Story Reviews » SA Reviews #112 · 5:49pm Sep 23rd, 2017
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
The low-lying fog obscured the two ponies’ hooves as they tramped through the ancient graveyard. Luna’s moon hung in the early autumn air, burning a sickly yellow.
“I hate graveyards, Ferret,” Intern said as he tightened his rucksack. He spluttered as he walked through a dangling cobweb.
Ferret chuckled, and hopped over some brambles. “Watch where you step, you never know when—”
There was a click underhoof, and a grasping griffon claw burst from the loam beneath the pair. Intern leapt back, cursing. Ferret laughed, and plucked the padded foam prop from its spring.
“Why are we even here, Ferret? That new kid, Novel-whoever, is pretty good. This is a waste of our time.”
She sighed, looking across the expanse of the necropolis. “Maybe. But he went through a lot of work to keep others out. Aren’t you even slightly curious?”
Intern looked behind them at the dozens of traps and creepy tableaus they had already traveled through and sniffed. “No.”
“Too bad,” she said. She tapped a hoof on a moss-covered brass plaque mounted on a crumbling mausoleum. “We’re here.”
Intern brushed the moss away from the plaque, and scoffed. “You’re kidding. ‘Here rests Ebon Quill. No visitors. Deliveries in rear.’” He glanced back to Ferret. “You’re kidding, right?”
Ferret bounded up the steps, and pulled on a convenient chain. Somewhere deep within the bowels of the earth, an unearthly moan shook the pair.
After a moment, Intern hopped away from the edifice. “Well, we tried. I’ll let the others know.”
The rasp of metal on stone froze him in his tracks. He turned back to see Ferret casually leaning against the mossy stone. Beside her, the rusted portcullis lowered into the floor.
A gray unicorn stepped out, and tightened his scarf against the chill autumn wind. With all the pathos of a bored butler, he intoned, “Begone, trespassers, lest ye…”
He trailed off as Ferret produced a note. “What have we here?”
“The Rabbit sends his regards.”
The unicorn—Ebon Quill, Intern presumed—rolled his eyes, and skimmed the note. “Yes, yes. So I see. What is it this time? A tribe of angry gerbils? The Heck-spawned Maestro Blazebeard? Discord got the rumbly-tumblies?”
Intern reached into his rucksack and tossed a stack of papers at Ebon Quill’s hooves. “Worse. You’ve been pressed into the Angels, kid. Get to reviewing.”
ROUND 112
STORY 1
The Here and Now, by 4Darker
A lonely and broken Trixie Lulamoon endeavors to make a special day as memorable as possible.
I’ve got a treat for you all today, something I found a while back and am now getting the chance to showcase. I picked this one out not just because I’m a massive Trixie fanatic, but also because it explores subjects with such feeling and intensity that I can’t help but get a bit touched even through a second read-through. Sad Trixie stories are hardly a rarity around here, but bear with me as I explain.
Set a few months after Magic Duel, Trixie’s at a lowpoint. All alone in the woods and with a magicless, broken horn, she attempts to make this particular moment special. She’s gathered ingredients for a simple recipe, but the lack of magic is making cooking the recipe very difficult. Flashes of the past aren’t helping matters, nor the constant weight of what the future holds. The struggles Trixie faces become the struggle of the reader to continue forward no matter how tough things get.
There’s very little dialogue here, as the majority of the story is from Trixie’s perspective. We see and experience everything she does. I love how this narrative is structured, as we get to work alongside Trixie, watching as she completes every little task. Once Trixie and the reader get to the end, the reward is all the sweeter for our efforts.
I hope I’m not overselling this. It’s easy to hype a story up and then feel disappointed if it doesn’t live up to expectations. Merely getting the “feels” isn’t why I chose this, as there’s more to it than just a sad set of scenes. I will say though that by the end there’s a little ray of hope for Trixie and that she’s not as alone as she thinks. Check it out!
This is a heart-wrenching set of scenes structured around a very special day. Unlike some other stories of this type, it doesn’t exist only to make the reader sad, but rather provide a good message for the reader. In this story, we watch Trixie learn an important lesson anyone who’s struggled with depression should remember: a little time spent including love and attention to your own body and mind is just as necessary as periodic vehicular maintenance. The author spends time constructing a believable and, most importantly, touching story about the life near the bottom, and then provides us signposts to show our favorite stage magician isn’t going to be here long.
This is a very touching, highly emotional piece. The intercut scenes ending with each title drop feels like falling further and further down the spiral. Trixie is at her lowest, emotionally speaking, and brings us along for the ride. There are many unspoken sorrows in her past, and she weathers them all with the same mantra, and they each play into why and how today is a very special day for Trixie. We cheer for her every step of the way, and it leads to a very satisfying end. I thank 4Darker for writing it, and remind anyone who may need it to spend a little time caring for yourself. Here’s some places to start, if you need them.
The fog lifts eventually, even for broken-horned unicorns celebrating a special day all alone at the bottom. And we’re never as alone as we feel.
The Equestrian Exploration Institute: an organization devoted to further the intellectual and terrestrial exploits of the land of Equestria. Who other than the dauntless Pinkamina Diane Pie would be better suited to handle the precipitous perils populating the uncharted reaches?
Based loosely upon Jules Verne's Five Weeks in a Balloon
Make that very loosely.
Keep this little nugget of wisdom inside your head as you read this:
“It’s Pinkie Pie. Roll with it.”
Apparently, Pinkie has just finished reading an adventure/expedition novel from the late 1800s and proceeds to role-play as an intrepid explorer with visions of grand exploits for princess and country and all that jazz. At least that’s the explanation I came up with after finishing this.
But hey, Chairman Sir Lintsalot gave his approval, so I can’t argue with that!
If you can’t tell, this story is kinda silly. What makes it work, however, is Fluttershy. She’s the straight mare to Pinkie’s Pinkieness, acting as she normally would given the situation. Fluttershy gets some of the best lines in this, so fans of her will definitely need to check this out.
I got a couple of chuckles out of this, and, given that it’s only a few thousand words long, that’s a pretty good ratio. Recommended for those that don’t mind a little silliness in their lives.
Overall, I enjoyed this little voyage into the pre-pulp era of high-society adventure popular in the late 19th Century. Jules Verne and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle are both immense fun, and this tale seeks to emulate their style. However, much like Pinkie’s practically perfect plan precedes properly perilous predicaments, the story finds itself slipping its moorings.
To be clear, I thoroughly enjoyed it. It’s silliness is not to be understated, and it emulates its inspirations’ tone while still staying true to its own setting. The preparations are adorably zany, and the voyage is chockablock with what the Messrs. Warner, (addendum Mlle. Warner,) famously termed “funny uh-oh,” including a brief altercation between Fluttershy and a doomed cherry pie.
All in all, it’s a fun romp that, despite needing another polish pass or two, I still recommend wholeheartedly. I sincerely hope Rocket Lawn Chair returns to this style; Pinkie and Fluttershy in a 20,000 Leagues pastiche would be amazing!
If you don’t mind a rougher cut, you may indeed find a hidden gem.
STORY 3
Lilies of the Field, by Hap
Lily brings happiness to other ponies, one flower at a time. But when that happiness dies the next day, what was it really worth?
Back on the sad track. Must of been in a melancholy mood when picking these out. Here, we get a story about a pony that just wants to open her heart and make others happy. However, happiness can be a fleeting thing, just like the lifespan of a flower.
This one is chock full of metaphors, from flowers, to vases, to dirt paths, everything. Imagery is used to the fullest effect to speak about the condition of the mind and body, as well as the emotions roiling inside. So if that’s your thing, this will bring you all sorts of feels.
I haven’t talked about the plot, but that’s hard to do since a lot of it depends on going in blind and letting the story take you where it needs to go. So just take my word that sometimes our dear ponies have to deal with a world that isn’t always fair.
So, allow me to talk about my history with this story. At BronyCon this year, I ended up having dinner with several people at Bubba Gump’s, only one of whom I knew anything about. Across from me was a guy with a tattoo relating to theoretical physics. He introduced himself as Hap. I recognized him from his webcomic, Sherbet & Sunshine.
The rest of the table recognized him from this story.
It’s that good. I wish I had gotten to it then, but I’m so glad I finally read it. It’s melancholy, it’s elegantly written, and it’s worth the trip. This is my top recommendation out of this set.
For years, I have waited.
I have watched the skies, ever clouded by the windigos since the time of Platinum the Traitor.
At long last, with the coming of the one called Twilight Sparkle, I will set the world right.
And to close off this round, we end with a bit of a controversial one. Ebon Quill and I had a discussion about it due to the goings on within this story. Eventually, we decided to go with it, if for no other reason that it prompted a discussion. There are far worse things a story can be accused of, but a conversation about its merits isn’t one of them.
Now, what I just said doesn’t mean this story is poorly told, or has terrible prose, or any other negative thing we look for to veto out a recommendation. Everything in this fic is deliberately done, with an emphasis on viewing events from the perspective of a rather jaded character. It’s a classic tale of two views of life suddenly crashing together and dealing with the reality that no pony thinks the same way.
The story opens with a rather cold open (HA!) with the apply named Grayscale. The first few thousands words may leave you wondering about the setting and what’s going on, but it doesn’t take long before the bigger picture is revealed. It’s the kind of story that gives us just a tiny glimpse into a much broader world, doling out hints and clues as to what’s happening. Needless to say, it’s not the type of world that you expect from a show like this.
Just be aware that this story earns its dark tag, but stays within the bounds of a teen rating.
So, have I teased you enough? Intrigued? Then check this out! Perhaps a new discussion will pop up once a few new readers look into this.
Ah, “From Endless Snow…” and its Bradbury reference. Yeah, this one caused some debate, but that shouldn’t keep folks from uncovering what lurks beneath the surface. It's a well told story, make no mistake. It has strong characterization for our perspective character, Grayscale, and a decent take on Twilight. It's a story that is interesting conceptually, as it answers a question that had crossed everyone's mind: “What happened to the original ponies trapped under the windigoes’ ice?”
The ponies depicted here learned many hard lessons. Through Grayscale, we are given insight into what happened after Princess Platinum fled the ice storms, and it’s not pretty. What we learn makes it clear that the tenets of Harmony are virtually unknown within the walls of the Last City.
This is a great story to get into the head of someone with a lot of baggage, and it’s worth the ride, so long as you are ready for a jaunt into some darker territory. I’ll be reading Between Line’s other works with a weather eye on those background ponies, and I can’t wait to see what else I find.
“That’s the last of them,” Ebon Quill said, pushing away from the tombstone table. “I’m happy to have been of service. Now—”
“Oh, no you don’t,” Ferret said, pulling a manila envelope out of her saddlebag. “I think these will convince you to return with us to Headquarters.”
Ebon leafed through the thick papers, the candlelight inside his mausoleum reflected in his glasses.
Intern had corrected a few typos and numbered the reviews as the silence coiled around the dank underground lair.
“You’re monsters,” Ebon said, shoving the photographs back into their envelope. “You’re all monsters.”
“Takes one to know one, sweetie,” Ferret said, voice thick with sugary sarcasm. “You’ll fit in fine. Intern?”
“Thought you’d never ask,” he said. “Though I’m beginning to wonder if any of you even remember my name…” He tossed a recall bead to the ground and mashed it flat with his hoof.
“No! Wait!” Ebon said, as the world folded around them. “My gloomy ambiance! No-o….”
And they were gone.
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
Darn it guys, now I gotta go back and find that discussion.
And looking at these which I haven't read yet, I think I'll like From Endless Snow... the best.
Well, I've added all but one of these to my Read-it-Sooner...
On the subject of sad Trixie fics, I really cannot oversell They Don't Know Her by Sporktacles. Seriously, more people need to read it.
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Probably won't be able to showcase that one as it's right at the cusp of having too many views. By the time we get to it, it'll probably go over our limit.
Also, if you have recommendations, send them over here. We're always looking for new stuff to highlight!
Welcome to the Angels, Ebon Quill!
And it looks like for some reason I've got the first two chapters of Five Minutes In A Balloon read, but not the third one (which came out a few days later). Time to rectify that!
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Thanks! It's quite an honor, and I'm glad to be helping out!
Now if only they'd let me hang up some Halloween decorations up, or something...