• Member Since 2nd Feb, 2012

Honey Mead


"In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant." Well for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant.

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Total Words: 24,650,722
Estimated Reading: 9 weeks

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T

Being somepony's friend can require accepting the... quirkier parts of their personality: something Rarity is all too aware of, especially when it comes to the work involved in accepting hers. So discovering that Fluttershy possesses -- shall we say, a 'special interest' -- simply means that the designer needs to accompany her to the convention. Just to make sure the pegasus isn't going to get hurt.

But a mare of dignity and taste does not casually wander into a 'special interest' gathering and emerge unaffected. And as it happens, neither does Rarity.

Rated C for Conifer Crackfic.


(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (1)
T

With proper care, thought, and some attention given to what the recipient might actually want, just about anypony could purchase a well-planned Hearts & Hooves Day gift. But to make it work when you're down to the last few hours, after having indulged in none of the previous requirements to the point where ignorance has become its very own art...

...well, to find the perfect gift under those circumstances would take a very special pony indeed.

And if Rainbow's anything, she's special.


(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (1)
E

The birth of cinema created multiple additional industries, along with inspiring a fleet of new marks. In particular, there's a need for sound design, and Foley Artist stands ready to bring the natural beats of the outside world into the enclosed studios. And when a recording session for Canterlot's streets just happens to record the most distinctive scream ever... well, what kind of pony would Foley be if he didn't share it with the entire planet? After all, sound belongs to the people.

To the people. Not to a person. That would just be silly.

But that scream has a source. A fast-approaching, very unhappy source. And she has so many more sounds to share...


(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Art from a vector capture by AJDiSpirito. Title suggested by Sanguine Potato.

Chapters (1)
T

This story is a sequel to Monsoon Season


When you're a filly, there isn't much point to seeing Homecoming as a holiday. Apple Bloom knows exactly how it works: you have to clean everything, make a big meal, there's a lot of adults talking around the dinner table -- so it's basically like every other day, except with extra chores and special plates. Homecoming is when you're supposed to be with your closest family, and she lives with them. She doesn't wait for Homecoming so much as she waits to get through it, or just... waits.

On Homecoming, you seek out your closest family.
Babs is spending Homecoming on the Acres.
Why?


(Part of the Triptych Continuum, which has its own TVTropes page and FIMFiction group. New members and trope edits welcome.)

Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Cover art by GroaningGreyAgony.

Chapters (12)
T

There are certain issues involved with having Philomena as a pet. Giving the entire palace staff permission to take a swat at the bird if it tries anything? Has solved none of them. The phoenix is still trolling everypony, happily setting off pony tempers (and the occasional fire alarm) without a care in the world. The swats just aren't working.

Maybe a few murders will do the trick.

...or, given that it's Philomena, Celestia might have to go just a little further.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Rated C for Crackfic.

Chapters (1)
T
Source

It really isn't Twilight's fault. She certainly didn't intend those exact results and given everything else which was happening at the time, there was no chance to fix it! Besides, it was just reasonable to expect that Ponyville's natural tendencies would solve things on their own. Probably without even noticing, and most likely with a squish.

But that clearly didn't happen. Because when it comes to that particular experiment's aftermath, the worst-case scenario just came through.

Fluttershy knows about the frog.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages. Cover art render created by Clawed-Nyasu.)

Rated C for vitamins Crackfic.

Chapters (1)
T

There are things which Applejack just knows in her heart, and chief among them is that Strawberry Sunrise is one of the worst ponies ever to fly slightly above the surface of the planet. She can see no reason whatsoever for the pegasus to have that greenhouse, the produce stand which has never been touched by Sun, and who can even figure out where her money comes from? There's no point to that mare's existence. None whatsoever.

That's Applejack's honest opinion. The truth is somewhat different.

Some customers only come out under Moon.

Welcome back to Crackfic Week.


(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages. Cover art originally created by rosesAREgreen.)

Chapters (1)
E
Source

Every so often, you just have to stop and take in the scenery -- or at least find a place where you can develop some photos of it. Snap Judgment's been out of Equestria for a few years, and he's just a little behind on the news. Renting an incredibly cheap piece of land near the border of Ponyville, so he'll have a place to park his home/caravan/darkroom without issues... that just makes sense. And it's so pretty out here. Maybe he'll even find a place to settle down.

Or maybe, once he learns exactly why that land was so cheap, he can get a decent head start.

Nopony lives near the cottage. There are a few reasons for that. And sometimes, they come visiting.


(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages. Cover art by Dipi11, used with credit under open permission.)

Chapters (1)
E

It's almost unheard of for a mission to wrap up that quickly, and nopony's scheduled to retrieve them for three days. Which means Twilight and Applejack can use just that time in the griffon nation to -- play tourist! Check out some of the local attractions! And just spend a few uninterrupted non-crisis days together, because that hardly ever happens. So before they decide what to do first, they should clearly consult the local weather schedule --

-- forecast?
What's a...

...surely they'll be able to adjust. Or at least be capable of telling the police why they couldn't.

(Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.)

Chapters (1)
E

Petty Power fully understands the responsibility of being a luggage inspector: he's there to make sure nopony brings anything onto the zeppelin which could interfere with Profit. And those nasty rumors about a potential sabotage attempt? Those have to be ignored, because nervous passengers don't board. Less ponies, less profit. Easy. And here's a group of young mares waiting to pass his checkpoint. Inflicting them with Rules and Regulations should be simple.

Petty is mere hours away from losing his job and leaving Equestria forever. But realistically, he probably deserves it.



Now with author Patreon and Ko-Fi pages.

Chapters (1)