Story Reviews » SA Reviews #124 · 8:49pm Mar 17th, 2018
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
“Look,” said Red, “I really think you’re going about this the wrong way.”
“Oh really?” said Matthew419. “How would you suggest otherwise?”
“Don’t dangle me by my tail off the edge of a fifty-story building?”
A spotlight peered up at them. “This is Intern!” Intern shouted up through a megaphone. “We’ve got the building surrounded! Drop the squirrel and--”
The megaphone squealed loudly, and there were sounds of a scuffle before another voice shouted at them once again. “No no no, don’t drop the squirrel!” said someone who Red thought might be Ebon Quill. “I mean, do, but first, just step away from the ledge and we’ll talk!”
“There’s nothing to talk about!” Mathew419 bellowed. “Haven’t I been in the organization long enough?! The squirrel gets his own bed and tenure and oversized coffee mugs while I get paid in peanuts! Actual factual peanuts!” He held out a bag of peanuts with his free hand.
“We know you have the reviews up there,” Ebon exposited. “Just bring them and the squirrel down so we can have proper negotiations!”
“I’ll negotiate when Seattle comes home!” was the vicious retort.
“Oooh, that reminds me,” Red said, pulling a smartphone out of his bushy tail and tap-tapping away at it.
‘What are you doing?” asked Mathew419.
“My reviews,” said Red.
ROUND 124
A broken amulet drives the once Great and Powerful mare into a life on the lam. With no friends, no shelter (not even her beloved wagon!), Trixie finds herself doing whatever she can to stay one step ahead of the law, but trying to remain incognito proves difficult for the former showmare.
I’m not actually sure how I found this one. But I’m glad I did. I will admit, though, I was nervous going into it. The description’s setup, combined with the lack of cover art, looked unprofessional. And it seriously scared me. But I gave it a chance. And, predictably, I was definitely not disappointed. I got a story with Trixie on the run, using her brain and skills as she attempts to avoid detection…
Attempts... Because, of course, something goes wrong. Then another thing. And then another thing. But it’s ridiculous things. Ridiculous things that Trixie solves using her specific skill set in such a way that it leaves you going ‘Well, that makes sense.’ And it’s that feeling that I love so much.
Trixie is a great character when she’s awful at everything she does. I, personally, came to like her specifically because we all know she’s a hack. When it comes to ‘real’ magic, she can’t even pretend she knows what she’s doing. All she can do is pull the wool over everyone else’s eyes, including her own.
But then comes a day when she is forced to take a stand in a town far removed from Equestria or her own confidence. Disaster after comically ridiculous disaster starts piling up for Trixie as she takes on everything the world has to throw at her. It starts with a griffon bounty hunter and escalates wildly, forcing Trixie to use her own unique skillset to rise above. Most stories would have a character reach some kind of epiphany and achieve a new level of power, but Trixie remains quintessentially Trixie throughout the fic, and that’s what keeps it good.
Equestria hasn’t seen a shooting star in over a thousand years. Derpy Hooves thinks it’s time to give her daughters a Hearth’s Warming gift they’ll never forget.
I will admit, Derpy is not a character I enjoy reading very often. That’s because most write her as either a complete idiot, or a misunderstood, made-fun-of pony. And, well, Dubs Rewatcher only did half of the latter, and none of the former. You see, Dubs, for the most part, wrote her as a caring mother who simply wants to make her foals happy. And that’s an aspect I admire, because it’s believable.
Of course, a fair bit of this story is about Luna, as all good stories are. Anyway, it’s a pretty understandable Luna, who I would honestly say is scared of disappointing others, and scared of looking like a fool. As I’m sure you can tell based on what I’ve talked about so far, this is a character story, on that succeeds incredibly well. Please go read this.
I must agree with my fellow reviewer; I hate a lot of depictions of Derpy. She’s less a character and more a vehicle, a blank slate the fandom uses to enjoy its own wish-fulfillment. A symbol of pandas raining from the sky and flat characterization based on whatever memes are floating around about her. But then sometimes, just sometimes, someone takes a background pony and actually makes a good story out of them. This is one such time.
Several headcanons are folded together here, with Derpy getting not just one but two daughters, Dinky and Amethyst Star, but that just serves to inform her motivations more than be a lame attempt at drawing in readers with tags. Derpy is motherly without being overbearing, silly without cloying. Her interactions with Luna aren’t just rote scenes of ‘here’s where one character tells another what they need to hear,’ the story has already developed Derpy enough that we can believe the words coming out of her mouth ourselves.
Did I mention Luna’s in the story? She is, and she’s actually as much of a star as Derpy is. Derpy is merely trying to accomplish a goal (get shooting stars) but Luna must grow as a pony before the finish line. That it’s Derpy who helps her do that didn’t make me shy away; far from it, the premise is utilized to full effect.
The milliner on March Street leads a simple life, tending to her shop and taking care of her goods. Her only company is her hats and the dusty shelves they inhabit. She has not had an exciting moment in a long while, and so expects nothing exciting to happen.
For the most part, she's right; until one day she isn't.
When PresentPerfect gave the pitch in the rec thread, he said it’s a story that lives and dies by its word choices. And he was right. More right than I could have guessed. But this absolutely lives. Every single word was placed with care, every sentence given thought. And it shows.
I read the first three paragraphs and immediately knew it was going to be featured. Because those paragraphs, and every one following it, has more than one level of meaning. Hey, I’d even say more than two levels of meaning.
I don’t entirely know what else to say. The level of this story is beyond words. So, I guess I’ll end it, by saying this should be the absolute next thing you read. And I honestly mean that. And, to the author, thank you for this.
There are some stories you just know are going to interest you the moment you start reading them. This story was one. I’m not sure I understood what it was about at all, but the descriptions are long and lovely and very nearly excessive. The story moves at a slow, leisurely pace, following each and every little thing the milliner does. I didn’t even know what a milliner was before this story. The best thing I can say about it is reading it felt like listening to quiet morning sounds while you sit at a table, drinking something warm. The gentle scrape of wood on wood as drawers open. The murmur of quiet voices. The gentle clatter of cups and dishes. I listened to it all.
Winter is at it's apex in Ponyville, but the year is not long for the world. New Year's is in full swing at Sweet Apple Acres. Two spent nags, mugs of cider in their hooves, sit before a roaring fire and find that their score is not yet settled. In the fields, a quiet blanket of snow and an emotional rollercoaster await. It's time to step outside.
“An Apple Family fic? Eh, I don’t know. I guess I’ll read it cause I have to.”
-Thoughts of a foolish me after Red put it up for consideration.
First thing I noticed after reading it for a few minutes, however, is that this is really, really good. And I don’t mean the typical really, really good, I mean this downright impressed me. We get introduced to an old coot apple, who meets with an old coot pear… and, well, they argue. Because this is another character piece. A character piece that does everything perfectly. In fact, I could reasonably see myself in this argument.
But, eventually, they do work it out. Though how they work it out, well, I don’t think it could have been done better any other way. And, well, it takes a serious turn after that. But it’s a believable turn. A turn I could easily see myself taking part of. Maybe it’s just me, but the tl;dr is all of this is believable. And it works so well. And… yeah… I’ll stop rambling now, because I know how much you value Red’s opinion over mine. But I will leave a parting sentence: thank you for writing this, WishyWish, and I hope all these here readers decide to listen to me and read this asap.
Do you know of any other authors who can take an idea like ‘two old ponies spit vinegar at each other for several thousand words’ and make it into a story as compelling and charming and lovely as this one? Yeah, I thought not. If you like the Apples, if you like good writing, if you like anything that is decent and heartwarming in this world, you go and click the link above right now!
This is the only way this story could ever have been told. It wears itself proudly and doesn’t back down, and it dares you to think of a better way to characterize Granny Smith and her rival William Shatner, then it sits you down and tells you why you can’t while knitting a quilt. Everything about this story was simply lovely, with no reason whatsoever for it to be not recommended. It is a character piece, yes, and full of a lot of dialogue, but oh, what dialogue it is. It is full of little talks, but oh, they will strike you to the quick. It is not an epic adventure but a cozy tale of family. It is an amazing addendum to one of the best stories Friendship is Magic has ever produced.
“Done!” Red chirped, shoving the smartphone back into his tail fluff.
“Are you for real?” Mathew419 barked. “I thought we were having a serious moment here!”
“But we are!” Red sputtered. “We definitely, really, most certainly are,” he added as a gust of wind threatened to tear him from his captor’s grip and send him plummeting.
“Liar!” shouted Mathew419. “You don’t take anything seriously, do you? Just like a squirrel to beat around the brush!”
“First of all, it is rude to insult my tail,” said Red. “Secondly, please hold on a little tighter I am slipping. Thirdly, you may want to end this quickly before the rescue arrives.”
“Ha! They haven’t even sent up a chopper,” Mathew419 said, gesturing to the rabble below.
“No, not them,” Red said, smiling. “I meant my wife.”
It was at that moment that Mathew419 felt something dart up his pants leg. Something furry and fast and prickly. Over the sound of wind and police sirens there came a shrill, squeaky, ferrety war cry.
”I am the one who bites!”
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
Is SixShooterOutlaw an alt of Wishy's, then?
I think you linked to the wrong story possibly.
The last story link is wrong. I searched the title, and the second result is the one you want.
4819171 no, the link was wrong, thanks for pointing it out
Okay, I laughed at that ending twist.
oi, Matthew, I think your "underline for emphasis" accidentally got shifted a bit too far up.
I'm so pleased you guys liked Milliner. :D
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I swear I have no clue how that happened, but, uh... yeah... thanks.
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oi, horizon, by golly, I think you're right... it's, uh, it's totally WD's fault! Yeah... totally
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:D :D :D :D :D
OH MY GOSH I GOT REVIEWED
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my story! Yes, I crafted it specifically with word choice in mind. I honestly didn't expect it to get any sort of attention; I wrote it as an experiment with prose and tone. I'm so glad you guys liked it as much as you did!
Hmmm. More fodder for "Read it Sooner."
Oh, hey, finally got into an Angels post! Well, that’s the last of my fandom goals completed. Time to ascend.
So glad you guys enjoyed What are You Doing New Year's Eve! It was a pleasure to write, but I figured it had slipped in under the radar and without notice, given I released it...on new year's eve, I think. Nice to know it meant something to some folks. I'm considering it for my next audio adaptation. I figure if I can muddle my way through voicing Pinkie Pie and the Cake twins, I can at least give an old nag and William Shatner a try!
Anyway, I blogged about the review. Thanks again for the read
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Well, now that all three active authors are here, I don't feel awkward replying. We really did enjoy these three stories, and while I can't speak for Red here, I thank you greatly for writing them. I can't think of anything I'd rather have done with the time I spent reading these.
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That last sentence is the best I hope for with my writing, so thank you