Turnabout Storm Parts 30-31 updated and... · 7:11pm Jun 9th, 2018
There are some fairly major changes this time, especially to Part 30 - Judge Off Court.
To begin with, I dropped the references to the G3 ponies the videos had much as I dropped the G1 references earlier simply because they don't fit in a story that's trying to be part of a greater verse. I also changed The Judge's reasons for being back at the courthouse where Twilight sees him. Before, he said he was hoping to find Phoenix to do some sightseeing, but realistically, he wouldn't be fraternizing with either counsel, especially during a trial. Judicial ethics and all.
I also removed reference to a jury since that didn't appear in the Ace Attorney games until game 4 (Turnabout Storm takes place just after game 2), and once again eased up significantly on the shipping overtones to the keep the story focus where it belongs at this point. The shipping is still there, but a lot more understated now and hopefully fits the chapter much better.
Here's an excerpt of updated chapter 30: https://www.fimfiction.net/story/6177/31/phoenix-wright---turnabout-storm/part-30---judge-off-court
“So you’re taking over the defense, then?” The Judge scratched his beard, a note of surprise in his voice. “Hmm… Mister Wright was never one to give up, but I suppose it’s none of my business,” he shrugged, watching Apple Bloom play.
“Your Hon—er, I mean, Judge—may I ask you question?” Twilight inquired, waiting for his nod before continuing. “May I ask why you were being so hard on us today?”
“What do you mean?” The Judge turned back to her, looking genuinely surprised by the question.
“Well… it just seemed like you were out to get us. You sided with Trixie most of the time. You also threatened to hold me in contempt of court…” Twilight reminded him, the barest note of accusation in her voice.
He shook his head. “I apologize if that was your impression, Ms. Sparkle, but you see… it’s my job,” The Judge explained, clasping his hands in front of him. “Please don’t think I was siding against you out of bias. In fact, I didn’t care much for that prosecutor’s attitude right from the start, but the logic and the evidence she supplied was much more decisive than yours,” he told her, almost apologetically. “I wasn’t playing favorites, I assure you.
“And as for the contempt citation… I realize that emotions get heated in the midst of a murder trial, given the high stakes involved. That’s why I gave you a warning and not an actual penalty; I understood you were upset and just trying to protect your friend,” he remembered. “But it’s also my job to keep a cool head and ensure that the rules of the court are followed, and that includes not allowing unsupported accusations against your fellow counsel that could potentially damage your client’s defense. Please don’t take it personally, Ms. Sparkle,” The Judge concluded.
Despite his reassuring tone, Twilight’s temper flared. “’Unsupported accusations’? You really think he wasn’t lying when he accused Fluttershy?” she challenged.
The Judge considered his next words carefully, stroking his beard as he thought. “Without interjecting myself where I should not… I will simply say that in my experience, Mister Wright has good reasons for everything he does… though I grant they often don’t make much sense at the time. So I would encourage you to hear him out before you take rash action, Ms. Sparkle,” he suggested gently. “That said, be assured that I should I find when court resumes tomorrow that his reasons were not good ones, he will incur not just a contempt citation, but referral to the Equestrian Judicial Misconduct Board for a knowingly false and malicious accusation of a witness.”
Yes, a bit of foreshadowing. As for chapter 31, which was the first Trixie/Twilight confrontation, I left it mostly intact. Just cleanup work there, because I think the basic story is fine. Regardless, you are invited to check out both updated chapters, and more should be coming within a week.
Thanks as always to my prereading crew of AJ_Aficionado, Silentwoodfire and Denim_Blue for their passes and comments.
I'm still seriously annoyed by your blatant willingness to rewrite a story that isn't actually yours. I don't dislike you as a person, but this kind of thing isn't making me respect you a whole lot. Does Raven know about this? Did you even tell her? What does she think of it? Maybe make a point of stating that kind of thing in your next blog post, because right now, it's looking like you're usurping and adulterating the popular creation of someone else.
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https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/791753/announcing-change-of-ownership-for-turnabout-storm
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i.warosu.org/data/g/img/0579/83/1481665212794.png
After all this time and I still love this story.
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Not to be rude or anything but it's been almost 5 months since Raven gave ownership of the story to Firesight.