Story Reviews » SA Reviews #105 · 1:16am May 28th, 2017
Seattle's Angels is a group that promotes good stories with low views. You can find us here.
Of the many things Scarlet Weather anticipated on seeing when she entered the Angels’ breakroom, seeing a beet red Intern splayed all over the couch, face down, wasn’t too far off from the ordinary. Extraordinary required extra-dimensional mirror portal travel, demon invasion, and Ferret shenanigans. And with the advances being done with Scarlet’s compact, the first one would soon be bumped down the list.
So it was that Scarlet walked past Intern, opened the fridge, grabbed a fruit drink, and headed back towards the exit.
“Aren’t you going to ask what happened?” Intern’s muffled voice called after her.
“No. I can come up with a few things myself, thank you.”
Intern somehow sank lower into the couch cushions. “You’re all so cruel…”
Scarlet shook her head, a wasted effort since no one saw it. “No, we’re on a deadline. Those are two totally separate things.”
ROUND 105
"Those of us who have a general overview and knowledge of King Sombra regard him to be a despotic autocrat, a power-hungry potentate and a vicious oppressor. And, even if this condemnation is justified, we may perhaps not have the right reason for this attribution. This is due to the fact that before King Sombra turned to the tyrant we all know him to be, he was the greatest knight of the Crystal Empire."
-Sir Sombra de Onyx, Foreword to the Third Edition
Holy bleeping bleepity bleep. RT was the one who added this to the list, so thank you to him. Apparently it's off Chris's shelves, so thank you to Chris. Also holy bleepity bleep bleep bleep.
First of all, if you are at all a big fan of "pony story imitating author/outmoded genre style X" and you have not read this, you are hereby bound by law to pick it up and devour it as soon as humanly possible. Second, holy bleeping bleepity bleep is this clever. Arthurian: The Black King is the fictional history of King Sombra back when he was Sir Sombra Onyx of the Crystal Empire, written in the style of an Arthurian romance. It has all the trappings of the genre too - some outmoded language constructions, an emphasis on the value of chivalry, impossibly heroic characters, a lead character who proves his worth through selfless deeds, and a bit right in the middle where the author forgot she'd left her character stranded on the body of a sea serpent and magically teleports him back into the action.
Oh, sorry, I forgot to mention that when I said 'fictional history' I meant that the events presented in the story are just that: a fictional history. "Arthurian: The Black King" is actually made up of an annotated copy of the fiction-within-a-fiction romance, "Sombra de Onyx", along with an afterword. The romance was penned by fictional character Whisperwind, and the annotations detail the historical inaccuracies, embellishments, and 'real' basis for the events in her story. This is one of the most clever and ambitious short projects I've seen on FimFiction, and I absolutely adore it. Once you realize what the story is doing, you can kind of forgive the plot - which, frankly, would read much less well outside of the context it's presented in. I absolutely adore touches like the fact that the ninth volume is missing because Whisperwind never got around to writing that part, and that a footnote references the fact that authors of other romances have actually tried to fill in the gap for how Sombra got off that sea serpent I mentioned earlier.
All that said, I have no idea how this reads if you aren't already familiar with reading annotated romances. If you have at least a cursory familiarity - like, you're in on the 'joke' as it were - this is probably a more rewarding read than if you miss it. Even without that context, though, the romance portions are enjoyable enough on their own and the footnotes and afterword do a great job contextualizing the rest of the story without having to scour your bookshelves for Le Morte D'Arthur. If you only read one of our four stories this week, pick this one.
This one juuuuuuuuuuuust slips under our view limits, but it’s worth it. Also, if you’re familiar with the comic’s FIENDship is Magic version of Sombra’s origin, try not to let that color your expectations. But there is one thing the comics and this story have in common: Tragedy.
This story is written in a deliberate manner, that of an Arthurian tale. I read a few of these in high school and it brought back ALL the nostalgia. What we have here is a form of storytelling that skimps on details because it’s far more interested in the broader scope. We’re following the lifetime of Sombra’s rise to darkness so jumping forward in time a few years at a moment’s notice to focus on the important bits is very common. Think of it as a bard or scribe telling this story and who needs to hit the highlights in order to keep a crowd enthralled.
Lot’s of Ye Olde English in here, and used to great effect. Factoring in Luna’s and Pinkie Pie’s parents’ vernacular, this make sense, since this is all taking place over a thousand years ago. Fair warning, it’s used throughout, so I hope you have a stomach for it.
One part that I want to point out that got an amused grin out of me, was when Sombra’s stranded out in the middle of an ocean and the very next paragraph has him chasing down a pirate on land. If you think this is a plot hole, you’d be right, and the notations call this out. It’s all a part of the storytelling process where a whole other story can be told to fill in the holes, and sometimes be even more thrilling that what actually happened.
Oh yeah, there are also notations. Deal with it.
So if you’ve ever wanted to dip your toes in Arthurian legends but didn’t know where to start, let pony be your gateway.
STORY 2
Autophobia, by Ice Star
After Luna's banishment, a guilt filled Celestia searches for answers. Trying to gain a new understanding of what caused her sister's misery, she visits the valley that once housed Starswirl the Bearded as well as Luna and herself many years ago. It is here that she believed everything started.
She finds so much more than she asked for.
This is the most dense thing I've read for this cycle of reviews, and they include a thirty-thousand word attempt to emulate the style of medieval romance. Get ready to focus if you read this one, because you will get lost very quickly otherwise.
Autophobia is a narrative poem detailing a specific period after Luna's banishment to the moon, following Princess Celestia through a slow emotional breakdown and the disintegration of her world. It is forty tons of angst packed into a few thousand words. It's also, like most narrative poems, trying to hit your emotions before anything else, in the rawest way it possibly can. More than anything else, its earliest 'chapters' focus on loneliness and separation and loss, and it employs some light hypertext elements to convey this. Princess Celestia seeing a snowflake split in two causes her emotional anguish, and it's conveyed through something as simple as the use of colored text.
I have to admit that it's really hard for me to review this story 'fairly'. I have some amount of personal experience with things like 'being depressed' and 'hating yourself' and 'feeling lonely' - we all do, to some extent. One danger of having very specific experiences is that sometimes you'll run into a story that tries to awaken them, and it just won't resonate the way it's supposed to- and it's hard to tell if it's your fault or the story's. In this case I think it's mine more than anything else. As much as I love everything Ice Star has done here, I felt like I was always at arm's length from Celestia's sadness in "Autophobia", and I wanted to be drowning in it with her. It might be the choice to use free verse poetry at all- as well as it conveys emotion and scope and imagery, it can work to obscure narrative flow. It might also be that I am a terrible reader and this is not for me.
That said? While I felt at arm's length from this one, the imagery has some really get-you-in-the-gut moments. Princess Celestia crying too much to finish a journal is going to stay with me long after I read this. This is a story that even if it didn't hit me as hard as I wish it had is worth picking up and poring through.
I’ve said once before that while I have an appreciation for poetry, a lot of the concepts and construction of said genre kinda go right over my head. While I could write essays on the previous story, this one’s tougher for me to talk about.
That said, even I can glean plenty from this work. Having just sealed her sister into the Moon, Celestia slowly succumbs to the realization that she’s lost the best thing she ever had. Strong use of imagery depicts Celestia losing more and more of herself, though it’s arguable that she was never herself to begin with. You can thank her upbringing on that.
Speaking of, this piece describes just why Starswirl never learned how to use the magic of friendship.
It’s a sad state to be sure, but we the readers can take some solace in that it’ll get better for Celestia. She just has to wait out the next thousand years.
If you’re hankering for a unique storytelling experience, look no further!
STORY 3
Comfort Food, by Petrichord
When Rainbow Dash tries to do thoughtful things for other ponies, it generally turns out pear-shaped. Which, of course, is what happens when a pony as unthoughtful as her tries to do such things.
But, hey, what's a bit of a mess when it comes to making food for one's friend? It shouldn't be that much of a bother, right?
Right?
I confess that I picked this out entirely because I wanted something short, pleasant, and amusing - something 'fluffy'. That's the best way I can describe this story, in fact - fluffy. It's cute, amusing, and doesn't have a ton of bite or tension to it. If you are allergic to stories which can be described in these terms no matter how short or amusing they are, then you can feel safe skipping this one, and also probably the rest of this review. Starting... now.
Okay now that all the joyless people in the world are gone, "Comfort Food" earned immediate points from me for showing off a combination of characters that doesn't often occur in the show and now I wish did. Spike tends to make a great foil when he's played show-accurate, and seeing him bounce off the well-meaning Rainbow Dash as she prepares what might be the most disgusting breakfast I can imagine for a sick person is both sweet and silly, with the right amounts of both being present. I could imagine this playing as the cold open or a B-plot for an actual episode of the show, and that's what it feels like - a forgotten B-plot that never quite made it to screen. Petrichord is definitely an author to watch out for if you prefer your fics to read a bit like adaptations of lost scripts from the show team.
Let’s lighten things up here. Too much tragedy and angst can make anypony grumpy. Thank goodness we have Rainbow Dash!
Twilight is feeling under the weather, so it’s up to Rainbow Dash, Ponyville’s premiere weather pony, to make her totes better. The fact that being a weather pony has nothing to do with Rainbow Dash’s plan is irrelevant.
It’s the thought that counts, right?
Pure and simple, this is a silly story, but one that captures Rainbow Dash in one of her better moments. Coming in like a hurricane and leaving a mess to match, Dashie is the type of friend you wished you had and just can’t stay mad at.
So, take a gander and let the rainbow flow.
STORY 4
Being Neighborly, by JMac
Sheriff May Berry of Eutaw County was enjoying a dull day. Unfortunately, things swiftly went from boring to "interesting." Sheriff Berry must find a missing foal; a case that may involve a mysterious stranger and lots of cactus.
I knew I was going to like this story from the moment a dog leaped for their owner's hat and managed to ruin a piece of furniture.
Describing the premise and the events of Being Neighborly would sell the story short, this is about how well the story is written moreso than the novelty of the story itself. The plot is very tight- just about everything in the first part of the story is set-up for later payoff, which is a writing canard very few authors on FimFic really execute on. The humor beats aren't six hours of guffawing funny but they're good for a chuckle here and there.
The story also plays off fandom expectations in very clever ways. The entire scenario feels like it's leading towards a similar outcome to a certain season one episode, down to including a few direct details meant to emulate it, and then promptly heads off in a completely different direction. Once I realized what was about to happen I ended up falling in love with the story all over again, and I liked it pretty well to begin with.
If I had to pick one word to describe this story, it would be 'charming' - and apparently the author's written at least one other story in this setting. Soon as I'm done with these reviews, I'm heading back. If you're a big fan of authors who read like good Americana, add this one to your to-read list.
Huh, this one’s an odd duck. I’m not sure what to make of it, but I do know that it kept me interested all the way to the end. This starts out like it’s going to be a typical police procedural/drama but morphs into something else as it goes on.
Plenty of clever writing is used throughout here. There’s a part near the middle where a group of characters are talking and I was getting confused as to why this scene was here. It didn’t seem to add anything and just kept going. It wasn’t until the very next scene that it all came together and I was rewarded for paying attention. Plus, we get to see a really cool hat trick!
For some reason I want to describe the humor used in this story as “British”. The type of humor where something extraordinary is happening but the characters act like it’s no big thing. If you’ve ever read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, you may know what I’m talking about.
I’m being purposely vague on the goings on with this fic, but you really need to go in cold. It’s refreshing to see a story subvert my expectations and still end up being enjoyable!
“There, now that those are done, we can go back to our normal relationship.”
Intern, now sitting up from the couch, raised an eyebrow. “And what would that be?”
“Ignoring you.” With that, Scarlet left the breakroom.
“So cruel…”
Feel free to visit our group for more information and events, and to offer some recommendations for future rounds. See you all next time!
This was set to come out today? Totally missed that. I guess that's what I get for ignoring Discord...
Oh hey, Ice Star getting some love~
I'm so glad Arthurian is getting more attention. It really is a stellar piece. :D
4549512 Agreed! It still holds as one of my all-time favorite pony fics.
...I suppose there's stranger things for me to notice in my feed first thing in the morning. Far stranger.
Ice Star is a great author. I'd easily recommend basically any story she's written.
4549745
Backed here. Such a unique way with words.
Well, hey! Wasn't expecting one of my fluffy bits to get a feature, but I'm thrilled as the dickens to make it here. Glad you guys enjoyed it!