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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I will! So don't you worry!
I learned a lot during the making of chapter 28, and I hope to apply what I've learned to the next one. Also, I'm glad you are enjoying the story! I plan to start chapter 29 sometime today.
- Noakwolf
Oh no not adam
Been way too long since I was last checking in with this story, but it's good to see its still going apace and seems to be gaining momentum plot-wise. Let's see, where to start? Well this chapter and the chapter before this one both had a lot going on in them so let's hit up the highlights. First of all Big Lot. I somehow knew the second some of her servants were described as being all dressed up that we were dealing with a crazy little filly, and she certainly doesn't disappoint in that regard. Don't know what it is about children, but they make such excellent antagonists when you also make them extra crazy with a side-order of nuckin' futz. Of course family connections would be the only way someone like her would get in charge of anything, otherwise you'd have to wonder why no one wouldn't just punt the pint-sized nut case out the nearest window, but you also cover a good point in the latest chapter that certain ponies need a special brand of crazy to be in charge as well, as she demonstrated with that solider that tried to relieve her of command.
I think it would've been hilarious if Wester, when he had her at gunpoint, had decided to give her a spanking and sent her to her room. Actually the probably should've tied her up and taken her with them, as she'd make a great bargaining chip when dealing with the legion. Though I suppose no one would want to put up with the barrage of screaming and whining they'd have to listen to from her if they did that. Scooter is almost bizarrely loyal to her, you'd think she'd be more appreciative of it, given he doesn't seem to follow her out of fear but out of some oddly genuine desire to please her. I'd say he's a pony that's got nothing going for him but surviving Wester's rampage at least shows that LUK isn't Scooter's dump stat.
Vladimir's conflict with his resident parasitic shadow is cranking up, to the point that the shadow is straight up threatening to just take over his body. I'm actually kind of curious why he/she/it hasn't done that yet, since I'm not certain what the shadow needs from Vladimir in terms of cooperation. In any case Vladimir certainly has seemed to have had his fill of its influence, though what the weird machine he's using and what its supposed to do I can't guess at. I do wonder just how much of his present control of the legion was built on the actions the shadow influenced him to perform. It's pretty clear from the reactions of those under his command that his change in behavior as he becomes more lucid and conscious of his actions that Vladimir doesn't act the way they think he should. It does make me curious about what events led to him being in charge like he is now.
The Warden and his miners are a creepy bunch. Remind me of the ghost people from the Dead Money DLC in New Vegas, despite the fact that they're apparently capable of speech and all that.
The brothers arguing so much with each other at the end of the latest chapter made me wonder if some external force was affecting them or not, aside from the general wear and tear their circumstances would've put on their nerves. Not that I couldn't believe Neo and Adam could argue like that, because that's pretty normal as far as brothers go, but doing it in that particular situation, while trying to sneak away from hellhounds? I'm willing to lay bets on some other factor being present to aggravate things, as pretty much the entire party seemed like they were on their last nerves at that point. And now Adam is nabbed by raiders. Or slavers. Not sure which, actually. Little of both, maybe. Either way, violence is likely to be imminent.
Overall the biggest highlight of the last two chapters was the introduction of Big Lot as a new and fun antagonist, and seeing more of Vladimir's growing conflict with his inner shadow and how its causing faction with the faction he's supposedly in control of. There were plenty of little touches I liked, and many of the characters remained engaging. I liked the mare at Big Lot's fortress who helped the other slaves escape, though I don't recall her name at the moment, and Wester's rampage through the fort was decently done and climatic. I do feel the scenario with the hellhounds and the party being trapped in that building dragged a tad, but I can't complain much as it looks like there'll be plenty of action to come with the attempt to rescue Adam. Looking forward to it.