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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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At least it's a new cliff...
Now this is going to be interesting, but those pipbucks only pick up on detected hostile intent. You have your greatest little skill with you, acting still.
I fucking love Whisper so much. She's such a good actor, I can't even. Also, the teasing and subsequent sex scene was a lot sexier than it had any right to be. Didn't go into any detailed anatomical descriptions, yet it painted a clear picture. Never underestimate the seductive potential of a simple raised tail. Got me all hot and bothered.
Although, I kind of feel sorry for the changeling Whisper knocked out. She was about to get a good dicking and BAM: cunt-blocked by a stun spell. Granted, she was most definitely attempting to manipulate Whisper into giving more information with promises of amazing sex with her own kind. Whisper was too perfect and calm with her lying; no way the changelings didn't pick up how perfect it was.
Phenomenal chapter. Everything about it is perfect. You're such a great writer when it comes to character intimacy. It's as if I am Whisper. Easily in my top five stories on this site. Easily.
PS: Whisper will never hear the end of it if Starlight finds out what she did to catch the changeling interrogator off-guard. Let's hope Starlight is understanding. But given that Whisper almost definitely enjoyed herself while it was happening (and who can blame her?), that understanding may be beyond Starlight.
PSS: Considering this hive is an enemy hive (given they are decended from Chrysalis), I have a bad feeling that those balefire eggs might just get some use. And I don't think it will be truly intentional on Whisper's part, but something that just happens due to a series of unfortunate events (I swear that wasn't intential). Such a shame, considering how happy everyling seems to be; ignoring that their happiness relies on the enslavement of dozens of sapient beings. But hey! Every society has their flaws.
Yay! A update! Can't wait to see what happens next!
God damn Whisper is a god liar. Such a smooth transition, making lies on the spot to seducing/being "seduced" by the queen.
That being said, I have to say that I almost feel sorry for the queen. She was so solidly distracted and eager for a good rutting and then she gets knocked right the hell out. Also, that was incredibly erotic and I was not expecting such a scene in this story at this point, at least but you sure as hell managed it.
I...frankly, I hope Whisper finds a nonviolent solution to this. She's found her fellow changelings and to top it off they don't seem horrible-yes they talked about euthanizing Sickle, but to be perfectly fair Sickle is a terrifying pony to begin with and it's very easy to fall into an us vs them mentality in this sort of situation. In fact, they seem a hell of a lot nicer than the average Wasteland settlement.
God this story is so good. Always kills me a little when I finish the chapter and have to wait for the next one.
I'm tempted to write out of list of every individual lie she made there. There were quite a lot of them.
7875958 Whisper is seduced -- purposefully on Whisper's part -- by Ocelli, not the queen. If it was the queen, Whisper might be a bit more optimistic. Royal hostages make great bargaining chips.
Other than that, I agree with your comment. What the changelings are doing is necessary to survive. How else would they gather enough love in a love devoid wasteland to keep thousands of changelings alive? I love how gray this story is.
Hol-E SHIET! We have a breakthrough, some clop, the mindfuckery land as a concept, Popsicle crushing the system yet again and the most satisfying ending to a porn scene I read scince last Tuesday!
This is the part which we all saw coming and waiting for. The lingception. Chrysalis the 666 is a nice touch. Sicle beeing relised is propably the most obvious try at running away, so I think it's some way to undermine the queen. Dominating to take over might be a thing in Phoenix_Dragon-verse, killing her or discredit her. The hive seems all too happy for a society that soon will lash out to war, so I presume the field operations are kept out of public eyes, if you know what I'm pointing out...
Last alternative I can see is Whisper waiting for the offensive to start so the warriors will get out and then stage a breakout. Doing it on the go seems idiotic and wouldn't give us esposition of the hive itself. And Sicle rushing B on the hive will certainly glorious.
Dat Ocelli tho... she would be a good ship with Dusty. I also just realised Sicle reminded me of my ex-girfriend. She's just older, not call people who love her a monsters and will give up a heads-up of beeing 14 before it becomes a 3-year internet romance.
Ocelli wanted the SUCC, but instead she got knocked the fuck out. I feel kinda bad for her. Would have been great SUCC.
7876065 Use their abilities, their inherent unity, and the blank slate created by Equestria's destruction to build the world back up into a place that's filled with love and where they don't need to hide themselves?
...nah.
7876329 Easier said than done. Anyone can come up with potential solutions, but very rarely can a solution be executed.
Cliff edge to cliff edge, we do travel. Totally didn't see this turn of events, though. Almost seems like it could be an awesome place for Whisper, if her friends weren't arguably screwed over by all this. Almost seems like one of the better places everyone could be given the wasteland's hospitality. Still. Really looking forward to seeing how this whole mess gets sorted out, haha. Whisper really seems in over her head here, especially now that she's knocked someone out. Hm.
Lovely chapter, by the way. ♥
Literally
Although I wouldn't sell her chances short. Here's a fully trained pre-war infiltrator amongst a hive of post-apocalypse 'lings. I think she has a distinct advantage.
So this is an interesting quandary. Whisper has to disguise herself from an entire hive armed with EFS. Which...might actually be possible since she's not exactly hostile to the hive, just its leader. And she can disguise herself a bit by hanging out in the zoology area where the fauna is already hostile.
Depending on how the biology works in this story though, the changelings might be hosed in the long run. That queen's got to go, but ascension may or may not be possible.
Wow! And i was expecting 100k words of hitting the bushes before reaching the hive! Color me surprised and pleased.
Now she only need an empty orange box and she will be in Monkey Island in no time xD
Sooooo....she's gonna gonna call her alicorn friend right? X3
7877079 I know, it's not as long winded as the other FO:E fics... Although I find myself wondering the deal with the Alicorn.
Could she be the outside help Whisper needs?
7875811
Imagine if Sickle hears of that.
"Fucking hell, Whimper, you fucked her up with a spell, while fucking her?!"
7876792
What if she become a new Queen?
So much potential for clop. So many teased boners.
7877430 au contrier, it is getting quite long. Just that i am not able to foresee the direction of the narrative as good as in the other fics. What I appreciate a lot!
Alicorn? What alicorn?
7877882 The one we were seeing quite often for a while. We seemed to have shaken her off though.
Me through the chapter: Oh Whisper... you're so goooood, you're making me hot all over!
The ending: Oh Whisper... You done *#$(ed up now! And you were doing so well!
Love how you adapted Tranquility Lane to the story, pure genius
Good to see somebody upholding Chryssie's ideals, I hope they succeed, though I fear Whisper is going to fuck it all up for them. After all, she already responded to their kindness in letting her stay by betraying and knocking out one of them. I suppose she will justify wiping the entire hive or something with the safety of her friends, even if it was them that stuck their noses where they shouldn't have.
time for whisper to call 1-800-alicorn and get some reinforcements, because she's going to have a hard time doing this solo
Well that was certainly a surprise, I'd bet there's at least a few changelings there who'd either be pro or at least neutral to a change in command. Now Whisper just has to figure out how to pull off an escape/coup by herself.
I reviewed chapter 1 for my weekly Fallout: Equestria fanfic review:
Review
7890264
Changelings make everything better!
(Also, sorry about killing sorta-you. Nothing personal, promise! )
I was like Whisper I know you are playing them so what is you real plan. Was surprised to see Whisper knock out Ocelli so early into things. Very interested to see how Whisper works her way out of this. I am thinking heavy dose of Sickle and a little dose of Balefire eggs probably do.
7890362
Indeed, indeed they do. ^.^
(Oh of course not, *snorts* at least now I know that remnants of my hive seem to have survived, with our Chrysalis the sixth! *cackles*)
But yeah! All caught up now, and almost wish I wasn't as now I have to wait for the next chapter! Been working at this bit by bit and just wow, so much happening! LOVED this chapter! *cough* Of course I would, being we get so many new changelings.... *cough* *cough* and my supposed predecessor *cough*...
Whisper was such a great actress in this chapter, she even had me fooled for awhile, thinking some other changeling mind meddling had addled her into thinking differently, then WHAM~! We get that ending with her knocking out Ocelli when all she wanted was a good time (mentioning such, excellent job at pushing that erotic barrier without going so far as to need to change the rating of the story. I can tell from the other comments I'm not the only one that got a little 'excited' from the scene.)
7875811
This. This exactly. Totally in my top five favorite writers on site! And easily in my top ten stories on site.
Genuinely made an account so i could comment this but it was worth it.
I have been a fan of FOE for a while now and have read to my knowledge all of the good side stories, Horizons, Murky, Heroes, and a few lesser known and lesser quality ones too, and i must say your writing skill, character depth and description, combat, and even your ability to set a scene are in my opinion just as good as the big 3 i just mentioned and i am enjoying this story just as much as i did with those stories when i first read them.
A good FOE side fic is hard to find these days so Please Please Please keep up the good work, with time i think this story could become very popular.
Looking forwards to the next chapter
iforgotmyaccountnameUhhhhh....
Ah. That. Quite an obvious reference
...because they're extracting it, probably
Ah yes. "Strawberry".
Didn't take her long, lol. Why hasn't the management of the place decided she's a lost cause yet?
Damn right. I'd say, go and talk to her. Just to get your head back into reality. Talking with someone who isn't constantly agreeing with the brainwashing probably helps.
Ah, yey. Let's see how they respond
Called it
Well, crap. Not the original, obviously, but any legacy from that creature is bad news
Seems Whisper agrees on that.
I seriously hope she's just acting, here. You got ponies to save, Whisper!
Not really true, heh. They died because they were hit by a megaspell
Dutifully lying through her teeth
Would be hilarious if the other changeling just gave her a flat stare at the end and was like "not a word of that is true, is it?" And then Whisper would be all offended and be like "hey, I resent that. The cocoon part was totally true."
But of course she has
Hey, she tried to rape you with the best of intentions!
Oooh. That's quite a risk. The first unguarded situation and you take advantage of it? That might be a test you just failed
Well, except Sickle. Fairly sure she realizes.
Indeed. I mean, I know why she acted now, with Sickle's life on the line, but maybe that wasn't the smartest choice.
Then again, none of us would forgive you for giving Sickle such a lame death
7926740
I blame Kkat for planting the seed of that one Back when I was working out the finer details of the story, when it was more of a concept than an actual storyline, Kkat posted a blog about changelings in the wasteland, and one of the ideas mentioned was changelings using a scheme like Tranquility Lane to keep ponies. While that didn't fit for the character I was envisioning, it did stir up some thoughts other changelings, and eventually led to the creation of Serenity. Even just by bringing up other possibilities for changelings, it led me to think on things that quickly fleshed out the basic concept into something more closely resembling a story.
Probably also the most direct reference I'll be making in this story, heh.
It's a little sad, and probably much more than a little scary, that that's absolutely true...
On the one hand, I do like subverting expectations, and I'm sure I could do some amusing narrative tricks with a powerful, tough character being taken out in such an unfair way...
...but on the other, my torch-and-pitchfork insurance is expired, so maybe I won't.
"Remember: a non lethal takedown is always the most silent takedown!"
Whisper 'bout to try soloing this mission on iron man!
I just re-read the chapter and still have no clue whatsoever how Whisper's going to get her and her friends out of this precarious situation. If she played along, maybe -- maybe -- she could have convinced the changelings to release her friends into her care as personal playthings (or whatever), but I don't think they would have let that fly. Additionally, that kind of gambling wouldn't be Whisper's style.
So, as much as I hate to say it, Whisper's seemingly reckless course of action is the path with the least uncertainty. Anything else would have placed the outcome in the house's favor, leaving Whisper at their mercy. And as I have come to know through your outstanding characterization skills, Whisper would not stand for that.
What a terrible ultimatum, regardless.
'chuckle' and 'tilted', respectively.
you especially
7926740 Sickle most especially
...this remind you of anything? Like pre-nuked Nuketown?
or is it just the surreality that this scene paints?
I hope she still knows she is a chngeling. 'd be one fucked up day to accidently Shapeshift right in front of your 'neighbor'.
I just love how her personality still shines under the darkness they put over her.
it tells a lot about her pure personlity, unbothered by any past. It tells us exactly how she is as a changeling.
Well somepony is having a bad morning.
woke up on the wrong side of the bed?...or the right one?
Here, take the blue pill and see how deep the rabbit hole goes.
It'll be fiiiine. The dots show up in red and green. Maybe all the changelings in the hive are colorblind? I mean, Ocelli actually had to look in the same direction Whisper was to know what she was talking about with the zoology department, they might be. You never know.
"We are completely fucked"
....you think!?
Xd
Kinda reminds me of the institute.
8412901
They can't mess up your mind, if your mind is messed up already.
Upon completing this chapter: BWHAHAHAH!! Oh gosh I loved all of this with the changelings revealed and my suspicions confirmed, but oh gosh that chapter ending to deal with Ocelli and I just hear Sickle in my head going "That's cold."
I am onto you Phoenix, I know what you did there, walking us down Tranquility Lane in the hopes that we don't catch onto what happens... You brought yourself a new hat! In a more serious note, you really hit the head on the nail with the warm and fluffy and ohh so jolly setting, so sad seeing it break so quickly so we the reader never get to question if Whisper and the gang will break out of it or not, and instead just sit there wondering how long it will take. Like... beside her sleep have it been what... a 2 minutte walk trough time and the gig is already up. As said I really like what you did, perfect fallout 3 flashback, taking me a few seconds to figure out what there were going on, but anything atmosphere is best when it is a slow build-up, not a quick reveal. Sure I could see how some could find it annoying that they figured it out before Whisper and Starlight did, but at times are there no better feeling than sitting and yelling at a book that you have figured it out, and they better watch out, the guy with the axe is right behind the next door!
Nitpick:
"Strawberry would have never tried to kill me," YOu need a switch around here
10564766
About your nitpick:
Iam sure Phoenix would comment how its a quirk of the english language.... (as they have done so before in other cases)
But it does work either way around.
As a foreign speaker Iam often amazed how sometimes simple and sometimes just utterly stupid the English language can be.
:shrug: