Site Post » Reviews Round 3! · 5:16am Nov 14th, 2012
WD Note: Sorry for the late post, entirely my fault!
STORY 1
Roots, by LittleSallyDigby
“He was an Apple.
“He held down the fort.
“That’s all.
Roots, more than anything, is a story about McIntosh, and it’s a damn good one at that. On the surface it may seem like a story about the Apple family as a whole, about how they've been a part of Equestria's history as long as it's had a history, but underneath that, it's about McIntosh and how he grows up to become the stallion we see in the show, and it is both a heartwarming, and humbling story. If Applejack is the loyalest and most dependable of ponies, then McIntosh is the humblest and most stoic of ponies. That pull-quote up there, yeah, that one right there, sums up his character in the most succinct way possible, just the way he would've liked it. However, that quote isn't even about McIntosh, it's about his ancestor, Apple Cinnamon, but it foreshadows so perfectly McIntosh's feelings at the end of the fic. I cannot even begin to describe how much I loved the ending of Roots.
Let's imagine for a second that Roots is a tree (irony). If that were true then McIntosh would be the trunk, and all of his family, past and present, make up the branches and, you guessed it, the roots. And the yoke, the yoke passed down for generations, is the seed. Once the Apple in possession of the yoke dies, or hands it down to the next generation, it sprouts a new tree with new roots and new branches. Each of these “trees” ends up with deeper and deeper roots and more and more branches as the Apple family grows. And it is perhaps that aspect that I love the most about Roots. The sheer size of the Apple family tree, and the strength of its roots, is nothing short of impressive. I applaud LittleSallyDigby with all of my heart for the astounding world-building displayed in Roots. Even more impressive though, you never feel lost when reading about this ever-expanding family, and each connection feels meaningful. One Apple's decisions and actions directly affect the next in line, either by encouraging them to be everything they can be, or instilling a sense of duty in them. Having just watched Cloud Atlas recently, and being disappointed by the lack of meaning in each characters' connections to their past and future selves, I can say that Roots, surprisingly, does a better job of this and in less than 3 hours.
Seriously you guys, go read Roots; it's well worth your time.
(pst, LittleSallyDigby, tone down the accents next time, though. They can get a little silly)
Equestria has always been a happening place, full of memorable creatures and vibrant personalities. You're never quite certain what's going to happen when you tune in for a new episode, and that's a good thing; the dynamic potential of the universe is one of its greatest draws.
Roots is a creative story with an extravagant imagination. In its flights of fancy, it does more than justice to Equestria—it takes the reader on a wild journey through its history, as seen through the eyes of the many generations of the Apple family that watched it unfold, and delivers a meaningful story with a message.
Roots's most obvious asset is its worldbuilding. The diversity of situations and characters it presents is remarkable for a story of only 11,000 words. Some of the world elements are shown straightforwardly, while others are merely hinted at or left for the reader to piece together. There are even traces of—le gasp!—ambiguity. Meanwhile, the world seems to have been painstakingly constructed to emphasize the main character's development. Over the course of the story, the reader watches Big Mac grow into an adult and learn about his purpose in life, and this development is actually the fic's central thread. This is important, for it distinguishes Roots from many other fics that try to tell awesome-sounding stories about life in Equestria. For all its entertaining flourishes, Roots is a character story at heart, as fiction should be. It is a story with a heart, written for people with hearts, with an ending that will go straight to your heart.
I recommend Roots to everyone who isn't violently allergic to written Apple family accents.
This is one of the most fulfilling Big Mac stories I have ever read. No, this is not an exaggeration. Yes, I’m aware that there aren’t that much Big Mac stories, but my later gushing should remedy that slant quickly enough.
The new episode has sparked a reasonable amount of debate on what to think of King Sombra. The million-dollar question, at least as I see it, is: what makes a character? Roots suggests that it is the choices one makes, and Big Mac’s choice does not come easy. The fic is in fact several stories through history, bound together by lineage; each entry is the tale of either Big Mac’s predecessors, or that of Big Mac himself. While the heavy accent crimps the presentation, one gets used to it fairly quickly, and you can never be too sure what the next tale is about - think The Pendragon Adventure in bite sizes, with 70% less teenage angst*. Because if anything, the Apples are a most admirable bunch, and they do not whine, as tempted as they might be to, or as justified as circumstances have made it out to be. None of the incidents dealt with are shoddy; the author shows commendable effort in thinking through and thinking up so many unique issues for the Apples to face.
However, amidst the grand retellings of agents past, this story is faithfully Big Macintosh’s, and never loses its focus on him. It examines his growth, his thoughts, his insecurities, and how he deals with them, in the unassuming, quiet way that is his trademark trait. Nothing is ever capitalized or drawn out for feels or for impact; the author lets the words speak for themselves, and as such, achieves amazing depth, especially more so if you try to put past and present together for comparison. Behold the power of understatement! The ending is what makes this not good, but great; it clinches everything together, and I was choking slightly when it hit. It’s a story of how you do not need to use magic, shoot lasers out of your eyes and be from outer space to be someone. It’s a story of how just because we aren’t responsible for the fate of the world, you and I matter all the same.
*Statistics from the Department of Lookit’sjustajokeokay
“You're not taking my wings,” she whispered to herself. “No one is taking my wings.”
Lookee here, we got another sadfic for—hey! Where're you going? Come back! Shoot, looks like the [Sad] tag mighta scared some readers off. Well, for those of you that are left, let me just say that No One is Taking My Wings isn't really a sadfic, despite how it might try and present itself, rather, it is actually closer to a tragedy, though without all that messy “everyone you know is dying!” stuff.
At its core, Wings is about a character-driven origin story for the author's Wingbury Academy antagonist. Taken as that, it's fairly well-executed story and certainly an entertaining read. Unfortunately, when looked at in a vacuum, it loses some of its meaning. It becomes a mildly melodramatic story about an unlucky pony with an unfortunate past, and an uncertain future. Now, don't take that to mean that I didn't like Wings, far from it, in fact. I actually loved Wings a heck of a lot more than my co-reviewers, and that's not entirely due to my love of its narrative style, nor my love for Roseluck. As you may see in the other two reviews, the way Wings handled it's story-telling was met with mixed emotions. Some disliked the rather melodramatic conversation Roseluck was having with Rainb some mysterious pony, but I, on the other hand, loved it. Make of that what you will.
I feel like there isn't much to say about Wings; it's a short, enjoyable, but ultimately unsubstantiated, fic, but it deserves your attention if for no other reason than my favorite character, The Doctor. He is one of the most genuinely evil characters I've seen in a non-[Dark] ponyfic in a long time, and the final scene with him is easily my favorite from the fic. While Wings may not end up in the Seattle's Angels Hall of Fame, it will undoubtedly at least have an honorable mention championed by me.
No One Is Taking My Wings is a flawed but enjoyable read. Roseluck, a pegasus, has a chronic muscular disease that affects her wings and makes it painful and difficult for her to fly. The plot is about the effects that this disease has on her life, the troubles it causes her, and how she attempts to cope with them.
It's pretty fast-paced, as the story is mostly action and dialogue, and it held my attention throughout. Another point of strength is that there are at least three plots. While perhaps none of them are developed to their fullest potential, given Wings's relatively short length (9.5k words), the intricacy certainly kept it from getting boring. The story is told in a somewhat unconventional manner: a series of 'flash-forwards' punctuate the tale, and while these sections are hit-and-miss when considered individually, occasionally lapsing into morose expressions of regret that fall flat, their cumulative effect lends the story a bit of mystique and is a positive. The ever-evolving relationship between Roseluck and Rainbow Dash, while not incredibly deep, is also not so very shallow, and this relationship and the story's action work together synergistically as an organic whole to deliver a unified narrative.
Yet, I feel a bit silly for trying to analyze Wings. It's a nice story with a solid plot that kept me entertained. There's a lot to like about it and not much to hate. I'd recommend it to anyone who likes Roseluck, Rainbow Dash, or pegasi in general.
Today’s feature was written as a side-story to a main story. Seattle’s Angels aren’t endorsing that one, solely on the fact that it’s popular enough as is, but I feel that you should know that going in anyways.
This story isn’t perfect, but it is better than the average, and one of the reasons for that rather rebellious remark is because it has no qualms in making its desperate character desperate. One of the most dissatisfying things is when characters cop out - Nightmare Moon, Discord, and Celestia during her showdown with Chrysalis didn’t put in their full effort during their moments of struggle, I feel, and I was irked to varying degrees at how relatively easily they fell. Roseluck, the main character, is not a good pony, and, I suspect, this is not wholly by circumstance alone. The story can in fact be summed up as “a pony with a bad past makes bad decisions and [redacted]” - but what intrigues me is how far said pony is willing to go with said bad decisions. Roseluck is actually easy to sympathize with, not because of her biggest problem (I don’t think any of us would know what it’s like to have diseased wings), but because of the more down-to-earth crap - bullies, being disliked, being lonely. She’s a pony who’s been handed the short end of the stick in life, and she tries so hard to make do. Even though her means are not the best, she gets points for effort, and it’s that effort which drives the plot along. You can’t help but root for her.
Stylistically, there are some points of interest to explore. I found the story to play out like a typical visual novel, possibly due to the nature of its origins, a second-person romance fic. The setting is about the same as your typical VN, there are little interjections telling you how much time has passed, and there are little interjections of Roseluck’s inner thoughts. Now, I’ve got certain opinions on the latter. Suffice to say that I didn’t like them, but that doesn’t make this story worthy of nothing but being downtrodden by a herd of a thousand swine, so on, so forth. No, this story is, if anything, true to itself, and unbarringly so - it is the story of a pony with a bad past, who makes bad decisions, and that’s something we’ve all been though, surely. It’s a point of reflection, and perhaps a reminder to treat the Rainbow Dashes in our lives a little better. As of what happens in the end, well, I’ll let you find that out for yourself.
STORY 3
Mantles, by Ponky
“The Princesses are gone, Harper,” [Sweetie Belle] managed to say. “Twilight sent them to the Moon.”
You see that ^ right there? That is exactly why I use pull-quotes. If that doesn't make you at least somewhat interested in what Mantles has to offer than you are a terrible human being and should likely be hospitalized for insanity. Seriously though, Mantles may well be one of the best pieces of fanfiction I have ever read, hands-down. With an amazing opening that does an excellent job of setting the scene, superb characterization—including a couple of OCs that manage to be better characters than some of those from canon—powerful world-building with strong implications, and just enough mystery to make it a real page-turner, Mantles will grab you by the testicles and never let go.
Despite its incredibly bizarre-sounding premise, Mantles never once feels contrived or unbelievable. Ponky has managed to create a powerfully realistic look at what an autocratic society might look like in Canterlot, and show what one mare might do to change that. Apple Bloom may be the focal point of the story, and deservedly so, but it's the history of how things came to be as they are that keeps me reading. Reading Mantles is a little bit like sitting at a red light and seeing the car next to start to move as the person decides they're going to run the light. In the back of your head you know something bad is going to happen, but you can't stop watching. Now just imagine that the car is driven a character, Apple Bloom (get it?), and that it has a dark history that involves quelling rebellions, killing protestors, and silencing opposition. Even that dumb genius analogy doesn't do Mantles justice.
The plot is deeply intricate, and, while it never lingers for too long on any one scene, it manages to tie multiple plot-lines together with ease. Since this beast is at 44k right now, and it's incomplete, it may be a little daunting to dive into, especially since there's no guarantee that it'll be completed anytime soon, but choosing to read it is one of the best fanfiction-related decisions you'll ever make, promise. The amount of views this has now is criminally low, but who knows, maybe if we all shout loud enough Ponky finish writing Mantles. As it stands now, things are just starting get great. Make no mistake though, finished or not, Mantles will surely be remembered as one of the greats. So grab your hipster glasses, and a cup of coffee and start reading this now so you can say, “I read Mantles before it was cool.”
Thrilling, heartbreaking, hypnotic, and philosophical, Ponky's writing, more than anyone else's, reminds me of shortskirtsandexplosions'—which isn't surprising, given that Ponky is a huge admirer of SS&E's work. And now that Background Pony is complete, and you may be looking for something new to read, Ponky could be your man... I'm just sayin'.
It would be pretty gakking hard to overstate just how good Mantles is. The pacing is perfect: bombshells drop on time, on target, every time, and quiet stretches are always 'the calm before the storm'. The characters—there are many memorable ones—are sensitively and insightfully portrayed, with a touch as light and careful as a lover's. Character thoughts are skillfully woven into the action of the scenes in which they occur, and are never trite or obtrusive. Description is probably Ponky's weakest point, yet he still finds exactly the right image to describe a scene more often than not. And the transitions between scenes are some of the best that I have ever seen in fiction, period.
(Seriously, if you need to work on your transitions, you should see this fic.)
The plot, meanwhile, is immense. No meandering here, though—everything is relevant, everything matters. What's more is that the plot is based firmly on the characters and their development in the world in which they've been placed. This grounding is invaluable; it ensures that the human dimension of the conflict shines brilliantly through at all times, whether in the action scenes or the calmer stretches.
Can I say anything else? What else is there to say? Mantles is superb. I loved it, and I'd recommend it to anyone. My only qualm is that it's not yet complete. It'll be a classic when it's finished.
Sitting at just over 44k words and nowhere near finished, Mantles is something you might, understandably, be wary of. It is undeniably good, though, and if you feel so inclined, go forth and bug the author to complete it. Maybe if there’s enough of us, he’ll listen.
The strength of the plot lies with, I believe, the author’s considerable self-restraint in developing the story. Rather than have the story spill its guts of edginess, fight scenes and what is generally called “awesomeness” - the fun stuff to write - at the drop of a hat, Ponky takes time to establish Apple Bloom as a solid character, with aspirations, opinions, and interactions, and does so using perfectly normal but endearing interactions with friends and family. And boy does he take his time. Don’t get me wrong; at no point does the story drag. Everything flows very naturally, in terms of both pacing and sequencing, and it is this strong flow that stops the reader from getting whiplash as the story makes its steady way from the light side of the spectrum to dark. As a result, the plot gains good depth and believability; nothing ever happens just for the sake of happening, it happens because it should. And not once did I doubt the necessity nor validity of the events presented; I was too busy enjoying the reading.
Of course, the plot itself is, as it should be, the best part of the fic. There are just enough hints to keep you intrigued, and just enough plot twists to keep you on the balls of your metaphorical feet, all the way until the time is right, and the big plot guns come out, past the point of no return. The tale of Apple Bloom is one that resonates within most of us, I’d like to believe - one of loss, of hope, of coping, and of decisions. This is not words on a page. This is a story, the woven reflection of the life of a character you grow to know and love (well, like, at least). When that life is uplifted by small comforts, you cheer with her, and when that life is shattered, you feel the tug in your chest. It is an adventure that brings out the best of us: the ability to sympathize, and the ability to hope.
And, as you’ll discover, the main plot hasn’t even started yet. But if - when - it does, you can bet that I’ll be there to watch.
*** Please note: The reviews are done by a group of individuals whose only relation to fimfiction is that they have proven themselves to be dedicated and honest members of the community and are providing the reviews for the post—because that’s what this is about: the fimfiction community. None of the Fimfiction Staff members are endorsing or promoting the particular authors, reviewers, or the stories reviewed; we are just providing a means for others to find good stories they might have missed.
DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT PM the reviewers asking them to review your story. There are lots of them, so have faith in them and in your story, they'll get there.
In the meantime, you can find the Reviews in the Seattle's Angel's Group!
~WD & Seattle_lite
Of course, Wanderer would not have approved that first one.
...
And the read later list expands once more...
Its getting toward 50 now, but damn i've also read a lot as well.
Contine writing everypony, feed my hunger for good writing!
Holy crap those reviews come fast. I need more time !
At this rate I will literally never finish my read later list....
Oh well, this way I never have to worry about running out of things to read
502810
Still a damn fine story, though.
Huh. Didn't pay attention to the tags when I read it. I can see where the author's coming from, but, well, yeah.
GAAAAAH, WHAT?? People like Mantles? Enough to write amazing reviews!?
th08.deviantart.net/fs71/200H/f/2012/311/7/c/_ponkyspasm__by_pianoponky-d5kc9m9.jpg
Sorry, can't stay, gotta go write...
(thank yooooou!!)
502897 I like your art.
I thought Roseluck was an earth pony.
502941 Different Roseluck?
Quick! Everyone join me in bugging Ponky! I've been doing it for a couple months now, but there should be more of us!
Pester pester pester! 502897
I'm a phoenix and what is this
502897 You see, buddy? You were wrong about Mantles - it is good and people do love it. Now bounce to it, as Pinkie might say!
I'm at school damnit! I only have enough time to read one review per review! I need more time! Plus my parents restricted my out of school computer use. Damnit!
502897 It was only a matter of time... congrats you awesome person you!
God damn it, authors, stop outclassing me! It's hard enough thinking of ideas with college and without these stelar stories being dug up from the rubble!
Fffffffffff.
I WILL get Seattle's Angels to read my work... eventually! I'd have to be damn lucky, but it will happen!
Maybe with this next story. Maybe. Juuuust maybe...
504476 You just gotta believe! I wrote a fic and someone randomly suggested it to them, and they said they might look!
505951
I believe, therefore I write. I know I can get up there on my own ability.
It's just taking longer than I thought :V.
I love the fact that people are reviewing stories on this site, there really needed to be something like this.
brb, reading everything ever
Gak. Gak. Gak... Gak. Gak. Gak.
I love these reviews, short little bursts of information that are enough to get you interested in a story. Will definitely check these out.
This is just a suggestion, but short of digging through your pile of blog posts there's no real efficient way of reading past Review Rounds. Do you suppose in the future you can include links to the past ones in the main post?
517217
Hey... psst. You, yeah you, RazgrizS57 (I hope that's an Ace Combat reference). We've got a group where we post all of our reviews, as well as links to the fics we reviewed. There's also a nifty (did I really just say 'nifty'?) fic recommendation thread where you can recommend fics to us, and a general discussion thread where you can discuss things... generally.
Hope this answered your not-really-a-question-but-more-of-a-suggestion post.
~alexmagnet
517485
For the second time today, I feel like an oblivious nincompoop. For that, I thank you wholeheartedly for answering my not-really-a-question-but-more-of-a-suggestion post and I will be sure to check out this nifty group.
And yes, my pen name is a reference to the arguably the greatest game I have ever played.
you did not just put something by ponky up. We all already know who Ponky is, why not just put fucking "I met a pony in hell (and we kicked ass together)" if your gonna have well known fimfiction-ers.
So. Um. I just found out I'd been reviewed here yesterday, when the interface changed and I saw that my story had been added to some groups without my knowledge.
Maybe you guys could, um, post a comment on the actual story when you do these things? You wouldn't have to copy and paste all the reviews- just a link to the review post or the group thread would work. I'm just kind of shocked that this happened and I never even knew about it. This blog is on the front page for crying out loud. Holy shit.
In other news: oh my god, you like it, you really like it.
And you said so in a post that went on the front page. 
I don't know if I'm ever going to get over that.
(Even more impressive, you like practically all the parts that weren't in the original story concept. I... I don't even know what to do with that information. Except maybe laugh uproariously.)