First of all, a reminder:

So anyway, after watching some non-scrubs and some more non-scrubs make lots and lots of funnies for all the kids sitting at home, I figured I'd make a few of my own. That said, this thread is dedicated to me and any other certified pros in the group to hand out top-tier PROTIPs whenever they come across something unforgivably scrubbish on the site. No full interreviews, just a quick punch in the nut to remind all dem losers who The Best Authors are.

Let's begin:

- I cant even look at teacups anymore because they remind me of unfunny spinoffs of unfunny fanfics. Thanks Obama KitsuneRisu!

- Responding to the "semenverse" fad with fandom meme pairings. It's like fighting terrorists by shooting yourself in the face so they cant kill you...

- Next up on Rage Reviews: 90% of the text is replaced by funny pics I found on mylittlefacewhen.com, and the rest is written by someone who thinks ThatGuyWithTheGlasses is funny...

- Next up on Rage Reviews: 90% of the text is replaced by funny pics I found on mylittlefacewhen.com, and the rest is written by someone who thinks ThatGuyWithTheGlasses is funny...

Next?

It would seem that I had accidentally gone back in tiem again. In my timeline, this has been the norm for ages.

4264560
Single comment on something you wrote.

It is certified by the author that he did not in fact make a spinoff, parody, ripoff or sequel/prequel to the other teacups story.
What really happened is he was bored and was facing writing block (possibly?) and needed something funny to write, its title and description bear resemblance to the previous story but the actual story is different. That being said I have also read the stories myself and have the second author's word that the two stories are not related.

That's all I needed to say.

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i don belieb u

- the main inspiration of shortskirtsandexplosions' latest fic, pictured below:

- "The Chase" is now so long that every new chapter is just him gloating about his Patreon money. He knows noone will read that far anyway...

4264835
Lel.

I like these.

4264937

- Twilight's Library died because noone here actually reads stories, go home kthxbai

- Knighty posts site updates just so he can watch people complain about them. Even if the updates do nothing. It's his fetish...

- on august 29th, FimFic is going to changed into "FlamFic". All stories will be about the latest shitty Disney cartoon series, or Sonata Dusk eating a taco with her armpits.

- i have at least 20 fics waiting in Rage Reviews. None of them got reviewed so far because they arent shit enough for easy funnies, plus I'm not friends with Twilight-the-Pony

- Yes it is. And it's boring too. You should still read it though, ya scrubs.

- Riptiders is really funny, especially when I think that this site is broken as fuck while knighty is busy making other ones haha

4264835
I never heard of this guy/girl before. So I can't make any opinion on them, however what I said previously, "It is certified by the author that he did not in fact make a spinoff, parody, ripoff or sequel/prequel to the other teacups story," very much infact is true.

- how is babby formed? they teleport into your belly because fanfics are stupid

- using Cthulhu in a "comedy" is like "sprucing up" a meal by taking a giant shit into it

- "The Quest" was named by the same guy who directed "The Room" and helped record "The Album" along with the group of forgotten musical geniuses called "The Band". does it end in sex tho?

- it's not funny enough unless it has too many dumb and forced jokes in it

- People used JonTron to make a point? No wonder the site got DDoS'd. The internet doesn't tolerate filthy scrubs...

4264560 Holy shit this post is 100% salty.

4288745

suit urself, skrub

4289682 Please, use grammar when you're in my presence or I won't notice you.

4290130

I can't even begin to imagine what I'd be missing out on. Probably more use of "salty" in a thread where other people are making professional observations...

- why would anyone want to steal pony fanfics? thats like stealing dog turds from other peoples lawns, idiot

- stop writing. the world will thank you later

- reminder that kudzuhaiku is the best author ever because he gets paid for a neverending fanfic full of "omg so dark and br00tal" and kids farting

4290182 Considering all of your "professional observations" suck ass, I believe you're missing out on a lot.

4290838

Why are you so mean, sempai?

I even tried to read some of your fics so I could learn from a true master, but I couldn't find any. I only found a blog with lots and lots of really funny pics. Are you sure you're a best author?

4290937 I'm here to watch you bullshit and for the good reads. Not here for much more.
Not mean, just honest.

4290947

This thread is hilarious.

- Discord and Fluttershy may be friends, but not lovers. They do, however, share Vinyl and Octavia between them as sex slaves...

- this is what all your OCs are:

- caught on camera: the moment a scrub becomes self-aware

- "quantity vs quality"? more like "a polished turd is still a turd, but at least there's less of it"

- Next chapter of Project Horizons: Somber starts cutting himself and writes the story using his own blood

- right now on the front page, we have two stories about Spike and the Rarity plushie. Neither have the "sex" tag, one was written by a guy whose best friend is a thesaurus, and the other by some random scrub noone cares about. I BET THEYRE BOTH REALLY FUNNY PLZ READ THEM!!1!11!

- im pretty sure this contains a phallic joke somewhere I havent read it someone plz help

A Fragile Heart was exemplary in that it was "bitter, but not saccharine," JohnPerry said. "It's the sort of sad story I really love: one that sells its emotions without resorting to hammering you over the head with them."

(source)

- it would be if the writing didnt hold your hand the entire time, all the way to the bathroom to throw up because its dumb

- Rage Reviews tells you to shaddup if you dont talk nice to everyone, but if they are the ones who want to mock others, it's A-OKAY

Also: i cant make any more replies in a locked thread, idiot

- im organizing a fanfic contest. You have 3 weeks to write 30k words about Luna losing her anal virginity while fighting Space Nazis. Winner is the one with most dislikes. The prize is getting to kick a FiM show writer of ur choice in da crotch.

- SHAMEFUR DISPRAY

- every episode with Rainbow Dash in it sucks ass because the only thing the writers focused on is how many new funny faces they can give her

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- people dont like changeling fics because theres too many of them and the premise has been done to death. people DO like human in equestria fics for... another reason?

- if you dont wanna start your story with a weather report like a scrub, try starting it with a climate report instead. nothing pleases a reader more than ponies talking about inconvenient truths and government hoaxes

- every episode with Rainbow Dash in it kicks ass because the only thing the writers focused on is how many new funny faces they can give her

- translation: didnt u kno ur not suppoesd to attak famuos authers u fukin scrub? i am locking da thred kthxbai

- fuk u knighty, why isn't my group top of the page, above all the scrublord hideouts? thanks for the invite system tho, I'll make sure to abuse it

- you don't like what I said about your story that has talking horses in it? fite me irl u lil bitch!

- i think Princess of Edits is a pretty cool guy. eh talks in Ye Olde English and doesnt afraid of anything

- I was wondering when certain fans would be dumb enough to mistake a fan animation for the show "because it looks sooooo koool and edgy and fits muh headcannons"

- bronies love and tolerate gay ponies, but only if "gay ponies" means "hot lesbian action"