Apprentice Chapter 16 Rewrite preview

The Apprentice, the Student, and the Charlatan Chapter 15 is being split in two. I don't think I've made this a secret, but in case it was, here's it being made public. I'm about 15% into rewriting these two chapters, so it's gonna be a while before they're released. May even get another chapter of Last Bow out before these.

Basically, the number of things I wanted to do with it made me recognize it needed to be separated into two halves so we didn't get another 25,000-word megachapter. The first chapter basically is a 1:1 retelling of Chapter 15 as it was when it first came out. The new Chapter 16 is going to feature more romantic moments between Nova and everyone, as well as do a better job of showing Nova actually enjoying his time in the past, before ending with pretty much the same scene I added back in 2016 at the very end.

Anyway, preview after the page break.

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Nova stared down at the board, carefully considering his next move.  His opponent sat opposite him, smiling in that way she always did when she wanted to come off as unreadable.  It wasn’t quite the perfected Queenly Mask she would wear in over a thousand years, but Princess Celestia was still very good at hiding her intentions behind a grin.

He had an array of pawns, none advanced beyond the third row, both of his rooks, a single knight, a single bishop, his queen, and his king castled.  Princess Celestia, meanwhile, was playing a far more offensive game.  Her own queen was advanced far up the left side of the board, diagonally adjacent to his dark-square bishop, threatening his king.  She had fewer pawns and no knights, but she still had both bishops and both rooks, while her king sat safely in the far row behind a pair of pawns.

“We don’t believe you have many options left,” Princess Celestia observed, gripping her queen in her magic and sliding it one space sideways, taking one of his pawns.  “You’re quite penned in, as it stands.”

“I was never one for chess,” Nova replied, taking his queen with a diagonally-adjacent pawn, “but I’m pretty sure trading a queen for a bishop is something more favorable for me.”

The Royal Lounge, a recently-completed room by the castle construction crew, was a room available to precisely four ponies:  Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Nova Shine, and Clover the Clever.  Any others would only be allowed in at their personal request.  There were several bookcases, each filled with tome upon tome, an eating table, reclining couches, a hearth, and a gaming table, which he and the princess were making use of.

“Oh, We weren’t talking about the game, although you’re quite penned in there as well,” Princess Celestia observed, using her white-space bishop to take his remaining knight.  Her grin turned into a smirk.  “As We understand it, you have several mares vying for your affections now.  We wonder, Sir Night Apprentice,” she fixed him with a knowing look, “how long do you intend to dance around them all, avoiding their pursuits and remaining tantalizingly single?  Check, by the way.”

Nova frowned, taking his king and moving it diagonally around his dark-space bishop, out of the path of her white-space bishop that had an opening.

“You too, huh?” he arched an eyebrow at her.

“Us too, what?” Princess Celestia shifted her head, still smirking at him in that devilish way like she was clearly planning something.  Nova couldn’t tell if it was in the game, or in this conversation.

“Trying to pry into my love life,” he grunted.  “Lord Star Swirl did it a few days back when I was helping with the ghast in his tower.  Now you’re doing it.  Any particular reason?”

“Because you are quite the attractive commodity,” she replied matter-of-factly, moving one of her rooks from staring down his own castled rook to now putting his king in check again.  “Intelligent, powerful, skilled, you do not neglect your physical exercise, and you are quite attractive.  We have no doubt that if you were to attempt to court any mare in Equestria, they would accept immediately.  Yet you do not.  Why?  Check.”

Nova moved his dark-space bishop to block her rook.

“I have my reasons.  Though, if there’s one thing I’ve learned from you,” he glanced up from the board to give her a pointed look, “you are always deliberate in the way you word things.”

Princess Celestia’s smile widened for half-an-instant.

“So, when you say I could attempt to court any mare in Equestria and they would throw themselves at me immediately,” he rested his elbows on the edge of the table, pressed his hooves together, and rested his chin on them, giving Celestia what he hoped was an equally-unreadable expression, “are you trying to pair me with someone in particular?  Because I notice you didn’t rule out your sister.”

Princess Celestia’s smile widened for a full instant this time.  She looked down at the board, picked up her dark-space bishop, and took the bishop he had just blocked her rook with.

“Does it surprise you?” she asked, now not meeting his eye.  “You were the first pony since Lord Star Swirl to show her proper attention.  You were honest and pure with your intentions, and of course, you offered her the companionship she so desperately craved.  She makes a great effort not to show it when she is teaching you, We have seen it firsthoof, but she is quite fond of you.”

Nova frowned at that.  He knew it was a possibility.  Clover herself had wondered this exact same thing back in the crystal caves, after all.  It was only natural that Luna would develop a crush on him for providing exactly the emotional support she needed.  The problem was, he was trying not to attract this kind of attention from any other mares.

Especially ones he was close to in his own time.  It was going to make things awkward.

Nova moved his castled rook forward a few spaces, deliberately putting it in the firing line of her own advanced rook and her white-space bishop.

“What about you?” he asked, feeling a little on the mischievous side.  “You did say any mare, and you didn’t disclude yourself.  Princess Celestia,” he placed a hoof on his breast, with a faux-shocked and embarrassed expression, “are you trying to ask me to ask you if I can court you?”

Princess Celestia tittered, but thankfully, she took the bait.

“Ah, see, this is why We like you, Nova Shine.”  She took his rook with her own.  “You don’t shy away from Our teasing.  In fact, you engage it.  Hmm…” she tilted her head to one side, and then the other, staring at the board in front of them.  “Very well.  No, Nova Shine.  We are not attempting to manipulate you into asking to court Us.”

Wel, I suppose that’s a load off my shoulders.

“However, if you were to ask Us, We would quite happily accept.”

Dammit.

Nova took her rook with his pawn.  His defenses were gone.  It wouldn’t be long before she had him mated.

“Truthfully,” she stared down at the board now, no doubt well aware of her impending victory, “the only reason We have not pounced on you Ourselves is because it is plain as day that you are interested in other mares.  We have Our flaws, Nova Shine, but We are not selfish enough to try and sabotage romance for Our own gain.  That being said,” her smirk turned downright predatory, “were you immortal, as We and Our sister are, We would have openly pursued you, regardless of whom it was you had eyes for, even if they were for Our own sister.”

She moved her white-space bishop one row further forward, putting it level with the king and cutting off any backdoor escape.

“That sounds like you are selfish enough to interfere in romance,” Nova moved his queen diagonally forward to the right by two spaces.  “Check.”

Princess Celestia moved her king into the far corner, out of harm’s way.  “You are mortal, Nova.  You deserve to spend your life happy with whomever you choose.  But if you were immortal, such as Us, well… We too deserve a happy life, with whomever we choose.  If you did not choose Us in return, then…” she gestured at the game board, “as you can see, We like long games, and courtship is, if nothing else, one long game.”

It was Mate in 1.  There were only so many moves Nova had left, but they would all be equally futile..  He took one of Princess Celestia’s pawns with his queen, a small consolation prize.

“And on the topic of courtship,” her smirk lowered to a frown, “We advise that you had best choose your preferred mare soon, Nova Shine.  Between Summer, and Clover, less likely Luna or Ourself, and far less likely Shimmer, you have three mares openly vying for you, and another two quietly waiting for their opportunity.  The sooner you make your choice, the sooner this potential problem goes away.”

She moved her dark-space bishop from the left side of the board down to the bottom row, his backline.  His king was exposed to her rook again, and all avenues of escape were cut off by her bishops.

“Discover check,” she said with a satisfied manner of finality.  “And incidentally…” she reached forward and toppled his king with a flick, “Mate.”

“You know,” Nova grinned as the king piece rolled along the board for a moment, before precariously wobbling near the edge, “I’ve just noticed, you haven’t been calling me by ‘Thou’, ‘Thee’, and ‘Thy’ this whole time.”

“Why yes,” Princess Celestia stood up off of her cushion and began to trot toward the room’s entry, off to resume her duties after this fun little distraction.  “You see, Nova Shine, those pronouns are used to address inferiors and subordinates, not equals.”

“Except I’m your sister’s personal apprentice,” Nova frowned.  “I’m pretty sure that’s the textbook definition of subordinate.”

“In public?  Perhaps,” she conceded, “but in private?  We have considered you an equal since the day Luna appointed you as her student.  Not in rank, this is true, but in Our opinion.  Which, if We do say so Ourself, is far more valuable.”

She trotted out of the room, turning just momentarily to give him a wink before she was out of view.  Nova stared after her for several moments, before shaking his and smiling to himself.

That mare… he thought, with a small smile to himself.  Still, she had a point.  Perhaps it was getting close to time to just put all of the romantic escapades to bed.