Prereader verdict on new Midnight Rising chapter is in... · 2:33pm April 15th
And unfortunately, that verdict is unanimous:
Complaints were: too meta, hard to follow, does nothing to advance the plot, and potentially makes things worse while trying to fix them.
I’m stubborn, but I’m not stupid enough to ignore what multiple prereaders have told me. So the chapter is officially scrapped. I may try to save a few select sequences of it for later, but it will not see the light of day. To my prereaders, I’m sorry to have wasted your time, but thanks for giving it to me straight. I don’t want rubber stamps, and you guys certainly aren’t. The question now becomes where to go from here.
It was suggested by both AJA and especially Silverblade5 that I’m trying too hard to fix something that really shouldn’t be fixed. That I simply continue the story as is, but provide a separate summary outside of the main narration for anyone who wants to skip the griffon arc. I think that’s probably my best bet at this point, so that’s what I’m going to do.
But I think folks will understand that I need to step away from this for a couple days to regroup mentally. It does sting to be told that several weeks of work just doesn’t... well, work. But I’d much rather have that happen then post something nobody will enjoy and potentially costs me even more readers.
And besides, I did get a great deal of progress done on the first Lemon Zest chapter this weekend. Between that and doing my taxes (ugh) as well as engaging in a long and unpleasant cleaning job I’d been putting off, it was a productive two days, and I rewarded myself with a stovetop skillet steak for Sunday night dinner.
I still pledge to have new and fully prereader-approved content out by the end of the month. After all the agonizing over this, I owe readers that much, at least.
It's best to listen to prereaders indeed and given that the previous chapters were slightly controversial it's probably not a great idea if the next one doesn't advance the plot. Especially since the griffon arc deviated from the plot according to the complaints.
Anyway I'm stil looking forward to Lemon Zest's chapter.
Mmm. Skillet steak.
Friend, don't let this get you down. I admire you for trying what you attempted to do. People will throw sticks at your head when you try and fail but praise you to the roof when you try what no one else thought of and it works big. We've spoken over Skype about Undertale -- a brutally 4th-wall breaking and meta piece of referential fiction that I praised to the heavens. Sometimes, you just have to try and try you did. It's not like SB5 and I would rather you have bored us to tears trying to play it safe!
That said, I completely understand why you'd want to take a break. Treat yourself with steaks for now and come back ready to kick some more ass.
On a final note, I do want to push back on one thing you said. You didn't waste our time. Never have. And that's why we love prereading for you.
Edit: Another important thing to note is that you didn't publish your draft so the drafting process was ultimately a huge success.
It's never a waste of time.
On another note: Meta done right. Play Pony Island next time you need to step away. Do it. It's great.
5776921
Pony Island, you say? I'll have to look that up. I've never heard of it. Fan game?
5776960
Absolutely not. The following description is spoilers, as half the game is fighting out the mechanics. It is very meta in that regard.
You are trapped in a buggy game develop by the devil. You must solve puzzles in the form of troubleshooting, then play and win the actual game, in order to escape.
Below is a quality playthrough
https://youtu.be/72ItxJljAao?si=dxqb_lYSyRI8Fi4r
Just my own two cents here:
Midnight Rising works for me as a smut story because, at least for the first ~7 chapters, you follow the pattern of:
1. introduce a character we know from EQG.
2. develop that character slightly beyond from what we know in EQG, as relates to Midnight.
3. have Midnight inflict an ironically torturous sexual punishment to them.
4. (often through Sunset) express how out-of-bounds Midnight's powers are and have become, and how, if left unchecked, she may render the world into a sexualized dystopia.
In other words, the titillation comes both from connecting with the victim of the punishment or with the observers, and from a "globalized fetish" concept. The drake and griffon chapters fulfill the second source, but not the first. There's no connection made with characters interacting with actual Equestrians, and it's so far from the main plot.
If the story were to "bad end" with Midnight still in the process of her revenge (some would consider that the good end), then such things might fit as "omake" chapters. But as is, I either want Midnight to dole out more punishments or advance to the battle with Sunset.
5777454
Thanks, I'll add them to my writing piggy bank.
I know, I know.
I've had that point driven home quite thoroughly by the reactions of several readers over the past few months, to say nothing of the readership I lost. I got away from the main storyline in favor of this sideshow I wanted to do, which related more to my other stories than to this one. But even for readers of those stories, that's not what they were here for.
I know I screwed up, but I really can't take it back now. It's too firmly embedded in the story, and when I suggested excising the griffon chapters to elsewhere, I had multiple readers beg me not to—some people do like it. Best I can do at this point is let readers know at the start of the griffon arc what's happening and give them the option to skip over it, receiving a separate out-of-story summary of what happened before continuing. It's not a perfect solution at all, but it's about all I can do.
And at long last, you're going to get both. We're starting into Lemon Zest next chapter, and the battle with Sunset follows after. On the subject of 'bad end', I've also had multiple readers ask for one regarding both Midnight and the dragons victorious over the griffons. So I may have to consider doing one later.