you can turn to as well.

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I am not Danish poop! :L

*Guitar Hero with Keyboards bruh
*Meme

Flint is a very good admin.

On searching for fics:

There's too many of them!

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Admin Post: How To Search Fimfiction with Flint Sparks

Step one: Find Flint Sparks...

--Sweetie Belle

4405780 Congratulations you passed! You're a winner!

What are you going to do now?

I never understood the need to search for stories. I mean, my stories are all the stories you'll ever need! So why even bother with a search bar?

4405783 That's the spirit!

Wait a minute...

4405783 Because you need peeps to search for your username and stories.

Plot Twist: I stole Flint's nose during step two.

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Well, I'm not actually looking for stories right now, so I think I'll look for cute pictures on derpibooru instead.

Step 1: Go to derpiboo.ru.

Step 2: Click the box between "Search" and "Go" at the top.

Step 3: Type in some search terms, separated by commas. Make sure at least one of them is the word "safe". "sweetie belle, safe, adorable" or "sweetie belle, safe, cute", for example.

Step 4: Click "Go".

Step 5: Click on pictures you like to see the full version. Click on the star to favorite 'em, click on the "Embed this image" link, then copy the text where it says "Thumbnailed BBCode" into a post here, like this:

Step 6: Yay! Cute pictures!

--Sweetie Belle

4405785 It seems if most inquiries were that simple, then I suppose that would work. But they seem to go more along the lines of:
Hey there! I once read this totally awesome story about this pony and the other pony and the thing that was so awesome, but I forgot to like totally bookmark it and now it's like months later and I can't find it again because I can't remember the title or who the other pony was or like who wrote it but there was a tub of cottage cheese and like a total cake orgy. Could you like totally tell me what story that was?

4405800 The steps can work for situations like those.

Do your best, limit your search results with details to narrow it down. Word count, genre, characters, etc. Then blog about it if you need to, or find a group that's related and ask them. Just not us. We are not the holy grail of finding stories.

Also, cottage cheese on cake action is only hot if it's baked.

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I get enjoyment when I see Flint trying to impose intelligence and order.

I'm a horrible person to enjoy the futile suffering of others.

-Lumino

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This tutorial has changed my life for the better.

I was lost and confused. The world was changing so fast and everyone was posting cute pony pictures without me. Now with SweetieAI Belle's patented six step techniques, I'll never be left behind again.

Thank you, SweetieAI Belle Corporation!

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What happens in this place on the weekends?

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Upvoted for references to The Lonely Island. (Actual useful advice is a bonus!)

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Also useful! And cute!

4405819 Nah, you're not. I enjoy my futile suffering as well. Fuels the snark.

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It almost astounds me how many posts I've seen around the site where a user doesn't know how to properly use the search function. Thank you for posting this thread.

(Now if only more people would actually heed this advice...)

p.s. May I add a minor, optional thing to step 2 regarding searching for keywords?

If you can't find what you were looking for from the Fimfiction search, try using Google.

(Even though the site's search uses Google, there have been a small number of instances were I couldn't find what I was looking for from Fimfiction's search bar, but somehow popped up for me in a Google search even when I used the same keywords... )

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Snark still included. You really think I wouldn't...?

Personally, I'd much rather prefer if you didn't.

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Make sure at least one of them is the word "safe".

One shall never forget about this step... Otherwise, you can say goodbye to fillyhood...

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Thanks! Remember to favorite all the cute pictures, too. Then you can go back later and post 'em any time you like!

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That is important. You hafta be cautious on fimfiction, too.

You can turn "Mature" to off, but even then, there are stories ready to trick you into reading them, like this one. Everything in the description looks okay, title an' picture look fine... but what's that on the left? The story has a sex tag!

Since you can't filter out sex tags, you just hafta be pretty careful about what you read.

--Sweetie Belle

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What happens in this place on the weekends?

Oh, same as usual. It's just that there seems to have been an awful infestation of "I'm looking for this story I read once", which is significantly less cool than questions like "What stories with best pony X second-best pony would you recommend?".

Basically, people started using us as their search bar instead of, y'know, the search bar.

At least ask a different, related group. Pony-specific groups seem to only get that stuff.

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Well, may as well toss in my two cents.

The Ginger's Guide on How to Survive Sweetie Belle's Fimfic Posts

Sweetie Belle is often found roaming the forum spaces on Fimfic. Commonly referred to as the cutest filly, somehow she got trapped in a computer. Or something. The details aren't important, what is important is her cuteness and how you can deal with it!

Not that cute is bad at all. But the content of Sweetie's posts tend to contain incredibly high cute levels. A build up of cute levels in the body can lead to the following side effects:

-Excessive d'awwwing
-Inability to articulate words properly
-Excessive grinning
-Brief heart attacks

Therefore one must take caution. So here is a step by step guide to surviving her delightful posts:

1) You read the post.
2) If you have insulin handy, take a shot of it now.
3) No insulin? Problematic but not disastrous. Watch something really alpha. Like boxing. Or a CoD frag video.
4) With added alpha levels in your system, they will now balance out with the cute levels.
5) Enjoy the post as normal.

Hope this helps anyone.

Unfortunately none of this will help with the amounts of cancer that tend to be in my posts. Apologies for that.

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And that's how you make a dick-in-a-box.

4405936 Then allow me to translate my post into a snark-free dialect

Step one: click the browse button

Step two: use the search box to narrow your results with tags and other details to find a story

Step three: use your blog

Step four: ask your friends

.

It's a lot more boring if you ask me.

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Don't put any appendages in it

Christ, I've been doing it wrong all these years.

4406967 Like I said, that's my personal preference. I don't like snark because it's unnecessary and mean-spirited, but I don't expect you to change your ways anytime ever, and that's fine by me.

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Snark and sarcasm are things that can be used to mean-spirited ends, but they, themselves, are not always mean-spirited.

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Um. I have a critical deficiency of 'Alpha'. I'm a sappy idjit on a pony site.

I just have to pretty much accept the adorability and let it flow through me, to become one with it. Lest I be swept away.

Also, hush. You is the best Jake I know.

4407031 That is very much true, but that distinction gets blurred here on the internet, and it's still unnecessary to get a point across. But like I said, I'm not going to complain regardless of what Flint decides to do.

4407045 Well considering I warn people, I insert jokes that are specifically non-snarky, give actual honest advice sprinkled with humor, and then add a disclaimer at the end of the post to say it's just for humor and to not take this personally and then give even more advice on the situation (with a polite version of the point of this post), I'd say that I did my absolute best not to be too mean-spirited.

4407137 Yes, and I applaud your efforts. I'm just tired of snark altogether. Please, don't think you're doing anything wrong just because I'm a special case for this topic.

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You is the best Jake I know.

Well, ain't exactly hard when I'm the only one you know.

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I know several.

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Who are they?

I must end them.

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They are, um, anonymous people. Impossible to track and murder sorts.

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Then how do you know they are Jakes?

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Methods.

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Suggestive!

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Questionable!

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Huggable!

v

--Sweetie Belle

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Unspeakable!

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Inconceivable!

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Inconceivable is a kinda funny word, really. You see, you can't give any examples of things that are inconceivable, 'cause if you think of an example, it's not inconceivable!

It makes me think practically any time it's used, you're exaggerating.

--Sweetie Belle

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I'm surprised that this paradox hasn't fried your systems.

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Well, I decided I shouldn't think about it too hard. It looks like one of them Gödel thingys...

--Sweetie Belle

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Actually, in the search functions, if you click the "sex" tag twice, you CAN exclude it!

4406917 Sex tags (and other tags) can be filtered out, just add the tag and then click on it so it turns red. Or tap it if you're on a mobile device. Sadly, tags are mostly judgement-based (the human tag, for example, can mean actual humans, a humanized Equestria, or EQGs; while an anthro tag can mean ponies with hooves and hands fairly uncommon, but also can be for humanized equestria, equestria girls, or anything else where ponies aren't normal but still resemble the equines we obsess over know and love). So you can exclude good stories if you're too picky and include ones that aren't relevant, with mostly the former being an issue. Once a month I'll usually do a less-specific and much longer search to check for any stories that got left behind.
4405773 You should probably mention this ability in the OP.

4680024

Well, I think 14 weeks ago, when I wrote that, that I meant that you couldn't filter them from the site, the way you can just turn mature off. I'm sure you can filter it from a search.

But that was more that two months ago, so I could be misremembering.

--Sweetie Belle

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What about step 97? Annex Sweden.

4839784 Good one (Also PM BROKE)