Story Reviews » SA Reviews #132 · 5:56pm Jul 14th, 2018
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
The Seattle’s Angels found themselves crowded in a classroom, each sitting at a desk with a pencil and notebook set on top. At the head of the class, standing on top of a teacher’s desk with a ruler in paw, was Ferret.
Matthew looked around, then raised his hand. “Didn’t we do this plot thread a few weeks ago?”
Ferret’s stare bored into him, making him shrink back. “This is different. It seems that even after years of experience, some of you are still getting reviews in late. A week late!”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been late,” Intern piped in.
Ferret stomped on a switch. A wooden hammer fell on Intern’s head. He slumped over his desk, a red welt forming where the hammer had landed.
“Anyone else have something cute they want to say?” Ferret gazed over the crowd as if daring anyone to talk back.
Taking a deep breath, Cyne risked raising his hand next. “Hey, sometimes we get stuck and miss a deadline. I think it’s safe to say our track record has been pretty good for as long as we’ve been doing this.” A murmur of agreement passed through the Angels.
“That’s not much of an excuse. We miss one, and then we miss another. And another. And another and another until we’re posting months apart.” Ferret’s tail swished, looming dangerously close to the hammer switch.
Matthew spoke up again. “Hey, we’re back on track this week. That’s a start. So how about we get to the good stuff already, yeah?”
ROUND 132
STORY 1
Dearth, by Amethyst_Dawn
Over the years, Discord has become a great friend to all of the Elements, and several ponies beyond their clique. However, he thinks he might be getting sick when he notices something about himself.
When Discord summons Twilight to talk, the poor Alicorn has no idea what she's in for.
It's only natural for chaos to ensue. But when the second most chaotic being in the universe joins in, nopony is safe from confusion.
Ya know, I’m not even sure what to say about this one. It’s quite clearly a shipfic, although a very strange one. Basically, Twilight gets brought to who-knows-where because Discord wants help. Help with friendship. And then the controversial part happens.
See, this is where a major fourth-wall break is, and that’s not going to be everyone’s cuppa tea. I thought that it added an extra bit of strangeness for Twilight to deal with, which enhanced the story. Then? Then we get a bit more fun with craziness and characters.
All in all, I thought it did a great job showcasing what it did. Simplistic in theory, yes, but definitely worth it. And you should go read it.
The story picture gives the reveal away.
With that cleared up, this was still an enjoyable, and crazy, read. I liked how Discord came off as unsure and vulnerable here, genuinely looking for help but being unable to understand how best to go about it. His road to friendship continues to be rocky, but he is making strides.
The author’s style of writing Discord’s magic is off the wall, so if random tangents and out-of-the-blue fourth wall breaking isn’t your thing, then you may have second thoughts about this one. I found it amusing, along with Twilight’s reactions to it all. She’s the anchor to this story, keeping things from drifting too far off course.
This fic reminds me of the Friends Forever comic with Discord and Luna. If you liked that story, you’ll find plenty to enjoy here.
Belvedere awoke to a misery he couldn’t explain, as if he’d experienced a great and terrible loss while he slept. His only clue, his only hope for regaining control over his life, is a curious image in his mind, an image he needs to draw.
Twilight awoke in a different world, a world where a dim sun never sets, where magic is scarce, where monsters haunt every shadow. Her only aid, her only friend, is a stallion named Belvedere who’s just as lost as she is.
So I started reading this way back when it was first published and being upload. On the surface, I’d say it’s about characters rediscovering who they are. Belvedere lives in Equestria, and is missing something, something he needs to get back, and something he’ll disrupt his life to gain. Twilight awoke in a foreign land, one with too little magic to return home.
And it’s in this land where she meets Belvedere. And here we get too below the surface of the fic. Because I’m fairly certain this is secretly a love story. And a beautiful one at that. Seriously, I cannot recommend this one enough. It’s confusing at first, but comes together as circular as a hollow sun, and is, simply put, friggin’ cool.
This is my favorite story of the bunch. I had planned on reading this throughout the week to pace out the fic, but after the second chapter, I was hooked. I had to know where this tale was taking me and read it all in one night.
Stories like these show the results of careful planning. Knowing how to end a story is important in order to lead up to that finish. Some very clever foreshadowing is placed in to make the final payoff worth every word read. Everything is tightly written, not a phrase out of place.
A few words of warning: The beginning may be a bit confusing, but enough clues are placed in that we soon begin to understand where this might be going. Again, the end of the second chapter is where I had to keep reading.
I haven’t touched the plot of this thing, and I’m not sorry in the least. You gotta go into this blind. C’mon, you can handle 18,000+ words, right?
STORY 3
Lose Yourself, by Mikleo
Death is unforgiving. Dark. Cold. Somebody close to Rainbow Dash is dead, taken away by a simple accident.
Dash doesn't like being cold.
I first found this through Paul’s reviews. And as he said, it’s a roller coaster of emotions. Not the ones that peak out at 70 mph, and only put you through 2 loops. Nay, one that sends you screaming off at the start to lead into a few hundred flips and loops, a few of them only there to keep you alive as you ride it.
It’s wonderful. It’s powerful. Even those who haven’t dealt with loss will cry their eyes out. This story decks you with a kick to the face and doesn’t stop. Yeah, some of the things the Main 6 do is a little… excessive, but still understandable. I don’t wanna talk more for fear of spoiling everything, so go read it… just, make sure you got some tissues nearby.
It’s all about the feels in this one! Tons of real emotions get dropped on us from the start, all told from Rainbow Dash’s perspective. It’s the type of story where you just want to reach in and hug her tight.
I’m not kidding, there’s a lot of heavy stuff the characters go through here. I don’t want this to scare you off from reading it, but I think due process is in order so that I don’t send readers off without proper warning.
If there’s one nitpick for me to criticize, it’s that there’s one piece of continuity that left me scratching my head. It was enough for me to take me out of the moment for a bit before getting back on track.
But really, I got a lot out of this. It may even be cathartic for those that have gone through similar circumstances.
STORY 4
Moonstone, by Jykinturah
Luna must find a gift, so she creates one.
This. This is my favorite kind of story. A story that takes descriptions and cranks it up to over 9,000. Though short, with only 1k words, Jyki managed to create such beauty that I can’t seem to get over it.
Some say that flowery narration is a drawback to a story. I say it’s what creates and allows them to live. Throughout this narration we see glimpses of how Luna views the world, of how Equestrian magic works. I mean, just read this and try to tell me it’s not good:
Luna watched closely, but never once channeled her magic, for this was the domain of Earth and she dare not trespass. The alchemical solution, naturally heated by the fires of the forge, bubbled and hissed, slowly changing from clear to a dark purple. With practiced timing, Luna tipped in another alchemical cocktail, and the mixture frothed, the surface turning a silvery hue.
And the best part of all? The receiver of the gift is left entirely to the reader, though I’m going with Twilight. Because TwiLuna.
Ever see an episode of How It’s Made? Well, if you have, then you’re in luck because now it’s in pony form!
We end this week on a more casual affair. No end-of-the-world scenarios, no problems with friends, and no heavy drama. Just Luna making a gift and giving us loving descriptions on how she’s doing it.
This could easily be a scene in a larger story. Heck, if it were, I’m sure many would just skip it to get to the character interactions at the end. However, being a standalone means we get the full impact on how much care and effort Luna is putting into making her gift. It’s beautiful and a gift all its own.
“And I want those reports on my desk end of day tomorrow!” Ferret called after the retreating forms of the Angels as they shuffled out of the room. “Practice makes perfect and deadlines are practice!” She looked down at the remaining person in the room.
“And would one of you drag Intern out of here?! He’s drooling all over the desk!”
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
Poor Intern.
Yay! A story I recommended got put in!
Thanks for featuring Forever Twilight!
Plotting that one out took much, much longer than I anticipated
4901101
I read the description, and immediately added it to my "Read it Sooner" bookshelf. I didn't even read the reviews (sorry, Angels) because I didn't want even a hint of spoilers.
I'm looking forward to this.
4901709
You're planning on reading it so I'd say we still did our part. Getting it posted here is all about the exposure.
Enjoy!