At long last; 'the Changelings Have a King' Notes · 6:03am Jun 7th, 2017
I just realized that ‘Changelings’ is essentially the length of a small novel.
Anyway, here are the notes for ‘Changelings.’ They’ve taken so long because I’ve only been dabbling at them whenever writer’s block strikes (which given the time and energy being devoted to my spawn’s arrival, is more often these days.)
I basically went back and reread the whole story, jotting down notes as I progressed. I know Yami might be the only one to appreciate this, but it was fun to do anyway.
Please enjoy. If you need me, I’ll be desperately trying to figure out how Fluttershy should be reacting to the Great City of Zeph.
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-The title ‘the Changelings Have a King’ is actually a reference to a short story in a collection I own filled with stories about giant monsters. The original story is called ‘the Locusts Have a King.’
-Violet, Daring Do’s assistant, of course shares the name with Rainbow Dash’s since deleted, drug-addled sister from the original version of ‘Dear Scootaloo.’
-I always considered the Smooze to be one of the more horrifying of the G1 Villains. It’s essentially a Shoggoth when you really think about it. Integrating it into the story allowed me to put my own spin on the character AND cover one of my least favorite plot holes in the series; where was Luna during the Changeling invasion?
-“Nothing can stop the Smooze.” Of course this is a direct reference to the Smooze’s original (and incredibly catchy) song.
-The portable dragon fire concept isn’t mine. I borrowed it from a ponified take on the video game ‘Catherine’ I read forever ago.
-The attack of the Smooze is actually one of my favorite scenes in the entire continuity, believe it or not. I strove to make it as reminiscent of the first scenes of the monster movies I grew up watching as I possibly could.
-Mareco Polo was originally just a clever name. Only in the course of the story did he evolve into the character he is now.
-Sunny Town is of course a reference to ‘Story of the Blanks,’ still one of the finest pieces of horror this fandom has ever produced.
-Ah, Molt. One of my very favorite creations. Way back in ‘Our Darkest Days,’ he was going to be the last surviving Changeling, a spy for Princess Luna. I decided that Chrysalis needed a voice of reason and Molt fit the role perfectly. He still has some of my favorite lines in the story. Bet you can’t guess what they are…
-The song Amber Waves has just finished singing? ‘Bohemian Rhapsody.’
-Amber Waves’ name is obviously a reference to ‘America the Beautiful.’
-Crescendo having his students refer to him as ‘Magister’ is something my own Latin teacher pressed on us back in high school.
-I’d be hard-pressed to tell you where the Crescendo/Cheerilee friends-to-lovers thing came from. It just sort of seemed… natural, I guess. The characters wrote it, not me.
-Rainbow Dash and Caramel getting drunk together is one of the first scenes I created for the story.
-Fluttershy asking Twilight to use a spell to help her fertility issues; dropped plot thread or red herring? You decide.
-Scarlet’s being born early actually came about because of a botched bit of time management on my part. I realized too late that her gestation period didn’t quite mesh with the rest of the timeline’s events.
-The Smooze’s “Don’t. Even. Try.” warning to Celestia is actually, once again, from the ‘Nothing Can Stop the Smooze’ song.
-I kind of love how Crescendo is aware that Luna and Starswirl were lovers, but he just doesn’t care. The royal family makes such a big deal about these things…
-“Or is that another letter?” Hahahaha references!
-If there’s any scene in the story that truly disappoints me, it’s Shining Armor and Cadance’s reconciliation. It feels way too rushed to have any sort of emotional impact.
-Crescendo and Spike are best Eskimo brothers (look it up, kids.)
-The name ‘Janice’ that Chrysalis uses while disguised is based on Janus, the two-faced Roman God (hence her Cutie Mark). And yes, it is a ‘Goldeneye’ reference.
-Maredonian is simply Google Translated Macedonian. Don’t want to look it up? She basically calls Rarity a cow.
-The confrontation between Fluttershy and Cheerilee is one of my absolute favorite scenes in the story. The escalating fury in the dialogue is just (kisses fingers).
-Man, did folks turn on Crescendo when he used the L-word when talking about Spike or what?
-I just love the simple imagery of Ponyville’s two teachers getting drunk and complaining about their romantic entanglements.
-I’m not sure how it happened, but the relationship between Luna and Shining Armor just became this natural, loving thing. I’m really going to miss writing their interplay.
-The little scene between Veritas and the Smooze is pretty much lifted entirely, visually anyway, from the remake of ‘the Blob.’ The film’s final scene is what I’m referring to.
-There’s really no way to explain this in the story, but I envisioned Arpeggio as basically a palette-swapped Rarity. Poor Crescendo never really did move on.
-Speaking of inter-play, I also really love the dialogue between Applejack and Applebloom in the park scene.
-Gee, how can I make Carapace more disgusting? How about creepy, semi-incestuous fantasies about his cousin?
-The entire dinner scene is one of the things I’m most proud of ever writing. It’s tense, it flows well, it gets important information across, and it develops the characters… It was just a joy to write and one of my favorite things to go back and read.
-I also adore Shining Armor, Luna, and Moon Shadow playing an RPG. So adorably nerdy.
-The reference to Luna’s hammer is from ‘The Night is Passing,’ also known as my favorite piece of fanfiction ever written.
-To those who have sent me messages complaining that I have a ton of mare/mare couples but barely any stallion/stallion couples, please take note; Veritas refers to Mareco’s “spouse” and not his “wife.”
-Rainbow Dash’s monologue was a late addition to the story. I originally toyed with making it its own story, but I think it works just fine as part of this chapter.
-It may seem petty, but yes; Arpeggio only made it into the story so I could tie up loose ends.
-I really do feel bad for Chrysalis. The moment when she sees her little brood of monsters and she feels doubt for the first time really broke my heart. All she wants is to see her species continue.
-Crescendo and Spike’s battle was something else that was always in the wings. I enjoy it. It’s a fun little fight scene.
-Imagine my joy when in this past season finale, we saw a Changeling swarm descend on a pony… and it was just as horrifying as I imagined it could be.
-The Emissary of Shadows is actually one of the Continuity’s Big Bads. You’ll see more of him at some point in ‘On Swift Wings’ and he has a vital role to play in ‘All the Pretty Little Horses.’
-So I knew I needed Brother Veritas in the story going forward, but I also needed to raise the stakes somewhat. How do we do that? Well, why don’t we destroy the Archives? Now Veritas is the sole repository for every great mystery and secret in Equestrian history.
-I like the moment where Veritas’ own memories blend together with the contents of the Archives. There’s actually some neat information I hid in there;
"Brother Veritas, I'd like to introduce you to your new pupil, the Princess Cadance. I trust you two will be great fri…”
-Princess Celestia introducing Veritas to the filly Cadance.
“End this treachery now! You cannot trust them! They will be the end of our race!"
-One of General Hurricane’s advisors just after the founding of Equestria.
”You will purge the Archives of her very existence. Equestria must for…”
-Princess Celestia instructing a previous Brother Veritas to erase all knowledge of the Phoenix Queen.
“Give me, Twilight. I thought you were beyond simple fairy tales. Very well. Once upon a time, there were two sisters..."
-Veritas telling Twilight the story of Celestia and Luna, thereby kicking off the events of the series.
"I forsake my lands, my family, my titles, and my very name. I am the Truth, and the Truth shall make you free...”
-Brother Veritas taking his vows to become keeper of the Archives.
“…zing, I'm freezing, Oh Celestia it is so cold up here how could you condemn me to this?! How could you do this to your own sister?!"
-Celestia once tried to use automatic writing to contact Luna from her imprisonment on the moon. The text was locked away in the Archives.
"I will always love you, Blank Page.”
-Brother Veritas was once a simple pony named Blank Page. He forsook everything, even love, to take up the cause of the Archives.
“For forever and a day."
-Luna’s shattered promise to Esmeralda of the Crystal Empire, one of only two ponies she ever really loved.
-There’s something undeniably cool about Celestia physically throwing down with a monster, wouldn’t you agree?
-"Goodness." She licked her dry lips. "I haven't felt this good since that night with the farmer." What I wouldn’t give to see Applejack’s reaction to that sentence about her great grand-daddy.
-Alright. The Battle of Ponyville.
So way, way back when I started building the Big Three, I knew that the climax of the first third would have to be something dramatic. Something earth-shaking. I very quickly settled on the concept of the ponies of Ponyville having an all-out battle with the, at that point, invading Changelings. I knew the body count would have to be high.
Those of you who have been reading for the past few years may recall a blog post I made where I mentioned something big, something I was super worried about people reacting badly to. That was the Battle of Ponyville.
-I chose Cup Cake as the first to die because I knew it would be shocking. I had teased a major death just before the chapter went up and I knew that if Cup was the first to fall, folks wouldn’t be expecting the chapter’s climax.
-Applejack’s use of the Canterlot Royal Voice and her rallying speech to the ponies were two bits that went through numerous revisions. Originally, she didn’t use the Voice until she was in the thick of battle.
As to the speech; I’m a big fan of pre-battle speeches. I knew that this one had to be worthy of some of my favorites. I pretty much wrote and rewrote the thing a dozen times.
A relatively late addition was the idea that the ponies are being calmed and readied for battle by Applejack’s ambient magic.
-Ah, Caramel in the graveyard. This was originally the swan song for Pinkie’s husband. He basically fought the Changelings desecrating Pinkie’s grave and went down fighting, his last thoughts wondering why his wife’s casket was empty. I ultimately decided that Caramel had more to do down the road and made him a badass instead.
Eagle-eyed readers will notice that this was a late in the game change. The matches that Caramel uses needed to be set up… so I added a line in his first chapter right after the Battle went live.
-In all of the Battle, the scene with Spike, Rarity, and Crescendo trading banter and making peace in the midst of the fighting might very well be my favorite. I love that little family. In another time, in another place, I think those three are still together…
-If I ever make a list of my favorite moments I’ve written, Rarity hugging Spike and Crescendo and calling them “my boys” will be very high on it.
-And so now we see that while Belial’s vision for Fluttershy was indeed a lie, there was a seed of truth there.
-I trust my readers enough to know that when Cheerilee tells Fluttershy to take care of Mac, she’s consigning herself to her doom. There’s something so tragically, beautifully sad that Cheerilee is undone by the thing she’s best at, that she was always meant to do; take care of Ponyville’s foals.
-I love that Suri is such an awful pony that not even her daughter spares her a second look before she’s devoured.
-In the end, I allowed Filthy Rich to redeem himself. He truly loves his daughter and doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice his life for hers. I even allowed him to go out like an absolute gentleman.
-Applejack fully activating her powers for the first time was another scene long in the making. Originally she just summoned thorned vines from nowhere that choked the life out of all the Impure Changelings. Then I remembered Discord’s plunderseeds…
See, in the Continuity, the events surrounding the Season 4 opener never happened. So those seeds were still in the ground, just waiting for somepony to wake them up.
-The moment where Applejack strolls back into the square in full goddess mode, talking in an ancient language? Directly inspired by ‘Atlantis: the Lost Empire.’
-And so the truth comes out. Even transformed into a badass king of the Changelings, Blueblood is still the same petty, insecure, whiny little ass that he always was. Rarity and Molt’s shock at this revelation is kinda great.
-Carapace’s words will haunt Rarity, as you’ll soon see in ‘On Swift Wings.’
-(Deep breath) Alright. Let’s talk about Spike.
Here’s the thing; Spike was always going to die. I planted the seeds to make everyone think that it would be Crescendo taking the bullet for his one-time lover, but that was to mislead you. It was always going to be Spike. I know where this road will end, and I know that Spike had no place at the finish-line. I let him die a hero’s death, giving his life for the mare he loves.
…I’m so sorry it had to happen. I’m so sorry, Spike. You were the first MLP character I wrote. I’ll miss you terribly.
-Folks tell me that the moment in ‘Dear Sweetie Belle’ when Sweetie calls Rarity “mommy” for the first time makes them cry. Well, Rarity’s begging for Spike to wake up wrecked me the first time I wrote it out.
-I was a big fan of Bill Willingham’s ‘Fables’ series for quite a few years, up until the last couple story arcs. Dr. Swineheart was one of the Fables and this is my little tribute.
-I freely admit that the whole idea of Golden Haze and Celestia being a couple was Rubycast’s invention. I just loved the concept so much that I had to make it canon to the Continuity. It gives Celestia new depth and adds another layer to Golden Haze (who honestly was created as a cardboard stand-in until I could think of something better.) I find these two adorable together, particularly when Celestia wakes up and they just share a simple “Hey.”
-Under normal circumstances, Shining Armor facing off with the creature who literally seized control of his mind would be rife with dramatic tension. I ultimately found that Chrysalis really wouldn’t care at this point. She’s broken.
-If I had to pick one “Hell yeah” moment in the story, it would be Trixie and Haze joining Shining Armor for the climactic showdown. Haze’s “Make no mistake; they are defended” still gives me goosebumps.
-And another one bites the dust. Ah, Trixie. It really is a shame that by the time the show got around to making you an interesting character, I’d already killed you off. At least you got a dramatic sacrifice.
-Trixie’s final words (“Luna nobis providet”) is Latin for “the moon provides for us” and graced the original coat of arms of the New Lunar Republic way back in the earliest days of the fandom.
-And here we have the moment, at the very end of the tale, that Carapace finally earns his spot as one of the Big Three Villains of the Continuity. His final betrayal of Chrysalis is meant to be callous and cruel, but also genuinely heartbreaking for Chrysalis. Sadly, I don’t think it comes off that well and this might be the biggest failing of the story.
Oh well. All worth it for the delicious evil of “I’m going to need that love back.”
-You guys have no idea… NO IDEA… how long I was preparing for Shining Armor’s death and Belial’s return. This one scene took THREE YEARS to perfect, longer than any other in the story, and I’m still not super satisfied with how it plays out. There are so many little things here that I need an entire subsection of the notes;
1. Belial’s “I have so many names” is from ‘The Devil’s Advocate.’
2. Twilight’s victory over Belial’s temptations ultimately saves her brother’s soul.
3. Shining Armor finally (FINALLY) voices how genuinely fucked up his entire situation is. For the first time, it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows and ‘Everything will work out somehow I promise.’ Shining Armor more than earned the title of Prince of Sinners, and it is SO SATISFYING to finally see him come to terms with that.
4. When he’s at his lowest, Shining Armor kneels before the Devil himself. Only when he finds strength in the thought of his sons is he able to stand.
5. I truly wish that I could claim credit for “Then rise, warrior, and go out with a lion’s roar.” Sadly, that is the ONE good line from Frank Miller’s ‘the Dark Knight Strikes Again’ and comes from the death of Captain Marvel.
6. And, after all that, after confessing his sins and coming to terms with the bastard that he is… Shining Armor still isn’t the one to save the day. Chrysalis is.
-I felt terrible for what I did to Chrysalis in this story, but I think it all balances out. I love her satisfaction knowing that she’s undone all of Carapace’s work.
-I’m not entirely sure when I decided that Molt was going to be Mareco Polo. It was a late addition to the story, I know that much.
-Fluttershy’s line that Carrot was “all over the place” is from ‘the Lost World: Jurassic Park.’
-It didn’t occur to me until much later, but the moment before AJ runs to Sweet Apple Acres is the first time she and Dash say “I love you.” It just happened naturally, with no planning at all.
-My buddy Clint has been BEGGING me to put Zecora in a story for years. Hope the wait was worth it, buddy.
-Cheerilee. Oh Cheerilee. Why did you have to fall for Crescendo? If you hadn’t, then perhaps your death would not have hurt as bad as it did.
I love Cheerilee. She’s one of my favorite characters to watch, to read, and to write. I knew that she would give her life for her students in ‘Changelings,’ but I never reckoned with how cold writing her death would make me feel. In another life, I imagine that she and Crescendo actually became something down the line; the two teachers of Ponyville, loved by the town and by each other.
I’ll miss you more than some others, Cheers. I hope you enjoy the timeline I left you in with Mac. You deserve it.
-Cheerilee’s death is also pretty much the teacher’s death from ‘the Birds.’ I saw the chance for an homage and I took it.
-Crescendo’s last rites for Cheerilee roughly translate to “Now, teacher, rest beneath your flowers. We will not forget your name. We will not forget you. Rest in peace.”
-I…
Okay, look. There are moments when you’re telling a story when you don’t want to tell a story anymore because you know how it’s going to end and the ending isn’t going to be nice. Then there are times when you want to tell a story and you don’t realize until it’s too late that things aren’t going to end well.
And then there are the stories that you don’t want to end because you love the characters so much.
I loved Applebloom, you all have to know that. I adored writing the dynamic between her and Applejack. I relished every opportunity I had to write her interacting with her friends. If Sweetie Belle’s tale was the soil the Continuity sprung from, then Applebloom’s was the seed. I had the immense honor of writing her birth and bore the unbearable despair of typing her demise.
That’s why I took the negative reaction to her death so hard.
I didn’t realize in the years of planning ‘Changelings’ that the parade of death that ends the story would turn off a lot of people. I simply hadn’t reckoned that some people weren’t as in love with these characters as I was.
I’m so sorry. Genuinely, I am. But you all have to know that my pain at losing her is just as deep as yours, if not deeper.
After all, I’m the one who pulled the trigger.
-Sadness aside, Applebloom’s death is easily the most affecting of the big deaths because she actually gets to say good-bye. Spike doesn’t get a final line and Shining Armor’s final moments are with Belial. Applebloom’s story ends just as it began; held by Applejack. There’s something beautiful about that. I still tear up at “Mama?” and Applejack’s breakdown everytime I reach that point.
-The excerpt from ‘Dear Applebloom’ is my good-bye, not just to the Crusader, but to her relationship with Applejack as well.
-Diamond Tiara, and her tarnished family name, will have a major part to play in the tales to come.
-At long last, the meeting between Celestia’s greatest student and Luna’s greatest student! And of course Nevermore would have a pet raven named Lenore. I’m a hack, you see. An absolute fraud.
-So here’s a late revision.
Originally, the pony that Twilight is shocked to see was supposed to be a major surprise… at the end of ‘On Swift Wings.’ In my take on the final scene of ‘Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest,’ the Guild would be gathered in the epilogue preparing for their return to the Timeline. Pinkie Pie would then come bouncing in, super excited to be going home.
The incredible negativity surrounding the conclusion of ‘Changelings’ made me reconsider and ultimately I decided that I should let the cat out of the bag early. Results were mixed, ultimately, but I still like how it plays out.
And you’ve gotta admit; it’s good to have Pinkie back.
-I really hope that this, the first of two planned confrontations between Luna and Cadance, came off as well as I envisioned. I needed Luna to be as true to herself as Shining Armor was… and I needed Cadance continuing her spiral into insanity. Her threat to kill Luna pretty much cements her villain status… I mean, if tearing out Brother Veritas’ eyes didn’t do it already.
-Luna and Applejack have an interesting relationship in the days to come. I rather like their dynamic here.
-It’s good that Luna recognizes how close Rarity is to falling into the darkness. Nopony would know better than her, I suppose.
-Originally, Luna escorted Blueblood to his cell, declared him persona non grata, and then locked him inside with Applejack and Macintosh. As the scene originally played out, AJ and Mac start torturing Blueblood and it’s implied they stretch it out over a course of several days before finally killing him. They’d then return to the farm and collapse, sobbing, into the arms of their respective better halves.
I ultimately decided that I wanted to take Mac in a kinder, gentler direction, and that Luna deserved a bit of revenge herself
-As satisfying as the revenge was, Applejack has crossed a line that cannot be uncrossed. She will pay for her sins one day, as all have before her.
-Meet Jack Junior, everybody! I’m quite proud of how Fluttershy’s story worked out in the end and I hope you enjoy the New Apple Family as we move forward.
-The scene between Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle in the clubhouse was a late addition, but very necessary. It feels like an epilogue to the ‘Dear’ series.
-And so Applejack’s secret is laid bare, and things will never be the same for her. This scene was pretty much unchanged from the beginning, from the book exploding to the townsponies starting to bow.
-The last image of the story proper is heavily symbolic. The New Apple Family (Mac, Fluttershy, Scarlet, Jay Jay, AJ, and Dash) charging in to salvage what they can of the Old Apple Family.
-Behold Valeria.
Beware Valeria.
Yeah. Kind of.
I mean, even not having read a word of the continuity, your passion for writing is kind of oozing out of the screen and drowning me.
It's drowning me too, but I'll happily ask for more. Great insights here!
You were expecting people to take Applebloom dying as a good thing?
Seriously though, that was a great scene. I can see some people being turned off by Characters Dropping Like Flies, but there weren’t that many objectors.
Looking forward to seeing who the other Big Bad of the continuity is besides Carapace and the Emissary.... God-Empress Featherbrain looks threatening, but it’s only the penultimate story. We still have yet to see the full depredations of the Crystal Empress or [REDACTED]... Belial’s there, but barring some big revelations he comes across more as a Greater-Scope Villain who’s content to watch and occasionally stir the pot. (And if were talking about memorability, there’s the other Feather brain, but he’s small fry in the grand scheme of things.)
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Not at all. I knew people would be upset, but not so much that they’d downvote the whole story.
Unfortunate. I think she has already paid(and still paying) quite a lot already. Terrible Chekov’s gun, in my honest opinion.
My upvote is still there and hasn’t changed.
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AJ’s penance will take a different form than others. Not all punishments are pain and death.
Sometimes we’re punished by being forced to become the very thing we hate.
I made this account just to comment on this blog because I love the world you've crafted so much. I have read nearly all of your stories and certainly all that tie into this continuity directly with I think the exception of the Lyra/Bon Bon stories (which I will get to).
You are an amazing writer and overall I felt every point in this story made sense. I was saddened by the death of the characters who died, even Molt and Chrysalis. However I wasn't mad about it. I am desperate to see how the next section turns out!