Our Last Anniversary · 6:19pm January 11th
I've been radio silent on social media since my now ex-wife and I announced our split. A few days ago, I was moved to write this and post it on Facebook. Figured I might as well post it here as well.
Folks say it's pretty good.
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I've found that it's easier to look at the last thirteen years as a series of moments rather than as a cohesive whole. Looking at the whole, it's chaos. It's messy and unwieldy and dangerous. Looking at the whole all I can see are the fights, the tears, and the regrets. But looking at the moments? I can look at the moments and I can smile. I can cry, too.
But I can let them go.
We were each others victim and villain, both. We were oil and water. We came together quickly, foolishly, passionately, and we ignored each and every warning sign along the road. We tried to bring out the best in each other, tried to make each other into what we thought we needed, but selfishly we refused to change.
And it's okay. Because we made them. And we had our moments.
I serenaded you in a karaoke bar. Twice.
We shared a view from a hotel that neither of us ever dreamed we would ever stay in.
We danced like fools for our friends and families.
We sat in the car and listened as the last Christmas music went off the air.
"You've got a friend in me."
We watched the fireworks from a place few get to.
"Canoe move?!"
We wept together when the first came into this world.
We held each other when the second at first refused to cry.
I'd like to say that I will hold onto these precious moments, and hundreds like them, while I let the bad ones fade away. But I can't. And I won't. I'll hold onto them all, file them away. These were our moments, and even though we're done I will always keep them.
And that's okay. Because we made them. And we had our moments.
Every agony, every joy, every moment we spent together... it was worth it just for them. Those two little monsters who are going to take over the world someday.
And now we've gone our separate ways. Some will judge how we're handling this. What else is new? You're happy now. Happier than you've been in a long time. That's enough for me. That should be enough for anybody.
They told us in the beginning that we were moving too fast. Maybe we were. But we still made it almost thirteen years, didn't we? Not bad for two dumb kids from opposite sides of the country who met on Facebook.
Besides, these last thirteen years had purpose, didn't they? Their names are Ezra and Milo.
I loved you once. You loved me too. I thought I would love you always. But love isn't always, is it? Love comes in moments.
Our moments are over.
And that's okay.
Today, I wish you well. I wish you happiness and love. And I thank you for our boys.
And for the moments.
Big hugs bud
🫂🫂🫂
Absolutely beautiful 🥹! I wish you well in the future, sir.
Beautiful and saddening.
That's beautiful.
Aww, I've just seen this only after sending my last direct message to you... I'm so sorry to hear about your breakup. You have expressed and written this all so beautifully. Sending hugs your way and wishing you the best <3