Hi. I’m Anon. Your run of the mill asshole. A proud one at that. When I came to this world, the princesses didn’t expect much. Then, they saw how I was good at picking up mistakes. So, they made me a functioning person in society. A mostly pony society. Ponies and other creature would be expecting to be welcomed by a warm hearted pony. Instead, they got me.

(Papers Please does not belong to me, but there isn’t a tag for it. Sex tag is for references to sex)

Cover Art by me.
Here’s the sequel. People like it for some reason.

In the dead of night, a forest fire wreaks havoc on the Green Mountains. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, having been at the right place at the right time, are valiantly fighting it. The fire, however, refuses to be quelled.

Before the two are able to fetch help from nearby towns, they hear the crying call of something that is in trouble. Something big. Something fast. A sound that could only be one thing.

The Haunting Wail of a Steam Train.

This story did not explode! What a relief and/or letdown.

Part of OPERATION CRACKFIC STORM 2024 ( group | stories ).

Thanks to Silk Rose for coming up with the idea, writing chapters 22 and 9, and developing the code; thanks also to Meadowsys for general code help.

Thanks to IrradiatedPirateBooty ( tumblr ) for the awesome character art.

And thanks to everyone in the comments who stuck around for the final countdown!

The Cutie Mark Crusaders test the urban legend of writing to Princess Celestia at 3am. Everything goes wrong.

May you find many wonderfully atrocious grammar errors, if there are any o.o.

Twilight and Don invent a scale that determines where on the evolutionary cycle ponies fall. Some like their results more than others.

Inspiration sauce: Shydale

Featured 5/28/20!
and
With a reading by StraightToThePointStudios!

A human is running Ponyville's first, heavily filtered, connection to the internet. It's only a matter of time before the ponies break through… and find out the truth.

Now with a dramatic reading by LandonWho!

Czech translation by Keranis

The global dust storm of a century, the dying message of an indomitable robot, and a unicorn who just can’t let go of a mystery.

(Now with a dramatic reading by Skijaramaz - Tone Shift.)
(Russian translation available at ponyfiction.org.)

Everywhere I went, I hear people telling me, Hey! Living in Canterlot is just freaking awesome! It is a wondrous and magnificent city. It is the city where all your dreams can come true, and that it is also a place where true love can be easily found. It is also a city wher---

Please stop with the cowpoop.

There is no such thing as dreams becoming reality, nor is true love actually real. It is all fantasy, made-up, a fiction that plenty of people wishes it to be fact.

Complete and utter cowpoop. That sums up my life too. Cow--freaking--poop. My life sucks.

This is set in the Equestria Girls universe, after Rainbow Rocks.

The star system Omega Centauri was just another oddity on a map to scientists in the not too distant future. However when they found the star was orbiting an earth-sized, earth-like planet instead of a black hole as its motion had suggested, a mission was scrambled to investigate this most unusual of celestial behaviors.

Hamstrung by politics, and nearly crippled before it began, the 'Lone Ranger' mission was reduced to just one crew member and left to his own devices.

These are the logs of Arrow 18 and its lone commander. This information is classified TOP SECRET by the Global Space Agency.

Do NOT tell the princess.

After being exposed to radiation and misfiring age spells, Trixie was forced to relive her foalhood in the care of a mysterious, possibly insane, stallion who claims to be from another planet. Now that he's gone, Trixie will have to make her own way using the skills he taught her and a few pieces of otherworldly technology.

This story is rated M for machine gun.