Story Reviews » SA Reviews #129 · 11:34pm May 29th, 2018
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
Corejo flipped through his Reviews folder one last time before making it up the stairs toward Ferret’s room. Yep, all there! He threw on a jaunty smile and strode up to her door… which was locked?
A little red note taped to the door read in commanding read marker: OUT TO LUNCH. SLIP YOUR REVIEWS UNDER THE DOOR.
Huh. Normally Ferret left the door open on Review Day so she could see their bright, sunshiny faces when they walked in. Whatever.
Corejo shrugged and did as the sign said. And then he drummed his hands on his thighs. And then he looked around.
Huh. Where were the shenanigans? There were supposed to be some wacky shenanigans that magically happened right about now at the worst possible time and inconvenienced him, because comedic coincidence dictated so.
Where was Squirrel and an avalanche of acorns? Intern trying to find the elevator for the elevator pass Wanderer D sold him? Archonix and his... magnificent beard doing... whatever it was English people did with their magnificent beards?
That's how Review Day always went. Reviews plus Review Day equalled inconvenient shenanigans out of nowhere. It was why they kept emergency hard hat stations all over the tree fort. It wouldn't be Review Day without the shenanigans.
And yet here he was on a Review Day, fist full of reviews, moments before nothing could possibly go wrong, and not a shenanigan in sight.
Huh.
Weird...
ROUND 129
What if you could see guilt?
What if guilt looked like a dead lizard?
What if that dead lizard had your cutie mark?
This is My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, as conceived by Nathaniel Hawthorne.
As the description promises, this fic has a distinct Nathaniel Hawthorne vibe—or more broadly, an American Romantic-era vibe—in terms of style and theme, and Violet CLM nails that style while still providing a wholly original story. What I really appreciate is that this story took a completely ridiculous premise—dead lizards manifesting as physical markers of guilt all over Ponyville—and took it completely seriously. That's not to say that there isn't plenty of funny stuff in the story, but rather that the story doesn't make a joke out of its premise. That ends up being crucial to its effectiveness, because the ending packs surprising punch precisely because the story takes its premise seriously. I'm a big fan of well-written parables, and this is that perfectly balanced yet unapologetically unsubtle metaphor which a parable ought to be.
One thing I’ve heard people say about this story is that it’s “not pony enough,” insofar as the ending goes. But I completely disagree: what made this a pony story for me is that the moral at the ending relies on us knowing that the characters were ponies. If this was a story about humans, there wouldn't be any drama nor surprise that things ended the way they did (trying not to be spoilery…). Even if that outcome wouldn't be preordained—and I don't think it would be, personally—it at least wouldn't be unexpected. Setting the story in Equestria makes a point about the supposed idyll of the setting: Equestria isn't a utopia. It's a nice place, and ponies as a group seem to be nice creatures... but it's still not a place where perfection is a sustainable standard.
That’s something the show has demonstrated time and again, and this is a story that drives that home in a bizarrely poignant way. Add that to the pitch-perfect pastiche and beautiful writing, and this is one that’s easy for me to recommend.
For the record, I live under a series of rocks and therefore don't read much real life literature. Meaning I don't really know Hawthorne's works or literary style or the types of things he wrote about.
That said, there's a definite style emulated here in Parable of the Dead Lizards, and I kinda like it. It's definitely on the wordy side, but the roundaboutness has a charming feel to it. You know, a style, as the word indicates.
The cleanliness of a bakery was of the utmost importance, [the PASTRY CHEF] insisted, and there were absolutely no lizards living anywhere in the building, dead or otherwise.
And goddamnit, he still found a way to make Pinkie Pie still be so perfectly Pinkie Pie, despite that.
But more to the point, this is a story with a message. What do these dead lizards mean? And when the villagers learn that and act accordingly, what does it say about humanity?
This is a surprisingly thoughtful story that hits a few notes I'd expect more out of a book read in high school English than a pony fanfic.
Seriously, give this one a go.
If you have ever wondered how the saying "Don't look a gift horse in the mouth" came to be, please venture inside and learn one fairytale version of this tale.
Any of you readers who used to follow my fanfic review blog will probably recall my fondness for folklore and fairytale-style stories. So… here’s me recommending another folktale! ~Surprise~
Okay, seriously, this starts out looking like a well-constructed but slightly stock fairytale; the kind of thing I might personally have a soft spot for, but which I wouldn’t necessarily recommend to a reader without a pre-existing interest in the style.
But!
In the aftermath of the battle (near the halfway point in the story), it suddenly becomes much more creative than I was expecting it to be. It deftly straddles the line between using well-known imagery and relying on cliches, and even got me invested in how it would resolve. That's tough for any story done in this style to do, seeing as a key part of the genre’s aesthetic relies on building around classic tropes and repetition in ways which will naturally make a story feel more reserved and less visceral immediate. That Legend found a way to have its cake and eat it too in this regard is no mean feat. Ultimately I found myself appreciating this both as a piece of storytelling, and as story in its own right.
Worldbuilding! Idiom origins! Elementals! Oh my! Chris really knows how to pick 'em, I tell ya.
So we all learned never to look a gift horse in the mouth, thanks to Twilight in Suited for Success way back on season one. But where did that phrase come from? I have no idea where it did in real life, but if you're up for some light reading, LiterarySerenity has an Equestria-based idea for you to chew on.
Elementals formed from careless spells gone rogue roam the distant Equestrian desert and war among themselves, as they have never known Harmony. But what happens when these beings come across ponykind and their harmonious ways?
As is the trend with this batch of stories, Legend if the Gift Horses follows an oral tradition-style narrative that's quick to sweep you up in this bite-sized but entertaining bit of headcanon. Don’t look this gift horse in the mouth!
After Pinkie's new cake test run goes awry, the Cakes are left with a hole in the wall. Mister Cake goes to the hardware store to pick up supplies to fix it, with the help of his kids.
Too bad he forgot just how much a cart full of building supplies weighs.
Don't be fooled by the [Romance][Comedy] tag combo—although the story plays itself fairly light, this is a genuine, not-at-all dismissive look at the crises of self-perception which aging inevitably brings, all wrapped in a thoroughly Equestrian veneer and wrapped up with a gently affirming ending.
If you’re still under 30, you can stop reading this review now.
Still with me? Hey, welcome to the geezer club! What’s that? “30 is the new 20?” Funny that you say that, because that’s really what this story is about, and it’s why you should read it. See, it's difficult to admit that you aren't “young,” anymore, especially since “young” is such a nebulous concept. But whether that realization comes because you aren't quite as spry as you used to be, or because those around you are starting to expect you to "act like a grown-up" more and more, it will come, and it’s probably already manifesting for you. This fic touches on both of those ideas, without turning to over-dramatics in either case. It doesn't take something big to make someone doubt themselves; your wife not laughing at your joke can be all that's needed to plant that seed of doubt. And on the flip side, sometimes it only takes a small acknowledgement to move past that self-doubt, which is exactly what this story shows. Mr. Cake feels utterly relatable here, being struck by that universal wavering which aging brings, but dealing with it in an understated, believable way.
It’s a story about not being young anymore, written with the kind of sincerity and candor that we’ve all come to appreciate from a certain show about pastel-colored equines. And it shows us that just because you aren’t one of The Youths, that doesn’t mean you have to skip straight to Broken-Down Old Manhood.
A simpler story for you all right here and the oddball of the lot in that it's the only one here that isn't a fable/parable/worldbuild-y story. Not to call it inferior in any capacity. It simply focuses on more personable aspects of life.
This one makes me wish we got an episode of The Last Roundup, but from the perspective of the ponies who fixed town hall and all the obvious trouble only Ponyville could manage therein. Granted, that wouldn't necessarily follow the same sentiment this story aims for, but I can still dream, dang it!
I'm any event, the fic starts out with Mr. Cake needing to go to the tool shop for supplies after Pinkie Pie's most recent baking experiment literally blows up in their faces (because when doesn't it?), and blows a hole in the wall for good measure (because when doesn't it?). Cue two slightly aged up Cake Twins, and you've got a silly recipe for a midlife crisis that… actually plays the whole deal pretty straight.
I have to admit, for as gently as this one scratches the surface of the whole “getting older” deal, it hits home. Maybe it's because I'm just now getting to the time in my life that I can clearly see both behind and ahead of me on the path of life, but yeah.
This fic isn't for everyone, but I know some of you out there will appreciate the simplicity on display. Give it a try.
The back of this slim volume reads as follows:
On winter's nights, when cold winds blow outside and ponies everywhere huddle around the fireplace, friends and family often pass the time by telling stories to one another. Many of these fanciful tales have been told and re-told for generations, and the most enduring ones have become immortalized in folklore as pony tales.
My brother and I have travelled the land, gathering many of these stories, and now present this collection for your entertainment. We hope you find them as interesting as we did.
~Scarlet Quill, of the Quill Siblings
Most of the pages are blank, but as you watch, neatly-penned words begin to fill the first few pages all on their own. Already, one story has completed itself. It appears to tell the tale of the First Changeling...
WHAT’S THIS CHRIS RECOMMENDING ANOTHER FOLKTALE-STYLE FIC STOP THE PRESSES
Okay, okay. So, what makes this story stand out? What makes it more than just another three-beats fic wrapped in a “once upon a time” and sprinkled with some vaguely old-timey language? Because make no mistake, FiMFiction is littered with stories that gild themselves with a general folktale aesthetic without actually being folktales. Or, you know, good.
What makes this one stand out? Three words: the dragon’s section. This is a “three beats” story, yes, but it puts a clever twist on the whole thing when it comes to the dragon’s turn. And what makes it clever is that it looks for all the world like a “taking the wind out of its own sails” self-spoof of the kind that’s become so common in the more cynical brands of comedy these days… but it isn’t. Because, it makes perfect sense from a character perspective, and equally importantly, it fits the larger scope and tone of the narrative even as it seems to undermine the same on a smaller scale. It’s a brilliant example of how to throw a curveball that’s still a perfect strike.
Even without that, it’s a well-constructed piece of writing with a great tragic ending and a lovely read-aloud style. But if the story was ice cream, the dragon’s section would be the hot fudge: it makes a great thing greater.
I will never say no to more Chrysalis. Or fables. Or both.
The Four Gifts of the Princess is a beautiful if short piece of headcanon. It features all the hallmarks of a classic fable—the whimsical, oral tradition-style narrative; the bedtime fantasy appeal; and the classic Greek tragedy. It hits all the notes pitch perfect from start to finish. I could see this being a real storybook in Equestria.
My only complaint is that the ending feels a little sudden. But overall I find that pretty minimal given the story type and the story itself.
Please don't pass this one up. It'll do you good to get your daily dose of headcanon.
Corejo headed back toward the staircase, hands jammed in his pockets, eyes wandering for any stray shenanigans waiting to pounce.
This was really weird, though. He’d made it all the way to the stairs and still no shenanigans. Granted, he was past the point of no return, so there was no real reason for the shenanigans to do their shenaniganing.
But seriously. Something was definitely off.
Corejo slapped his forehead and laughed at the sudden realization.
How could he have been so silly? It was Tuesday. Reviews were always due on Saturday. No wonder there were no shenanigans!
He got to the top of the stairs before it hit him.
Oh crap. Reviews were always due on Saturday!
Chris flipped through his Reviews folder one last time before making it up the stairs toward Ferret’s room. Yep, all there! He threw on a jaunty smile and strode up to her door… which was locked?
A little red note taped to the door read in commanding read marker: OUT TO LUNCH. SLIP YOUR REVIEWS UNDER THE DOOR.
Huh...
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
I swear I'm going to find that elevator. This legit pass will not go unused!
That got a chuckle out of me. Also, Wanderer D, in the interest of fostering good will, it is good to see you posting these again. I wish you well.
For all that this is "SA Reviews: Fables Edition", it's still a great batch of stories. (Two of them are even cross-features with the RCL.) Nice picks!
This is why we can't have nice things.